φιλία

Virtuous love, expressed as loyalty to friends, family, and community.

Upon returning to D'Qar after the attack on Starkiller Base, Rey was immediately recruited into meetings with ranking Resistance officers. Despite their victory, there was little time for rest. Battle tactics and logistics were discussed at length. It felt as if everyone involved had a different strategy for combating the First Order. Eventually it was decided that she, as the only Force user, would be sent to train with Luke Skywalker on Ahch-To. She and Luke would be the last hope for the Resistance.

Days after her return to D'Qar, General Organ summoned her to her private office. Han and Leia were both waiting for her. The pair of war heroes showed their age, looking nothing like the austere general and rogue smuggler she had come to know. It was in that moment when she understood that everything she knew would change.

"Rey, please sit. We have much to discuss."

The tension in the room was palpable. General Organa sat behind her desk as Han stood at her side, his hand resting against her shoulder. An act of reassurance, but Rey couldn't decide who needed it more.

"Before you travel to Ahch-To, there are things you must know. Tell me, what do you know of Kylo Ren?"

Rey tensed. Of course, he had been discussed at length during the meetings, but she heavily edited what she shared. Han knew the truth. And now, it seemed, so did Leia. However, she wasn't sure what all the general knew. She would need to tread carefully.

"Not much. I only know what I witnessed on Starkiller."

She glanced at Han for guidance and took a deep breath.

"I know I wasn't completely transparent with the other officers, but I didn't withhold any pertinent information. I promise!"

Leia heaved a heavy sigh and raised a hand to halt Rey's ramblings.

"This has nothing to do with strategy meetings and what you left unsaid. This has everything to do with what you know. It is imperative that you are completely honest."

"I understand. Anything you ask, I will tell you."

Leia nodded in assent.

"Given your recent contact with him, what is your impression of Kylo Ren?"

"My impression?"

"Yes. What did you sense from him?"

Rey took a moment to ponder the thought. She sensed many things from him. Rage and loneliness were the most prominent emotions. But there was more to him than that. She couldn't place exactly what it was, but there was something else. He had released her after all.

"He's complicated. When I was in his mind, I could feel his anger and his loneliness. He's insecure. He forced me out before I could see much more. But, in our connection, I can feel something else."

General Organa's expression reflected her confusion.

"Connection? What connection?"

Rey's anxiety increased with every passing moment under Leia's scrutiny.

"I … I can't really explain it. Thinking back, I felt it the moment I saw him. When he pushed me to focus on the Force, the feeling was amplified. I could feel him in my mind … "

Rey was shocked it was Han interrupting her.

"You could feel him? Like when he searched your memories?"

"Not like that at all! It's more like there's this spot in my mind that's his. He's just there. I … I can pick up on … feelings. Like physical sensation and emotions. They have to be strong, but I can feel it."

"And now? Can you feel anything now?"

She puzzled at Leia's question. Since her return to D'Qar, she hadn't attempted pressing toward his corner of her mind. There had been too many things going on. But now, as she focused on that dark part of her mind, she pressed against him. It was only a moment before she felt him nudge back. Her eyes snapped open and focused on Leia.

"I can feel him. He's curious. It's like he wants to know why I'm reaching out."

Rey pressed more firmly against him in her mind. It took heavy concentration, but she could feel him responding to her. The connection between them felt muted at their distance, but she could feel it. Under the curiosity, there was that warm thing she felt before. She gasped.

"His conflict! I can feel it. There's light in him."

Tears gathered in the general's eyes. Her voice was shaky.

"Rey. I'm not speaking to you as General Organa. I'm speaking to you as Leia, the mother of Benjamin Solo."

At Rey's puzzled expression, Leia continued.

"You know him as Kylo Ren."

Rey's gasp seemed to echo in the silent room. To say that she was shocked by the revelation would be an understatement. How had the child of two of the galaxy's most decorated heroes, and the prodigy of Luke Skywalker, descend so deeply to the dark side?

"Your son?"

