South Park, Colorado a redneck town in the mountains. One might find this quaint little town a nice gateway from the bustling crowded city except for a certain resident boy who would beg to differ.
~~*o0o*~~
At the bustling street of South Park main street a tan-skinned black hair boy, who wore a gray jacket, brown shorts, and flip-flops. Walked down the snow-covered sidewalk of South Park. The start of another winter is upon the town and the is just recovering from its first heavy snowfall of the year. The people gathered up to the streets from shopkeepers to volunteers to shovel the snow out to keep the area clear.
Mark watched as they shovel around whilst they chanted.
"And ho ho ho we weave, we ho!"
"As we shovel snow!"
"Frozen balls, coughs, and sneezes. We ignore as we just shovel snow!"
"And a ho ho ho we weave, we ho!"
"We say to no more snow!"
"Salted paths, thawed out ass, we hope as winter pass!"
"What do we do?"
"We say to no more snow!"
"Heave ho! No more snow. And a ho ho ho ho..."
"As... We... Shovel... Snow!"
Mark watched from a distance to all of that, frustrated and clutched his brow can't believe what he just witnessed. "Motherfucker, how the fuck did I end up living in this town of rednecks, again?" He contemplated as he continued to walk down the sidewalk with no particular destination in mind. Only before he reminisced of his past.
'My name is Mark Rivera, 10 years old, 5'2 an inch shorter than the boys.'
'I moved to South Park with my family from the east when I was 4 years old'
'I can still remember the day when I started my first day of preschool in this motherfucking town'
A five-year-old Mark was being dropped off to South Park Elementary in his car, now don't say that mister one day you're going to learn the importance and opportunity of receiving a good education or else you might end up being a low-paying construction worker." His mother told him from the front seat, "That's right son listen to your mother now." His father quipped in. As the car came upon the iconic yellow building.
"But Uncle Jeff said that he didn't have to go to school and he runs the town library!"
"Well, son your Uncle Jeff is a washed-up alcoholic who gets drunk before 12 pm and getting to barfights with the other rednecks." His father said.
"And also that your Uncle Jeff is bounded by the town's old-timey law that forbids him from getting a-. Oh! lookey here we finally arrived. Now I don't want to hear any trouble coming from you mister okay now?" Her mother told him "Huh-uh" Mark reluctantly replied with an eye roll as her mom finished packing his stuff into his backpack. "Now I don't want you getting distracted and go wandering around is that clear? I want you to go straight towards the principal's office and bring her this letter she'll do the rest and guide you towards-."
"Huh, honey?"
"What?"
"He's making a break for it."
"What?!"
And what his father said confirms her mother's fears as during the long lecture Mark managed slipped away noticed and now currently inbound towards the other side of the street. She abruptly gasped "Mark! You better get your ass! RIGHT HERE! Mister!" Her mother shouted earning some of the attention of other parents as she chased after him with his father driving slowly behind him.
Mark looked behind him and saw her fuming mother chasing after him with his father slowly driving towards his direction but his escapee was abruptly cut short when he bumped into someone that knocked both of them into the snow. "Ow." A tiny voice squeaked.
"Oof! Sorry," He apologized quickly as rubbed his sore forehead. "Are you okay Kyle?".
"Yeah, I'm fine." Kyle stood up brushing himself off.
therefore he tries to make a run for it "New kid you've just earned my respect for harming Kyle do five more and I owe you a favor." Cartman said. Mark who couldn't comprehend what he had just said "Uhh. Thanks, I guess?" He said confused, "Shut up fatty." Kyle glared "Don't call me fat you dirty jew!" Cartman retorted.
"Mark Sanchez Rivera Cruz Benigno Alpares! What gave you the idea that running away will solve your problems?! You better get your ass back at school or I will personally see through it that you sleep the entire night on the streets!" Her mother screamed
"That's right young man, now listen to your mother now." His father chastised behind the car window.
"But-"
"No buts! Now come on and I'm taking you to the principal's office even If I have to drag you dare myself" She said grabbing him by the wrist and started pulling Mark to the school entrance with a palm blocking his face from the shame.
The school's parking lot went silent before resuming at its usual activity of parents dropping off their kids who rebelled the idea of going back to the place they call hell.
