Alternate Chapter 16 (Part One)

I moved into the kitchen, intending to get a pad of paper and pencil to start organizing my thoughts. Any wish I made would need to be very precise. My gaze strayed to the unopened presents from the night before, and I decided to take a break from the contemplation of a possible future with Eric to see what everyone had given me.

I started with Pam's, which contained a pleasant perfume, then moved on to Bill's present. The necklace had a cameo pendant that looked very much like my grandmother. I knew I would treasure it and made a mental note to thank him once it got dark. Finally, I opened the one from Sam. I had to read it three times before it sank in - he'd made me a partner in Merlotte's, granting me the legal rights to a third of the bar! I couldn't believe it.

Well, that's one way to get out of repaying the loan, the cynical part of me thought, but I pushed it aside. I was thrilled! Going from employee to part owner was a big step up in the world for me. What would Sam think about me increasing my fae genetics to reap some of the benefits? I wondered. I tried to picture his reaction and remembered how angrily he'd confronted Claude and Dermot when I had confided I felt like my fae essence was increasing from being around them so much. I realized Sam wouldn't be pleased, and that made me hesitate with my plan. I trusted Sam, and if he thought it was a bad idea, then it probably was.

Looking at my watch, I realized I needed to leave shortly for brunch with Kennedy at LaLaurie's, one of the fanciest restaurants in town. The meal and the company were both excellent. Kennedy was over the moon about Danny and eager to share all the details. Danny's new job with Bill was going well and the improvement in his finances made him feel more secure in his relationship. It seemed likely they'd soon be moving in together.

After brunch I decided to go thank Sam for his gift. I drove over to his house and knocked on the door. He's not my boss anymore. He's my partner now, I thought. It felt good to say that to myself. I was practically bouncing in place with happiness, but his expression when he answered the door distracted me. He ushered me inside with a quick look around the parking lot behind me, making sure I wasn't followed. I sat down on the recliner next to the sofa, and he settled heavily into the seat closest to me.

"What's wrong?" I blurted, then realized he knew what Jannalynn had done. I spared a moment to wonder who'd told him, doubting she'd have admitted it herself.

"I'm sorry, Sookie," he apologized bleakly. "I can't believe I dated someone capable of trying to seriously harm you. Twice. I keep getting swept away by my second nature, which has a mind of its own. Callisto was bad enough, but I knew it was a temporary situation, and she would move on once she had her fill. I shouldn't have prolonged things with Jannalynn, once she was no longer in heat, and I knew she hadn't gotten pregnant from our initial endeavors."

I'd been following along with him, about to assure him it wasn't his fault, but he lost me with his last statement. "Wait, what? She was in heat?" I didn't even know that was a thing for Weres, though I supposed it made a little bit of sense.

Sam nodded grimly. "She was fertile during the full moon, which altered her scent to make it more appealing. Even human women secrete different pheromones when they ovulate, which changes their scent, but all the two-natured are particularly drawn together. Animal magnetism, I guess. I picked up Jannalynn's scent in my animal form and followed her without another thought. We had a coupling at dawn, trying to produce a child together, but it didn't take. We tried again each month, since her cycle kept coinciding with the full moon, but now I'm glad it never worked."

My mind was blown. I was having difficulty wrapping my head around what he was saying. "You were trying to have a child with her? I didn't think a shifter and a Were could produce a two-natured child." A long forgotten conversation with Alcide on the way to Mississippi reminded me that they could, even as Sam explained.

Sam shrugged. "The Weres generally consider shifters inferior and vice versa, so it's not ideal, but it is possible. Two pure blooded two-natured parents will produce a two-natured child. In the case of a shifter/Were union, the child could go either way and nobody would know the results until he or she hit puberty and endured the first change. Plus, a child of mixed parentage would only be able to change during the full moon. They wouldn't be able to change at will like a child of two weres or two shifters. There hasn't been much interbreeding in the past, so there's not a lot of information available, but our numbers are all getting dangerously low, putting pressure on those of us who are full bloods to repopulate as much as we can. Even the werepanthers in Hotshot are now open to considering the possibility, seeking to increase the genetic diversity of their pack. That's why Calvin welcomed Tanya with open arms."

I felt a lump rising in my throat as I tried to swallow my disgust, certain I wasn't understanding him correctly. My mind flashed to how I'd felt when Calvin had explained to me the need for all the full blooded werepanthers to do their duty and have children with as many other full bloods as possible. Then I thought about Furnam and Alcide, both doing their duty to the pack right there in front of everyone, attempting to father another young Were to add to the pack. My interest in both Calvin and Alcide had died the instant I knew about their breeding habits, but I had never considered that Sam might be bound by the same rules and customs.

"Are you planning to um, help the werepanthers increase their genetic diversity?" I questioned awkwardly, glancing quickly at Sam's face and then looking away when I saw the answer there. I felt the sting of tears behind my eyes and concentrated on holding them back while he replied.

"According to the shifter message boards I've been reading, the population of two-natured has declined to the point we've actually become an endangered species. We didn't realize it had gotten so bad until we started compiling an internal registry of our own to help fight against the national registry efforts. I feel like it's my duty to do my part to counteract that. Getting together with Jannalynn was part of that, though I knew we'd never become a permanent couple. I'm not particularly drawn to any of the ladies in Hotshot, and can't imagine actually marrying any of them, but once they're in heat my animal side will take over and it won't matter," he explained, oblivious to the horror washing through me. "We'll still be driven to make babies together regardless."

