Enjoy the chaos
Ron and Harry had apparated from George's flat directly to Hermione's front lawn. The house still looked the same as it had before they left. Though now, the lawn was much greener and there was a vehicle in the parking. Hermione's parents' home still looked the same as it did a decade ago, it was simply giving a brighter image than it had in the past, even in the dark.
"Cool, Hermione is home!" Ron grinned. He walked right up and opened the door.
"Hey wait, shouldn't you knock first?" Harry stopped Ron mid entrance.
"Come on Harry, it's just us. It's not like she'll throw us out." He tried to reason. "What's the worst that can happen?"
'A lot... And she might just do exactly that...' Harry groaned and reluctantly followed Ron inside the home.
They took off their shoes and looked around, frames were adorned near the fireplace and the house was so tidy, Harry almost wondered if she owned anything at all other than the necessary furniture. Clutter was non-existent in the entrance, halls and sitting room.
"Shouldn't Hermione have heard us by now?" Harry asked, not wanting to be breaking in and surprising someone they shouldn't. Though, his eyes lingered on the pair of shoes at the door. One was evidently Hermione's, but whose was the other? They were obviously men's shoes by the size and design, but he didn't recognise them. "Ron, what if this isn't just her house?"
"As if she'd ever live with someone without being with them." Ron strained his ears and heard a thud across the hall. He motioned Harry to follow quietly and went up to what seemed to be a bedroom door.
"We shouldn't do this" Harry mouthed. "Invading her privacy." Ron shrugged it off and slowly reached for the door handle, only to freeze slightly at the sound of a moan. Harry grabbed his sleeve to pull him away but Ron acted quicker and opened the door roughly, stepping into the room and freezing the moment his eyes landed on the bed.
When Ron opened the bedroom door, he certainly wasn't expecting to see his older brother in bed with the woman he loved. And he certainly wasn't expecting to catch a glimpse of his brother Fred thrusting into the witch as she clung to him and moaned her lungs out for the world to hear.
Hell, he wasn't even expecting Fred to be anywhere near her house but here they were, mere seconds after the door opened, Hermione now trying to cover her naked form with the blanket and Fred trying to block her from view. It certainly didn't help that Harry was right behind Ron and could see everything going on as well.
Their moment had ceased the exact second they had heard the door hit the wall and a loud string of curse words and the scene had quickly changed to embarrassment and desperate attempts to cover themselves.
"Why are you just standing there?! Out! Get out!" Hermione shrieked, her face and shoulders flushing red. She clutched the blanket tightly and even shoved her face into it.
Harry didn't need to be told twice. He dragged Ron by the collar and pulled him out of the room and slammed the door shut. He pushed Ron, who was still shocked from the entire experience. Harry gladly hadn't seen anything but he'd heard enough. The moans were purer than anything he'd ever heard and the creaking and shriek were enough to tell them that they certainly hadn't expected them.
Even now, he could hear Hermione's frantic words through the door and Fred speaking back, an obvious soothing tone to calm down the woman he'd been caught with.
"What the hell was that, Harry?" Ron sputtered madly, a blush coating his freckled face.
"Well-"
"Has she gone mad?! In bed with my brother! Fred of all people!?" Ron began throwing words around as he let himself plop down on Hermione's couch.
"Alot has changed, you can't expect it no-"
"I didn't expect her to be with—with Him!" Ron pointed back to the bedroom in the other room. Just as Ron was about to continue speaking, the door opened and shut itself again.
"What the hell are you both doing here?" Fred's voice echoed from the hall and his footsteps approached quickly. "Made it a habit of entering people's home unannounced while you were away, did you?" Harry wished it was a joke. He wished that this whole situation was just a game he could forget he ever played.
"What are you doing in bed with Hermione?!" Ron stood up against his brother, who had managed to throw on a pair of pants without a shirt. Ron looked at all the bright red and deep purple marks all over Fred's chest with disgust.
"Excuse me? I think I'm allowed to be in bed with my wife! What do you think you're doing barging in here this late in the evening unannounced?!"
It was like a pin dropped and no sounds came from Ron's mouth. The sound of the clock-hand hitting the hour rang in the room and was the thing to break the silence. Harry had no idea how long Ron just stood there, gaping like a fish, before he spoke again.