"Jeez, I pity that new kid." Kenny commented, "Yeah his mom is harsher than my mom." Kyle added in.
"Well yeah, its probably because they're another Hispanic family who moved in the states looking for new opportunities to leach off our great and wonderous country." Cartman sighed " That just shows how the minorities once again threaten the livelihood of the American people."
"Will you stop being racist Cartman."
"Will you stop being a Jew?"
"What?! How does me being a jew relates to your racist, anti sematic speeches?!"
"Nothing." Cartman smugly said before leaving the baffled Jew in the parking lot. "He got your riled up there Kyle," Stan said.
"Shut up," Kyle grumbled, following suit.
[South Park Theme]
Inside the kindergarten classroom, Mark was being introduced in front of the other students, who sat around a round table, by his new teacher Ms. Claridge.
"Okay class we have a new student joining us for the rest of midterm please welcome Mark." She announced clapping "Come up here Mark and introduce yourself." She said as young reluctant Mark got off his chair and went up in front.
"Hello, my name is Mark." He blurted out followed by a long awkward silence. "And?" One of the kids asked. "That's it." Mark walked towards his seat next to a young Butters and sat down ignoring the looks directed at him.
"Hello, a-and welcome to South Park." Butters greeted warmly "Thanks." Mark merely dismiss him "O-Okay." Butter looks down dejected.
"Okay now, class I want you to treat Mark well and make him feel welcome to our-" Ms. Claridge was about to say when he got interrupted "Woah! Woah! Is that it?" Cartman asked.
"What do you mean Eric?"
"Why doesn't the new kid get to tell all about himself you know like his hobbies, likes, dislikes, and stuff!?"
"Does it matter young Eric?" The teacher responded which made Eric frown "Of course it matters how do you expect me to rip on them if I don't have any information on them huh?" This baffled Kyle to no extent "What?"
"I mean do I have to do all the research myself?! Do you have any idea how many candies I have to owe Susan Anderson to give up info?"
The said girl Susan Anderson interjected "Five dollars Cartman."
"Thank you, Susan. You see five dollars! Do you have any idea how many I could bye with that five fucking dollars?" The whole class gasped at Cartman's words "Eric said a no, no word!" Clyde shouted "Eric! We don't tolerate that kind of wordplay in our classrooms!" Ms. Claridge scolded. Eric who realized his mistake tries to rectify his situation "No I didn't I said a-a no, no word! I said uhh... Kenny help me out here." Cartman whispered and Kenny responded in a muffled voice "Butthole.
"Yeah that's right I said butthole not fuck," Cartman said cutely in an attempt to relieve him off punishment.
"Eric!"
"No dude you said fuck- Aw shit!" Kyle tried to intervene but quickly clasped his mouth that made Ms. Clamridge outrage even more "Kyle!" This made Cartman laugh even harder "Hahahaha! Ms. Claridge Kyle said two bad words shit and fuck!" Eric tattletale not really granting him any favor "He said it again Ms. Claridge." Craig said. "Eric! I will not tolerate any foul language in my classrooms! As punishment, you will have to stay inside for recess and think about what you had done!".
"But-"
"No buts mister! I have had it with you about your foul mouth!" The teacher yelled "Yeah!" Kyle cheered which turned the teacher's attention to him "Now don't you think you got away scot-free young Brofloski! You will also serve the same sentence as Eric."
"No!"
"And I will both notify your parents about your behavior." Ms. Claridge said "Aw fuck!"Cartman aimlessly blurted out "ERIC!" The teacher shouted, "My mom is going to kill me..." Kyle solemnly said horrified at the idea with Stan counseling him by the side. Mark who watched the whole scene from the beginning can't think but feel responsible but doesn't care about the chain of events he caused "Does this happen often." He whispered at Butters.
"No." Butters said that made Mark sigh in relief "This happens all the time." Butter said that was the last straw that made Mark facepalm his head into the desk "This is going to be a long day of class" He mumbled muting out the rest of Ms. Claridge's scolding which seemed to have been subsiding.
.
Until Craig flipped the teacher off which brought out the loud scolding.
