He could already hear the ringing in his ears, the piercing screams that rose every time he stopped. Anytime that he rested, anytime he wasn't fighting, hurting, killing for the Arena's amusement.

It had been with a sense of dread that Lance had realized he'd become dependent on the fights. He waited for the next one, and the next, and the next; every muscle tightening the longer it took.

Once, they'd waited almost a whole week between a fight. Just to see him struggle, to see him beg at the end of it.

"Ask to fight and you shall Paladin," they'd told him. He'd refused, with every fiber of his being, he'd refused.

At first.

Then days passed, the guards had barely fed him, and he could hear the ringing start in his ears.

But he could deal with it. He had 4 siblings and even more squealing nieces and nephews. He could push through the noise, he'd done it before. He would not break.

And then it had grown.

The ringing had grown from a high pitched hum, to a roaring yell. And they told him, "Ask to fight and you shall,"

He said no. He kept saying no. He screamed it at them, just to hear his own voice above the neverending scream in his ears.

But he could tell his body was itching for the fight. Like an addict with a fix.

Just one fight. Just to make it stop. Just to move, to do something.

But he denied the urge, that horrible darkness that screamed to be let out. He denied it until he couldn't anymore. Until it seemed to take up every single thought he had. Until he could barely think past the noise of it echoing through his brain. One thought could still get through.

"I'll do it,"

"Say it again, Paladin,"

"I said fine! I'll fight for you! Make it stop! Just let me out! Let me fight!"

Nothing.

"Please," It damaged his soul just to say that one word. And yet, when they took him to the Arena and he fought, when he killed and the buzzing of his mind finally settled, he couldn't find it in him to regret it.

And now he could already hear the ringing in the back of his head. Could already hear it growing. Growing as he tried to rest for just one second.

It rose, screeching in his ears and still growing. And it brought with it only one word;

Fight.

Shiro stalked down the prison hallways of the Arena ship. The floor was littered with deactivated sentries, which their EMP had successfully destroyed with the rest of the ship's controls. He kicked past the metal bodies. He checked every cell, ushering any remaining prisoners towards freedom. He was only looking for one prisoner. One very specific, very important prisoner.

Lance.

Shiro would tear apart the whole ship if he had to. To find him, to find that laughter, the personality that could lift the room, even in the middle of a war. They'd missed it more than any of the team would ever admit.

"Shiro, the Blades have cleared the battle room and prisoner levels one and three."

"I'm already on level two, Pidge." The battle room. A nice way of telling him the Arena was empty.

"What if he's not-"

"Don't even say it, Pidge," Hunk cut in from beside him, Shiro had almost forgotten the boy was even there. The lack of frightened comments and anxious rambling had made Hunk all that much more invisible. Hunk with no Lance was different too, and it was just another missing piece without Lance.

"Fine. I'm sorry. Be sure to check the room at the end of the hall. It looks like it's the med-bay for the prisoners," Pidge's comm crackled as she ended the conversation.

She was right, the last room did look different. And it was definitely bigger.

But it was also definitely not the med-bay.

The knives and the blood on the floor told them exactly what it was used for. Torture.

Hunk gagged beside him. Shiro scanned the room, blatantly avoiding the table and weapons, he didn't have time to get pulled into a flashback. Not when he had a mission.

His eye caught on the space in the back of the room. Small, but enough space for a medical pod. He stepped towards it hesitantly, but his gut still squeezed.

"Hunk, I think-" But Hunk was already moving around the room and had found the pod too. "Shiro, there's a healing pod back here! There's someone in it but the EMP we used took down the systems."

"I've got it," Shiro shoved his own problems down and moved to help Hunk.

"I can't get it open, we'll have to break the glass," It was too opaque to be real glass and without power, it would stay that way. Still, it broke like glass when Shiro punched it with his prosthetic.

And Shiro's heart stopped when the shards fell away.

"We found him," Shiro vaguely registered Hunk say it, then yell it into the comms. "We found him. Guys, we found Lance! He was in a pod, but we found him, and-"

Shiro snapped out of his daze to catch Lance as he fell from the pod. He weighed almost nothing, looked like skin and bones and roughly refined muscle.

"He's still asleep, Hunk, we need to go. Now!" If Lance was in a pod, that meant he was injured, that he was hurt badly enough that he would've died without it. And now that the pod was broken...

"Yeah, okay, let's go! Come on, I've got the map to the hangar." Hunk took off down the hallway, Shiro carrying Lance and running behind him.

"Coran, we're gonna need a pod as soon as we get to the castle. Lance might be injured,"

"Is he okay?"

"I don't know, he's still sedated. Shouldn't he be awake by now, Coran?"

"If the pod's cycle was stopped early, he's still going to be in stasis, but not for long. Get him here, quickly. If he wakes up with an injury, it could- ."

"We're loading into the Black Lion now. Everyone get back to the Castle!" Shiro couldn't bear to listen to the possibilities of what could happen, "Allura, tell the Blades we've found him,"

"Already done, Shiro," Shiro paused when he had to lay Lance down in Black's cockpit, only reassured when Hunk sat right next to him.

