Chapter 2: What would you do?
P O V: Sylvie Brett
"I hurt Matt, I feel like such a fool. Why wouldn't I ask for a DNA test right away? How could I simply believe this woman?"
"You're not a fool Sylvie, don't even think it." "How can I not?" "Some woman shows up out of the blue and just announces hey I'm your mother! My dumb-ass just believes her no questions asked no proof, just my letter. My God, I am a paramedic, I dated a cop! I should have known better than to take someone at their word; I thought I had matured, gotten street smart. This woman could have taken me for everything! Hell, she took a part of my body."
"She had pictures, Brett."
"Yeah, of her holding a baby, there's no proof it was even me, hell she could have photo-shopped it."
"Brett, you have a pure heart. You want to believe the best in people. There is no harm in that. It's what makes you so unique and so special. It's why I love you." My heart flutters at top-notch speed did Matt Casey just say he loved me? Pushing myself up off his chest, I stare at him completely wiped from the day still in a state of shock. I'm wrong I have to be I'm just confused ever since this morning when Dr. Manning told me the news. I must still be in a daze no way did Matt Casey, my best friend's ex-husband say he loves me.
That's impossible. Matt has never shown any signs of liking me other than a friend. Maybe that's what he meant. He loves me as a friend. We've known each other for a few years now; we work together at hazardous jobs. Firefighters, Cops, Paramedics, we become a family, best friends. Of course, we love each other. God, I am so tired so silly for reading so much into this.
"Brett, are you okay? Do you want some tea? Coffee? I have to start breakfast for the kids anyway; I told Shay to get some sleep before she has to carpool the kids, so dad's on breakfast duty."
The thought of Matt as a dad makes me smile. He's such a good guy; he's wanted kids for so long. "Yeah, some tea would be grand, thank you." I follow him into the kitchen. "Need any help?' "Nope, I'm good, you relax, honey." Honey? He's never called me honey before. Relax Brett; you are so paranoid. It's just the exhaustion causing you to read everything into small details, names that are common synonyms.
"Why was I so desperate, Matt? It's not like I had a bad life; my parents are amazing people. I have two brothers who I look a lot alike; we get along great. They've never shown any difference in their love between myself or my brothers. Juventino is adopted as I am, and Jovan is their biological child you would never know, though."
"Juventino never cared never tried to search even now he could care less he's happy, I use to be like that since when did I start to care?"
"Everyone is different. Brett, your brothers, stayed in Flowerton. They never got out to see the world, to see how different life is outside the country. Maybe coming to Chicago opened your eyes to see that life has many layers. Maybe that made you curious."
"I suppose that could be a theory, Matt. Uh, anyway, so how are the kids?"
Matt's smile lights up instantly as I mention his kids, "Mackenzie and Tobias are freaking amazing Brett, this weekend, they are auditioning for American Honey."
"No way the reality singing competition show that launched the careers of Kelli Clarkson and Carrie Graveyard?"
"Yup, that's the one they've been rehearsing for months, they saved up the money for the registration fee their super confident and excited."
"That's awesome, Matt; I love singing if they ever need any help rehearsing I competed professionally for years when I was growing up."
"Seriously? That's right, you do sing. I remember you sang at the wedding. Excellent, I will let them know; Shay's been rehearsing with them, but they hate listening to advice form Mom, a cool aunt; however, that is totally different."
Both of us laugh as he hands me the tea which I add sugar to "Why don't you sing for me now I could use some cheer." "Are you sure? It's been a long day, aren't you tired, Matt?" "Very, but your voice was beautiful; it may be just what I need to help wake me up till the kids leave for school."
Taking a deep breath, I stand up, shaking out any tiredness and soreness before I close my eyes and focus on what I need to get into the state of mind I need to be. So I am not just singing the lyrics, I am becoming one with them. The emotions need to be heard and felt from up close and in the back. Every person needs to be able to feel them and relate to them.
Help me; it's like the walls are caving in Sometimes I feel like giving up But I just can't It isn't in my blood
Laying on the bathroom floor, feeling nothing I'm overwhelmed and insecure, give me something I could take to ease my mind slowly Just have a drink, and you'll feel better Just take her home, and you'll feel better Keep telling me that it gets better Does it ever?
