Author's Note: Before we go on, I just wanna say that most of this was not only inspired by both series, but this lovely film analysis: r/movies/comments/4qm1ft/i_actually_kind_of_appreciate_the_transformers/
With that said, enjoy the fanfic and please fav/review. It's how these stories are kept alive.
Epithet Erased...frag my life. Just frag it all."
Barricade
Epithet: None (Transforms into a cop car)
* Decepticon Enforcer
* Plays "Bad Cop, Even Worse Cop" on the regular
* Having a really bad day right now
Pacific Ocean, 2009
Blackout's one working optic kept staring at the submarine wreckage in front of it as yet another starfish decided to make its home on his face. This was all he had left to remind him that his master, Megatron, was alive. But...why didn't he come for him? Why didn't those Constructicons rescue him as well as the other ruined Decepticons?! Unlike them, he was alive! Amazingly, that is.
True, no-one would really expect him to be alive. Not since those humans shot him in all of his weak-points, including right in the spike (don't ask). For a while, it seemed like he had gone offline, falling to the ground with his last thoughts being 'I failed' . Blackout didn't have much in the way of pride, but his loyalty to Megatron was absolute. To fail him in battle was enough to make him wish those humans went for his head a bit more thoroughly than the slapdash LUCKY hits they got on him.
And here he was. Trapped at the bottom of the ocean with the remains of Brawl and Bonecrusher. Why Barricade wasn't with him probably indicated he and Starscream survived. For their sake, he hoped they had remained loyal or they were going to fell the full fury of a resurrected Megatron. He should have been proud! Elated! His beloved master was back from the grave and was going to finally take down those meddlesome Autobots once and for all! Cybertron would no longer have to worry about their constant need to validate themselves after they lost the Great War!
But no. Megatron just left. The Constructicons just left. That infernal Soundwave's minicon had left. The only one he was glad had left was Scapel. Nobody liked Scapel and his idea of 'surgery'. He, of course, justified it with time being of the essence. If the Allspark was in Autobot hands, they could destroy the thing out of spite by shoving it into Optimus' chest or whatever their plan was. That would mean the end to all Transformers! He HAD to join his master with that thought in mind! For the Decepticons! For Grindor! For Scorpinok! For Cybertron! For Megatron!
But thoughts weren't going to release him from his own watery grave. All he could do now was rest for a bit longer and pray that they all didn't really decide to leave him for dead. That's when he remembered something his carrier once said. That miracles are real, but the best one are those you have to work for. That's what he would do. One little bit at a time, he would free himself and swim to the surface. Even if it took him a thousand years or even resulted in him being permanently offlined, he would do whatever it took-
BZIT!
Egypt, 2009...
-MISSION: ENSURE VICTORY FOR THE FALLEN-
-ALREADY IN PROGRESS-
-DELIVERY OF WHITWICKEY SIRE AND CARRIER COMPLETE-
-ALLY: RAMPAGE. STATUS: IN BATTLE WITH AUTOBOT BUMBLEBEE-
-RIP. TEAR. ALL HAIL SOUNDWAVE-
-SOUNDWAVE IS LAW. SOUNDWAVE IS LIFE-
-FAILURE TO COMPLETE WILL MEAN INSTANT SUICIDE-
-ENGAGING BUMBLEBEE. STEALTH HIGHLY RECOMMENDED-
-ATTACK. RIP. TEAR. DAMAGE FACE. INSERT SOUNDWAVE LAUGH HERE-
-WARNING: HOSTILE HAS NOTICED. BUMBLBUMBEBIHDSJL-
"NO!"
-DAMAGE TO SPINESPINESPINESPINESPINE-
"What's happening?! Let me go!"
"Kill him, Bee...kill him!"
-SOUNDWAVE IS SHUTTING OFF LINK. THIS MINICON IS OF NOMOREMONOENRESFKSJFLKSFSJFJGOIIOAJDJF-NO-MORE-USE-
"SOMEBODY HELP MEAAAUGH-"
BZIT!
Kenya, 2010...
