Cat had always wanted something exciting to happen in her life.
Caleb may have found excitement in his books and his tv shows, but that had never been enough for Cat. She could never sit still and twiddle her thumbs, waiting and waiting until something happened. It felt like ants, sometimes, crawling under her skin, urging her to move. She got into fights, got bloody knuckles and bruised eyes, but at least she felt alive. She wouldn't change anything she had done - anyone she'd punched had rightfully deserved it, from the kids who picked on Caleb when he came out, to the men who put roofies in drinks.
She wasn't expecting the challenge that would come with what had happened to her and Caleb. How could anyone prepare for being tossed into a world that was so wildly different from their own?
Instead of feeling excited and ready to face the world, Cat actually felt rather sick. The knocking at the door had sealed that feeling in the pit of her stomach, the nausea she felt rising. She forced it down mentally, tilting her head up slightly.
Just as she suspected, even though he was smaller than her, Thorin was full of regality and seemed to tower over her. There had been jokes about his majesty back home, but truth be told, Thorin was majestic, even with little to no effort upon his part to amplify that. He was important, and the way he held himself showed that he knew it. That attitude had earned many a man a black eye from Cat, but she knew Thorin was important, and not in the way those back home had believed themselves to be. He was a king, a ruler, one to reclaim a homeland, and Cat could understand why he would hold himself as such.
He was hope, and had to believe it, otherwise others would not.
"Gandalf, I thought you said this place was easy to find." If anyone else had said the words, Cat would have expected light humour in their voice. All she heard was severity, an unimpressed look crossing the king's admittedly handsome face. "I lost my way - twice. I would not have found it if you had not marked the door."
"Mark?" Bilbo's question came out as an indignant squawk and Cat bit the inside of her cheek so she wouldn't laugh at it. "There is no mark on that door, it was painted a week ago!"
"Sorry, Mister Baggins, but there was a mark." Caleb spoke up, sounding truly apologetic. "I believe a certain wizard may be responsible for that." Angry green eyes turned to Gandalf, who looked resigned.
"He is correct - I put the mark there myself." He continued before Bilbo could truly yell at him, a thing that sorely disappointed Cat - she would have loved to see the Hobbit yelling down a man who was over two foot taller than him. "May I introduce the final and most important member of our company, Thorin Oakenshield." Cat was relieved that he announced Thorin as the most important - after all, he was, and it downplayed the fact that she and Caleb were quite possibly the odd ones out of all gathered.
It would be brought up soon enough, and she was ready to bluff her way through the explanation if need be.
Thorin stepped forward, almost nose to nose with Bilbo, who tilted his head up slightly, almost defiant. Icy blue eyes surveyed the curly haired hobbit, and Thorin hummed.
"So. This is the hobbit?" He murmured consideringly, before raising his voice slightly. "Tell me, Mister Baggins, have you done much fighting?"
"Pardon?" Cat felt herself wince internally at that, as Thorin began to circle the hobbit, a wolf inspecting his prey.
"Axe or sword as your weapon of choice?" Was the next question out of his mouth as Thorin came to stand in front of Bilbo, who was looking rather stricken, but then he seemed to gather his wits and responded.
"I do have some skill at conkers." He responded primly. "Though I do not see how that is relevant."
"As I thought." Thorin sounded amused, but not kindly so. "He's more a grocer than a burglar."
Cat felt a hot flush of anger rise in her as laughter came at that comment, saw Bilbo shrink back as though stung. She could feel Caleb put a hand on her shoulder, a warning, but she shook it off.
