"You're stupid."
"You're annoying.
"Well... you smell bad!"
"At least I can drive."
"Will you two shut up?" Darry groaned, pinching his brow as Steve and Ponyboy's voices invaded his ears. He reached behind him and dug out a chair cushion, throwing it in the boys' general direction. "Go play outside or something, I'm trying to watch a show here."
"Thought we couldn't go outside?" Steve mocked, his attempt at jest falling short in his annoyance. He bent his arm to throw the pillow right back, but one look at Darry's face made him hit Pony in the face with it instead. The younger boy yelped, his book falling from his hands and tumbling to the floor. Steve burst into laughter.
Pony huffed and stood up, snatching his book from the floor. "I'm gonna read in the backyard," he told his older brother, shooting Steve a glare as he stalked out of the room. The back door slammed as Pony left the house.
Darry exhaled a long sigh. His show was almost over and it was clear that he hadn't heard a word of it. He eyed Steve disapprovingly, clearly blaming him. "Ya know, you really oughta leave him alone every now and then, it ain't funny when you do it every-"
"Darry, we're out of hand sanitizer!" Darry was right in the middle of what promised to be a lengthy lecture, but Soda's shout from the kitchen snapped him right out of it. He got up from his armchair and walked quickly into the kitchen, not even thinking anymore about Steve's antics. His other brother was at the sink, scrubbing his hands.
"What do you mean we're out of sanitizer?" Darry walked over to the drawer where he'd stashed the many, many bottles he'd brought home, yanking it open. True to Soda's word, it was empty. "I just bought some, where the hell did it all go?"
"Captain Stupid decided to take a bath." Dallas stalked into the kitchen, making a beeline for the fridge and, subsequently, the beer. "Hey, anyone seen Johnny?" He didn't elaborate further on the previous matter, but it didn't take a genius for the statement to click in Darry's mind. He ignored the question. He slammed the drawer shut so hard he heard something crack and made an even faster walk to the bathroom, pushing open the door without even knocking.
Two-Bit gasped at being barged in on, but not as loud as Darry's "Two-Bit, what the hell is the matter with you?" The redhead stood in just his underwear, hovering over the bathtub that he'd filled as much as he could with hand sanitizer. He already had one foot in it, his face stricken with the knowledge that he'd been caught. Empty sanitizer bottles were strewn all over the bathroom floor.
"I'm getting clean!" Two-Bit didn't let Darry's murderous expression stop him, and he climbed completely into the tub. He raised an eyebrow at the other man and swiftly stripped the rest of his clothes, making Darry quickly turn away with a groan.
"You can't- that's not how it works!" Darry shouted, his face turned towards the hallway despite speaking to the man behind him. His teeth ground together, fists clenching at his sides. "Goddamn it, Two, I bought all the store had left and now it's all wasted!"
"We can reuse it!" Two-Bit argued, putting a generous amount of sanitizer on his head. He massaged it into his still-greased hair, his other hand rubbing the stuff into his chest. "It kills germs, right? So everyone can have a sit in the tub, and then we're decontaminated."
"I can't believe this, you're paying me back for every penny I spent on the stuff," Darry shook his head, daring to sneak a glare over his shoulder. He looked away as soon as he saw the sanitizer on Two-Bit's head, and stomped off before he could lose it. He slammed the bathroom door shut, not looking back on his way to the living room.
"Cranky?" Steve raised an eyebrow as he walked back in, but shut up as soon as he saw the look on Darry's face. Darry sat down in his chair again and began flipping through channels, practically fuming in his silence. Steve got up from the couch, heading towards the kitchen where Sodapop was making lunch, but a voice from the hallway stopped him.
"Guys?" Two-Bit hollered from behind the bathroom door, voice slightly muffled. "Hey, is it supposed to burn my-" He suddenly cut himself off in an ear-piercing shriek, one that clearly stemmed from pain. Darry didn't move a muscle, not even when Steve nearly collapsed across the room from laughing so hard.
"Sodapop, can you bring me a cup of coffee?" he called after a moment, his voice completely casual and only slightly louder to be heard over the shouting across the house. "Piping hot, if ya don't mind."