Help me; it's like the walls are caving in Sometimes I feel like giving up No medicine is strong enough Someone help me
I'm crawling in my skin
Sometimes I feel like giving up
But I just can't
It isn't in my blood
It isn't in my blood
I'm looking through my phone again, feeling anxious Afraid to be alone still, I hate this I'm trying to find a way to chill, can't breathe, oh Is there somebody who could
Help me; it's like the walls are caving in Sometimes I feel like giving up No medicine is strong enough Someone help me I'm crawling in my skin Sometimes I feel like giving up But I just can't It isn't in my blood
It isn't in my blood
I need somebody now
I need somebody now
Someone to help me out
I need somebody now
Help me; it's like the walls are caving in Sometimes I feel like giving up But I just can't It isn't in my blood
It isn't in my blood
It isn't in my blood
I need somebody now
It isn't in my blood
I need somebody now
It isn't in my blood
The words hit me hard; it's not in my blood to quit, no matter how much it hurts or how hard it gets. I'm a fighter I have been my whole life, I may be small, I may be sweet, but I have a toughness inside of me. I grew up on a farm working from early dawn till late into the evening, all while juggling a hectic teenager 's social schedule.
Applause fills the room as I open my eyes to find myself surrounded by Matt, Shay, their twins, Kelly, and Stella. "That was amazing, honey!" Stella and Shay both hug me tightly, "Yo, that was straight fire, Sylvie!"
"Hell yeah, anytime you want to help us rehearse, we are down, right, bro?"
"Fro sure!"
"Dad, I need money for Friday night."
"Why and how much?" Mackenzie rolls her eyes groaning, "seriously dad a little privacy dad, I mean I am nearly thirteen."
"Thirteen is not twenty; Thirteen does not go to work every day and earn a paycheck; thirteen does not pay the rent, who does? Oh, your mother and I, and I assume you asked mom already."
"Tried and failed. Why don't you tell daddy why you want the money, dear."
"Uh, Mom! Stop already!"
"Guess you get no money for your hot date that you ain't going to go on anyway."
"I hate you both, uh; this is so unfair!"
The next twenty minutes are filled with all of us rushing around, grabbing food supplies to make lunches pack book bags hustling young kids out the door. "That was exhaustion I can't believe Mackenzie is a teenager already."
"yeah, and wanting to date, are you ready for that daddy Matthew?" He glares at me as we settle on the couch. "yeah, for some horny rude, inpatient teenage boy to try to grope my barely developed teenager, I got my shotgun and my license all ready."
Both of us laugh, "how about Tobias? Now you have to worry about him dating some horny teenage boy, or being the horny teenage boy who's running from the father with the shotgun."
"Oh, dear Lord, gee, thanks for that image, Sylvie." "No problem."
"You're a good dad Matt besides aren't kids suppose to be woke nowadays? Maybe they've matured and have learned to respect each other."
"You've meet teenagers today, haven't you? They're just as immature and horny as I was as a teenager. Believe me; I know what I was thinking about at thirteen."
"Oh, what was that, Matthew?"
He slides closer to me, taking my hands into his I can smell his aftershave strong and spicy. "I can't see you ever being disrespectful, Matthew." Moving some of my hair out of my face, he's grinning at me, "You don't know me at all, Sylvie Brett."
"So tell me, Matt, what would you have done?"
"I would have taken her by the hands, held you close like this." He pulls me to his chest, which is loud his heartbeat echos inside my ears, luring me into a sleepy state of relaxation. His embrace is warm, making me feel safe, cared for. Our eyes connect all I can think about at this moment is the same thought in different variations. Is he going to kiss me? When will he kiss me? Do I want him to kiss me? Do I want to kiss him? His breath smells minty with a hint of coffee, which reminds me for some reason of thin mint cookies; I sold enough in my girl scouting days.
I want him to kiss me. The thought shocks me greatly. I never allowed myself to think of Matt in that way. Now I can't stop thinking about kissing him, touching him lying in his arms, making love to him.
"Than I would, are you ready for this?"
"Yes, Matt, I am."
"I would look her in the eyes, move closer." He's so close I can feel his breath on my checks, feel his hands resting on my butt as he pulls me into his lap. "I would ask you, Sylvie Brett, would you do me the honor of going on a first date with me?"
A/N: Lyrics belong to Shawn Mendes