"I would not be so quick to disregard the skill required to play conkers, Master Oakenshield." Eyes turned to her, and Cat raised her chin slightly, shaking hair out of her face. She heard Caleb sigh, remove his hand from her shoulder. Thorin frowned, opened his mouth as though to question their appearance which was fair enough, but Cat cut over him. "Concentration, for one. Strength when it comes to breaking the other conker, the ability to aim it at the weakest point. Hone those skills, refine them - I'd say a dagger or a small knife would be more suitable for Master Baggins than a sword or an axe, as you so callously suggested." She could feel Thorin getting angry, hear the mutterings and murmurs and felt herself smirk. "And even then, Master Baggins is small enough to sneak by people without being noticed, get in close - and I know that a kick in the groin or a punch to the nose can be just as effective at disabling an enemy as a sword to the gut. Less messy, though." She folded her arms and raised an eyebrow. Thorin opened and closed his mouth a few times, as though she'd actually made him speechless. Cat felt pretty proud of herself for that, and when Thorin turned to Gandalf to demand why she and Caleb were here, she managed to nod slightly at Bilbo, who was staring at her wide eyed and almost grateful.
"I have sought out two more companions, Thorin, who have knowledge that will be most beneficial to your quest. You have already had an...ah...discussion with Miss Catherine Adams. The other is her brother, Master Caleb." Caleb tilted his head in acknowledgment and Thorin snorted derisively.
"What knowledge do they have that you do not, Tharkun?" Thorin asked, voice skeptical. "They are much too young - barely out from behind their mothers skirts."
"This woman, just out from behind her mother's skirts, managed to render you speechless." Cat retorted hotly, and she heard Caleb groan loudly. "Do not believe me to be naive to the harshness of the world, Thorin Oakenshield, just because I haven't seen dragon fire."
"Catherine…" Caleb's voice had taken on that warning tone that would terrify Cat if she knew she had taken something too far. The use of her full name this time around caught her attention, more than the tone, and she backed down as gracefully as she could. This merely meant taking a step back to stand at her brother's side. He placed a hand upon her shoulder and squeezed slightly in thanks. "I believe we have more important matters to discuss at the moment, anyhow. You will find out our use during said discussion and possibly on the road. I would apologise for my sister's manners, but it would be empty, as I'm sure she doesn't feel sorry about it at all." Cat heard a snort turn into a hasty cough, and had to bite the inside of her cheek to stop herself grinning. "We have all eaten, I believe, aside from Master Oakenshield - so if we set to sort that out, we can discuss the quest, yes?"
It appeared as though Caleb had dumbfounded most of the dwarves, but his suggestion was obviously the most sensible one and they all shuffled back into the room they had eaten in. Cat and Caleb resigned themselves to slouching against the walls of the hobbit hole, watching as Thorin dug into the bowl of stew Bilbo had placed in front of him as though he hadn't seen warm food in days.
"The meeting in Ered Luin." Balin began to speak as soon as Thorin had finished his food, and the king turned to face the older dwarf. "I trust they showed up?"
"Yes. Envoys from all seven kingdoms." Thorin's voice grew quiet then, brows furrowing. "None will come. They say this quest is folly, and ours alone." There were sounds of discontent from all dwarves gathered and Bilbo's brows furrowed.
"I...I know there is a quest but I'm afraid I know little to nothing about it." The hobbit flushed when eyes turned to him. "If you're invading my home to discuss whatever this is, I think I have the right to know at least a little."
"He makes an excellent point." Caleb said, straightening himself. "If you wouldn't mind, Master Baggins, we could use a little more light? I believe Gandalf can explain better than I what, exactly, this quest will entail." Bilbo blinked, startled, but scurried off to find another candle as Gandalf unfolded the map he had with him.
"Far to the east, lies a single solitary peak." Gandalf murmured, drawing his finger over the map to rest upon the depiction of Erebor on the parchment.
"The Lonely Mountain." Bilbo read, raising an eyebrow. "Apt, I suppose, considering how there appear to be little to no other mountains nearby."
"It has another name - Erebor. Our homeland." Gloin spoke up. "Oin has read the portents, and the portents say it is time."
"You're basing the correct time to fight a beast based on portents?" Cat raised an eyebrow. "No offence meant to your ways, but...it seems a bit of a stretch."
"It has been written as such for ages - when the birds of old return to Erebor, the reign of the beast will end." Oin said. Cat still thought it was a stretch, linking the migration patterns of birds to the downfall of a fire breathing monster, but decided to not get into an argument regarding that opinion.
"...Sorry, but I've heard a lot of talk about a beast." Bilbo piped up. "What, exactly, are you talking about?"