"Yes, Rey. I want my son to come home."

Anxiety was rapidly replaced by pity. All the tiny, disjointed pieces of information slowly fell into place.

"I understand."

The rest of the meeting passed in a blur. Both Leia and Han expressed regrets for their actions that led to the fall of Ben Solo. Despite their love for their son, neither had been able to save him. But now, both wanted nothing more than for their only child to return.

Rey wished that she could give them the hope they so fiercely wanted. They had become the parents that she never had. She would give them anything. She told them of her capture and interrogation, including him setting her free. Leia's hope was a tangible thing and Han sagged with relief.

It was with a heavy heart that Rey told of their battle. The last thing she wanted was to further upset the parents grieving for their missing son, but they needed to know the truth. She was pleasantly surprised when both spoke their gratitude for sparing his life.

When she had arrived on Ahch-To, Master Luke was hesitant to train her. He sensed darkness within her, and she understood his fear. Leia had told her of Ben's fall in great detail. She knew he had destroyed the temple and murdered the other Padawans. And while she would never admit it to Leia and Han, she wanted to hate him even for the pain he caused.

Several months had passed as she trained on Ahch-To. Months since she had last seen him in the flesh. Months since they fought in the snow on Starkiller. Months since she carved his face in two and left him bleeding in the snow. And over those months, their connection through the bond grew stronger with each passing day.

It started slowly. During meditation, she could feel a tingle of him against her mind. She didn't ignore it, but she didn't press toward the sensation either. It was just there, a tickle against her consciousness. A press of his mind against hers, as if testing her, and then it would fade.

She kept the feelings hidden from Master Luke, knowing he would not approve. But as time passed, the instances of contact grew more frequent. Instead of a press against her mind during meditation, she would feel emotional sensations. It would occur randomly. A bout of inexplicable rage while practicing her forms. Unbearable loneliness as she prepared her dinner. Then came physical sensations. Phantom pain as Luke taught her the ways of the Jedi. It was like a never-ending barrage of sensation.

The first time the bond flared fully to life could only be described as an out of body experience. Sitting in her lonely stone hut, the Force began to vibrate around her like static white noise. Everything seemed to fade as her senses focused on something. Suddenly, there he was, sitting across from her in the small space. Fear and instinct warred within her as she reached for the blaster and shot him through the abdomen.

Only, he was uninjured, sitting shocked before her as the hole in the wall of her hut smoldered. She rushed outside to investigate her surroundings, only to turn and see him standing before her once more.

"You will bring Luke Skywalker to me."

She stared at him in angry confusion as he stretched his hand toward her, attempting the mind trick. He appeared to be as confused as she felt as his hand dropped back to his side and his jaw worked in thought.

"You're not doing this. The effort would kill you. Can you see my surroundings?"

He was so casual, standing there before her looking around. He turned back to face her. She raged.

"You're going to pay for what you did."

She spat the words at him in anger, only growing more frustrated by his stoicism. He didn't seem bothered by her presence at all. It only fueled her fire. His voice was too calm as he spoke.

"I can't see yours. Just you. No. This is something else."

At that moment Luke appeared in the doorway of his hut, staring at her in confusion. She was standing in the middle of the settlement when she turned to regard bond between she and Kylo Ren began to fade. Before he vanished completely, she heard his whispered question.

"Luke?"

The single word hung in her ears as the world around her snapped back in focus. Their connection had certainly changed. She was willing to bet that it was growing in strength along with her. Shaking herself back to reality, she made a pitiful excuse to Luke about her blaster misfiring during cleaning and retreated back to her hut.

Several nights later, the bond opened again. She was crossing the craggy peaks of the island in search of the chasm that had been calling to her when the familiar static of the Force surrounded her. She paused her steps, but did not turn, hoping he would simply vanish.

"I'd rather not do this now."

Her voice shook slightly as she spoke. She spent a significant amount of time thinking and meditating on the bond between them. It puzzled her. And more than that, she was puzzled by her feelings about him. She desperately wanted to hate him, but being able to sense him so keenly made that significantly more difficult.

