s. arias
5. It was probably nothing but it felt like the world.
A week has gone by since Alex's departure. There's a shift in the air between her and Ruby – a little less laughs and a lot more sadness.
They are walking in the sand along a river in Montana. Ruby kicks some of it up with her toes, hands shoved in the pocket of her jeans. She's had this permanent frown on her face since the day Alex left.
"You miss her, huh?"
"She was there for me," Ruby immediately answers, and Sam mentally cringes because she already knows what Ruby isn't saying.
When you weren't.
Ruby looks up at her and takes Sam's hand in her own. "It's okay, mom. I know you were just trying to keep me safe while you got better. Alex helped me get through it."
Of course she did.
There's an energy that surrounds Alex. It makes people feel safe, and comfortable, and she'll push herself to the fullest for other people's happiness and protection. Alex is a healer of sorts; this Sam is sure.
"We'll see her again," she vows like it is a promise, like it is fate. Her arm comes to rest over Ruby's shoulders, bringing her in closer as they make their way through the sand.
Ruby grins halfheartedly up at her, "I know."
"What do you want the most in this world, right now?"
"For you to be happy."
She's the sweetest person Sam knows. Not because she's her daughter, but because she's genuine and selfless and Sam smiles, because she's done a damn good job at guiding her.
"Yeah, well you make me happy."
"Alex does too," Ruby says smoothly, empathetically. "You've changed since she left."
Sam thinks of Alex's strength. Of her laugh. Of the way her lips felt. Sam thinks of Alex's courage. Of her loyalty. Of the amount of protection she doesn't hesitate to provide for Ruby. Sam thinks of just being with Alex.
Yeah, Alex makes her happy and a change did shift disturbingly in her gut when Alex walked out of the motel room and back in to the world of being a sister and an agent.
They wouldn't be much to most people.
There were no epic declarations of love, no moment where they fucked. There wasn't any clarity other than the key that burns in her pocket, but with each mile that passed during the trip, Sam fell ever so slightly in something with Alex Danvers. The story has been slow, and neither talked about what this was. The both of them stayed silent as it just grew and grew. Now Alex is miles away. Alex didn't say it was something, but the look in her eyes when she left made Sam believe it was everything. Alex just might love her back - that's what Sam thinks this might actually be, but for now Sam is back going through the motions.
It was a difficult choice to stay behind, but she knows what she can handle right now and she just needs a little more time. Not a lot of time, this she is sure of. National City is still her home, and she will return. The thought of running from there is no longer what she wants on any level whatsoever.
In a world full of possibilities the two of them may be nothing, but Sam holds tight to the key in her pocket and hopes that Alex will still be there waiting for her; ready for her like she so desperately wants to be ready for Alex.
a. danvers
6. There is so much stubborn hope in the human heart.
The Arias household is dark. Empty, Alex thinks, but she stumbles up the porch steps only to stop and sit on the top one.
She has been drinking since two that afternoon. She hasn't drank this much since she decided that adoption was her option.
That topic is consistently on her mind, because after months of being without Maggie she thought having a child on her own was her best chance to take the leap on her biggest wish. It could still be, but there is something that feels wrong with wanting that right now when she's three quarters of a bottle of whiskey deep; something that feels wrong about thinking of a family when she swears she could already have one.
She is a little disappointed with her own actions, but she hasn't heard from them since she left, and fuck, she just misses them. She had selfishly hoped that Sam would turn her phone back on for her, or, at least, that Ruby would stay in contact during the remainder of their trip, but her phone has been empty of them – all attempts of contact have gone unanswered. Her instincts - the ones she's had since before an agency, since birth – that she has relied on, followed, and promised herself to never fail, reassure her that it's fine. Those instincts aren't set on fire and screaming at her to follow through with all that government training of coming up with a plan and executing any action necessary to confirm their safety. No, wanting to hear from them has nothing to do with concern that they are in danger. Her heart just aches for contact with them.
She doesn't know which weighs heavier. When she broke up with Maggie, or when she left the Arias women behind. Maggie was a difficult choice, but it is clear that the Arias family is something special to Alex in a way her ex never could be. To be fair, Sam can never be special in the way that Maggie is. Sam isn't her big gay realization. Sam isn't her first love. It doesn't make Sam and Maggie less or more than the other. Two completely different women with two completely different lives and the occupants of two completely different sides of Alex's heart.
Alex adores Ruby, and she really likes Sam. They'll be back. Sam's words of "not yet" repeating in her head, but she wants it to be someday soon.
The sound of a car alarm going off awakens anyone within a couple of blocks radius.
There's a pounding in her head, a hard, uncomfortable surface underneath her body. Her eyes open, and it appears that the porch of the Arias home was her bed for the night.
Drinking alcohol is by now her most accomplished extreme sport. She's a pro, but yesterday was hard and maybe she over did it this time. The aches in her body, the nauseous wave that rolls through her stomach, tell her the same story as the thought.
She told Sam once, sitting by a fire underneath the stars of Louisiana with Ruby asleep in the vehicle, that the day after drinking was always the saddest. Each time she'd get overwhelmed with the sudden urge to just give up. With moving on - living on. It's been this way for as long as she can remember. Since, well since the very first day after. She told Sam after all this time she thought it would just go away.
It hasn't.
She keeps drinking because it can be fun, and because it helps (in a unhealthy way), and because sometimes she just needs to have a moment to release the ties knotted to her heart.
The need for some greasy food and some orange juice is her first need of the day. She groans and gets up to start walking down the pathway, back the way she came last night.
It's the ringing of her cell phone that snaps her back to the now with a little startled jump. She can almost hear the jokes about being a badass agent that is fearless until she encounters the surprise attack of a ringtone. Ruby and Sam would be giving her so much shit with matching grins on their faces. She can even see Maggie's dimpled smile in the back of her memories. She answers the call before that thought process can go any further. She didn't even check to see who it is.
"Danvers," she speaks directly, waiting for a response.
The line remains silent, but she can hear breathing. It's odd, and almost creepy. When she checks the number, it's Ruby, but she knows full well that the girl would have said something already. Her footsteps come to a halt.