"That would be Smaug. Chiefest and greatest calamity of our time." Bofur stated which Cat supposed was true. She knew too little about the history of Middle Earth to comment otherwise. "Air borne fire breather. Teeth like razors, claws like meat hooks." He seemed to be on a roll with his description. "Extremely fond of precious metals -"
"Yes, I know what a dragon is." Bilbo retorted sharply and God, Cat decided she would protect that fussy hobbit with her life.
"I'm not afraid." Ori stated, getting to his feet. Honestly a dwarf in knitwear didn't look intimidating at all, and if Cat remembered correctly he was a scribe. Not a warrior. "I'll give it a taste of the Dwarvish iron, right up it's jacksey!" This caused the dwarves gathered, aside from Thorin, to roar in approval even as Dori yanked his youngest brother back down into his seat.
"It would be a difficult task with an army, and we number...fifteen." Balin has paused, seemed to include Cat and Caleb in his calculations, which earned him a glare from Thorin. The older dwarf ignored the look completely.
"We may be few, but we're all fighters!" Fili spoke up, voice full of confidence and power and a little bit of bravado. It took Cat a second to remember that Fili was Thorin's heir, and it showed when he spoke. He had a thread of authority to his voice, though he had less of the terrifying, oppressing tone his uncle spoke in. Instantly, Cat preferred Fili to the leader of the company. "To the last dwarf!"
"And we have a wizard in our company - Gandalf will have killed hundreds of dragons in his life." Kili pointed out, leaning eagerly towards the wizard. Caleb let out a snort.
"Considering the number of dragons that have been sighted in Arda, including Smaug, numbers seven, I doubt Gandalf had the opportunity to kill hundreds." He pointed out. "However, Smaug is the most powerful of this age, and the others have been slain. That leads to the conclusion that, though powerful, he can be killed."
"How do you know so much about dragons?" It was Bofur who asked this, an eyebrow raised skeptically, and Caleb rolled his eyes.
"I read." Was his reply, and honestly, Cat was very proud of that technically correct and concise answer. "There is a lot of lore about them if you know where to read - an ancient fable states that if you eat the heart of the dragon and survive the poisonous blood, you will know all the tongues of the land. They have the ability to hypnotise certain people, though the best way to answer any questions is using riddles and clever words. The weakest point is the underside, if you can get that close, which will be a feat in and of itself."
"We must reclaim our homeland, and the treasure that lies within." Thorin stated. "If we have seen the signs, then others will have too. They will be assessing the risk, and what they have to gain from it. We must leave, and soon, before it becomes too late."
"That would be fine, if the front entrance was not sealed." Balin reminded gently, and Thorin's entire being seemed to deflate. "There is no way into the mountain."
"Which seems like a major oversight." Caleb pointed out, eyes flicking towards Gandalf. "And surely, there is more than one way to enter the mountain, as well as leave it if need be."
"You would be correct." Gandalf said and, as if by magic, produced a key. Thorin stared at it, eyes wide, as though he had been gifted something that he believed did not exist.
"How did you…?" Thorin trailed off.
"It was given to me by your father for safe keeping." Gandalf said, passing it to Thorin who held onto it tight. "Now I pass it on to you."
"If there's a key…" Kili trailed off, eyes suddenly growing alight. "Then there's a door! Another way into the mountain!"
"It will be a task and a half to find the door." Balin said, though not unkindly. "Many dwarven doors are invisible."
"Well, there must be a hint, right?" Cat hated to see most of the dwarves deflate at that reminder, and forced cheer into her voice. "Nothing that is supposedly lost stays lost forever. You...retrace your steps, or have a sudden moment of clarity. Or your mother decided to move your stuff without asking -"
"I think they get the point, Cat." Caleb rolled his eyes, before peering over to look at the map. "Huh."
"Huh?" Bofur raised an eyebrow. "Huh what?"
"'Huh' meaning why is there a very neat gap just below the marking of The Desolation of Smaug?" Caleb tilted his head slightly, squinting at the map. "Look at it - there's trees dotted around the place, nothing is left blank except for a lovely spot perfect for some more writing."