"Yea, me too."

Despite his quiet voice, her hackles were raised. Questions she was dying to ask plagued her mind. As she learned more about the man he once was, she only grew more confused. She resolved herself to the conversation before turning slowly to face him.

"Why did you hate your parents?"

She trailed off as she took in the broad expanse of his bare chest in the pale moonlight. She turned her head slightly, trying to hide her reddened cheeks.

"Do you have something … a cowl or something you can put on?"

He didn't seem to acknowledge her discomfort as he stood before her. Refusing to give him the satisfaction of seeing her so flustered, she did her best to gather her wits and begin again.

"Why do you hate your parents? Give me an honest answer. You had parents who loved you, who gave a damn about you."

"I didn't hate them."

She was almost frenzied in her questions as the rushed out of her and his calm answer fell over her like the icy waves that surrounded the island. She didn't understand. A choked sob escaped her as she tried to speak.

"Then why?"

"Why what? Why what? Say it."

She was agitated that he was making her put words to her thoughts. He forced her to lay her insecurities bare before him. This was his inquisition, not hers. She hated how exposed she felt.

"Why did you abandon them? I don't understand."

"No. Your parents threw you away like garbage."

Although his voice was calm, his words tore through her like a knife. She tried to argue that they didn't as hot tears rolled down her cheeks, but the words sounded hollow.

"They did, but you can't stop needing them. It's your greatest weakness, looking for them everywhere. In Leia and Han, now in Skywalker. Did he tell you what happened that night?"

She listened carefully to the words he wasn't saying. While everything he spoke was true, she couldn't help but wonder if he felt like he needed his own parents. Is that where his rage had come from? But, his question about Luke caught her off guard. Of course, both Leia and Luke told her about the destruction of the temple, and she confirmed as much to him.

"No. He had sensed my power, as he senses yours, and he feared it."

She could see the memories, his memories, dance before her like a holofilm. She could see the rage in Luke's eyes and feel Ben's fear. But she couldn't believe what she was seeing.

"Let the past die. Kill it if you have to. It's the only way to become what you were meant to be."

The connection between them dropped just as quickly as it had begun. His words hung in her ears. What could he possibly have meant? She shook herself free of the feeling and continued on her way toward the chasm. She only hoped that she would find more answers there.

It was only when she had returned to her hut, cold and wet, that the bond opened once more. It echoed around her as he came into focus, sitting across the fire. In her emotionally exhausted state, she poured her soul out to him. Tears streaked their way down her cheeks as she told him about the cave she discovered.

"I should have felt trapped or panicked, but I didn't. It didn't go on forever. I knew it was leading somewhere. That at the end, it would show me what I came to see. I thought I'd find answers there. I was wrong. I'd never felt so alone."

"You're not alone."

"Neither are you."

The words tumbled out of her and she was powerless to stop them. The fire did little to warm her as she dried beneath the blanket she pulled around her shoulders. Even though she had done most of the talking, she couldn't help feeling like they had both laid themselves bare. Raw nerves were flayed open for the other to plainly see.

"It's not too late."

She stared into his dark eyes with fiery intensity as she leaned forward and offered him her hand across the fire. She watched him hesitate for a moment before he slowly pulled the black leather from his hand. He kept his eyes focused on her as he reached across the fire.

The moment their fingers met, galaxies exploded around them and visions flashed before their eyes. She saw it so clearly. They stood side by side. Their combined strength unmatched. She knew he would turn away from the darkness. She just had to give him the right push. She searched his face as their fingers caressed and she looked for the right words.

But everything came crashing down. Master Luke burst through the door of her hut bellowing for them to stop. Before she could process the scene, the stone walls crashed around her. Ben was gone. She and Luke stood in the sheets of rain among the ruins.

"Is it true? Did you try to murder him?"

Luke's rage was unlike anything she had ever seen. He tried to deny it, but she shared Ben's vision. She knew what happened and she lashed out. She struck her master with a heavy blow.