The animals that called these plains home, if they could talk, would have raised a fuss with much more colorful language if they had to deal with the massive jet flying low every single day. It had been at least a year or so since the strange invader had started patrolling the skies, often accompanied by a larger and more terrifying beast of metal. The elephants, in particular, made their disstate even clearer. The moment that jet was coming around, the Matriarch actually managed to spray some mud into the air...
...and right into Starscream's face before he was forced to land. "BLECH! STARSCREAM TRANSFORM!" He yelled before landing without much dignity into the Decepticon hiding spot. Then again, one would be hard-pressed to call it a 'hiding spot', given that it was a bunch of barrels and torn fabric out in the open. How nobody was able to find them was a ringing indictment on how dependent humanity was on the Autobots nowadays.
"Master! Where is our master?!" That repulsive somehow-sentient head, Igor, demanded, running up to the downed and dirty Decepticon.
"Pleasant flight, Starscream?" Soundwave walked in, looking quite pristine next to his compatriots as always. Oh, how Starscream hated that Autobot-turned-Decepticon. He knew they needed all the help they could get, but hiring this psychopath? Even Rampage was more comforting to hang around and he was illiterate and dead to boot!
The Seeker growled, crouching down to feast on some meager bits of Energon his master had left behind. "No. I haven't been able to locate Megatron for many solar cycles! Without him, that Ark plan is completely useless!"
Suddenly, the extension of Soundwave's sadism, Laserbeak, flew in, making sure to reduce a vulture to giblets. "Whine, whine, whine...that's all you do! Any minute now, the humans will discover the Ark and, when Sentinel Prime awakens, we can continue it with or without that rusty fool."
Out of anger, Starscream aimed one of his machine gun attachments at the smaller and easily-breakable spy. "You watch your vocal processor! With Megatron gone, I'M effectively in charge and I say that we find him! Do you bolt-heads have anything better to do other than waste your time crushing these human bugs?"
"It is you who is wasting our time." Soundwave pointed at the Seeker's bird-like face. "We're free to do whatever we please. When Megatron abandoned us for that Allspark-"
"Which was real! VERY much real!" Igor pointed out in a rare moment of clarity before he started to lick his tongue around anthill. Pretty soon, he was running around screaming in agony as they bit around the appendage, leading Starscream to face-palm.
"As I was saying..." The former Autobot kicked back against the tree. "When he left Cybertron, it was I who kept things in order. I who helped integrate the losing army into our fold. You, on the other hand, kept fumbling, failing, and even crying for your school-femme crush."
That caused the diminutive second-in-command to balk and feel his face-plates heat up. "H-h-how dare you! My attraction to Megatron factors not in my decisions! Besides, he's not into mechs..." He added bitterly. "...unless you count that time with Optimus that we're not allowed to talk about."
"It was hilarious!" Laserbeak cackled, with Soundwave chuckling in agreement. "You know what? Go ahead. Fly in circles! You might even kill an Autobot or two if they don't kill you first! Take my advice. Start out with Jolt. Nobody cares about Jolt."
"Thanks for the tip...ingrate." Starscream's optic twitched before he clenched his claw. "One way or another, we will be reunited with our master and, with his guidance and MY skills, this war shall end. And I, as the only one with any loyalty around here, shall get the credit!"
"Me too! Master will be so happy!" Igor jumped into Starscream's claw, to which he groaned and just accepted he had at least one Decepticon on his side, even if it was this repulsive remnant of the Constructicons.
Soundwave just watched as the S.I.C transformed and flew into the air for a trip around the world again, takin Igor along in his cockpit. "Tell me. How much are you willing to be that he comes back with half of his wings hanging from his aft?" Laserbeak asked.
"An entire shipload of energon." He replied.
Mera's Apartment, Present...
She's been doing this a lot more often lately. Staring out her apartment window and watching as the fragile glass before her shattered every little bit more. Reminded her of herself, honestly. Strong on the outside, but breaking apart by something as weak as a soft breeze the next instant. The only thing was her fixation was based not just around her own self-loathing, but something else. Something she thought she'd never experience again.
