It's weird how much I hate the sun first thing in the morning, considering how much I love it when I'm finally up. It's always poking its way into my eyes, even when I've got the curtains pulled and my head buried in a pillow.
It's weirder, then, that I'm waking up before the first flicker of sunrise is even over the horizon. There's a haze of red to the room, but the sky is only beginning to stir.
A soft, cool breeze brushes through my hair, and my eyes open to a field of snow white.
Oh, yeah! Elsa stayed over last night. My face is buried into her rising and falling chest, and hers is snuggled into my hair.
Her cold breath feels magical on my scalp.
I can't help grinning. Something about having Elsa here and so close to me just sets my heart racing. She's still sleeping and isn't showing any sign of waking up soon.
It may be my new queenly regimen, it may be that Elsa sleeps in now more than she used to, but it's funny to me that our roles are reversed and I'm beating her awake. Well, not beating her awake -that'd be mean. I mean, out-waking-her-up… I guess?
A giggle comes up from my belly and I shift my head to her shoulder so I can gaze up at her sleeping form. Okay, maybe it's a little creepy of me, but I can't help but be enraptured by the sight. Elsa has never looked so peaceful in her life. Before she left for the wilds there was always that hint of tension in her brow she held as queen. I mean sure, I was always good at soothing it, but this… this is Elsa, truly at peace.
Her warm smile, her relaxed breathing, the gentle beating of her heart – she must be having a nice dream. I definitely don't want to wake her… I just want this moment to last for as long as it will.
I'm probably still grinning like an idiot, but what can I do to help it when everything about Elsa makes me feel so happy? I reach up with my hand and, as soft as I can, brush the loose hair draped over her cheek behind her ear.
Elsa shifts a little at my touch and her face is caught in the first red glow of the dawn. Her hair shimmers like gold, her cheeks glow with a blush, and it's the first time I'm realizing just how truly, incredibly beautiful she is. Well, not exactly the first time, but this… it's like I'm actually seeing the true Elsa for the first time. Content. Guard lowered. Vulnerable and exposed.
I can't help but have my breath taken away a little bit. Every time I see her now it's the same. My heart jumps, and I just want her to wrap me in her forever. I bring my hand back from behind her ear and ever-so-softly brush my fingers along her cheek. The way her smile spreads and she seems to glow in her sleep sets my heart trembling.
She feels like silk to my hand; flawless and softer than any down I've ever known. I can't help but wanting to snuggle into her arms and never let go. The cool kiss of her skin against mine gives soothing relief to the warmth of the comforters we're buried in, and she seems perfectly happy to enjoy our closeness too.
I take this quiet little moment to count how many faint freckles I can find hiding on her cheeks. I've noticed them before, but this is the first time I've ever been so close that I can see them. It's something I haven't been able to help since her coronation. My eyes scan for every little detail I've missed, and I just dedicate it to memory.
Okay, so that may be a little weird to do to your sister maybe, but heck – we were apart for thirteen years. You'd do weird things too when you missed someone so bad… right?
Elsa shivers a little as I stroke the back of my pinkie along her freckles, and I have to bite my lower lip to keep from laughing like a dolt.
I really should stop… I really don't want her to wake up and feel like she has to leave….
Unfortunately, Elsa's still the same light sleeper she was when we were young, and she starts stirring out of her dreams. She lets out a sigh and yawns before reaching up to stretch.
Her arms leave me for only a few moments, but they're moments I just spend wanting them back around me.
Ugh… what's the matter with me? Queen Needy the First… that's what they should call me….
Elsa's eyes flutter, and her deep blue gaze is glazed to a deep, enchanting violet in the sun's early glow. Her lithe body curls and twists… sensuously, and I really have to stop staring like this because I'm weirding even me out at this point.
She smiles sleepily at me, and I can't help but return it when I feel the butterflies flitting around in my belly.
"Good morning, sleepyhead," I whisper. No need to startle her, so I keep my voice soft.
