*Chapter 1: In the City of Acme Falls*
'Over a century ago, the tiny village of Acme Falls thrived peacefully and prosperously since King Salazar was deposed and removed from the throne. Everyone was happy, including the Butcher, the Baker, the Candlestick Maker...and the Mime.
"As we said once before, no place is perfect." Yakko commented.
Very true. And since progress in Acme Falls was going so well, industry and the economy picked up; leading the tiny village to become a bustling town, becoming the gem of the entire realm. All thanks to the new royal rulers...'
xxxxxx
Leaping right in front of the sign declaring the city limits of Acme Falls that was posted under a tree, were the Warner Brothers, and their sister, Dot. All were clad in regal attire.
"We've also got Baron von Plotzy to invest in another burger venue, and turn it into a franchise." Yakko continued.
"Now we've got an Out 'n Out!" Wakko excitedly added, pulling out a white paper bag with and orange fir tree printed on it from his hammer space and retrieving a particularly large hamburger, swallowing it in one gulp.
"Yes, because no town's complete without one." Rem said sarcastically as she simply walked into the scene, dressed in similar regal attire to her peers. "By the way, why the heck are we doing a period piece again?"
"Nice guess there, Rem." Yakko quirked, patting her head.
"But we're not in a period piece." Dot said sweetly as her second oldest brother put a goblet filled with soda pop in the teen's hand.
Rem blinked a few times blankly, and made a rather surprised and downright confused expression.
"...We're not?" she asked, somewhat befuddled.
"Nope!" Yakko declared jovially while placing an arm around the teen's shoulders. "This is one of those 'different time, different place' gigs, Miss Warner-Roth. So allow us to reintroduce everybody!"
(Now Playing: The Kids Are Back by Twisted Sister)
A giant carriage suddenly roared up alongside the quartet, being drawn by a team of white stallions draped with blue banners with golden borders and a large 'WB' emblem. The siblings merrily hopped onto the horse drawn vehicle, carrying a very bewildered Rem along with them.
...I think I liked it better when we were doing this on a bus.
They drove all the way into the town where the denizens were going about their business and cheerfully waving as the Quartet passed them by. Along the road, they passed by a bottling factory with a large billboard erected on the roof with the words, 'Scratchy Cola' painted on the surface. A familiar p-sychiatrist and nurse were busy directing the latest shipment going out for distribution.
"There's Doctor Otto Scratchansniff and his now world famous 'Scratchy Cola' factory! Yakko pointed out.
"HEEELLLOOOO, NURSE!" Wakko bellowed at the blonde.
"Boys, go fig." Dot scoffed to Rem.
They continued onward through the town where they came across another familiar face helping a young man direct traffic.
"And here's Ralph, recently promoted to Town Sheriff directing Constable Junior!" Dot piped in, as the tubby man tipped his hat to them.
"And Baron von Plotzy's Out 'n Out!" Wakko enthusiastically added, pointing to the now large burger restaurant that sported an outdoor pavilion eating area and the statue of a man wearing a crown over a chef's hat. The stout aristocrat saw them passing by and greeted them from afar.
"How was the Super Colossal Burger?" he asked.
Wakko paused to think hard and consider the confection's contents.
"More special sauce!" he exclaimed, prompting the baron to turn to a cook.
"You heard him, more special sauce!" Plotz ordered.
Rem arched a brow at this.
"...Kinda makes me think that they merged with Big Boy or something." she commented.
"A venerated Acme Falls institution, Rem dear." Dot replied dutifully.
As they journey forward, Rem couldn't help but notice how everyone they seemed to pass by, bowed and curtsied to them. A few seconds later, they came across a man with face make up and clad in red and white.
"Of course, we could never forget the Mime." Yakko declared.
"..Oh...hi, Shitbird." Rem sputtered, to which her peers slapped a 'CENSORED' tape across her maw.
The Mime nonetheless characterized what appeared to be a parade until he was suddenly flattened by a dropping anvil. Rem would have cracked up laughing if she wasn't so flabbergasted by her current surroundings. A few seconds later, a couple more of the townspeople walked by and bowed low to the Quartet.
"Your majesties!" they greeted.
Rem almost didn't register what she had just heard.
...wait...WHAT?!
"We bid you good day, citizens!" Yakko heartily quirked. "Here, have a bag of money!"
The elder Warner tossed them a giant canvas bag of gold coins before the carriage resumed its journey as Rem's irate emotions began to mount.
"...Please tell me this is some sort of whacked-out April Fool's joke." she quietly demanded.
"Not today it isn't, Rem my dear!" Yakko told her triumphantly.
A few seconds later, they came up upon Warner Castle, looking quite magnificent, complete with searchlights in the background. Rem stared at the scene, almost despondent and in disbelief.
...Christ, they even got a Water Tower attached to all that.
The quartet arrived at the castle gates, getting their carriage to come to a screeching halt. Rem almost fell off if Wakko hadn't erected a sail to catch her. The siblings then marched past the gate with their charge slightly keeping up. Standing there and waiting to admit them, with their chests all puffed up, were three familiar squabs.
"Rem, meet our faithful bodyguards." Dot said.
"...Bodyguards?" Rem sputtered again.
"Yo coo lil' lady, walk this way." Bobby directed as his two associates escorted them into the castle grounds.
The Warner siblings proceeded to bird walk while Rem, still quite flabbergasted, simply passed through normally. Then the teen was reacquainted with another pair of recognizable faces.