A glimmer of hope. All centered around her new previously unwanted job as museum tour guide. The Arsene Amulet. If she could pull this off, which she was absolutely sure she could, she could find at least a chance of handling the blessing/curse her epithet brought upon her life. Both she and her partner had been asleep more most of the day, aside from that embarrassing tour with those snot-nosed brats and that imbecile of a chaperone. Even Indus had more braincells than that candy-bearded buffoon!
Suddenly, she heard a knock on the door. "Lemonade!" A cheery British female voice called out.
Groaning, Mera opened the door. Recently, she had an epiphany. Indus was loyal and strong, but utterly bereft of any knowledge as to handle things such as delicate housekeeping or taxes. So, the both of them hired a maid with what little money they had nowadays. Penelope/"Penny", the maid in question, also had an epithet, but she wasn't exactly a normal inscribed person. Not even a person at all, though she still had sentience, a humanoid body, and a soul.
She was literally an inscribed alabaster-furred cat, mutated into a curvaceous humanoid build by whatever force of nature had done such a thing. Mera didn't even know what breed she was. Siamese, given her sharp features? Didn't explain why here legs, whole tail, arms, and ears ended in dark magenta fur. Nor the large eyelashes and aqua eyeshadow. Wearing the traditional maid dress, she leaned in with her tray. "More lemonade, m'lady? Nya?"
Grumbling about how much cat hair kept getting dragged in, she just took it and sipped...only for the whole building to shake violently as if something had crashed into the side of it. It spilled all over her and even that was enough to rattle her fragile bones. "Son of a...INDUS!"
"Lady Mera! It wasn't me!" The dull-witted but big-hearted desert-born manservant called out from below. "It was the big metal thing that not even my BARRIER, which is my epithet, could stop in time! Forgive me for my failure! I will crawl into this pile of sharp rusted pile in shame!" There was a rustling noise, showing that he was very much going through with that. "It is here that I am glad I am not afraid of needles. That tetanus shot was worth it."
Mera just stayed silent, rubbing her temples together and praying that everyone would get right back on track so that the plan she spent weeks preparing for would just start without a hitch. "Pardon me, but we should probably investigate." The cat-maid received no response, just a scowl from her master. "Oh, very well. This seems like a job for me! Nya!" From her rather large cleavage (Mera was thankful that she managed to keep her enraged cries of "FAAAAAKE!" to herself), Penny pulled out a large wrench that began to glow with pink energy. "Away I go! Nya!" Wrapping the thing with her tail, she ran down the stairs towards the wreckage.
With nothing better to do than get Indus back on track, Mera followed, hearing her manservant let out noises of awe and wonder. "Indus! We don't have time for this!" She stepped out the door, only to see what exactly had crashed into her temporary place of residence. "What the crap?!" She honestly wasn't expecting the mangled half-dead corpse of a giant robot that resembled a helicopter (down to the rusted blades and other bits) in her backyard.
Blackout, the robot in question, looked around, his working optic starting to fail him while he looked around at the human walking around his frame. Damned he'd be if he let these insects pick him apart! He let out a pained bellow in his effort to stand, but to no avail. They at least had the decency to back away, but he was starting to get uncomfortable. Less with the mountain of a man poking at his face, but with the cold almost glass-like stare of the Earth-based femme. Something about her was...off-putting. Despite that, he still tried to move, only to fail again and again.
"He looks hurt!" Indus covered his mouth in empathy. "Don't worry, stranger! My name is Indus Tarbela. My epithet is BARRIER!" With that, a massive circular orange object out of nowhere lifted the Decepticon up, but he just slid off in a heap. "Well, that could have gone better, but A for effort!"
"This is ridiculous. It's probably some failed government experiment. Basically, useless for what we have in mind." Mera dismissed.