During recess three students stayed in the kindergarten classroom while the others got to the play outside, this includes Cartman, Kyle, and Craig who sat in front of Mr. Mackey's with a lesson on Foul words which seemed to just bore them out of their minds with Ms. Claridge at the side arms to hips frowning at the three boys. "Now kids cursing is bad mkay. Now after this I expect you to learn the importance of-" Craig did quick one at Mr. Mackey which unfortunately didn't go unnoticed -"Did you just flipped me off Craig?!"
"Hehehehehe" Cartman laughed as Kyle covered his face and sighed "This is going to be a long recess." He moped.
Meanwhile at the snow-covered playground behind the school where kids spend their time during recess. Mark watched as the kids played around the yard from running the boys running around playing tag to girls gossiping on the carousel but at the corner of his vision, he saw the recess supervisor Ms. Idontgiveashit busy chastising two boys for roughhousing to hard on the soft snow ground which made no sense to him. Seeing window the of opportunity Mark quickly went behind playground grounds were some girls were trading kisses for cash which he dismissed as a seemingly normal occurrence in this weird redneck town.
The new kid saw the street on the other side and already he was imagining the taste of freedom. Ever since his first botched escape attempt was thwarted by unavoidable variables long he yearned for freedom. And he was about to make a run for it until.
"Hold on right there!"
"Shit!"
He turned around and saw a girl, whom he recognized was from his class, with long black hair with a pink better perched on top wearing a purple jacket that reached up to her puffy jacket, navy gloves, and trousers. "Aw what now?" Mark sighed "As the class president I order you to stop." She cried out in a squeaky manner. Mark just gave her sideways glanced before continuing to pay no mind to the girl.
"I said stop!" She shouted but her words fell on deaf ears as Mark continued his pursuit of freedom until he was on the sidewalks looking on both sides for any incoming vehicle before continuing. Wendy who saw this ran after him "Please stop! COME BACK NOW!" She shouted panicking as her temper rose. But as always the new kid just dismisses her futile cries and saw no reason for her empty threats.
"C-Come back or else I'll-. I'll Uhmm... Tell on you to MS. CLARIDGE!" She yelled which earned a reaction from the new transfer as he turned around. Wendy put on a smug grin as she saw the reaction from him. Mark with no words crossed the street not even bothering to check for any incoming cars until he was right in front of her.
Wendy seeing a no expressions on his face made her uneasy "That's right now let's go back to the playground before Ms. Idontgiveashit notices our absence-."
"I'm not going to."
"What? What do you mean you're not going to! You're going back or else I'll tell Ms. Claridge!" She said her voice getting higher and higher. "Say that again or I'll hit you." Mark threatened and showed his clenched fist. Wendy gasped and backpedaled "Ahhhh!" She shrieked.
Meanwhile at the playground young Stan and Kenny were just playing when they heard a loud shriek coming behind the playground. "What was that?" Stan asked in a high pitch voice. "I don't sound like a girl being raped," Kenny said through his orange coat.
"Let's be superheroes and check it out!"
"Yeah!"
The bolted to the source of the so-called cries for help. They arrived on the scene of Mark raising his fist at Wendy in a threatening way "Halt there evil-doer! Let fine maiden go!" Stan posed much like a batman would while confronting a villain with Kenny following suit with his own pose "Yeah! Let her go or face justice!"
Mark let out an audible sigh "Look guys I'm don't want to cause a scene here alright I'm just saying girly right here that-." He tried to explain but was cut off when Kenny pushed him away into the snow. "Woohoo!" Kenny cheered "Ow! That hurts?!" Mark screeched as Stan went to Wendy's side "We have saved you fair ma-." He paused as soon as he saw her face. Wendy smiled and faced her savior "Thank you, Stan, for-".
"Blergh"
Stan puked on Wendy's face much to her horror "Ahhhhh!" She shrieked louder than before "Dude sick." Kenny commented clearly amused. Mark seeing the opportunity got up and sprinted away across the street Wendy in a futile attempt tries to call him back "Hey you back-!"
"What is going on here!?" The recess supervisor Ms. Idontgiveashit screeched "Stan puked on Wendy." Stan glared at his friend "Kenny!" The recess supervisor kneeled down and wiped away the vomit from Wendy "Oh you poor dear." She turns and looks at the two boys "You two go back to your classroom right now!"
"Aww..." Stan and Kenny groaned Ms. Idontgiveashit grabbed Wendy by the wrist "C'mon young lady let's get you cleaned up properly."
