Going It Alone

Chapter Two – Life Moves On

As she got to the precinct, she noticed the cup of coffee on her desk along with a bear claw. Rick had once again thought of her and greeted her morning with his usual offering. She marveled at how considerate her partner is, and wondered if Josh was right about Rick. Heaven knows that she had been considering getting more personal with him despite her initial fear that she would just become another conquest for him. His playboy reputation had not been evident while he was with her. Except for that brief liaison with Ellie Monroe and his renewed hookup with ex number two, Rick's female companionship had been few.

Still, she had seen a side of him that was almost unknown to his fans and the public in general. She had seen how well he cared for his mother and daughter. He had raised a terrific daughter all on his own. Rick like to say it was luck, that somehow Alexis had turned out to be the intelligent and responsible daughter she is despite his influence. Kate knew that was far from the truth. The relationship between father and daughter was strong and deep. They each gave unconditionally and Kate envied that relationship because she had struggled in her relationship with her father. It had gone downhill when her mother died and her father was now a recovering alcoholic. But it took them time and effort to recover what they had lost with the untimely murder of her mother.

Kate wondered that if she were to get intimate with Rick, if they could have the same kind of loving relationship Rick had with his daughter. She had seen something deeper in this man who played the role of the rogue, 'love em and leave em' type to his public. Rick's thoughtful gesture of coffee and pastries in the mornings was just one small way that endeared him to her. There were Rick's constant attention to making sure she ate well and did not skip meals. Nights when they worked a heavy case, he bought dinner. He hid his intent to care for her by buying the meal for the whole team so as to mask his true intent.

No, there was more to Rick Castle then the playboy mantra he displayed for the public. This man had deep caring that he gave to only the people he truly loved. It was this hidden side of Castle that intrigued Kate. She wanted in on that side of him. She wanted more than what she had with him. But Rick was claimed by Gina and she would respect that, just as Rick had respected her relationship with Josh. He had given them their space despite all the banter and sexual innuendos he usually sent her way. Still, once he found out about Josh, Castle had stopped much of this, even though on occasion it came out.

Kate wondered if Rick's feeling for her were far deeper than he showed. She knew that her being with Demming and then Josh had caused Rick to pull back on any attempt for a carnal relationship. She recalls when he first invited her to dinner after their initial case. She had rejected his invitation saying she would not become just another conquest for him. When he said 'it was too bad since they could be great together', she teasingly whispered in his ear that he would never know.

But it was she who wanted to know. Could Rick be the one? Could Rick be her soulmate? She was attracted to him more than what she showed or what she wanted to admit to herself.

She was available now, but he was not. It seemed that their timing was always off and that the universe conspired to keep them apart.

"Kate," she hears Castle say, "how was your weekend? Did you and Josh do any biking this weekend."

"No Castle, to answer your nosey question, we just chilled for the weekend. Josh was coming off a difficult surgery and we just needed to be stress free."

"Well, such are the trials of a surgeon's life. You are certainly grooming yourself for the role of a surgeon's spouse", Rick teased.

She wanted then to tell him he was wrong. She wanted to tell him that she had broken up with Josh. She did not do that, but kept it secret for now. Kate responded to him with her signature glare, the Beckett glare.

"Oh now don't give me that look Kate, you know that I hit the nail on the head. But at the risk of appearing to be more prying, you will make a great doctor's wife,"

"Yes Castle you are prying into where you shouldn't, but then again, I have come to expect it."

Rick responds to her with his eyebrow raise, "Well excuse me for trying to find out if my partner had a good weekend. If not, I was ready to do some emergency cheering up."

And there it was. Rick had somehow sensed her hidden mood from her breakup with Josh. It was uncanny how he could tune into her masked angst and reach out to her in a comforting manner. Rick hid it so well with a tease, but beneath it was a concern for her well being. How could she not want more from him? How could she continue to hide her affection for him. She had not felt that way for any man, not for Wil, not for Tom, and not even for Josh. Only Rick Castle brought out this feeling in her. Was it love? She did not know but she wanted her chance with him. She had to be patient and wait for her opportunity, something she did not do well, particularly when she was interested in a man.

With past boyfriends, it had been easy to let them in only after a brief "courtship". But even then she never truly let them into her inner person. Was that what she feared with Rick? That her feelings were so strong for him that she would let him see her true self. And if he rejected her when he saw how she really is, it would devastate her. She would never recover from that. The only other time she had experienced that kind of rejection was when she'd lost her mother. Maybe this is why she kept Rick at a distance, knowing that if she lowered her wall, she would be all in. She would cash all her chips in a high stake game for love. Kate realized now she was willing to take that gamble with Castle, she just needed opportunity.

"Oh stop it Castle just go and play some game on your IPhone", she tells him.

"All right, I will. Pardon me for being a partner."

"Yes, Castle, let's keep it professional."

"Fine I will then", Rick replies pulling out his cell to play the newest version of Angry Birds.

The day proceeds calmly, not even a body drop. It is a paper work day, but Kate has spent the last 45 minutes writing and rewriting her report on their last case. She had not realized how the break up with Josh had effected her more strongly than she thought. As she looks up at the clock, she realizes it is close to quitting time.

"Hey guys, how about we call it a day", she announces to her team.

"Kate, if you are not doing anything tonight, how about I treat you to dinner at the Comfort Stand. They have that hot Mac and cheese with those dinner rolls. We could have a side of chicken wings with it. How about the rest of you guys, Ryan, Espo, my shout."

"No thanks Castle, I got a hot date", says Espo.

"Jenny is expecting me home, so I will take a rain check", Kevin says.

"Looks like it's just you and me partner. What say you?"

"Mac and Cheese with those tasty dinner rolls, you're on Castle."

Once again Rick had managed to get Kate's mind off her recent breakup and feed her a meal which she surely would have skipped had she just gone straight home. She would have been mourning the fact that she had once again been in a failed relationship with a man she thought was the one. Rick could make her feel so much better with just a meal in his company. He was the best partner ever. God she wanted this man! He was good for her. Josh had been right, she needed to see how it would turn out with Rick.