What is it with women and their fascination with watching the sun go up and down. Sesshomaru asked himself as he - for the third night in a row - watched Kagura as she watched the sunrise. She had been in his castle for several weeks now and, after noticing that she was taking to the sky at the exact same time every morning and evening, Sesshomaru had annoyingly found himself curious as to what she was doing.
Now, here he stood again, watching her from his study so as not to be detected. The darkness had been receding little by little; the sun overpowering it. At first, Sesshomaru had his eyes trained on the horizon, trying to see what it was that enticed women so. Was it the colors? But beforehe could think further, another sight had captured his attention. As the sun became visible, it's rays seemed to wrap themselves around Kagura in a way that made her appear to glow. To present the vision of an angel. A goddess, yes, that was more accurate. His wind goddess.
Mine? Sesshomaru silently scoffed, scolding himself for his slip. Kagura was merely a guest in his home, not his mate. Though she was desirable, they argued too much. She was strong willed and opinionated, and often quick to anger; though she controlled her actions well. Still, he could always feel the slightest change in her mood. He was, after all, the Great Dog Demon.
Finally, the sun had entered the sky. Sensing that Kagura was about to turn, Sesshomaru forced his eyes away from her form and slunk back into the shadows. He paused a beat before crossing the office and exiting. After all of the times he had reprimanded Kagura for her tardiness to their morning meal, he didn't dare tarry. Especially if the reason was that he was watching her. Inhuman speed got him into the hall and seated just before Mara escorted Kagura inside. She bowed and left, Kagura taking her seat across from Sesshomaru.
The only time they didn't sit by each other at meals was when they had particularly heated arguments, causing Kagura to sit towards the bottom of the table. She had tried once to skip dinner and wait out her anger in her room. After sending countless servants and guards to retrieve her, Sesshomaru had finally walked into her room, thrown her over his shoulder, and then carried her to the dining hall and tossed her down at the table. She hadn't missed a meal since; although her sky gazing made her frequently late.
The servants set the table and then the pair were alone.
"How are you this morning, Sesshomaru?" Kagura asked almost absentmindedly, eyes still trained on her food.
"I am well," he began, eyeing her warily as he began to detect a bit of mischief in her scent, "and yourself?"
"I am fine. I especially enjoyed the sunrise this morning. Did you?" she asked, the ghost of a smile threatening her lips.
So there it was! The source of the playfulness in her scent. Sesshomaru did his best to hide his surprise as he regarded her, "I am still attempting to discern the fascination you women seem to find in the sight." he responded coolly.
"Well, perhaps, instead of lurking in the shadows of your study, you join me and I can show you."
Just who did this demoness think she was? He could feel the challenge beneath her aura. Did she think he would back down? Was she goading him toward a reaction? So because she had seen him watching her she felt as though she had the authority to call him out on it. Was that it?
"Very well. I shall join you this evening. If your eyes are strong enough to catch glimpse of me as I pass my window, then they must be strong enough to point out some mysterious wonder hidden amongst the sun and clouds."
It was almost infuriating how she had not once looked up at him. No one but his half breed brother irked him so. Yet, here she was, ready with another response to unsettle him.
"I did not see you." she paused to chew, dragging out the silence and forcing him to wait for her elaboration, "I've sensed you every time you stood there. I could tell your stare amongst the others."
Now she had truly unsettled him. Though, he took care not to show it, his curiosity had spiked. How, when he had been concealing his aura, had she sensed him? Sure he wasn't entirely hidden, but, from such a distance…how much power was she truly hiding. He'd gotten a taste of something greater lurking beneath the surface when they had argued on her first night. He would have to find a way to test her.
The rest of breakfast was finished in silence and then the two parted ways. Kagura was about to retire to her room when a thought occurred to her. It had been a couple of months since she'd been here at the fortress and she hadn't really gone anywhere but the dining hall, her spot by the lake, and her room. Hmmm. Her room. It wasn't hers. These all belonged to Sesshomaru. The very garments she wore belonged to him. She couldn't lean on him forever, nor did she intend to. He hadn't shown the slightest interest in her outside of amusing companion, so she'd tossed her fantasies aside and conceded to the fact that she would need to leave soon. But, for the time being, she was curious.
"Mara, does Lord Sesshomaru have a library?"
"Y-yes, mistress Kagura, but it is -
"Off limits. I'm sure."
"It is connected to Lord Sesshomaru's private rooms. His study, his bed chambers, his meditation room. Guests are not allowed to enter and servants may not approach his wing unless summoned. Only master Jaken is permitted."