"Rey, please! Let me explain."

She didn't want to hear him. It was all his fault. She saw it. Ben hadn't turned before Luke tried to kill him. It was Luke's betrayal that pushed him over the edge. Ben Solo could have been saved if only Luke Skywalker tried. She rained furious blows against the old Jedi as he struggled to defend himself.

"Listen please!"

He used the Force to still her hand, mid strike. Doing his best to maintain his composure and keep Rey from lashing out further, he told his story. He admitted that his original intention was to kill Ben, but it was a moment of weakness. He resolved himself to help Ben when he woke. Things only escalated too quickly to disarm the situation.

Rey was still enraged by Luke's actions. The truth behind his words did little to change the fact that it was him who forced Ben to the dark side. She could hear the regret in his words and see the pain in his eyes.

"He's not gone, Luke. Ben is still there. It's not too late. I can turn him."

"Rey, you don't understand. He's too far gone. Ben Solo is dead."

"You're wrong. He's still there. I've seen him. I've felt him!"

"You're willing to be seduced to the dark side by a pair of pretty eyes."

His words stung like a slap to the face. Straightening her posture, she attached her saber to her belt before turning toward the cliffs where Chewie was staying with the Falcon.

"I'm going to bring Ben Solo home. You won't stop me."

"I won't, Rey. I hope you know what you're doing. May the Force be with you."

She heard the resignation in his voice as she walked away. She wouldn't turn around. She refused to show him how afraid she was. She steeled her resolve and, with Chewie's help, left the atmosphere of Ahch-To and launched into hyperspace.

Everything happened so fast. They reached the Supremacy more quickly than she would have liked. The plan was sketchy at best, but she placed her faith in him and the visions they shared. But, when her transport pod opened, he stood waiting with a platoon of stormtroopers and restraints. She wondered if she made a mistake.

She knew where he was taking her, and her apprehension was getting the best of her. She tried to reason with him. She tried to get him to turn, but he was resolute. And now, here she was.

All she could see in her peripheral vision was red. Her body ached from Snoke's attacks and her knees were sore from kneeling. Snoke's voice taunted from somewhere behind her, but the words felt like white noise. The sensations were similar to the Force-Bond moments she shared with Ben on Ahch-To.

But that shouldn't have been possible. They were here. Together. She was on her knees staring up at him with fear in her eyes. He glared down at her wearing the face of Kylo Ren. If the situation wasn't so dire, she would laugh at how easily she could tell the two apart. They were different people in her eyes.

But, no. Now, Ben Solo was hidden away and Kylo Ren towered above her. She should have been more afraid than she was. She knew her death was imminent. But the eyes of Ben Solo stared at her from the face of Kylo Ren. It was the first time she really saw them merged as one.

The tickle in the back of her mind started again. The bond was slowly coming to life. But, not really. This didn't take over her surroundings like the bond did. This was contained to that little part of her mind that she had labeled 'his'. It was his voice, not Snoke's, that filled her ears.

"Trust me. Everything is going to be ok."

She placed more faith in those words than anything else in her entire life. She forced herself to remain calm. Even if she was to die, she would greet death with bravery. She wouldn't cower before Snoke.

The bond gave her tunnel vision. All she could see was him. All she could focus on was the stoic mask that fell over his features, revealing only Ben Solo's eyes. Eyes that screamed at her to trust him. All she could hear was his voice repeating in her ears. 'Trust me.' All she could feel was the flow of the Force around her. And suddenly, everything snapped into focus with startling clarity.

"... and kills his true enemy!"

Snoke's voice bellowed from behind her. Between one instant and another, she dropped to the durasteel floor as Snoke's force hold on her faded with his death. Her hand shot out to catch the glowing blue saber that ended the Supreme Leader of the First Order. She rose. Her eyes met those of Ben Solo. And then, all was quiet except for the hum of their lightsabers.

For a brief moment, the entire galaxy paused. They held each other's fierce gaze as the Force hummed around them and their bond flared to life. There was no need for words. The only way for either of them to survive would be to join forces. Failure was not an option.

