Author's Notes:
Hi, guys! I can't believe that there are actual people out there who want to read whatever I write on a Saturday afternoon (yes, those are my weekend plans, am I not super fun?). So, are you real, or are you bots? Anyway, I wanted to thank you for your reviews and for following this story. I spent half an hour yesterday staring at my laptop and wondering whether I should post it or not. So your reviews have encouraged me a lot! I know these are hard times for all of us, all over the world, so the idea that I might be helping someone stay at home and pass the time (and enjoy themselves!) is amazing to me.
I want to clarify three things about the story:
First, I realised as I read your comments that you might have thought this was P&P told from the beginning. Although it's a logical conclusion, I'm afraid that's not the path I took. This story starts the summer following Georgiana's failed elopement, after Darcy has been rejected. The first (idk… ten?) chapters will be a retelling of everything that happened until then from Darcy's POV. Lady Anne and Mr. Darcy will only be hearing it from Fitzwilliam. After that, well… you'll see! I wanted you to know this because I realised that the first part could be misleading. I hope you still enjoy it!
Second, someone asked about what had happened between Georgiana and Wickham. I will not dive too deep into that (or not at all?) in the story, mainly because I imagined that everything happened a lot like the book with minor alterations: Georgiana wanted to go to the seaside, and was considered old enough to go alone with her companion, Mrs. Younge, as a way to give her more independence now that she was older. There, she met Wickham, and since no one had told her he had been cut from his godfather's protection for his drinking, gambling, and seducing of young ladies, she trusted her childhood friend only to be discovered about to elope by Fitzwilliam who was trying to surprise her with a visit. Now she feels her family trusted her and thought her mature enough when she wasn't, so she's disappointed in herself, and lost all confidence. Wickham, then, went through life saying that young Mr. Darcy poisoned the elder Mr. Darcy's ears with lies (in a very King Claudius' way).
Third, I have also been asked whether Darcy would be very different from the book now that his parents are alive. Yes, and no. I know that now there isn't as much responsibility on his shoulders, but I imagined that with his father being alive, Darcy wants to prove himself to him and show him that he can manage everything and be worthy of the Darcy name. So, he ended up keeping everything inside him and not sharing the weight as he could have. My Darcy (yes, it feels great to even write it) will have to learn to open up his heart to his family and share the burden. Btw, things are going to get a little angsty for a while.
Sorry for the long note, but I wanted you to know the backstory. Anyway, I will be posting often, so stay alert! Take precautions, be safe, and stay at home!
Jen
The sound of a carriage approaching pulled Lady Anne from her thoughts and made her turn around as she was about to enter her home. She was rewarded with the sight of the familiar carriage bearing her husband's crest and the d'Arcy name. She waited until the gentlemen descended and walked to her.
2.
"Dear Aunt! What a pleasure it is to see you!" said her favourite nephew, Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam. He wore his usual amiable smile on his face as he kissed her hand.
"It has been some months, Richard. I hope that you will stay at least a few days," Lady Anne responded.
"I am sorry, Aunt, I cannot. Duty calls. Although Fitz has told me, in a very threatening tone, that I should at least stay the night at Pemberley before heading to Matlock."
"I am glad he did," she smiled at Richard's pet name for her son. "You must certainly stay the night. Will you be staying long with your parents?"
"Only a day, so you see why I must leave. Mother will kill me if she does not get some of my time."
Lady Anne's smile vanished the second her eyes settled on her son. Fitzwilliam was standing behind Richard, staring at Pemberley with a forlorn expression on his face. It was clear to her that his mind was miles away and not holding pleasant thoughts. She was not surprised by this, but completely discouraged to find her son still so deeply affected—as the last time she had seen him—by reasons unknown to her.
"Indeed, Richard," she finally said, looking back at her nephew, "'tis most unsettling when a son does not take time for his mother."
Fitzwilliam seemed to realise he had been remiss and his sad eyes turned to his mother.
"I apologise, Mother. You are completely right." He took his mother's hands and kissed her cheek. "I trust you are well?"
"I am very well, Fitzwilliam, and you?" she asked tentatively.
"I am in perfect health," he replied.
Lady Anne noticed the evasion, but said nothing as she guided both son and nephew into the manor.
"Good evening, Lady Anne, Master Fitzwilliam, Colonel," Mrs. Reynolds curtsied. "If you wish, gentlemen, Rogers has prepared baths for you both, so you might freshen up after your travels."