Shiro pushed Black's speed back towards the castle. He could hear Lance groan behind him. "Hunk-"

"Shiro, he looks so different. He looks-"

"I know." He did know, he'd seen the hardness in Lance's face, visible only if you looked. His hair was cut differently too, it looked vaguely like an undercut, but it was old, starting to grow out of the style. Not even to mention the blaring difference of the prisoner rags, he could already tell Lance would've complained about how they clashed with his skin tone. Would've.

The moment Black's feet touched the ground, Hunk was already carrying Lance down the ramp at a run towards the med-bay. Shiro was right on his heels the whole way.

Lance groaned again, and they could hear the pain behind it.

Coran was waiting for them the moment they burst through the doors. They were putting on the medical suit when the rest of the team came running in a moment later. Everyone stopped short at the sight of Lance.

"Is he-?" Pidge started, her voice uncharacteristically sad. All of their eyes were drawn to the scars as he lay on the medical table.

"He'll be alright, Shiro, help me get him in the pod." Coran finished putting the suit on and lifted Lance's body over to the prepared pod. He gave him to Shiro so he could turn on the machine.

They watched the pale cover slide over his body and the readings pop up on the screen.

Time didn't seem to move anymore.

Because Lance didn't look like Lance. He looked like a shadow, an empty, dark version of their friend, of their teammate.

All they wanted was for Lance to be okay. For him to be playing a terrible practical joke. For him to finally break character, to laugh and as he talked about how "Oh you should have seen your faces! They were priceless!"

The last few months had been empty without that laugh.

To just hear that laugh. Just once.

But he wouldn't

They had him back, finally. And yet, they doubted they would ever have that Lance again. The Galra would have crushed him, crushed every bit of his carefree spirit, every remnant of that amazing, loving person. And left nothing in its place.

Lance looked like he was in pain even in the pod. His face scrunched up and tension laced through his body.

"Alright, all of you, out." Coran turned back to the team gathered around the pod, and time started back up again, "All of you need to rest."

"I'm not leaving him here alone, what if something-" Keith started, his stubbornness rearing its head.

"Nothing's going to happen, he'll be okay,"

"Will he though?" Hunk was almost too quiet, his eyes pinned to the floor.

"What the-? Hunk, why would you say that?" Pidge whipped around at him.

"We all saw the scars. Some of those were definitely not accidents and we know he was in the Arena; Pidge, what if he's gone? What if our Lance is gone? What if my friend is gone?"

"He's not! We got him back! He's fine!"

"Be quiet!" Both of the kids went silent at Coran's parent voice, even Keith shut his mouth from preparing to enter the argument. "I'll not have this team falling apart now, not when we are so close to being all together again. Lance would not want that. He wouldn't want you to be arguing, or working yourselves to exhaustion. You all need to eat and get some rest. Our boy is tougher than a Balmeran's scat, so you're just going to have to trust he'll make it through this."

"Coran-"

"No, Princess, I'll not hear another word against it. I'll stay here and monitor his readings until you're all back in tip-toppity shape. So out! Out, I say!" He started motioning with his hands, shooing them out of the room and towards the doorway.

BeepBeepBeepBeepBeepBeepBeepBeepBeepBeep

"What in the-" Coran stopped pushing them out and ran over to Lance's pod.

"What's wrong Coran? Why is it beeping? Is he okay?" Keith was the first to rush back in, the rest of them right behind him.

"He's waking up! I saw his heart rate was a little fast, but he shouldn't be waking up, it's too early!"

"Why isn't the pod keeping him asleep? Is it malfunctioning?" Allura was pressing buttons on the pod's screen cover, trying to figure out what was wrong with the pod.

"It should be working, but-" the woosh of the pod opening made everyone shut up, holding their breath as Keith moved in front of Allura to catch him. He caught Lance by the shoulders, expecting the weakness that often came with the healing pods.

What he got instead was a knee to the stomach. Lance was suddenly a whirlwind of punches and movement, each one hitting a surprised paladin. Except Shiro, Shiro knew what this was, he'd seen the glazed over look in Lance's eyes. He'd seen it in himself, too.

"Lance!" Nothing, Shiro continued to dodge the blows, "Lance, you're not in the Arena!" Shiro managed to land his own hit to Lance's side, surprising him enough to bring him to the ground. "Lance, please, you've got to wake up." Shiro held his wrists, pinning him down, "You're safe, now. You're at the Castle, you don't need to fight."

That seemed to finally give him pause. Just for a second.

"The Castle.." His eyes cleared just a bit, enough to finally see the people around him, "Shiro?"

"Yeah, buddy, it's us." Just hearing the sound of his voice, no matter how rough, seemed to heal everyone's hearts, just a little. "You're at the Castle, we rescued you. You're safe now."

"I'm at the castle?"

"Yeah, Lance,"

"Really, actually here?" The way Lance said it troubled Shiro with the implications. Implications that he didn't believe he would be saved.

"Of course Lance. We saved you,"

"F*ck!" That was the last thing any of them expected Lance to say.