"Sam?" she says gently, quietly like she might spook them.
She hears the hitch in the person's breathing, and is certain that she has it correct. She doesn't know why Sam isn't talking, but the moment seems fragile; maybe she doesn't want to break it. There's a sniffle on the other end and Alex knows she's crying.
Alex could think of a number of different reasons why Sam would be crying, but with no verbal response from the woman – no explanation as to why – her choice of words are restricted.
"Are you okay?"
Nothing. Not even a simple hum to confirm or deny, and this is the moment she starts to feel a little uneasy about who actually is on the other side. Until –
Until a voice, familiar and comforting, is heard in the background saying good morning and asking for her phone back.
Ruby.
She knows this call is almost over. She knows that the woman on the other line is Sam and when they hang up it could be weeks before they are in contact again. She wants to say so many things, force a thousand words into ten seconds. Instead, she says, "I'm still here."
Nothing.
There's a click and the line is disconnected. She thinks about calling back. She doesn't. Maybe she's afraid to push something so unsure. Maybe she's afraid of being rejected.
Hope though, hope happens to stay with her long after the call has ended.
When she gets home, she pours the remaining bottles of alcohol down the drain.
The place is crowded when she enters.
She takes a seat at her normal booth, waiting for Kara to show up. A quick call, and a request to meet, has her fiddling with her fingers impatiently. She thought it over thoroughly before making plans. She wants a drink so, so bad, but that is in fault of her nerves on high alert. Honestly, she shouldn't be as nervous as she is. If anyone were to support her choices, Kara is automatically person number one.
"Alex!" Kara exclaims, sliding into the booth seat directly across from her sister. "I'm so sorry I'm late."
"Relax, Kara. It's only a minute past."
"Right," she says, adding a calming breath. She straightens up her glasses, and looks at Alex with curious blues eyes. Still, Alex can tell a part of her isn't there.
She asks before Kara can say anything, "Are you okay?"
"What - ? I'm fine."
Alex raises an eyebrow, skeptical.
Lately, Kara has been different. Lena still hasn't resumed their friendship, and Alex makes a note to figure out how to change that.
Lena Luthor means more to her sister than anyone would have originally guessed when they met all that time ago. It hurt Kara to the core when Lena confessed to helping Sam without letting them in, and the kryptonite was just the distasteful icing on top – but Kara feels bad, and Kara feels guilty for lying, and Kara just misses her. Alex thinks probably as much as she herself misses the Arias women.
Kara huffs, "Seriously, Alex. I'm all right. So, what did you want to talk to me about?"
Alex wants to push. She really, really does, but this situation is out of her hands. Kara will talk when she's ready.
Taking a deep breath, Alex places her hand on the top of the table and taps it a couple of times. "Right here, in this very spot, you told me that I could have all the things," She bites the bottom of her lip, looking at her sister with adoration, "I believe you were right. And I – I think I found them."
Kara's expression softens, and Alex really shouldn't have leaned back in surprise when her sister asks, "With Sam and Ruby?"
"Yeah. That's not – " She leans forward again with wide, questioning eyes, and lowers her voice, "That's not crazy, right?" She doesn't give Kara a chance to actually answer as her nerves start to bubble over and she goes off. "I mean Sam and I haven't even talked about it, but during the trip it - it seemed mutual. Maybe I'm just getting ahead of myself. I jumped the gun with Maggie and that blew up in my face. Maybe I just want a family too much to see the full picture. But – But then again, maybe not, because I felt something with Sam, Kara. And that trip - being with them on that trip felt so natural."
The two are locked in an intense stare at each other, and Kara takes the time to process all the information thrown at her. Her crinkle is strong, and the gears are turning in her head.
"Alex," she finally speaks, with a softness dedicated to those who need it in the moment. It's never false, only genuine. "I don't know what happened while you were away, but if you think it's mutual, it's worth the shot to at least talk about it."
"One would think so," She says, a little bit on edge at the lack of current clarification, and, god, Alex hates when her voice turns small, but it does exactly that when she looks for conformation, "You think so?"
Kara smiles, confident in her answer of, "I know so."
To that, Alex clinks her glass of water with Kara's.
"You don't look like shit."
"Thanks?" Alex is slightly thrown off with confusion at Lena's version of a hello. "Was I supposed to?"
Lena rolls her eyes, but she looks like she knows something. She walks into the apartment like she owns it. Alex can tell that her guard is up.
This is the first time they've seen each other since before Alex left on the trip. Honestly, she's surprised Lena even returned her text, agreeing to meet here. Avoiding her and her sister seems to have become Lena's new favorite hobby, and she's quite skilled at it.
"Well, get on with it," Lena says, facial expression reading 'no bullshit'. She's being cold, and ready to get right to the point. That isn't surprising given the situation.
"Listen, it's about Supergirl." Alex closes the door behind them, following Lena's path to the open kitchen. "I know this whole thing seems like one big mess, but – "
"She's your sister and you want me to forgive her," Lena cuts her off, being direct and simply aggravated with this conversation already. She crosses her arms, and the glare she gives is harsh when she says, "You see, Alex, the thing is she's had plenty of opportunities to just tell the truth. She chose not to, and to find out that it means Kara used my personal relationships against me – " She cuts herself off there. Her jaw clenches, and it's the first time since this conversation started that she can not look Alex in the eye. She takes a moment – a breath – before steely eyes lock with Alex's. "She breached my trust, and she knew better."
"What about the Kryptonite? That was a breach of her trust, too."
"Fair enough, but I'm not the one who has been lying to her best friend for the entirety of their friendship."
"Fair enough." Alex can give her that one, but seriously, "How did you not know? I mean come on! Kara isn't the most subtle around people, and you are, well you, a freaking genius." She's expressive with this. Her facial expressions forming a number of different ways and her hands waving out here and there. This entire situation is just a big pain in the ass.
Lena smiles at that, but it doesn't reach her eyes. The laugh on her lips is fake, and there's a sadness in her tone when she says, "Sometimes what we feel blinds us from the truth." She shrugs. "I guess I didn't want to believe she was lying to me, so I believed she wasn't. Then the evidence kept piling up, and when Kara left the room and Supergirl appeared in a highly secured lock downed facility, I couldn't just ignore that."