"Ah, Jaken. Haven't seen him in a while." Kagura mumbled to herself before turning back to Mara, "You may leave me now."
Mara paused for a moment, looking warily at her mistress. Mara could see the mischievous intent dancing behind Kagura's eyes. After Kagura raised an eyebrow at her, Mara bowed obediently and scurried off. Kagura followed Sesshomaru's aura to the point where it was strongest, taking care to mask her scent and her aura so that he wasn't aware of how close she was.
It was nice to have the ability to hide from even him. Inuyasha and his gang had been unaware of her spying eyes many times in the past. Most were not aware just how deep her abilities ran. She'd been a puppet so long she'd almost forgotten herself. She didn't need her enlarged hair pieces to fly. She could also use the wind to enhance and draw scents to her, putting her ability to smell almost on par with the dog and wolf demons.
After peeking into the wrong room (grateful that Sesshomaru hadn't been in his study) Kagura found the library. Her breath caught for a moment at its sheer size. She hadn't expected it to be so grand, thinking that Sesshomaru had little time for reading. She walked into the room and turned around, taking in the different walls and levels of books. She was so enraptured that she forgot the hold on her aura. And the she felt a hand around her throat, squeezing tightly.
"Ses-" she tried to choke out but couldn't.
Eyes glowing red, anger overpowering rationale, Sesshomaru had slammed Kagura against a wall, holding her up in the air. Part of him was reacting to her invasion of his space. No one save for two individuals was allowed to enter this area without being summoned; certainly not a guest. But another part of him was angry at the fact that he had not sensed her approach, nor had he scented her. She had just suddenly been there. Now he was anxious to find out what she was plotting against him. And to think all this time he'd trusted her. All of his words came out beneath barely controlled growled.
"What is the meaning of your presence here? What is this trickery? Did you mask yourself from me to make attempt on my life? Do you seek to take control of that which is mine?"
"I-I can-can't brea-L-let go." Kagura strained to get out, her vision already becoming cloudy.
"If you desire to take from me, then perhaps I should take from you." at this his hands touched at her ankle, pushing under her kimono and sliding up her leg. Her consciousness flew back and her eyes widened in horror.
No! Anything but that. She screamed internally. Kagura could take the threats of violence and such. She could argue with him to no end. But should he seek to…no one knew and this was not the way she had imagined this.
"Please stop." she pleaded, already feeling her power build, ready to aid her. But the cold Lord Sesshomaru was firmly in place, the version she'd grown accustomed to buried beneath his beast. With instinct driving him, hers did the same. The wind blew at a bone crushing force, knocking Sesshomaru off of her and pinning him to the wall across the room. A tornado had formed as Kagura fell to her knees, gasping for breath. Once her lungs were sufficiently filled and no longer burning, she stood to her feet, eyes piercing the lord across from her. Books and scrolls were being thrown about the room, the glass in the windows having been shattered with that first initial shove. She took hold of the cold air that had entered from outside, adding it to her forces. But as she looked at Sesshomaru it wasn't with as much anger as it was hurt. She forgot her hardened image for a moment.
"How could you?" she asked in a broken voice, "I thought we had grown past this version of you, but that you would seek to retaliate by robbing me of my -" she stopped herself, shocked at her almost admission. Damn that pesky heart of hers. But it was too late, and she knew Sesshomaru had pieced it together.
His wide eyes matched mirrored her own shock as he came to understand what she had left unsaid. It seemed as though she had caught herself off guard as the winds ceased and he was released. He was free, but he couldn't bring himself to make move towards her. He opened his mouth to speak, but she flinched, believing him to have been ready to move nearer to her, and he recoiled. She feared him now. After everything, she finally feared him. But he hadn't desired it like this. He hadn't desired it at all.
He blinked and she was gone, fleeing through the halls. Fleeing from him. She wasn't attempting to hide or mask herself, so he felt her out. He wanted to send out his aura and attempt to soothe her, but knew that any contact from him would only further agitate her. So he merely continued to track her scent just to see if she was leaving the grounds. She wasn't. She had escaped to her spot above the lake where she would watch the sun. The very spot where he had been to join her this evening. For some reason he was relieved. Why had he been so worried that she was to leave him? Had she not been here long enough already?
It seemed to be his honor nagging at him for what he had almost done, or rather what he had insinuated. He would never lower himself to such a degree, but he was fully aware of the severity the threat held, whether his victim knew that he would never see it through or not. But even the false suggestion disgusted him. Rape? To defile a woman against her will was unforgivable. It was one of the most dishonorable things any human or demon could do. And his damn honor saw it fit for him to somehow make it up to her…if ever she let him near her again, that is.