Elsa stretches forward with her arms again, inhaling deeply and breathing out once more, then wrapping me in a hug and making the whole world right again. "Good morning," she replies, leaning in to nuzzle noses with me. Her cool breath tickles my lips, and I chuckle softly, feeling my cheeks heat up a bit.
"How did you sleep?"
"Mmm… deeply and wonderfully," she murmurs. I feel Elsa's feet brush past mine as she cuddles closer, and I shiver to the ticklish touch. She rests her head on top of mine and I nuzzle into her neck, planting a gentle kiss.
"You're welcome," I whisper in her ear, grinning to myself.
Elsa's chest rumbles against mine as she giggles softly and plants a kiss to my head. "Actually, it was the nice comfy bed, I think."
"Hey!" I know she's kidding – I can see it in my head before I even jerk back and pout up at her. Elsa covers her mouth to try and hide the fact that she's trying to not laugh out loud at me, but I can't be pretend-mad for very long. My pout morphs into a giddy smile all my own, and I brush my toes past the soles of her feet in retaliation. "Meanie…."
Elsa and I share I little laugh before resuming our snuggling. Why can I never get tired of being this close to her?
"And you?" she asks softly, scratching her hands up and down my back. The feeling is heavenly and I feel like I could just shut my eyes and drift off to sleep all over again. Not that I'd object to that in the slightest.
"Mmm… I never wanted to wake up…," I purr into her neck and hug her even closer. I nuzzle her and bite my lip. "You're a really comfy pillow."
"Oh?" Elsa asks. "So, it's I that will be blamed for a sleepy queen who likes to laze about in bed past dawn? My, what would the people think of me if they found out?"
I look up at her and give her the sweetest, most innocent little-sister smile I can manage. "Well, you are really, really cozy."
Elsa coos and pulls me into her arms again. "Oh, whatever am I going to do with you?"
I can't help fidgeting a little bit as she traces her fingers over my back, just shy of tickling. Instead I break out in goosebumps and feel my face getting hotter, my eyelids getting heavier.
Why does she have this effect on me? And why would I not trade it for anything?
Elsa's feet are cold but soothing as I mingle my toes with hers. She smiles as I feel the ball of her foot brush playfully along the sole of mine and feels me wiggle ticklishly against her. Then she's kissing me again, from my hair, to my forehead, on my ear, my cheeks and my nose.
I sigh as we nuzzle again, and nestle my face into her chest just above her clavicle.
"Mh lnph im hm mm hf mh…"
"Hm?" Elsa asks, turning her chin to peer down at me. I can feel her eyes on me, bewildered by my muffled words. "What was that, Anna? I'm afraid I couldn't hear you all the way down there," she giggles.
Honestly, I'm not sure if I want to repeat my words. What if… what if it's too far? I'm not even sure where the sudden urge came from except from the same place the need to be close to her – to be in her arms – came from. But right now, I feel… I feel my resolve crumbling under the weight of her playful smirk.
The stinker.
So I do the only thing I can think of, and cover my face with my hands before repeating, "Mh lnph im hm mm hf mh…"
Elsa laughs at me in that way that just cures every problem in my whole world. To my surprise she's pushing me onto my back and rolling on top of me. My wrists are pinned in the pillows and my sister's grinning expression is oh-my-gosh noses-touching close. The chill from her breath mingles with the building heat of mine, and my heart feels like it's trying to beat its way out of my chest.
Elsa stares deeply… hypnotizingly into my eyes, and I can't tear myself away from her.
I don't want to. I never wanted to….
I feel my toes and fingers ball up from the tension, only to feel it leave me as Elsa strokes a thumb along my hand. She finally frees me from her gaze by closing her eyes and leaning in, nuzzling her nose against mine.
"One more time?"
Her tone is playful… maybe even seductive. It's….
Aw, shoot….
"I like it when you kiss me…." I whisper, praying that somehow, she doesn't hear it.
I can see it in the way her eyes widen just a little, the surprise she feels. I couldn't have been that lucky. All I can do is freeze where I'm pinned as I feel her grip on my arms loosen slightly.