The woman has a point, and it doesn't sit right when Lena chuckles, dark and bitter, saying, "Look at us now."
The way Lena presents it all makes Alex feel a little sick to the stomach, and maybe (despite the Kryptonite) it is then she realizes how much better Lena has always deserved – but the director side of her, the sister side of her, wants to protect Kara at all costs. At this point in time, her sister is unhappy. She would go to the ends of the earth for Kara's safety and happiness.
Alex says, "What happened to people's secrets being theirs to keep?"
But even she gets sick of them sometimes.
"They are, but if I'm supposed to be her best friend, why have I been the only one she refuses to tell? You were with us in Juru, Alex. I gave her the chance of telling me her real name. Do you remember what she said?"
Of course she does.
She remembers the words, "that's not a good question for a Luthor to ask someone in my family". She remembers seeing Kara hesitate, before forcing those words out of her mouth. She remembers the distaste on Kara's face at her own words, and how, internally, she herself even cringed.
"Do you realize how low that can make someone feel? I've already been knocked down enough in my life and I certainly don't need it from her."
"Kara loves you, and Sam –", Alex tries to lie once more for her sister. Not the love part, but trying to say Sam doesn't know.
"Knows, Alex. I had Ruby put her on the phone a couple of weeks ago. She tried to deny the truth, but I caught her in that. I can't be mad at her for that. It wasn't her secret to tell, and she wouldn't have known it if the Reign situation didn't happen."
Alex gets distracted at the mention of the Arias women talking to someone in the group. Their phone call was a week ago. "You spoke to Sam?" She wants to cringe about how needy her voice sounded for an answer.
Lena's intense gaze locks on to Alex's body posture as she does a scan. She must see something there that triggers her next words. "She's fine. You know, they won't be gone forever."
"Right," Alex clears her throat, feeling too exposed. "Back to the Kara situation."
Lena may be Sam's oldest friend, but Alex doesn't need to be getting into this with her right now. Lena must agree, or at least understands when Alex's defenses come up, because she continues on like Sam was never even brought up.
"My whole life I have wanted someone like your sister in it. Someone who understood me. Someone who knew my last name and still wanted to be around me. Someone who pushes me to stay strong and be better. Somebody who trusts me. I have Sam, but Kara – "
She stops herself, and Alex thinks she gets it now. Lena Luthor is in love with her sister, and Kara broke her heart. Alex wonders how she's never seen it before. Her mind brings memories up, like a slideshow, and oh it was so damn obvious.
Yikes.
Can anything in their lives be simple? Alex thinks of existing with Sam and Ruby and plenty of miles from National City. It wasn't simple in the way that there were no problems, but it was simple in the way that those problems were being dealt with naturally.
"I'd offer both of us a drink, but I like to keep it sober these days."
Lena raises an eyebrow at that, "Since when?"
Alex feels her cheeks heat up a bit, and with a shrug impersonating casual, she says, "Officially four days ago, but honestly, way before that - mainly."
Lena hums, and dammit Alex has been under more pressure than this, but Lena has the most intense stare of anyone the Director has come in contact with. Lena bites her lip, and her next words are incredibly calculated.
"Sam has that effect on people."
Back at this again, it seems.
Her defenses come up with full force, and she finds the floor of her apartment incredibly interesting when she says, "I don't know what you're trying to get at."
She does. Of course she does, and she isn't trying to hide it from anyone but Lena is the last person she wants to talk to about the uncertainty involving that relationship. Lena is Sam's oldest friend, and whatever she says could be reported back to Sam in a heartbeat. She wants Sam to hear what she has to say, to know what she feels, from her own mouth and not that of an emotionally damaged CEO.
"Oh, please," Lena scoffs, clearly not buying it, "like I'd believe that. I've seen you in love before."
"Barely."
And it's true. Alex and Maggie had only been together around Lena tiny handful of times.
"Enough to recognize when a heart shaped arrow has pierced your gay ass." The next thing Lena says sends her mind into overdrive. "For the record, I think Sam may love you too."
Her heartrate spikes at that, because it was unexpected, and did Lena just really confess that?
"What'd she say to you?"
Lena's phone goes off before she can answer. She smirks, "Saved by the ding."
It's clear that whatever was sent to her phone will be making her leave, and Alex puts aside the questions about Sam she wants answers for to focus on the real person they met to talk about.
"Can you just consider talking to Kars?"
It's a plea, and one that makes Lena pause. She stares at Alex, and then the door, and whatever hurdles she had to jump over in her head finally end at a, "I'll keep it in mind."
Alex really wishes she will.
Lena pauses at the door to turn back around, calls out, "Oh, and Alex?"
She sighs, pushing her hands into the pockets of her jeans when Lena turns around. "Yeah?"
"I know I said that we do whatever it takes to get what we want," Her face softens with her words, and she's quite honestly one of the most complex people the director has crossed paths with in her entire life, "but just be patient with her."
Then Lena is gone, and Alex is left with an almost overwhelming amount of the hope Kara insists she has had all along. If patience is what it takes then patience she will have.
The Arias women are more than worth it.
s. arias
7. They looked suspended, like heroes
Inside the myth heroes seem bent on making
From the myth of themselves.
Sam takes Ruby's cellphone from the nightstand of some dingy motel room located on the coast of Washington, sneaking outside as the sun starts to rise. She dials a number she knows by heart. The line picks up, and that voice spikes a bizarre calming, yet electrifying thrill down to her toes.
When Alex says her name, her lungs burst with a sharp intake of air, and why can't she say anything? She wants to, but how does she explain that she's human, yet there are flickers of memories of a powerful alien taking over her own body and that the powers have traced every inch of her skin; leaving it crawling and she's tried so hard to scrub the traces away regardless of making it raw.
Reign will be known to the world as a villain for the rest of time.