From behind her, Penny leaped towards the robot's face, examining Blackout and rubbing herself all over him. Okay, NOW what was happening?! His optic frantically tried to keep pace with the strange feminine creature, sensing her as a threat. "Goodness, gracious! You've been through the wringer! Nya!" She said proudly, confusing him even more as she lifted her wrench. "Bit of a fixer-upper. Nothing I can't handle! NYA!" She slammed her wrench down, striking him in the face and making him grunt in pain. If he had his weapons working, he was gonna-
He felt his face suddenly shift around, his other optic working again and his metal twisting and turning into his original self. As she continued to slam her wrench down on parts of his body, they too were restored, even regrowing lost limbs and systems. With the seventh strike, she balanced herself perfectly on his shoulder as he stood up for the first time in forever, stretching his arms out as he let out a mighty bellow. "It's...so majestic..." Indus exclaimed.
"And there you have it! Nya!" Penny balanced herself on her wrench as Blackout's face turned to her. "How do you feel, stranger? Nya?"
Blackout was at a loss for words. Before, he was beyond repair. A wreck beyond saving and, more importantly, beyond any usage to Megatron. But this feline-like being had not only fixed him with what he could only describe as 'magic', but she did it with seemingly no ulterior motive. He wasn't a bot of many words, but his code of silence came second when it came to answers. "Who...who are all of you? Where's Megatron?! Where are the Autobots?!" He leaned down at Mera, sensing her as the leader.
Despite trying to act cool and aloof, Mera was at a total loss. Not at Penny's abilities. All this incident proved was that taking the uplifted animal along was an optimal plan. It was being faced down with a giant killer robot that could crush her if it so pleased. She was ready to unleash her hated epithet on the thing, maybe jam a few glass shards through that ugly thing he called a body. But she had to remember. Everything had to be taken into account like...a distraction. That's when it hit her. "All in good time, Mr...?"
"Greetings, Mr. Robot!" Indus extended his hand. "My name is Indus Tarbela! My epithet is-"
"I heard you the first time and I don't care! WHERE. IS. MEGATRON?! WHERE ARE YOU TORTURING HIM THIS TI-" Blackout roared until he was smacked in the cheek by that same wrench. "Ow!"
"Hush! I didn't even hear a thank-you after we basically saved your life. Nya!" Penny held her head up high. "But, to answer your question...we don't know any of those things, except our names. Nya."
"Lies! This is Earth, so therefore...we are on Earth, right?" A horrible realization was dawning on the hound-natured Decepticon.
Mera looked at him like he was crazy (which he might very well have been). "Yes. And maybe, just maybe, we might be able to help each-other. But you have to listen to what I have to say. Otherwise, there goes the only people willing to give you the time of day."
"Lady Mera! Allow me!" Indus got in front of her before Blackout could utilize his sonic gun out of impatience. "This 'Megatron' person...are you like his bodyguard?"
Blackout stood proudly. "Yes. I will do whatever it takes to see that he is safe. And none of you will get in my way!" He quickly turned his head to Penny. "But there might be a spot for you in our ranks. Your skills are impressive and you...did save my life." The cat-girl just smiled before pointing to the hunk beneath him.
"Then, as our honor as bodyguards, we WILL help each-other! A debt has been created between the both of us! We have brought you back from the brink to seek your master again! But Lady Mera might need you for just a teeny little moment. Please! Will you, as a fellow bodyguard, show your honor in full?" Indus announced.
"What he said." Mera shrugged. For once, Indus' fixation on 'honor' and 'the code of bodyguards' was on the start to paying off in a big way.
Blackout actually seemed to consider his words. "Hmmm...normally, I'd call this ridiculous...you're humans. The ones who hurt my master...but you're right." He lowered his arms and bent a knee to get to their level. "I am Blackout. Decepticon interceptor and Megatron's most loyal servant. My mission is to protect my world of Cybertron by ensuring my master's victory. I will do only one task for you and, in return, you will help me, even if it means I must destroy everything in my path."
Indus grabbed his claw and shook it vigorously, surprising the Decepticon with his strength. "Accepted! Now, away we go!"
"Not yet!" Mera shouted before composing herself. "Okay, 'Blackout'. What can you do aside from...doing...uh...giant robot things?" Her mind was so one-track onto her goal, she dropped any questions as to where he came from, what was a Decepticon, and who the hell was Megatron.