Three days. Kagura had been in the sky for three days. She hadn't moved, and barely permitted herself thought. The first day she had spent the morning staring blankly up at the sky until finally the sunset came and soothed her, and then she had the beautiful stars to distract her. For a moment, her mind had wandered back to her awful encounter, causing the wind to pick up speed and a whirlpool to begin forming beneath her. She had centered herself by counting the stars until she had dragged her mind away from the morning's events, afraid to sleep for fear of the incident haunting her dreams.
She had watched the sunrise, and almost rushed off to breakfast, but reminded herself that she had no desire to be anywhere near Sesshomaru. He wisely refrained from sending any servants after her. Mara had come of her own will, simply to check on her new mistress and see if she desired anything. Kagura wanted nothing to do with anything Sesshomaru offered. She sent Mara for her own clothing, used her powers to pull them up to her, and then tossed the robes Sesshomaru had provided her into the lake. Kagura wasn't quite sure what it was that was anchoring her here, but she hadn't quite mustered up the strength to leave. Perhaps she was afraid that if she tried to leave his territory Sesshomaru would drag her back. But clearly he didn't care. He made no move to come to her. To take back his actions. But once again she had to remind herself that this was Lord Sesshomaru and he apologized to no one. The man she thought she had come to know was merely a facade. A role he played well to get her to fight what could only be be equated with being a prisoner. He saw her as property and nothing more.
Having grown accustomed to a warm bed and regular feasts, she was of course weary and hungry, but she'd endured worst than this under Naraku's hold and refused to give in. This heart would not make her weak. It would not.
She hadn't eaten. She hadn't slept. She'd thrown the clothes he had given her in the lake and refused any further service from Mara. She hadn't left the fortress grounds, but seemed to have no intention on returning. How long would she stay there suffering. How long before her body gave out and she tumbled from the sky, falling into the lake, too weak to pull herself above the waters for air? And how long before she would stop plaguing his thoughts. If she wanted distance from him then so be it. She wanted to starve herself, well then that was her decision. He would not coddle her or give in to a grown woman with power such as hers throwing a fit as if she were a child.
Speaking of children, he had hoped that his own ward would have been able to distract him. Winter was approaching and, despite the agreement to allow her to be raised among humans, Sesshomaru would not let Rin suffer through the cold under the town's feeble protection. So, he had sent Jaken to not only retrieve the girl, but stock up on anything the household would need in the coming months as well as anything new that Rin required or desired.
They hadn't been able to fly, as Ah-Un had been pulling a cart full of everything Jaken had acquired, but they'd finally arrived. Rin was excited to see him, and had been practically attached to his hip since returning. She had held his attention as she told him of all she'd done and learned while he had been absent. She was quite taken with Kagome, his brother's Priestess turned mate. Apparently, she had somehow become a half demon half priestess or something of that nature. Of course Rin had been shielded from the more adult details.
But of course, Rin couldn't actually be by his side at all times. She had to bathe, and sleep, and although he'd given her the first couple of days free, her tutors had been called forth to resume her lessons. And, even though she was pleasant company at meals, and Jaken saw fit to talk incessantly as always, something was missing. Kagura's presence had become a constant for him and it seemed that his mind was determined to attack him with memories of their banter, and her playful smirk, and her challenging tone until he made peace with her.
A small growl, directed entirely at his psyche, halted whatever Jaken had been rambling to him about.
"Mi'lord?" his servant asked, confused and a bit worried that he'd unwittingly angered his master.
"Jaken, I will return shortly. See that the kitchen prepares an excess of sweet dumplings dipped in powdered sugar. Rin will quite enjoy them I am sure."
"Yes, Lord Sesshomaru! Right away." Jaken hurried off to ensure the kitchen workers received the message in time; all the while, unaware that, while of course Rin would love the sugary treat, they happened to be Kagura's favorite.
Once Jaken was gone his Lord took to the sky. As he approached Kagura, Sesshomaru did his best to push out the most un-menacing aura he could. The closer he got the slower he approached, not wanting to frighten Kagura into running away or using her powers on him again. He hadn't expected her to be able to hold him down, seemingly by accident. The moment she got ahold of herself, her powers had calmed and the wind had released him. Imagine what she could do when she had her wits about her.
Eventually, he realized that, while she radiated a dangerous amount of hostility, she was allowing him to come near her. They floated there together, silently, for hours, until finally the sun began to sink.
"Did you not say that you would explain to me women's fascination with the sun?" he began, wondering if this tactic would work.
"You do not deserve it." Kagura responded coldly.