Before they left for the trip, the fear of Reign's presence had dwindled down as people all over National City put it behind them. Though someday, years from now – after new generations are born then grow up browsing through the internet - they will come across old news articles and videos. They will learn that, once upon a time, even Supergirl met her match. They'll tell strangers and show their friends, and Reign will once again be the center of somebody's fear; if even for just a moment.
Sam struggled with the thought that she isn't real. She has a heartbeat. She is human, but the body was born from magic in Kryptonian stars. It held an entire super powered identity within the body walls.
Is this a real existence? Is Samantha Arias real? Seems to be.
Her surroundings are real. Her daughter is real. The way Alex makes her feel is so, so real. The thought and emotions since Reign's end on this Earth are real.
There's a part of her that wants to be a hero. That wants to take the memory of Reign and fix her wrongs. But she's not a hero. Not even close. She's just a woman with a daughter and the face of a villain. But Alex –
Brave, brilliant, reckless.
The true human hero.
God, Alex makes Sam want to believe she could help save the world from the evil beyond the stars above them, and from the destructive people surrounding them on Earth, just by being exactly who she is.
How can she explain all of that to Alex without causing the woman a headache and coming off as insane?
"Mom?"
Sam swirls around to see Ruby, pajamas wrinkled and hair a mess, blinking at her from behind tired eyes. Her daughter comes up to hug her, mumbling good morning, and politely asks for her phone back. Time has ran out, but right before she disconnects the line, she hears, "I'm still here."
It's enough.
It's getting late in Oregon. The sun disappears as the two Arias women make their way into a gas station. They are on a road that doesn't have any other buildings for miles, according to the sign they seen about ten minutes back. The working man behind the counter nods when they walk in.
It happens so fast.
While Sam debates on the drinks, Ruby is scanning through aisles for candy bars. The bell above the door dings, but Sam pays it nothing more than a brief glance that results in seeing a man, with a hat and glasses, scanning the place.
It's only when a large commotion occurs up front, she realizes something is not right.
"Hey, lady!"
Sam freezes on the spot, heart hammering in her chest.
"Get over here now, before I shoot this son of a bitch!"
Rule number one and two for civilians held up in a robbery:
1. Follow instructions.
2. Don't be the hero.
When turning to do what he said, she catches a quick glimpse of Ruby. Her daughter is knelt down on the floor, peering at her from around a shelf. She gives Ruby a stern look to stay put. She's thankful that her hair is down, because it helps block the interaction from the man.
There's a gun pointed at her face when she turns around, but she isn't scared for herself. This man has nothing on Reign. Her fear is for Ruby.
He waves his gun, motioning for Sam to stand against the counter. She turns her back to him, planting her hands on the countertop for him to see them. Then he yells to the back of the room, "If anybody else is here, come out now or they're both dead!"
"It's just us," The man behind the counter says, sternly.
She catches his eye for a brief moment, and it astounds her that a complete strange is willing to cover for a kid he doesn't even know. Lying puts everyone in danger, but he does it anyway. Dan, she reads off the nametag. She'll have to think him later. That's if they make it out if here alive.
"Just give me the money, man!"
Looking back to the criminal, Sam can't see his eyes behind his sunglasses, but she would guess they were wide and manic. Based on the nervous twitches coming from his body, and the shaking of the hand holding the gun, Sam would guess this is his first robbery; maybe a split second decision made from a life crisis.
Her heart drops heavily, and she cringes, when the sound of things getting knocked over rings throughout the gas station.
Everyone stays quiet, and Sam turns heard just enough to watch as a can of soup rolls across the floor.
Ruby.
Alex's rules for being held up in a robbery:
1. Find the advantage.
2. Trust your instincts.
In the second the gunman turns to point his weapon in the direction of the noise, adrenaline of a protective mother kicks in, and Sam's body reacts instinctively from the training Alex helped her with. With quick precision she reaches out to grab his wrist firmly, ducking under his arm and bringing it behind him. He grunts in pain. The gun clatter's to the ground, not going off.
Grabbing the back of his head, she turns around to bash it against the counter.
Dan immediately takes out a shotgun from under the counter, pointing it at the criminal that Sam releases and lets drop. The wannabe robber is groaning, clutching at his bloody nose and mouth. Dan tosses some zip ties her way. She catches them before locking the gunman's hands together behind his back.
Sam is shaking a little, and she calls out for her child. Ruby comes barreling around the corner, hugging onto her for dear life. That's enough of a hero act for today.
The red and blue lights illuminate the area out front, and Sam wraps her arm around Ruby to guide her away after the officers finish their questioning. Ruby is in a mixed state of shock and pride for her mother at the unfolded events. The events that have lead Sam to knowing exactly what they need to do now.
"Come on, Rubes." Her arm tightens around her daughter's shoulders as they get closer to the car. After today, Sam can't not believe she is real. "It's time to go."
a. danvers
8. And when most unexpected, what survives will be laid bare.
The day had been spent tracking down a lead for the most current alien case, and Alex had bid goodbye to Supergirl and the rest of the team with a tired sigh. All she wants to do is curl up on the couch and rest for the remainder of the evening, but when she makes it home she is quick to realize that won't be happening. All senses are on high alert when the front door is noticeably cracked open. Withdrawing her gun from its place at her waist, she raises it to the proper level and quietly pushes open the door, and -
And everything comes to an abrupt halt, because Sam comes back on a Tuesday.
Sam is sitting on the couch with a tiny amount of surprise in her eyes at Alex's threatening entrance. Her eyes narrow and her hands come up, but there's a playful curl to her lips as she says, "Are you going to use cuffs on me too?"
It's the first words Alex has heard from her in a long time, and it's simple, but it's everything.
"Hey. Sorry," Alex says, putting the gun away and shutting the door. Scanning the apartment, she asks, "Where's Ruby?"
"Lena is watching her for a couple of hours." Sam stands, walking closer to grab her by the hand and tugs her in for a hug with an earnest, "Come here."
She wraps her arms around Alex's neck, firmly and real, and Alex's body can't do anything except melt into the embrace. Alex puts one arm around Sam's waist and the other across her back, hand gripping her right shoulder. Alex has missed her so much.
"I'm glad you're back," Alex's words are muffled by skin and hair.