"But-." Wendy tried to tell her about the student who ditched "No buts now come on!" Wendy watched as his figure disappears around the corner.
"Okay, brats now recess is over back to your class!"
Mark grimaced at the memory. 'So much for first impressions, I got Cartman, Kyle, Stan, and Kenny in detention during my first day. Except for Craig don't know what's wrong with that dude'. The dark-haired boy wearing a gray jacket continued his aimless walked down the street when suddenly a black limousine pulled up right beside him he went towards the back window where it rolled down and revealed.
"Hello, Archivist Mark Lorenzo."
"Good afternoon Mayor Mc Daniels." Mark greeted back as Mayor Mc Daniels opened the door for him "There is an emergency town meeting at twelve come in I'll accompany you there." The Mayor said scooting over to give him some space Mark was hesitant at first. Mc Daniels seeing his hesitation sighed.
"Don't worry young Archivist I'm not going to rape you nor kidnap you we got a police cam mounted right there right next to the mini-fridge."
Mark smiled at this and obliges as they drove off to town hall "So who initiated the meeting?" Mark curiously asked, "I believe it was Randy Marsh."
Mark sighed in exasperation already rubbing his brow in annoyance "This is going to be a long meeting."
[South Park Theme]
At the town hall, all the town council sat around the roundtable with Mayor McDaniels at the center of it all. "All right we hand the floor to our Geologist Randy Marsh. Randy, you may have the floor." Randy got up and faced the council with serious expressions.
"Thank you, Mayor I would like to dress the latest pressing issues that plague our town," Randy said before pausing.
...
...
"And that is?" Ryan Valmer, the father of Jimmy, asked, "Hold on I need to pause for dramatic effect." Randy said making everyone groan in annoyance.
...
...
"Mormons." He finally said with a straight and serious face.
...
The pulling of chairs resonated throughout the room as everyone went for their coats to leave town hall. "Woah! Woah! Now here me up. Please you guys this is a much more serious problem than you'd expect. Just... Hear me out please." Randy pleaded as he blocked the exit. All sighed and with great reluctance hang their coats and sat back down Randy seemingly satisfied went on with his presentation. "Okay now if you take a look at this chart over here. Ahem! Ever since the first of the Mormon families, the Harrisons moved in here last month. There has been a sudden influx of Mormonism entering our town."
"Who?" Mark asked "You know the Harrisons from season 7 episode 12 'All About Mormons'" Randy answered that satisfied the Archivist curiosity "Oh I see."
"So how is this a problem again? If it were me I'd say this is an improvement for this dump of a town." The Mayor inquired "So? In the first month alone 12% of our residency is made up of Mormons if this occurred in the first month what will happen in the future? Do you wanna know how dire the mayhem could be!? How many Elders will knock on our doorstep? I predict that in just 3 months all of South Park will be overrun by cold drink-loving bastards!"
Suddenly the atmosphere in the room became serious. Gerald Broflovski who tried to ease the tension stood up "Look maybe it's not going to be that bad, I mean some of the Mormon families invited me to their house for dinner, and you know those were some of the best dinners I had the atmosphere, the conversation, and oh! Can't forget about the food. We had a nice time that night you know." Gerald said with a smile that made Randy frown.
"Oh, so we have a Mormon sympathizer? You like those cold beverages they served? Brainwashed Americans knock door to door rubbing their religion all our faces! I thought you believe in the old restatement Gerald you plan on converting to Mormonism the so call trilogy, Huh?!" Randy ranted.
"Huh?! What?"
"Sit down Gerald your opinion doesn't matter!" Randy shouted and Gerald obliged confused at the stares directed at him "And what do you propose we do to solve this... Predicament?" The Mayor asked this made Randy sigh "I'm afraid I don't have the answer to help us remedy our problem but I know somebody who".
"And so we have summoned you here to shed light on the matter. Father Maxi." Mayor Mc Daniels said behind her desk as the council moved to the Mayor's office and summoned the town priest, Father Maxi.
"What?"
"You see Father Maxi Mormonism is coming through South Park. More and more families from Alaska and South America are immigrating their way throughout the west coast spreading their words like wildfire-." Randy tried to explain before Father Maxi intervened "So dam Mormons invading our town!?" Maxi cried.