"Wife? You're joking right?" Ron laughed. Harry smacked his head silently behind his best friend. He'd caught the glimmering of a gold wedding band on Fred's finger. Looking at the clock, Harry saw that it was right after 10. And he easily spotted pictures of the family all over the sitting room, some were just Hermione and Fred, one was a wedding picture, another was in an exotic location—probably their honeymoon—and one of their trio back at Hogwarts sat at the back of the collection.
None of this was a bluff, Harry had already realised it a while ago. He should have realised it the moment he walked into the house, Ron as well.
"Time to pull the curtains Fred! Joke's over!" Ron continued laughing at Fred's astonished face.
"Did- Did you think time stopped when you left?" Fred asked, honestly hoping for an answer that wasn't yes. "We all moved on with our lives. Look around you Ron, look at the mantle." Fred forcibly turned his brother to face all the pictures beneath the clock. "As you can tell, I'm not lying."
Harry noticed Hermione emerge silently from the room, a bathrobe tied and her hair put in a messy bun, but Ron hadn't noticed a thing.
"That's a lot of effort you put in. Really hilarious. As if she'd ever chose you." Ron continued, missing the look Hermione was giving him from the dark hall.
"Chose me? Is that how you're going to phrase that?" Fred raised a brow. "Tell me, why wouldn't she?"
'Don't answer, don't answer!' Harry pleaded Ron in his mind. The look Fred gave him was a challenge. A challenge to see if he'd say even one word.
"Yes Ron. Why wouldn't I ever choose Fred?" Hermione asked, stepping into the room and leaning against the wall, expecting Ron to answer her.
Before Ron could open his mouth, Harry shoved his hand over Ron's mouth and spoke instead. "We're sorry! We weren't expecting things to go down like this. We'll leave and talk in the morning, alright?"
Fred looked at Harry, then to Ron who looked as his he was about to sputter more crap. "Smart man. Ron you should listen to him." Fred uncrossed his arms and ruffled his messy hair and yawned. "Have a good night Harry." He turned to leave and go join his wife once more.
"What am I? Dirt?"
"As of about fifteen minutes ago, pretty much." Fred muttered just loud enough for Harry and Ron to hear without turning to face them.
To stop Ron from throwing another fit, Harry dragged Ron outside the door and shut it behind him. The moment the door shut; Fred had re-joined his wife's side at the wall.
"Absolutely unbelievable." She muttered, shaking her head disappointingly. "And while we were—" Her blush grew and she buried her face into Fred's chest. "I'm so embarrassed!"
"Go run the bath, I'll join you in a minute." He kissed her cheek as she nodded and walked down the hall.
When Hermione was out of view, Fred began silently cursing under his breath. 'The nerve of that guy!' He squeezed his fist continuously "Gone for two damn years and this is how he says hi?" He walked to the kitchen and splashed cold water in his face before patting it dry and going to the fridge, pulling out a bottle of red wine and grabbed one of the large lavender scented candles from the drawer. He tucked it under his arm and picked two wine glasses from the cabinet and shook the anger from his mind before going back to the bathroom where Hermione was waiting for him. 'Why couldn't they pop over in the morning instead...'
The moment Harry and Ron apparated away, Ron started rubbing his eyes and groaning as if he had the worst headache imaginable. "Rub my eyes with bleach! That was disgusting!"
"It wasn't that bad Ron..."
"Easy for you to say, you didn't see your brother's hairy ballsack."
"But... It wasn't hairy..."
"Harry!"
"Sorry!"
"How did you even know? Why were you looking there?!"
"Why were you!?" There was a short silence between the two as they made disgusting expressions at each other from the experience. They certainly hadn't expected to see... that... at all. A horrible coming home surprise, you could call it. "Hey... How did we not notice that Fred doesn't live with George anymore? It should've clicked. If you find one, the other usually isn't far."
"Maybe... Maybe George sent him as a way to play with us! He knew we were going to Mione's! He could have sent Fred ahead and planned this entire thing!"
It was then that Harry knew that this would be a long... long... night.
Should i make it slightly crackey? Very crackey? Or just keep it as regular to a story as I usually do?
I hope you all enjoyed the chapter! The updates will be on wednesdays
And don't forget, commentary helps the creative juices flow~