She feels the smile on Sam's lips graze her ear, "I've missed you too. But," Sam retracts from her by just a fraction. Her hands slide down to toy with the collar of Alex's dark grey button down shirt. "Alex, we should talk."
"I was kind of hoping you would say that."
Alex is getting to be a little nervous, but she isn't lying. This conversation has been building up for months now. At this point, having this conversation is for her own sanity.
Sam locks their gaze, "You gave me a key."
"I did."
"Do you know what that means?"
But Sam doesn't give her the chance to answer, because she's pulling something out of her pocket and holds it up to Alex's face. It's insane how much the thing in Sam's hand means to her.
Alex smiles, "I get a lollipop?"
"You get a lollipop," Sam says with a grin, before becoming more serious, gently speaking, "And my heart, if you want it."
She places a hand over Sam's heart, feeling it thud against its cage. It's beating as fast as hers and that makes Alex smile. "It's my favorite."
The words between them aren't lost. Sam's hand comes up to hers, thumb tracing patterns on the back. Maybe it all really did start in L-Corp's lab.
"I just – "
Sam breaks Alex out of her thoughts.
"I just don't want you walking into this thinking that it'll be easy, because it won't be. I can't be a hundred percent all the time, and Ruby is almost a teenager." Her eyes comically widen, "The horror."
"Well, when you put it that way," Alex raises her eyebrows comically, the left side corner of her lips dramatically tilting downwards,
"Who in their right mind would say no to that life?"
"Alex, I'm being serious."
"I'm all in." What she doesn't say is that when she looks at the families on the street, she pictures Sam and Ruby and a life that she has wanted for so long. "I – I want to be your family. So, if that means dealing with an angst filled teenager and her survivor of a mother - I'm in."
Sam tugs at her belt loops, and Alex's heart thuds inside it's cavity the way it does on a mission with an adrenaline rush. And, god, Sam is so beautiful like this; in the sun coming in through the window and eyes that shine. Alex wants to explore her.
At first it's a gentle brush of lips, nothing firm or revolutionary, but Alex feels her whole body sigh in relief and finally, finally, finally. It's been so long since they last kissed, and this time Alex knows what it means for the future.
Things escalate from there. Not that Alex is complaining, because she most certainly is not. The kiss picks up – a little more firm, a lot more tongue and teeth. Sam likes to tug on her bottom lip, and Alex has to lock her knees in order to not collapse straight to the ground.
The shirt Sam is wearing rides up at the waist and the warm skin touches Alex's hands. It's soft, and Alex wants to feel more. She tugs on the fabric for consent, and Sam is quick to step back and give Alex what she wants by pulling the fabric up and off. Sam is literally standing half naked in her apartment. Alex feels a need building inside her.
Apparently, so does Sam, and she isn't subtle about it. Her tongue is tracing patterns on the smooth skin of Alex's neck, above the pulse point, and her hands work the buttons on Alex's shirt. Well, that is until she becomes impatient and rips the rest of the buttons away. They scatter on the floor and Alex doesn't even care, because damn that was hot. The shirt is shoved off her shoulders, and her bra is undone to be discarded.
Sam wastes no time in twirling a nipple between her fingers while her mouth insists on now biting Alex's neck. Alex grips the back of Sam's neck with one hand, and claws at the skin of her back with the other. Sam turns her into a vocal mess that compliments the wet mess in her underwear.
Suddenly, Sam is on her knees, tugging Alex's belt undone and undoing the rest of her pants. Alex's hips buck at the sensation of teeth nipping the skin right above her boy shorts. Her jeans get pulled down around her ankles and she kicks off her shoes to get them off all the way. Sam doesn't hesitate to rub her nose up her clothed pussy, kissing her clit directly through the fabric. Alex's breath hitches, and she needs to fuck and be fucked right now.
"Bed." Alex grips her shoulder, gathering Sam's attention. "Now."
Sam smiles wickedly at her, eyes gleaming with mischievousness. If you pair that up with still being on her knees, face still hovering an inch from her core, one would understand why Alex is ready.
Along the way, the rest of Sam's clothes get discarded as well and they both fall onto the bed with eagerness. Samantha Arias could have been one hell of a good model. Her body is all smooth, almost flawless skin, and toned muscles. She's going to be fucked so good. It says so in the lesbian handbook.
Alex is almost overwhelmed because she doesn't know where to start. She kind of wants to start everywhere. She wants to map out all the reasons she likes Sam on her skin with her lips, for display when ever Sam looks into the mirror. She settles on attaching her lips around one of Sam's nipples and sucking. Sam is already panting heavily underneath her, and Alex realizes this must be her first time in a long time too.
Oh, this is going to be fun.
She releases her nipple with a 'pop' and blows lightly on it before giving the other the same treatment. It causes chill bumps to quickly cover olive skin.
"Enough," Sam tries to demand, but her voice is high pitched and her body is writhing beneath Alex, and Alex was right. This is fun.
Alex decides to give in to her demands. Sam will keen at the control Alex is allowing her to have. When her hand slips down past glorious abs, Alex discovers that Sam's pussy is dripping wet and Alex groans in delight because she did that to her.
Sam bucks her hips up with wild abandon, searching for more and more and more. Alex hasn't really touched her yet. No pressure. No penetration. Just a hand resting on her pussy and it's driving Sam mad.
It is then that she has an idea, and Sam lets out a surprised shriek when she flips their positions. Sam is laying in top of her now, and her eyes darken to their fullest with desire at Alex's words.
"Fuck yourself," Alex breaths out, effected by this woman and this moment.
Sam's wetness slides across Alex's abdomen as she sits up. There's so much, and Alex thinks when this is all over with she'll have to wash her sheets sooner than expected. Sam lifts her hips up, hovering over two fingers that are at the ready. Sam locks eyes with her as she lowers herself down. The both of them moan loudly. Sam because of the stretch, and Alex because of the tight, hot walls of pussy gripping her fingers.
She is letting Sam control her own orgasm and Sam is eating it up. Her rhythm starts slow, shallow. Alex does little to help, and it makes watching the hunger in her eyes so much better. Her ass slams into Alex's own pussy with each drop of her hips as she picks up the pace. Going harder and faster and she's reaching, reaching, reaching.