"Thank you, Mrs. Reynolds, you are efficiency itself," Fitzwilliam replied warmly to the only housekeeper he remembered at Pemberley.
"'Tis my pleasure, Master Fitzwilliam," Mrs. Reynolds blushed at the compliment from the man she had known since he was four.
"You go ahead, Darce, I would like to greet my uncle," Richard told his cousin and then offered his arm to his aunt as he led her to Mr. Darcy's study.
"Is something wrong, Richard?" Lady Anne asked, suspecting her nephew's true motive.
"Indeed, Aunt, something is very wrong, but I wish to speak to Uncle, too," was the only reply she received.
"Richard! Come on in, Son!" Mr. George Darcy said as he greeted his nephew in his study. "I take this means Fitzwilliam is also here, where is he?"
"Uncle, it is very good to see you. May I have a moment of your precious time, do you think?"
"Indeed! Take a seat," Mr. Darcy said, pointing at the long settee placed on his study; the one he used when speaking to his own family about serious matters. The fact that Richard had not waited for them to be in the drawing room to approach him meant serious business indeed. "Would you like your aunt to be here? And what about Fitzwilliam? Should we summon him?"
"Oh, no! Aunt should stay, but Fitz will have a fit if he heard what I came here to say," Richard smirked at his pun.
"What about Fitzwilliam?" Lady Anne asked worried.
She had known—of course she had known!—that something was terribly wrong with her son, but she was made most anxious by the possibility that something truly dreadful could be the cause of his despondency.
"That is what I wished to ask you, Aunt," Richard said in a sober tone.
His tone frightened both parents immediately, for Richard was a very jovial and good-humoured man. His sudden serious countenance and sombre air was a definite sign of alarm.
"You know Fitz is more a brother than a cousin to me," he continued. "And I doubt that there is anyone in the world who knows his frame of mind better than I do."
Lady Anne opened her mouth, as if about to disagree, when her nephew offered a small smile.
"Oh, do not take offence, Aunt," he added, "but as he wants you and uncle to be proud of him, he is in his best behaviour when he is with you. You are his parents; I am his equal. I have seen him in awful moods and fits of temper. Do not be alarmed, he does not show his true moods to everyone, but I believe I am the lucky one who he can be himself with."
"I always believed it to be the case, Richard," Mr. Darcy commented. "And I am glad he has you to confide in."
"That is the catch, Uncle. He does not confide in me. You know he is very private and secretive about everything, especially his emotions. I think it would be best to say that I have learned to read him and his moods, not that he offers any insight into them."
"Please, carry on," Lady Anne begged.
"I am sure you have noticed... it would be impossible not to... there... there is something very wrong with him, but he will not tell me what it is. I have tried every single form of persuasion I could think of, I have tried to guess, but that only irritates him and leads me nowhere and I... have nothing. I have absolutely no clue what could possibly be so wrong for him to look as if life is over."
George Darcy sighed and leaned back in his seat, rubbing his temples. "We noticed, of course, but he has not confided in us either."
"We do know about the time it started," Lady Anne commented.
"I thought you might help with that. Since I am not with him for weeks or even months at the time I thought you would be able to narrow down the possibilities," Richard explained.
"He was disturbed last summer over Georgiana's... incident," Lady Anne offered. The colonel was the only one besides the Darcys who knew what had happened at Ramsgate, but she still did not like to be explicit.
"Oh, yes, he was disturbed and angry with himself, but he was mostly fine, this I know," Richard said.
"Then, in October, he spent almost two months with Bingley in Hertfordshire," Mr. Darcy added. "He was very distracted when he returned. I noticed half the time he was not attending to a word I said."
"Indeed!" Lady Anne agreed. "But it was more than that, there was a certain melancholy in his eyes, often combined with lapses of brooding and frustration. But then it was a distracted melancholy, whereas now it is more as if he were consumed by misery."
Richard smiled with amusement. "You are excellent with words, Aunt, I could not have described his mood better!"
"Is it possible that he quarrelled with Bingley?" Lady Anne asked.
"I do not think Bingley has the capacity to enter a confrontation," Mr. Darcy replied. "Besides, he has met him a few times in London since then."
"Still, that was nothing in comparison to what it is happening to him now," Lady Anne added.
Richard sighed. "Yes, I know. I pretended to be asleep while we were in the carriage and he... he dropped the mask. You know, the one he usually wears to scare the ton and to command respect. It does not fool me for a moment, but when he believed I was asleep and did not have to pretend... I was scared of what I saw in his expression. That is why I am speaking to you about it."