"What?" Hunk looked like he was in shock at Lance's reaction

"Crap! Crap crap crap!" Lance started trying to push Shiro off of him again, "Dios mio, Shiro, get off of me. You're like a ton of bricks," For a 'ton of bricks' he sure got out of it quickly. But Shiro'd be lying if he said he hadn't missed those small jokes and the accidental use of spanish every now and then.

Lance jumped up from the floor and moved towards the medical cabinets in the room. Rummaging through them recklessly, swiping stuff off the counters and pushing things out of the cabinets. He was muttering and cursing under his breath, "Where is it? They've got to have one somewhere in here,"

"Lance!" And ignoring them apparently, too. "Lance!"

"Lance, stop it!" This time it was Keith who basically yelled his name as he stomped over and grabbed Lance's wrist. Lance stopped dead in his tracks the moment Keith touched him.

Lance yanked his hand back immediately, and Keith stood just as still as the rest of the room. None of the team dared to move, afraid they'd scare Lance away like a frightened animal. Lance could be going into another flashback, they didn't know what any of his triggers were yet. They couldn't help him yet.

Lance's eyes scanned Keith, catching on the hilt of his blade holster.

"Finally!" Lance grabbed the knife in seconds, moving to a mirror with his hands wrapped around the blade's edge.

"Lance!" He lifted the tip to his temple as Shiro jumped up to pull the knife away from Lance. Keith helped hold him back, though it took both of their strength to keep him in place.

"Lance, please! You don't know what you're doing! You're hurting yourself!" Shiro tried to catch his eyes again to bring him out of it but they roamed across the faces of the team watching in horror.

"No, you're right Shiro, that'd never work. I need…." He stopped at Coran, "A scalpel!"

"Lance, my boy, why don't we just calm down for a second-," Coran took a step forward, his hands up in a placating gesture. They needed to get control over this situation. Fast. It was spiralling downwards quicker than any of them could keep up with.

"Calm down?" Lance pulled against Shiro and Keith's hold, "I can't calm down! That's like the last thing I want to do-! Ah! Mother trucker!" Lance stumbled forward, clenching his head in his hand. He looked like he was in pain. Yet he ignored the slash on his palm and the blood trailing down the side of his face from the scratch on his temple. The sudden shift in movement caused the brothers to move forward to try to support him, accidentally loosening their grip in the process.

Lance took the opportunity without hesitation, ripping himself from their hands with surprising speed and strength.

"I've got to go," He started running for the door, "I've gotta get out of here," Lance ran from the room, barely taking a second at the doorway to choose a direction.

Everyone followed after him, calling his name, trying to get him to just stop or slow down just for one second.

But Lance ran track every year in highschool and it showed. He sprinted down the halls, frantically turning corners and hastily choosing random directions.

"I can't find it! Gah, I can't f*cking remember! Where is it?! I have to get out!" He paused for brief second at an intersection before rushing down in the direction of-

Allura yelled on the comms as she chased after him, "PALADINS! Cut him off! He's trying to get to the hangars! I don't think he knows what he's doing! Be careful!"

Shiro ran through the hangar shortcut, pushing ahead of the group but still making sure everyone else was following him.

He reached the doors first, seeing Lance narrow his eyes when Shiro blocked the hangar entrance.

But he didn't stop. Didn't even slow for a fraction of a second as he ran in a dead charge at Shiro.

He was a second away from tackling them both to the ground when Lance leapt to the side, making into the hangers.

Only to run straight into Allura. She grabbed him, harder this time, her alien strength easily gapping the difference. They couldn't afford to lose him now, not again.

Shiro saw the team come up the hallway behind him and turned to face Lance again, for all too many times in such a short period.

"Lance! Please, do you know where you are? Do you know who I am?" If Lance was having another panic attack, the team could agree that Shiro would be their best bet for getting him out of it.

"Of course I do, Shiro!" The hidden venom in Lance's voice startled Shiro, "I'm stuck and lost in this freaking castle and I need to go!"

"Why? Please, Lance just stop for a seco-"

"I can't stop! I have to keep going! Always! I have to keep moving and fighting and I can't ever just stop! I haven't been able to stop since you guys left me behind on that Galra ship 3 f*cking months ago!" He was breathing hard by the end of the yell, his words only seeming to catch up with him when the team gasped.

"Sorry Shiro, I didn't mean-,"

"No," Shiro hung his head a bit, "It's okay, you're right. We shouldn't have left you behind." They had all spent more than one night awake with guilt over what'd happened.

"Hardly, I chose to take that path and I chose to be on the other side. You did all you could."

"Hermano, we should've-" Hunk stepped forward with tears in his eyes.

Lance winced and grit his teeth, stumbling forward again before straightening harshly, "This is sweet and all but I've really got to go."

"Why," Pidge asked, her voice betraying the anger on her face for desperation, "We just got you back from the Galra and now you're trying to leave! Why?!"

Lance's eyes narrowed with a cold hardness to them, "Because they chipped me like a f*cking dog and I'd bet you they've already called Animal Control on my ass."