Sam leans back, hands gripping Alex's thighs from behind and head rolled to the side. Her walls start fluttering around her fingers, and she's so close. Alex gives her mercy by curling her fingers right on that spot and thumbing roughly at her clit.
Sam gasps and then moans as her orgasm rips through her. She throws herself forward, steadying herself by placing her hands on Alex's stomach and fucks herself through her shaking, electrifying orgasm. There are curses and Alex's name on her tongue. It's all very thrilling.
Sam collapses on top of her and Alex wraps her arms around her body. Brushing her fingers along her skin, she waits for Sam to recover. She giggles because –
Whoa.
Then soft kisses are slowly being pressed to her neck before they travel down to her collarbone. Her skin tingles with the sharp bite she receives. Then Sam is gone, lower down her body in a blink. Alex looks down at Sam between her legs as Sam looks up at her and Alex didn't think she could be any wetter, but she is. Sam keeps their gazes locked as Alex's pleasure becomes her priority.
The first lick is light, teasing, and Alex groans in anticipation. Of course, she's the teasing type. It matches Sam perfectly.
Maybe she can feel the frustration start to bubble, or maybe she's just tired of her own slow actions. Either way, Sam picks up her pace and Alex doesn't bother to stop the moans coming out of her mouth. Her tongue dips down, circling the opening before thrusting in and Alex grabs a fistful of brunette locks at her actions.
With the stimulation - tongue fucking her with no reserve, thumb circling her clit firmly – she isn't going to last much longer. She'd be embarrassed about how fast she's about to fall over the edge, but it has been a very long time, and Sam is so fucking good at this. No regrets.
At the last second, Sam switches it up on her. Her mouth blows cool air on her clit before she takes into her mouth sucking hard and tongue flicking even faster. At the same time, she thrusts two fingers in to the hilt and curls them, pumping non-stop. Really, that is all it takes for Alex's eyes to slam shut and her body to tense as a white heat lights up her shaking, arching body. Sam's name choking in her mouth.
Sam fucks her through it, pace only slowing down when the shaking subsides. Alex whimpers when Sam takes her fingers out, cleaning Alex up lightly with her tongue. Alex feels her toes curl with the little aftershocks.
During the orgasm, her hand had tightened in Sam's hair and her legs had clamped around her head, and Alex doesn't know how Sam survived because she still hasn't let go. But Sam is alive, and she untangles Alex's hand from her hair and pries her legs apart.
A haze of bliss surrounds her, and chill bumps stay erupted on her skin as Sam slowly makes her decent upwards, leaving a trail of kissed skin along the way. Her weight on top of Alex is comfortable, and the skin contact is pure perfection. She rests her chin on Alex's boob, and looks at her with adoration.
"Hi." Alex says, breathlessly, brushing the mess of hair behind Sam's ear.
"Hey." Sam laughs lightly. Her smile is all bright teeth and shiny lips and squished eyes. She kisses Alex lazily then, it's wet but slow, and Alex can't hold back the moan from the taste of herself on Sam's tongue.
"How are you doing?"
It's not the sexiest pillow talk, but Alex has been wanting to ask Sam since she walked through the front door. It's an honest question, one filled with the same amount of concern she's had for what feels like forever now.
"I'm good. Some could even say great."
She's teasing Alex with her own words, and Alex has never felt this weightless. It makes Alex want to kiss her again, so she does. Sam hums approvingly against her lips and her hips buck into Alex as the director trails a hand down her back to grip a really great ass.
God, Alex is so fucking gay.
She groans, but not in a good way, when a phone starts to ring loudly in the little bubble of peace they've created. "No, don't answer it," she says with a pout as Sam leans over the edge of the bed to grab her phone from her jeans.
"It's Lena." She plants one more firm kiss to her lips before getting out of bed, wrapped up in one of Alex's sheets, and answering the phone.
Laying in bed, breathing back to normal, Alex watches Sam walk around her apartment talking to Lena. And, fuck, she looks so good here. Alex's sheets wrapped around her body, hair a mess but illuminated from the sunlight through the blinds. Alex runs her fingers across the bed. Sam is the first one Alex has had here since Maggie. Alex thinks if this was an earlier day, if Sarah had came to this earth, there is a high chance Alex couldn't of brought them back here. It would have felt like a betrayal. But today Alex remembers the words, "It's not just some notion" and Sam is here and she is really into Sam and Sam has a family she can be apart of. The family she wants to be a part of. Having Sam here isn't a betrayal. It's the life Alex gave up a dimpled detective for.
Alex's thoughts cease as Sam hangs up, coming over to slip on her pants.
"You're leaving?"
"Lena needs to get back to work." She pauses in buttoning up her shirt, turning to look at Alex with determination. "How about you come over for dinner? Ruby will be excited to see you."
"I think we did this whole thing backwards," Alex says, but it's with a grin.
"I think we did this whole thing exactly the way it was supposed to be." Sam gives her a chaste kiss and then straightens back up, slapping her leg lightly. "Now come on. My twelve year old hasn't mastered the ability to cook proper pasta yet."
Lena and Ruby are waiting by the door when the two arrive at the Arias household. The relationship between Alex and Lena has never been the strongest one, especially with recent revelations, but she interacts with Ruby the way the kid deserves and there's a level of respect Alex has for her.
Alex never had to bend down to Ruby's level to hug her, but this time she does, and this time Ruby almost knocks the air out of her lungs and the both of them backwards. She holds on as tightly as Ruby holds on to her. She's in the front lawn of a home that isn't hers, about to have a diner with a family that is becoming her own, and the world quietly clicks into place.
Sam follows after Ruby when the door is unlocked, leaving her with Lena on the porch. It would be totally fine if Lena wasn't staring at her with the same intensity of the sun. Alex's shoulders square up for a possible battle, and she wonders which one of them would win in a war.
Lena's expression turns into a raised eyebrow with a wicked smirk, and Alex has a sneaking suspicion that whatever is about to come out of those red painted lips isn't going to be innocent by any means.