Penny was crawling all over the mech, almost tickling him in the process. "This is simply amazing! Two rotary blades, one for flight and the other for presumably combat! A blaster that fires offensive sonic waves! An EMP generator!" She was now on his face, looking into his red optics and grasping his face. "Are you an angel?! Nya?!"
He really wasn't prepared for the friendliness of this one creature, but again. She healed in him no time at all. She would be certainly useful in his trek. Not to mention, he figured, without his friend Scorpinok and brother Grindor, it would be nice not to travel alone for the duration of his new adventure. "Erm...no." He picked her up by the scruff of the neck, setting her down gently on the ground. "So, tell me. How did you repair my body and my very spark in such record time?"
As she explained with gusto, Mera looked to the police station in the distance. There was no way she was going to let ANYTHING stand in her way. Why not give the police force a reason to ignore her in favor of a much MUCH bigger problem?
Sweet Jazz Museum Rooftop, a few hours later...
Ravage's single optic opened in surprise when he found himself in an entirely new location. Obviously, this wasn't the sun-kissed lands of Egypt. He saw a metropolitan city around him, all under the cover of night. It was remarkably more quiet than he would expect. Honestly, it felt nice to get away from the chaos of everything that happened beforehand. No war. No violence. Just a peaceful landscape of stone and steel.
He didn't feel fine in the slightest. The 13-year old minicon was anything BUT fine right now. Shaking violently, he fell to his side and he grasped his head, whimpering as he felt many strange feelings. He no longer felt that connection to Soundwave that pretty much defined who he was. His spine ached horribly, still feeling remnant of the grip of Bumblebee on it. But most importantly of all...he was alone.
Every time he tried to contact his fellow Decepticons, he received radio silence. He was directionless, in the wrong place, and utterly confused. Plus, he never expected to speak on his own accord again since he was 9 in human years. He continued to worriedly seek out a signal, running along the building in circles before he accidentally stepped on a faulty part of the roof. With a yowl, he fell through the newly made hole, flailing about in the air.
Much to his relief, he fell into a fountain with a beautiful angel statue in the center. Contrary to popular belief, he loved the water, even during his link with Soundwave. He could swim more gracefully than any of his Decepticon brethren and enjoy it all the same. However, now was not the time for fun. He crawled out slowly, looking around to see if he had alerted anybody. In fact, the whole place seemed to be rather empty. The perfect opportunity for him to slip out through the glass doors in front of him.
Except when he zoomed towards them and prepared to shatter through, he stopped. Was...was there a point to doing that? When he got outside, what was he supposed to do?! No Decepticons, no Autobots (as far as he knew, in which case, thank The Fallen), and no mission. Opening the tightly closed doors as much as he could without triggering the alarms, he took a deep breath. "HEEEEEELP!" He cried out in childish desperation.
Alas, nobody listened. Nobody was up and about, even though a child's screams should have alerted at least one passerby. "Somebody!" He cried out again before backing away slowly after two minutes. "Anybody..." He lowered his head and his claws slunk away from the doors in defeat. Miserably, he sulked around, spiraling into depression as he considered how well and truly abandoned he was. The loss of his link was the loss of his purpose. There was no other place to go.
That's when he finally noticed he wasn't the only one alone in the museum. Standing right in front of him was a little African-American girl with a bear hoodie sweater, a backpack, and stars in her hair (?). She was holding onto a phone, having tried to make a call to arrest herself earlier. You know that part. How he didn't notice her could be chalked up as his mind not being in the right place until now, where he perked up and just...stared at her.
Molly was freaking out even further on the inside. As if being trapped in a museum and breaking the law in the process wasn't enough, she was now face-to-freakish face with a giant robot tiger! In fact, it was some grotesque metallic parody of a big cat, complete with a twisted blade-like attachment on the tail, some weapon-pack on his back (kind of like a death-metal backpack), and a singular red optic above the jagged metal teeth. Truly, something that could only come out of somebody's nightmares.