At least she was talking. He was silent for a time longer, dragging up every ounce of will power he had in an attempt to teach himself how to apologize properly.
"Kagura, I had no idea you were -
"Stop. Don't."
"I would have never…I mean would never take such action against a woman, but I wouldn't have made such cruel threat had I known you were innocent to the ways of men."
Had she seriously just rolled her eyes at him? Why was she so infuriating?!
"You make it sound as if I am some naive child. I merely don't take to whoring myself. While I myself may not be pure, my body is. It is something I hold sacred about myself. And for you to…" she turned her head in the other direction, letting her voice die down to almost a whisper, "I thought that, at the very least, you held more respect for me than that."
One beat. Two beats. Three beats of silence and then, "Kagura, I am sorry."
Her head whipped back, eyes wide, "Y-you're w-what?" she couldn't think of anything to do besides question his motives. He looked at her as if he couldn't believe she wasn't rushing to accept, "Don't give me that look. A few days ago you had me in a choke hold and now you're sorry? What did you expect? That I would just start gushing at your nice words? Everything can't come easy to you just because of your title and reputation."
Sesshomaru let out something that could almost be mistaken for a sigh, "Come. It is time for dinner."
"And there he is. Commanding me as a servant. As the prisoner I've been since I arrived."
"Prisoner?"
"This is exactly why I need to leave."
He didn't show it, but her words bothered something in him, "You desire to leave?"
Kagura had to mentally scold herself for thinking his tone sounded as though she'd hurt his feelings. She didn't answer though; just gave him a determined look.
"You have been up here for three days. It would ease my mind in regards to your well being after departure if you would join me for a final meal."
She pondered his words for a moment, "Very well." she replied, thinking it appropriate to reward the progress he'd made towards asking instead of ordering her around. They returned to the castle and walker side by side, to dinner. There, they found Rin waiting patiently at an already set table, Jaken attempting to keep control of the energetic child.
"Oh! Lord Sesshomaru, you are here! I had the kitchen prepare these for mistress Rin as you requested. Look!"
Jaken and the kitchen staff had followed through. A rather large tray was overflowing with the dessert that Sesshomaru ordered in abundance. Rin ran over and bowed to her guardian.
"Lord Sesshomaru, master Jaken told me these sweet dumplings were for me! Thank you, my lord! Rin is most grateful." she beamed up at him and then finally took notice of the woman at his side, "Oh! Hello lady Kagura. Would you like a dumpling?"
Though Jaken and Rin were both under the impression that the treats were for Rin, Sesshomaru and Kagura shared a knowing look. Kagura's heart began to thaw as it dawned on her that had no only taken notice of her favorite sweet, but he'd ordered it prepared for her and in such magnitude.
Kagura turned from Sesshomaru - ready to squirm under her pleading stare - and regarded Rin.
"Come little human," she held out her hand which Rin quickly took, her touch filling Kagura with a strangely pleasant feeling, "we shall sit together and you may share your treats with me if you'd like. These happen to be my favorite."
Sesshomaru watched as Kagura and Rin spent hours eating and laughing. Playing chase games around the table and stealing dumplings from each other. He'd never known Kagura to care much for humans or children, but the way she indulged his ward stirred his beast. It was a natural reaction to her maternal display and nothing more.
Finally, Sesshomaru could see that Rin's sugar rush was over and drowsiness was setting in. She was rubbing her eyes and fighting the sleep to continue talking with Kagura, but Sesshomaru summoned her servant Lilu and sent her off to be bathed and put to bed.
There was an awkward silence before Kagura cleared her throat and suggested it was time for her to go. Sesshomaru offered to walk her to the door and she accepted. They walked in silence, but the tension was thick in the air. Both seemed as though they wanted to speak, but neither did. When they had reached the door they faced each other. Both seemed to be waiting for the other to say something. What? Neither knew. But Kagura could wait no longer.
"Thank you for -
"Stay." Sesshomaru hurriedly cut her off.
"W-what?"
"I do not wish for you to go." he trained his eyes on a non-existent point on the wall, unable to bear the weight of Kagura's stare, "I desire that you remain here with Rin and I, at least throughout the winter months."
"But…why?"
He did not answer her question but gave her a pointed stare that spoke volumes, "I enjoy your company, and deeply regret any pain that I may have caused you. I will do my best to control my temper, my actions, and my words. I can not change overnight, but if it keeps you in my company, then I can try for better behavior. I make no promises. At times I will fail. At times we will anger one another. But it is nice having someone of equal intellect to converse with."
Kagura was stunned into silence. How often did Sesshomaru use such words? Such vulnerability? Stay?