"You look thoroughly fucked."
Alex knows she's blushing. Point for Luthor.
She makes a shushing noise, glancing in the house. "Keep your voice down," she tells Lena, and grumbles, "And mind your own business."
"I like to tease, and I'm also not surprised. It's not difficult to see why you want them. But let me make it very clear for you," she steps closer, giving off the vibe of a snake about to bite. "Sam is my business. As her friend, I have to say if you hurt her – "
"I wouldn't dream of it."
Lena scans her eyes and must see enough to back down. She gives her a single nod which Alex returns, and then she sets about leaving.
"By the way," Lena pauses in passing by her, lips close to her ear and voice lowering, but thick with amusement, "There's a hickey on your neck."
Lena is gone then, leaving Alex blushing once more. That is another point for Luthor, but she can't seem to give a damn.
Dinner goes….well.
Sam gives her concealer for the hickey, but the energy between the two must be on fire. They can't stop glancing over at each other, and Sam keeps reaching over to brush her hand against hers with every joke. Alex almost chokes to death on her water (she hasn't craved a single drop of alcohol in so long), because Ruby asks, "Are you two dating, yet?"
Sam pats lightly on Alex's back until the coughing settles before answering the question with a question. "Would you be okay with that?"
"Mom, she makes you happy. That's all I ever really wanted," Ruby shrugs, like it was obvious, and she's so relaxed about the while thing. It's like she knew it was going to happen this entire time. Though, her eyes still have excitement swirling in them.
Ruby is such a wonderful kid, and Alex almost can't hold back the tears. Sam doesn't even try. A single tear rolls down her cheek and she leans over to press a kiss on top of her daughter's head.
"Plus, Alex is a badass like you. It makes sense to stick together."
There's laughter, and when Alex is with them she doesn't feel like she threw away something real for some notion.
The sound of footsteps coming down the stairs reach Alex's ears. Sam strides into the kitchen, coming up behind her, flush against her back and arms secure around her waist. Ruby is settled in for the night, and the dishes are almost done, but she leans back into Sam anyway.
Sam kisses the spot directly beneath her ear. "You didn't have to clean up, but thank you."
"I wanted to." Alex rinses off the last few dishes, drying off her hands while Sam gently nibbles away on her earlobe. She turns around in her arms, leaning their foreheads together. Briefly, their noses brush together, and she kisses Sam's lips, before leaning back a little. "I should go. It's getting late."
"Or," Sam tells her just above a whisper, pressing feather light, tempting kisses along her jaw and down to her neck, "You can stay."
Alex can fucking feel the smirk on her neck from Sam's lips. "Are you sure? Ruby –"
"Come on, Director."
Sam's hand is suddenly in hers and Alex does the best thing she can for herself in that moment – she follows. It's a new experience – climbing the stairs of Sam's home and walking directly into her bedroom. They literally had sex less than five hours ago, and she really shouldn't be as nervous as she is. She's excited, of course, but this feels more real than it ever has with them.
They brush their teeth side-by-side in the bathroom (Sam had a spare toothbrush), and it isn't lost on her that they look good together. Not only that, but they move around and together as if they had done this their entire lives. Sam smiles at her around the toothbrush – a small, crazy adorable, amount of mint foam around her mouth – easily provoking a goofy smile of Alex's own.
Happiness looks goods on the both of them.
s. arias
9. I think we deserve a soft epilogue, my love. We are good people and we've suffered enough.
On the first anniversary of Reigns demise, the group gathers around at the Arias house.
James brings the pizzas. Lena brings wine. Kara brings cookies.
It's a bit awkward, because the three are civil towards each other, but the word friends is now used lightly. It's killing Lena inside, but her trust was destroyed. Sam knows she's trying to work through it - one little Lena Luthor step at a time.
Right now, James looks like someone kicked him in the heart and Lena makes a habit out of giving most of her attention to everyone else. They broke up shortly after the outing, and James is the only one incredibly torn up about it. Sam knows Lena really liked James, but she was also quick to realize it couldn't hold a candle to how Lena loves Kara.
Sam tries to discourage Alex from drinking the left over tension away, and it works, sort of, because she sticks to nursing only one beer the entire night but she keeps topping off Lena's wine glass. "I have to heavily drink vicariously through someone," is the answer Sam gets when she asks Alex to help carry the dishes into the kitchen. It's not the most ideal answer, but Lena – drunk and full of heart shards - seems more than okay with it.
As the tension starts to ease - because "tonight is not a night for you three, so don't even think about hashing out any leftover feelings here" Alex had whisper shouted when Ruby left the room – the teen brings out all the cooler games she owns. It turns out being competitive in good nature – teaming up and earning a weeks worth of bragging rights. The laughs are far more pleasant to hear than the echoes of Reign's victims (survivors).
Sam can't help herself from taking a moment to take in these people before her. They are messy, and beautiful, and layered, and so fucking incredible. They forgive and accept her, over and over again. They have become her family, and the remains of Reign's destruction have dwindled down to almost nothing.
At the end of the night, everyone - except a wine coma induced Lena, who hasn't budged from the couch since about an hour ago - leave and Ruby is put to bed. Alex is downstairs, finishing cleaning up the last of the party aftermath, as Sam changes into pajamas. It occurs to her after searching for clothes that Alex has more of her stuff here. There's an entire drawer dedicated to Alex, more than a few pairs of her boots lined along the closet wall, and the gun on the bedside table isn't the only one the director has stashed here.
Sam is already settled in bed when Alex enters, changing and climbing in next to her. The arm that settles around her waist is comforting and she looks to Alex, can't help but think how good Alex looks here. Being in her home, in her bed, in her life.
"What?" Alex says with a tiny, sleepy grin. The corners of her eyes crinkle, and Sam wants nothing more than to kiss her. So, she does. It only lasts a couple of seconds, but it's firm, setting her soul on fire.
Sam laughs as Alex chases her lips. She looks dazed, and Sam realized that for most of her life she has secretly wished for this. For a good person who looks at her like she's a part of the good the world is so set on destroying. For someone who loves her little family as if it is their own.