"Our most trusted advisers!" Yakko declared.
Rem almost snorted. Perhaps the most interesting thing out of the whole thing.
"Your majesties." Brain bowed politely.
"All hail the king!" Pinky added with a goofy grin. "NARF!"
Rem was increasingly being put off by all this, and wishing this really was all just a late April Fool's joke.
"Um...I'm not..." she started to say.
"Nope!" Yakko interrupted. "You're the Lady Rem! Royal ward of the Warners!"
Wakko wrapped a blue shoulder sash adorned with a gold WB shield around Rem to which she made a disdainful expression.
"...I ain't wearing a freaking dress!" the teen ranted.
Her response was another 'CENSORED' tape slapped onto her maw.
"Welcome to Acme Falls!" the siblings declared.
Colorful fireworks thus exploded into the sky, creating a bright rainbow-like reflection upon the settlement below.
"How's that for a big budget opening?" Yakko quipped.
(End Music)
XXXXXX
Later on that day, the evening sun reflected the brilliant colors of the autumn leaves and sparkled like gems on the surface on a nearby lake. The air was crisp and brisk, but it wasn't enough to keep a lone figure from coming out into the castle courtyard and towards the stables.
"Hey, Pharfignewton." Rem sullenly murmured. "You here too?"
She kindly and quietly fed the mare an apple to which the horse nickered gratefully. Rem emitted a heavy sigh and walked over towards a ladder to climb to the rood of the stable so she could watch the setting sun, being watched by a curious Pharfignewton. Gazing into the golden horizon being slowly turned to a fiery orange and then violet as the star descended, Rem pondered her present situation that she was completely unprepared for. In all honesty, she rathered they were at their previous setting. Rem might have been flustered by having to live at a Hollywood studio before, but this really took the cake.
"There you are." said a voice.
Rem didn't have to turn to see it was Yakko. Not helping her demeanor was the fact that he was now wearing a regal crown. He recognized instantly that something was eating at her.
"Well, don't you look like you've got a bone to pick." Yakko quirked, sitting beside her. "So let's have it."
There was a pause before Rem let it out.
"Okay, fine; when the hell were you gonna tell me that you and your brother and sister were of royal freaking linage?!"
Rem nearly hissed at that last part, as if it were the most distasteful thing she could think of.
"Well, you never thought to ask." Yakko calmly pointed out.
"...okay, fair enough. But then, how the hell would I ever think to ask?"
"You know, most females in your shoes would be giddy if they found out they were schmoozin' with royalty." Yakko reasoned while arching his brows up and down.
"But I'm not most females!" the teen protested. "I left all that fantasy crap behind when I was four! And no offense, your royal assness, I find most insanely rich creeps to be scumbags, a bunch of stuffy jerks that I swore I'd never associate myself with. And now I feel like I'm stuck in a cinder block penitentiary, not able to do a damn thing on my own because some poor schmuck has to do it for me!"
Yakko made quite a quizzical look when Rem finished her rant, nearly out of breath and almost working herself into a tizzy. Then he whirled himself into a psychiatrist's outfit and had the teen on a therapist's couch.
"Rem, I think you're making quite a tempest inside a wee teacup." the elder Warner said in an accent similar to Sigmund Freud while jotting down notes on a clipboard. "Besides, who says you can't do the things you want on your own?"
Rem was about to open her mouth to rant again, when she realized what Yakko was trying to tell her.
"...no one." she admitted in a small voice.
"And we're not scumbags, right?" he continued, bouncing his brows again.
Rem raised her brow at him in turn.
"...Well, there are times I want to punch you in the face." she muttered.
Yakko plopped down on the therapy couch beside the teen and placed an arm around her shoulders.
"Rem, you've got nuttin' to worry about." he assured her. "It'll still be like old times. Except now, we've got a free license to be zany."
"Pfft, like so many of your 'other' licenses." Rem scoffed.
"You get one too ya know, Miss Warner-Roth."
"Oh, do I?"
"Sure."
Yakko presented her with an ID with her picture and name scrawled on it.
"Wow, all laminated and everything." Rem said sarcastically.
"More importantly, gives ya free reign of the whole castle." Yakko told her.
Then Rem's own zaniness started kicking in.
"...BMX Jousting?" she asked with a hopeful gaze.
Now it was Yakko's turn to be flabbergasted.
"...Eeeeehhhhh, maybe." he replied. "C'mon, it's gettin' late."
He extended a hand to her and she took it. The pair disappeared into the castle as night descended.
XXXXXX
As if to give further proof that everything was going to remain mostly the same, the Quartet's bed chambers, though huge and opulent, was subjected to their antics. Wakko wasted no time in swinging from the chandelier that hung from ceiling like a chimp. His older brother went to one of the windows and pulled out a giant telescope from his hammer space that would be the envy of Galileo. Dot of course, was quite busy giving herself a manicure at a nearby vanity.
Rem heaved a heavy sigh and plopped herself right onto her own bed face first.
"Rem dear, why don't you join me?" Dot called out. "A good manicure will relieve all your worries."
Rem briefly considered it while the Warner sister blew lightly onto her fingers.
"...nah I'm good." the teen mumbled through her pillow. "I think I'll turn in, now."
"...To what?" Wakko inquired curiously.
"Dead from the neck up!" Rem ranted in a muffled tone.
Her peers exchanged glances before grinning and shrugging.