"If you encounter a female shifter in heat, you'll be compelled to mate with her?" I asked, my voice trembling. "Even if you don't like her in human form? Even if you already have a wife and children of your own?"

"Exactly!" Sam replied, patting my hand. For the first time ever, his touch made my skin crawl, and I wanted to wipe it away. "I knew you'd understand."

But I didn't, not really. It had been easy to say 'to each their own' about the others, because they weren't part of my daily life, and I could easily walk away. Sam had been my best friend for years, and learning that he was just like the others made my stomach turn.

"So, tell me what happened last night," Sam suggested.

"I need to use the bathroom!" I yelped, trying to buy time to get myself together after what I'd just learned.

"Oh, sure, uh, down the hall and to the right," he offered sweeping his arm in that direction, looking at me with concern. I gave him a strained smile and dashed to the restroom. I sat on the toilet and forced myself to go, knowing he'd be able to hear. I took that time to try and spackle over the cracks in my composure, as I wondered why it felt like such a betrayal.

Why does it hurt me to learn that he's just like the other two-natured? I asked myself, confused because it felt worse than when I'd given up on both Calvin and Alcide. I reluctantly had to admit to myself that some part of me had considered him a potential life partner, even while I was in love with another man. I thought about the reactions of both Eric and Bill when I'd balked at involving Sam in allowing the vampires to get Jannalynn's scent. They'd indicated my feelings for Sam were more than friendly, and I was ashamed to realize they were right. In fact, if I looked deep within, I knew I had believed Sam would always be there for me in a way Eric would not. I even realized the joy I'd felt when I thought about Sam being my business partner was mainly rooted in the realization we were now equals, which meant I no longer had to adhere to my self-imposed restrictions on not dating my boss.

I had known Sam as human for so many years before I had discovered his status as a supe that I still tended to think of him that way. I'd known the supernatural status of all the other two-natured I'd met as soon as I'd met them, with the exception of Jason who had become a werepanther through being bitten by one. Thus, it had been easier to accept that they were significantly different from me. After I'd learned of Sam's shifter ability, I still mainly thought of him the same way I had before, as my supportive boss and friend. I hadn't really embraced his differences, even when they were glaring me in the face. It's why I thought of him as Dean when he was in animal form. I simply couldn't reconcile the human man I loved with the animal he became. I didn't make that distinction with Alcide or Quinn, both of whom I'd seen in their animal forms. I'd recognized and accepted them in their animal forms in a way I'd never done for Sam.

Now that I knew Sam ascribed to the same rules and culture as the other two-natured I'd known, I had the same issue with him as I'd had with them. There is no way I'd ever be willing to share my husband with another woman. It was hard enough to allow Eric to drink from other women. I would never turn a blind eye to him bedding one. I'd told Quinn I wanted someone willing to put me first, above all others, and that's still what I wanted. I didn't want someone who would feel compelled to have sex with another woman just because she was fertile and smelled good.

I thought back to last night, to my conversation with Eric. He had told me if he turned down the contract, Felipe would make our lives a living hell. At the time, I'd dismissed his statements, because I wanted him to make a grand gesture, to take a stand. Instead, he'd pleaded with me to fix the situation, clueing me into his knowledge of the cluviel dor. I'd thought he wanted to take the easy way out, but Niall had assured me Eric's love was real and had pointed me to a solution I hadn't even considered before. Eric couldn't take a stand, because I was a weak link. He had to protect me, because I was too weak to protect myself.

If I had been a vampire, there would have been no question of Freyda's contract being honored, because the other vampires would have recognized our marriage as valid. As a mere human, I was easily dismissed by the other parties as insignificant. Eric's insistence on upholding our marriage was viewed as an insult, because I brought so little to the union. If I were his equal, powerful in my own right, our marriage would stand. We could fight together. I had been selfish and shortsighted, expecting Eric to fight it all on his own to prove his love to me. I thought about how much I'd hated Victor, to the point of helping plan and execute his death, and realized Felipe would be ten times worse if Eric and I got on his bad side.

I was finally at peace with myself and the decision to align myself with Eric. There was no longer anything holding me back from giving my whole heart to him. I had a love worth fighting for, and I wasn't going to lose it. No more holding back and waffling on the fence for me.

Having made my choice, I washed my face and hands, permanently settling Sam into the friend zone where he belonged. That ship had sailed. Taking a deep breath, I put a smile on my face and returned to the living room to rejoin my best friend and business partner. As I remembered his gift to me, the smile became more natural, and I relaxed.

"Are you okay?" Sam asked me searchingly, his warm brown eyes trying to read mine.

"I'm fine now," I assured him. "Just a bit of tummy trouble."

He nodded, though he seemed a tad doubtful. I launched into a carefully edited description of the past few days.

"Wow, you've had quite a time of it, haven't you?" he exclaimed when I finished. "Not exactly the best way to spend your birthday, huh?"

"Your present was the best of all," I offered with a grin. "I really appreciate it."

He turned red and ducked his head. "Aw, you earned it. You've always been there for me when I really needed it. You deserve it. And it's not like I made you an equal partner."

I blinked. His statement struck a nerve, even though I knew it wasn't intended that way. He doesn't see me as an equal, because I'm only human, and he's had to rescue me too many times . . .

I pushed that thought away and gave him an affectionate grin. "Well, thank you anyway. At least I no longer need to call you boss." He chuckled, like I'd hoped he would, then I moved toward the door. "I've got to get home now," I declared, with a jaunty wave. I needed to work on the wording for my wish.

"Okay, see you tomorrow," Sam replied. I nodded and strolled over to my car, already lost in thought.