But she had also listened to him scream out in terror. Despite being as big as a Siberian Tiger, he sounded like she was about her age. This monster from out of nowhere was a kid like her! As he stood and titled his head at her, Molly cleared her throat as she hung up. "Nice kitty?" She nervously took a step, causing the Decepticon minicon to flinch back and growl. "It's okay! If there's anybody who should worry about getting hurt, it's me. Just...don't eat me?"
Now, Ravage just looked at her funny. "Eat you? Why would-"
SMASH!
And now, their real trials and tribulations begin.
New York, Unknown Universe...
It was a bright summer's day, as it always was in this universe. Everything was at peace. There was no hunger, no terrorism, no winter, no war. Just total peace. This was a good world. A better world. A world where everybody knew their place. A world...for Theresa.
Theresa's a good girl. Theresa's too perfect. Theresa is the ruler of the entire Earth because she's very important. Theresa's word is ABSOLUTE.
To truly get an idea about what this world was like, imagine a boot being stomped onto a human's face...forever. And having to listen to non-stop praise about a girl with an alien lifeform inside of her who was slowly losing her grip on reality, even more so than she was already. Theresa Sullivan Hartley. A name that would live forever only because the world had stopped caring at all. We'd go into detail, but now is not the time for that yet.
Because a wholly new resident had arrived. Or, really, drove his way to one of the more empty ghettos that were piling up under Theresa's watchful eye. It was a rusty Mac Truck with some spikey protrusions and a tanker filled not with fuel or weapons, but with small bits of energon. Chittering and screeching noises emanated from the front of the truck, which was filled with strange monkey-like robotic beings that looked on the verge of dying. Sparklings, to be specific.
The truck drove along the empty street, past all of the posters praising the so-called 'Empress Theresa' and how she would be dedicating a new holiday to herself and the 'perfect' world she had managed to make. Slowly, the truck began to shift and creak in a rather painful-looking way until it started to take the shape of a hunched monstrosity of a machine, clad in a large piece of drab brown cloth and with a futuristic shotgun holstered on his back. The worst part about him was that almost half of his face was gone, the wound infested by many annoying parasites that he would crush out of boredom/spite occasionally.
This monster growled at everything around him. Humans...how he hated them for the trauma they put him through. How they sided with his enemy mindlessly. He didn't know where he was or if his enemies occupied this section of Earth as well, but he was sure he was going to hate it all the same. But, if he just gave those humans time, maybe they'd find Sentinel already? Initiate that 'Dark of the Moon' plan they talked about many MANY cycles ago?
But that didn't matter for now. The Sparklings called out to him from below, forcing him to scoop them up in his arms. If there was one thing he wasn't leaving behind, it was the main reason to why he went looking for that damned Allspark in the first place. To save his race. His people. His children. No matter how cruel or terrifying his actions were, he knew he had an actual purpose.
One that he knew he failed the moment Optimus allowed that WRETCHED human to send that Allspark into the Decepticon's chest. All of those years of being stuck in the ice and ripped apart by the humans were for nothing. The loss of his master...his creator...that was just another knife to jam into his chassis. Now, stuck in an unknown location and unable to corral the active Soundwave, he was truly lost. Life had effectively defeated him and he knew it.
"All hail Megatron." The Decepticon leader bitterly said as he plodded along on his own two feet, not caring if any humans noticed him. Cocking his shotgun, he was prepared for anything at this point. If he had to walk all the way from here and back to his remaining troops, 12 Primes help him, he would do so.
At least, until his sparklings began to make a fuss. "Yes, I know you are hungry, my fragile ones." He was going to reach into his holster where all the energon was stored until he turned to his right to see a dilapidated diner. Sighing, he made his way towards there. If it meant the ones he considered precious would survive another day, resorting to human-made food was just as good as any option.
If only he knew the path this would take him...
"We'll be right back with Epithet Erased. Nya!"
Penny
Epithet: Repair
* Mera's newest pet-I mean servant
* Could put the lemonade industry out of business
* She does machines (and might wanna do Blackout in another sense)