"Well yes, so that's why as the town council we come to you in dark times-"
"Stop! I heard what I need to hear just leave it all to me." Father Maxi said with serious determination as he turned around for the exit "And what will you do about it?" Randy asked as Maxi exhaled "What I failed to do so all those years ago."
*Slam*
And with that, he left leaving the room in silence.
"Wow."
"I call this council meeting adjourned." The Mayor slammed her grovel "Archivist did you record all that?" She asked Mark who was sitting in the corner with a record on hand and pad and paper on the other "Yes Mayor this concludes the 103 council meeting under your term." He said as he stored his recording material into a duffel bag.
"Sweet. Perfect punctual record here I come, unlike a certain previous Archivist your Uncle Jerry who failed to do shit at all just get drunk at every opportunity."
After the town meeting, Mark walked back on his own, many offered to give him a lift but he declined since he preferred to take the scenic route back home. He passed by a glass window displaying an assortment of books he looked up and saw the sign 'Bookstore'. Even though there's a library in the town it doesn't often get updated with the latest literature.
*Jingle*
The doorbell rang as Mark went in the store browsing at the latest books "Oh our valuable customer is back! Are you here for more orders Mark?"
"No Mr. Benedict just here to browse-." He went silent as he picked up a certain book that brought back rare fond memories of his childhood in South Park.
[Flashback]
A month has passed since his first day at school after that day he was so-called grounded by his parents for a week for skipping his first days which is quite a foreign concept for him, not much happened after his first successful escape at school but ever since he was forced to attend school Cartman repeatedly makes fun for him being a so-called minority which baffles him to a extend, while Wendy glared at him behind the back and Stan ogling at her beauty at the side. During those times he manages to make friends with few of his classmates, he is much fond of Butters and Kenny and made friends with some of the students like Clyde, Bebe, Tweek, and Petsuki the one kid always covered in dog shit.
A young Mark wearing the same outfit he wore on his first day of school walked down the main street of South Park rambling profanities about the town along the way.
"Stupid town. Stupid parents. Motherfucking school."
He stopped when an item in the display window of a shop that piqued his curiosity was a green book decorated with a beautiful golden embroidery pattern titled "Political and Ideals of the World" which intrigued the young child who had no concept of any political and ideals of foreign countries except his own. He went into the store.
*Jingle*
"Welcome, how can I help you?" The store owner greeted. Mark walked up the counter as the door opened signaling another customer "Yeah Um-."
*Jingle*
"-Can I buy a copy of the book outside."
"May I get a copy of the book "Political and Ideals of the World please."
Two voices oversaid one another whilst the shopkeep went around back Mark looked over and saw a familiar purple beret wearing girl from his class. Wendy seeing him frowned "What are you doing here?" Wendy asked, "Getting a book." Mark replied in annoyance Wendy let out a snort "Didn't expect a delinquent interested in books." She smugly said, "I'm not a delinquent." He replied. Wendy harumphed "Hmph! Says the one who chickened on his first day." She brought up arms crossed to make her point.
"Shut up!" Mark shouted temper rising.
The shop owner came back with a grim expression on his face. He scratched his neck and broke the news out to the kids "Ah listen here uhh... We only have one copy of the book and it's that one in the front." The news brought a wave of shock to the two "What?!" Both exclaimed, Mark quick on his feet went up the display window and grabbed the book out of its display "Aha! Got it first." Wendy who won't back down quickly snatched it out of his hand. "No, it's mine!" This angered Mark "What no! I got first!" He went for and grabbed the end of the spine. Wendy not wanting to be outdone grabbed on for dear life at the other end "Haven't you heard the saying ladies first!"
"I don't see any characteristics of a lady that applies to you!"
She scoffed "How rude!" Mark pulled in "Besides why won't you just read in the library!" Mark exclaimed, "Because the library is full of pedophiles praying on kids!"
"That's just my uncle!"
"Just let go you dumbass your breaking the book!"
"Why don't you let go, bitch?!"
The shopkeeper who had enough swooped in and took the book out of their hands "Hey!" Both exclaimed.
"Now, now, it's very heartwarming to see the youth passionate in the art of literature and politics but I'm sure we could find a solution to your problem. Hmm... How about you two just share-."
"No!." The two quickly said "Thought so. Hmm... How about a competition to settle on who will get to own the book."