The battle began in a flurry of movement. Six of Snoke's Praetorian Guards fell heavily upon them. Glowing sabers pierced red armor and crackling vibro weapons swung through the air. In the commotion of the fight, a calm settled over them. Rey and Ben fought as one, completely in sync with each other.

Their bond swirled around them, connecting them as they fought. The Force allowed them to sense each other's movements and know when the other needed assistance. They both knew, that in the moment, each would willingly sacrifice themselves for the other. And, in the end, when the final foe fell, and weapons were thrown aside, he approached her.

"The fleet! Order them to stop firing! There's still time to save the fleet!"

Rey turned to him with panic in her eyes as she watched him draw nearer. Through the view ports of Snoke's throne room, she watched the slow decimation of the Resistance. After everything, she couldn't bear their loss.

"Ben?"

Tears gathered in her eyes as she watched him. He was nearly upon her now. His face, the face of Ben Solo, was unsure as he held a black gloved hand out toward her. He swallowed heavily, voice calm as he spoke.

"It's time to let old things die. Snoke. Skywalker. The Sith. The Jedi. The Rebels. Let it all die. Rey, I want you to join me. We can rule together and bring a new order to the galaxy."

And while his words were confident, his voice shook with nerves. Through her own anxiety and sadness, she knew how afraid he was. She could feel how deeply he feared her rejection.

"Don't do this, Ben. Please, don't go this way."

This wasn't how it was supposed to be at all. He was supposed to join her! She saw it in her vision. She saw them standing together, united as one. They were supposed to be together. This wasn't what she saw. But, then again, Luke tried to warn her. Visions weren't always what they appeared to be.

"No. No. You're still holding on! Let go!"

His chest heaved with his shouts. His fury was building, along with his fear. She could feel his doubt rising. The darkness was creeping in. She couldn't let him do this.

"Do you want to know the truth about your parents, or have you always known? Have you just hidden it away? You know the truth. Say it."

She choked on the sob threatening to rip its way from her throat. She knew what he was trying to do. And she wouldn't let him. She wouldn't allow him to drag her into that darkness with him. If their vision was shared, as they both believed, she knew she couldn't allow herself to fall.

"They were nobody."

"They were filthy junk traders. They sold you off for drinking money."

His words stung, but she did nothing to stop him. She couldn't. Her brain scrambled for any way to turn the tide of this confrontation. She needed to. But his voice just kept on speaking, clouding her mind and her judgement.

"They're dead in a pauper's grave in the Jakku desert. You have no place in this story. You come from nothing. You're nothing. But not to me."

And that was the crux of it. That was what everything boiled down to. He wanted her by his side, but his fear that she would leave for something better gnawed at him. It ate him alive like some great monster in the darkness. But slowly, his hand rose toward her again as his dark eyes pleaded with her.

"Join me. Please."

It was spoken like a command, but his voice begged. She was so torn. She wanted him. She wanted to stand by his side. Her vision showed her what they could be. She could feel it in her core, that little sensation that told her exactly what she needed to do. But could she do it? She took a steading breath, locking her fists at her side.

"Ben, please. Let the fleet go. Let the fleet go and I'll take your hand. They're useless now. There's no more than a few dozen left. Please, let them go."

He shook with rage while his jaw ticked in thought. The hand extended toward her clenched into a fist. She cringed at how quickly the conversation deteriorated. Acting on impulse, her hands shot out and wrapped securely around his.

"Yes, Ben. Yes. I'll join you. All I need for you to do is to let them go. Please."

He stared at their joined hands for several long moments, considering her request. Even through the leather of his gloves, she could feel the warmth of his skin. Through their bond, she could feel his resignation to her request. And the Force sang with their decision.

"If I let them go, you'll stay?"

She nodded, and he moved quickly to give the order. Their shared vision was correct after all. She saw it more clearly now. They would each have to sacrifice to achieve their full potential. This was the beginning.