"You think it's hidden?" Bilbo spoke up finally, flushing a bit when eyes turned to look at him. "It's a fun thing most fauntlings do - write something down with a wax candle, paint over it to reveal the message. Something like that?"
"Maybe." Cat hummed. "Can't heat also reveal it somehow? Like, use apple juice or vinegar?" She'd done it for a science project back when she was very little, making invisible ink. What could she say - spy movies always had a special place in her heart, and what was more spy like than hidden messages?
"It'll be a little more dignified than that, I think." Thorin commented, before a realisation struck him. "There is an ancient language, usually hidden. Moon runes. I cannot read them, unfortunately, but that might be what is used to hide the message."
"So then we find someone who can read them, and we can get in." Fili was grinning now, eyes alight with a fierce joy. "Uncle, it's a possibility - we can actually reclaim Erebor!"
"There's still the matter of a dragon." Dori pointed out. "And what we are actually looking for in the mountain."
"That's why we need a burglar." Ori agreed.
"Yes. A very good one at that - an expert, even." Bilbo murmured, almost absently.
"Well, are you?" Gloin said, and Bilbo blinked, startled.
"Am I what?"
"An expert."
"An ex - oh no. No no no no NO." Bilbo made a gesture with his hands, eyes wide and shaking his head emphatically. "I am NOT a burglar - I have never stolen a thing in my life!"
"I'll have to agree with Mister Baggins." Balin said. "He's hardly burglar material."
"Smarter than you lot, though, isn't he?" Cat spoke up, a comment that made many dwarves voice their outrage. "He came up with the hidden message idea, didn't he? And I mentioned earlier he's small, quieter than a dwarf. He has a better chance of getting into the mountain without a dragon noticing. Not to mention he's a Hobbit - Smaug won't recognise the smell, right?" She shrugged. "Anything - fighting or...or defending himself - can be taught on the move. You'll need him."
"Who will train him?" Dwalin snorted derisively. "You?"
"Was that a challenge?" Cat said, and she heard Caleb mutter an 'oh no' under his breath, staring up at the ceiling as though praying for divine intervention. He received none, so Cat continued. "Because I will. I may not wield a battle axe or a great sword, but I can and will punch you."
"Please don't." Caleb pleaded. "I'm so tired of you deciding to punch your way in and out of problems. Try fucking talking."
"You just swore in the presence of a king." Cat pointed out.
"I doubt he fucking cares." Caleb muttered in response, earning a snort from a few of the younger dwarves. "Can we just...not start a fight, for all that is good and holy in this world? It's too late and, if my suspicions are correct, we'll be leaving in the morning. Yes, we." Caleb shot Thorin a look, and the king hesitated, before nodding slightly in agreement. "So we should put Mister Baggins' house back to rights and rest, at least. Without starting a fist fight - yes, Catherine, this means you."
"Well," Cat began, slightly miffed. "you're absolutely no fun."
XoooX
Cat found Bilbo outside.
She had stepped out herself to resist the urge she had to kick some dwarves in the shin when they made comments against Bilbo. She'd grown protective of him in the short time they'd known each other - she couldn't help it. Cat had always rooted for the underdog, and these dwarves had singled out Bilbo as one.
Besides, Cat liked Bilbo. He was smarter than anyone gave him credit for, and his tongue was wicked even if he played the role of a gentleman...gentlehobbit. Whatever the term was.
"Kicked out of your own house, huh?" She said, and Bilbo startled slightly, turning to look at her. In one hand was his pipe, and he sighed, releasing a surprisingly sweet smelling smoke.
"Why is it that Gandalf thought sending me on this...this quest was even an option?" He stated bluntly. "You've seen all the dwarves in there! They're so much...more than me." He gestured to himself furiously. "And then there's you and your brother - I saw your weapons, your clothing. You're adventurers. I'm just Bilbo Baggins."
"And you, Bilbo Baggins, are more than you think." Cat said in response. "You held your own against a king for a good while, would definitely have yelled down a wizard if you weren't interrupted. Sure, you have no experience with a weapon, but so what? A sword will help keep you alive, yes, but most of the time you will be running. Wits and cleverness will keep you safe, on your feet." She paused. "Also, punching someone in the face can be a great way to lower their self esteem."