"What?" Mark livid blurted out while Wendy with determination on her face immediately agrees "I'm in".
"So here's how it will go. I will ask you three questions about different topics in literature and whoever answers the most buys the book. Okay."
"Yes," Wendy replied with. Mark waved his arm around "Wait no no no I got here first I got to keep the book. You saw me enter the store first asking about it." Mark argued, "What are you chicken?" Wendy sneered this convinces Mark to do the competition "Oh, you fucking bitch you're going down!"
"Okay, the first question is who wrote the famous book of Hamlet and Macbeth?." Wendy quickly rosed her hands "Yes Wendy."
"The writer of Hamlet and Macbeth is William Shakespeare."
"Nice very good Wendy, can't believe your parents let you read that stuff." The shopkeeper commented. Wendy harumphed at Mark already confident of her win "That's not fair." Mark complained "It is fair you just don't have the brains to know the answer," Wendy said that made the young boy growl. "Okay, next question what's the most famous classic novel in Spain?"
Wendy panicked not knowing the answer. Mark seeing her panicked state smirked and rose his hand "The nobela Don Quixote or Don Quijote is widely considered the most famous classic literature of Spain." He answered that made Wendy frustrated "Of course how could I forget. Stupid!" Wendy quickly looked over her competition and saw him giving her a cocky smile "It's not over yet you cocky bastard!" This made Mark chuckle "Heh. Heh. She said cock."
"Okay tiebreaker. Ahem! What book inspired the killer of John Lennon?"
This confused Mark "Who the hell is John Lennon is!" Mark asked. Wendy meanwhile smirked knowing full well of her victory rose her hand "The Catcher in the Rye!" She answered "Bingo!"
"What!?"
"Yes!"
"Congratulations little lady you won the book." The shopkeep said as he hands her the book "No! That's not fair I'm a foreigner I had a disadvantage!" Mark argued. "All's fair in love and war little boy or in this case love of, books" The shopkeeper said "No! I refuse-" He tried to retort but got interrupted when Wendy got in his face.
"Yes! Yes! Yes! In your face!" Wendy jumped up and down waving the book around and in Mark's face as she went to the counter and turned in the exact amount of dollars to purchase the book. When she turned around to gloat some more.
*Jingle*
She saw Mark silhouette leave the store. Wendy walked towards the window display and saw his dejected figure walking down the main street head's down. Wendy feeling remorse went out.
*Jingle*
Chasing after him before he could cross the street she shouted "Hey!" to get his attention. He turned around and saw Wendy approached him before scowled "What do you want? Came to brag some more?!" Wendy with a kind expression "No. I to apologized." Her apology perplexed Mark "What?" He asked confused "I realized that since your new to this place you couldn't possibly know everything about our culture and art-."
"Yeah obviously," Mark interjected and eye-rolled.
"-And so I came to the idea that your not that of a bad boy after all. You're not like those Goth kids who smoke and skips class or Eric Cartman-."
"Especially not Cartman." He said in between.
"-Your just a boy who doesn't to be a part of the system." This touch a nerved at Mark "Get one with your speech already." He groaned
She exhaled and showed the book in front of him"So my point is, do you want to share ownership of the book?" She asked "What?! But you won." Mark pointed out "Well yeah but looking at your sad form makes think otherwise." She smiled which baffles Mark to no extent since earlier they were hurling insults one another. This gesture touched Mark deeply "I apologize as well for threatening you on the first day." He said rubbing his neck in shame. "It's okay it's in the past. I think we just go on the wrong foot that's all." Mark chuckled at her
He shyly outreached his hands towards her "Friends?"
Wendy smiled shaking his hand with her gloves. "Friends."
Mark smiles fondly at the memory he put the back into its shelf just before the shopkeep Mr. Benedict noticed it "Oooh I remember that book. It was the first time you ever met your little friend." He said.
Mark turns "No."
This turned some gears in Mr. Benedict's head and came up with the conclusion "Oh! I see heh heh. Your girlfriend. Oh! the youth these days." Mark smiled at his mistake once more as he went towards the exit. "Wrong again try next time." This confused the shop keep "Then what?" He said out loud. As Mark opened the front door he finally answered the shop keep's question "My best friend." He said at last before he left.
*Jingle*
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