Time feels like it's holding its breath for a second. I don't know how scared I should be right now, but the way I can feel myself trembling under her, the way she just stares back at me, the way she just… doesn't do anything – ohmyGOSH, Elsa, please just do something; you're killing me! Tell me off, tell me you hate me, tell me you never wanna see me again – just please break me out of… whatever this is….
All I can hear for a second is the cuckoo clock ticking on the wall. She's hesitating. Then she shudders a little before giggling.
"Oh, Anna," she fawns. I feel her leaning closer, her nose slipping past mine as those soft, cool lips brush against my skin. I lose count of the number of little smooches she leaves on my face. It's ticklish, but in a good way. But with each one I'm left wanting more. Another kiss… just a little more…
Elsa returns to gazing deep into my soul and strokes my hair back behind my ear even as hers showers in a curtain of white all around me.
"It will take me quite a while to make up for all of those I missed," she whispers.
Then she's leaning towards me.
Now I know it. The urge. The sweet pain that's been building inside me all these years. Like lightning, the realization strikes me.
I want to kiss my sister.
Elsa's lips are so unbelievably close. Her breath sweeps over me, and how is it possible I feel this hot with an ice queen laying on top of me?!
I feel her lips on me again, and it's too much. I can't fight it anymore.
As my sister begins to pull away, I turn my head just the smallest bit, and I feel my lips brush past hers. The sensation is electrifying, and I feel Elsa freeze – literally. The temperature in the room absolutely plummets, and her eyes are wide in shock.
She doesn't move, and I'm too scared to. We're not even a millimeter apart. Our breaths swirl around each other, sending the flurries forming in the air dancing every which way.
I can't read her. I've never seen this… surprise before. Is it horror? Have I just ruined everything the two of us have managed to build?
My heart is breaking. The feeling of not knowing is killing me.
"E-Elsa…," My breath barely leaves me.
Something in Elsa's eyes changes.
"Anna…" she practically sobs, and tears fall from her eyes and down my face.
Elsa's trembling. I'm trembling. We're trembling. Together.
Then whatever it is holding us apart just breaks, and our lips meet – and I am utterly terrified. I could laugh, cry, pass out, but instead, I settle on focusing on the feeling of kissing my sister. The wrongness of this doesn't even enter my mind.
I don't care. Not now. Not when it feels this right.
If anything, Elsa's lips are somehow softer than the rest of her, and they become the center of my entire life in that moment. I can barely move; my strength is gone, and I can barely muster the energy to hold the kiss.
It turns out I don't have to, because Elsa is kissing me back. And then once more. Then again. And again. Each time I feel my need rise, and her urgency grow. Each kiss is better than the last and I'm drowning in a wave of euphoria.
Then I taste her as the kiss deepens, and I feel my whole body jolt.
Am I dying? Is that what this feeling is? If so, then I think I can rest peacefully. But it doesn't stop, and my eyes drift shut as I awkwardly try to give back to the exchange.
Finally, we pause and gaze into each other. My heart is pounding in my ears, and I cup my sister's cheeks in my hands, wiping away the tears that continue to fall.
Then the fervor continues, and we're kissing with more passion than I ever felt with Kristoff. All I feel now is heat and need.
"Elsa, I love you…," I utter between gasps for breath before hungrily leaning in for more. "Oh, Elsa I love you so much… please don't go… please don't leave me again…."
"Anna," I hear her whimper. "Oh, my darling—" Kiss. "—sweet—" Kiss. "—sweet little Anna. Never. Never. I swear I will never leave you again. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. For everything."
That's too much for me to bear, and I silence her with my lips again. The taste of her tongue is all I need now. There are no more apologies needed. I wrap my arms and legs around her so tightly that I don't think she could move even if she wanted to, but her focus seems on me.
And I cannot begin to fathom the strange elation rushing through me now. I care about nothing else except falling further into it and drinking in as much of it as I can.
In this moment, everything feels perfect.