"You thought I could be...trained?" Bilbo looked skeptical, but Cat nodded enthusiastically.
"Sure. Anyone can be taught. I'm gonna have to teach Caleb how to throw a proper punch. He's more a books and knowledge is power type. There's nothing wrong with that, but sometimes you're going to have to fight, especially when you're off adventuring."
"Surely there isn't much to throwing a punch?" Bilbo said and Cat grinned.
"Throw a punch. Imagine that it's Thorin's smug face - that might help." She winked and Bilbo let out a laugh.
"You're joking, yes?"
"No. Seriously. I'll talk you through how to throw it better." She said, and Bilbo did as asked, flinging his fist forward. Cat tutted. "Your thumb is on the inside of your fist. That'll break some bones. Curl it like this." She made a fist, thumb on the outside of her middle and forefinger. "And keep it straight with your forearm, could sprain your wrist if it goes wrong."
"Seems more dangerous than actually getting punched." Bilbo said, making Cat laugh. "How do you know all this, anyway?"
"Got into a few back alley fights. Sometimes, people are horrible, and something has to be done. Even if I shouldn't be the one having to do it."
"So, thumb over my fingers." Bilbo didn't ask another question, which Cat was grateful for, and he mimicked her fist. "Anything else?"
"Non dominant hand close to your chin when your other is raised." Cat mimicked the position. "If someone tries to hit your face, that will stop it. Also, for more power, keep your non dominant leg behind you, feet beneath your shoulders. Throwing power is all from the lower body, contrary to popular belief, so you want to have a good, steady stance. I know you won't always have the time for that, though. Just remember the hands, mostly - thumb outside your fist and non dominant close to your chin. Don't want a punch to your nose or to break a bone in the midst of punching someone." She mimicked a punch thrown into mid air. "Bring your dominant hand closer to you after. Keep your punch straight for more power. And voila, Thorin now has a black eye." She winked and Bilbo managed a grin, and mimicked the punch she had previously thrown. "And a broken nose. Not bad for a Hobbit."
"I feel like that is an insult and a compliment mixed together."
"Nah, it's all a compliment." Cat retorted. "Nothing wrong with being a Hobbit. You're all growing things and the comforts of home. It's nice."
"Not very heroic, though, is it?" Bilbo shrugged. "You hear the stories, the tales - none of them are Hobbits."
"Most of them are elves." Cat wrinkled her nose slightly. "Most of them are men. Defy the odds. Prove to them that Hobbits can be just as great as any dwarf or elf."
"And that a woman can throw a punch that can knock even a man down." Bilbo added and Cat grinned.
"Now you're getting it, Mister Baggins." She placed a hand on his shoulder, squeezed slightly. "Ready to head back in?"
"As I'll ever be." Bilbo decided. "And it's Bilbo. You can call me Bilbo."
"And you can call me Cat." Cat replied. "Please, call me Cat. If I get one more Miss Adams I might riot."
"Try to riot outside." Bilbo said, turning and heading back in, Cat at his side. Inside, he put on a determined face, stalking over to Thorin head held high. For a second, Cat thought he was going to punch Thorin, and Caleb must have noticed her grimace, because he was over at her side within seconds.
"What did you do?" He hissed, and Cat raised a hand to quiet him as Bilbo tapped the dwarven king on his shoulder. Thorin turned, his face going from annoyed to startled when Bilbo held out a hand.
"I don't suppose you still have that contract?" He said, voice decidedly pleasant. "I rather think I could do with an adventure. Yavanna knows you'll need some common sense, and I appear to be the only one with an abundance of it." Cat felt her lips twitch as Thorin stared, slack jawed, at the Hobbit who had previously had a breakdown at the word 'incineration'. "Well?"
"Laddie, I said it once, and I'll say it again - you won't last five minute out your front door." Dwalin said and Bilbo turned to face him, a sickeningly sweet smile plastered on his face.
"Well, then. Guess I'll have to prove you wrong, won't I?"