"Richard," Mr. Darcy hesitated, scared of the answer, "what did you see?"
"The look on his face... of complete devastation and anguish... I believe I had never seen such sorrow and despair in anyone, much less my cousin!"
Lady Anne almost sobbed. Mr. Darcy grabbed her hand as she took deep breaths to calm herself.
"I know it distresses you, Aunt, but I am at my wit's end. I would do anything to help him, but I do not know how."
"What—" Lady Anne swallowed another sob. "What could possibly have happened?"
"I do not know," Richard shook his head. "He looked as if someone he held very dear had died, but as far as I know, the only people he loves—you, Georgiana, Bingley, my parents, my brother and I—are in perfect health."
"Was he so miserable when you visited Catherine?" Mr. Darcy asked.
"No... no, actually..." Richard thought for a while. "Actually, although he was his usual aloof and detached self in company, there was a moment, the last few days, when I believed him to be almost happy."
"And what happened afterwards?" Lady Anne asked.
"I sure do not know! You will forgive me, Aunt, but as much as I dread our annual visit to Aunt Catherine, it is hardly so bad to be so affected."
Mr. Darcy almost smiled at his nephew's impertinent joke.
"Was my sister too insistent on her ridiculous idea for him to marry Anne?" Lady Anne asked.
Richard shrugged. "No more than usual, and he bears it well by now. He just ignores her comments most of the time."
Lady Anne sighed. "Then, I truly cannot think of anything."
"You have spent more time with him in the last few months than I did," said Richard. "Have you noticed any other difference in mood or behaviour?"
"Yes, actually," replied Mr. Darcy. "He has been working more than ever, but it is more than that. There is a significant change in his behaviour to others in the lasts few months that I found peculiar."
"What do you mean?" Richard asked.
"He visits the tenants more, he asks his own servants for advice, and he is, in general, more respectful towards them. Not that he was disrespectful before, I always thought he would be a good master, but he seems closer to them now, more involved," Mr. Darcy explained.
"And in London," Lady Anne added, "he took the time to speak to the merchants and tradesmen, asking for the health of their wives and children, remembering names he never would have bothered to remember before. And at balls and gatherings, he was more social and open, and he spoke and danced with more people than ever!"
"That is strange indeed!" Richard exclaimed. "And you have no possible explanation for this unusual behaviour?"
"None at all," Mr. Darcy confessed.
"Would you..." Richard hesitated. "I know he will not want to speak, but will you try?"
"Of course," Mr. Darcy nodded.
Richard looked away in contemplation for a while until he turned his eyes back to his uncle.
"May I be bold, Uncle?" he asked. "I do not mean any disrespect."
"Indeed, Richard, be frank."
"Fitz has this ridiculous idea that he must bear everything alone, and that everything is his responsibility. Maybe he feels as if he has to prove himself to you. I ask you to speak to him freely, not as master and mistress of Pemberley, not as Mr. Darcy and Lady Anne Darcy, but as his mama and papa. I do not mean you should treat him as a child, as he would be very offended if you did, but do let him know that he can share his feelings with you. I think he has forgotten."
Lady Anne was now wiping her tears with the handkerchief her husband offered. The thought that her dear son would not trust her enough to confide in her was most distressing.
"I do not wish to pain you, Aunt," Richard said warmly, taking his aunt's hand.
"I know, my dear," she replied. "And I thank you for being the brother Fitzwilliam never had."
"Indeed, Richard, we will do our very best to follow your advice."
A sudden knock interrupted the conversation.
"Yes?" Mr. Darcy asked.
"May I come in, Father?" Fitzwilliam's voice was heard.
Lady Anne hurried to dry her tears as her husband replied in the affirmative.
"Georgiana sent me to recover Richard, and I belie—," the look of indifference he had donned on his face turned to one of concern as his eyes settled on his mother. "Mother, are you all right?" he asked tenderly, holding her hand.
"Indeed, Fitzwilliam, do not worry about me. I am very sensitive these days," she said as cheerfully as she could. "Now, let us join Georgiana, shall we?"
I do not own any Pride and Prejudice properties, nor do I make any money from the writing of this story.
Characters and situations, created by Jane Austen, are taken from Pride and Prejudice and from the Pride and Prejudice (1995) adaptation created by Simon Langton and distributed by BBC.
This story is released under the GPL/CC BY: verbatim copying and distribution of this entire work are permitted worldwide, without royalty, in any medium, provided attribution is preserved.