"Move in with us."
Alex doesn't question her. She smiles, and agrees, and it's all the power Sam needs in this universe when they come - breathless and always hungry for more - together.
On the fifth anniversary of Reigns demise, it's celebrated with a proposal.
"It took you long enough," she teases as Alex slips the ring on her finger. Alex's hands are shaking, and Sam has already said yes about twenty times, but she seems super nervous and Sam takes her hands in her own.
Alex hums as she is pulled closer, practically melts into Sam the moment arms wrap themselves around her waist and her forehead is kissed. She whispers, "I want it to last this time."
It's quite sweet.
For a brief moment, Sam thinks of Maggie.
The break up wasn't pretty for either one of them, but Sam feels the weight of Alex's forehead pressed against her collarbone, and she'll never regret being able to have this. For Maggie, she wishes the best and sends a silent thank you that the detective will never get.
A couple hours later, after Sam and Alex fucked again and again in celebration of their engagement, Sam's phone is loud in the otherwise quiet room. It's Lena.
Looking over her shoulder, Sam sees that Alex is still in the sex induced coma she put her in and smiles at the tiny snore her fiancé releases. It's kind of cute how someone so aware of their surroundings all the time isn't a light sleeper. She slides out of bed and into the bathroom, cracking the door behind her.
Flipping the light switch on, she blinks to readjust her eyes to the brightness and smirks when she notices her reflection in the mirror. Her hair is wild. There are love bites and scratch marks scattered all over her body, and her phone is still going off so she quickly shakes off the distraction to answer it.
Sam can't even greet her properly, because Lena immediately says, "I here congratulations are in order."
She watches her own eyes narrow in the bathroom mirror. "You knew."
Lena scoffs, "Who do you think helped pick out the ring?"
"Hey, Ruby and I helped too!"
"Ruby knew about this?"
"Alex asked for her permission. Anyway, the ring is perfect, right?"
"Yeah, I think perfect pretty much covers it," Sam mumbles, distracted as she stretches her hand out to admire the ring. When she moves her hand away, she opens her mouth to say more but a moan cuts stops her words short. She blinks at herself in the mirror twice, before, "Was that – Are you having sex right now?"
"It's just a little foreplay, really," Lena says casually, like this isn't the weirdest moment in their entire friendship. (Reign not included). While Kara's voice, slightly muffled, is heard saying, "Please, don't tell Alex."
"Oh my – " Sam chokes on a laugh, caught somewhere in between amused and mortified. "I'm hanging up now."
The sound on her cell is loud enough that she can here her friends say "we love you guys!" as she moves the phone away from her ear before hitting the disconnect button.
On the eighth anniversary of Reign's demise, Ruby becomes an agent.
Her daughter is brave and beautiful and far more intelligent than half of the DEO. Ruby is the youngest agent they've had in years, trained under the watchful eye of Director Danvers.
It makes her nervous, because Ruby may be grown up and far more extraordinary than thought possible for one human, but she's still her little girl. If Sam didn't trust Alex, and Ruby's own will of strength and genius, she'd put up a bigger argument. But they are the most incredible humans Sam knows, and the best team.
On the tenth anniversary of Reign's demise, tears spring to her eyes the moment the nurse sets a tiny blue bundle of blankets in her arms.
There is sweat drying on her forehead, and she hasn't settled her breathing back to normal yet, but she looks at the little face poking through the hole of the bundle and can't care about anything else right now.
Except Alex.
Alexandra Danvers who hasn't budged from her spot of standing directly beside her wife. Her hands are gripping Sam's arm in two different spots, and oh, does she look to be the most happiest and nervous person in the room.
A genuine smile slides onto Sam's lips, because she gets it. This experience is unique and emotional, and she laughs lightly with joy as she asks, "Would you like to hold our son?"
Alex looks like that question almost broke her. Those beautiful dark eyes are wide and they won't stop bouncing back and forth between her and the baby. There's a nod though, and slowly the baby boy is switched from one mother to another.
There are a pile of people out in the waiting room, eagerly awaiting to see the new addition to perhaps the strongest makeshift family in existence. It has a smile forming on Sam's lips, because she knows that they would absolutely love to witness this exact moment.
The moment where Alex holds their son in her arms for the first time. The way she talks gently just above a whisper, "Welcome to the world, Raiden". The second that it takes for him to wrap his tiny little finger around one of Alex's, and the expression of pure wonderment she has looking down at him; Sam knows Alex is feeling exactly what she did; what she told the group of female friends that time Alex convinced her to let them in on the blackouts.
A few minutes later, Ruby comes into the room.
They all huddle around together as a family, and for a second Sam feels bad because Reign will never have to opportunity to have this. This experience makes her feel whole, but with someone like Reign it would have been impossible. Reign almost made this life impossible for her.
Alex stares at the three of them with tears trying to dry on her cheeks, says with the most sincere smile, "We're beautiful."
Sam can only agree.
The moment is interrupted when Kara comes zipping in through the room door, practically yelling, "I call Godmother!"
"That's not fair! You cheated, Kara," Lena huffs, coming into the room a few moments later. "As Sam's closest friend, I think I should have that title and responsibility."
"He's Alex's child too, and I'm her sister!"
"He came out of Sam's vagina, Kara. I think she has the leaning vote."
"Gross! I did not need to hear that," Ruby exclaims, cringing and Sam thinks her face may get stuck in disgust.
Sam laughs at the duo ignoring Ruby and bickering like only lovebirds do. Sam understands their eagerness, because they both love this little family and want to have one of their own to add to the mix.
"That's enough you two," Alex tries to hush them as her son starts to stir. Even Lena backs down from the Director's glare. "We'll discuss this later."
The day of Reign's defeat becomes so much more than that.
It becomes a day packed with positive celebrations for the lives of the people she holds close to her heart. It becomes a day spent living the life she almost lost. She doesn't think she could ever forget what the exact date originally stood for, but it doesn't weigh on her anymore.
Reign is gone.
They stopped telling her this, because she doesn't need them to anymore.
She believes in it with every ounce of her human heart.