Heyo! This drabble is a little sadder than the first, but I still had a good time writing it! Hope you enjoy!
There were nights when Anakin could fall asleep as soon as his head hit his pillow. His quarters could feel like the only peaceful place in the world, and the room would become a sanctuary where he could feel at ease for once. But then there were those nights… The nights where his heart felt on fire, and all he could do was pace back and forth in the dark of his room, trying to get a hold of his wandering thoughts.
The night they returned to the temple from the Zygerria mission was one of those restless nights. Anakin was all alone in his quarters, thinking over and over again about the horrors of slavery that that terrible mission forced him to relive. "It's okay." He told himself. "You aren't there anymore, you're safe." But his feelings betrayed him.
He clenched his fist in anger. He closed his eyes, imagining how it would feel if that fist was around Watto's neck. It would feel so good to end Watto's life. He could wrap his hands around that monster's neck. He would choke the life out of him, and it would feel so good. So perfect to just get revenge on the terrible parasite that hurt him and his mother for years. He imagined watching the light leave his eyes.
A tear rolled down his cheek as he continued to pace. No. No! He wasn't like this. Having these thoughts were wrong, they were just wrong! He felt so helpless, so trapped inside his own raging mind! "Snap out of it!" He told himself internally.
••••••
Ahsoka tried not to feel him, but it was impossible. Her master's force pressense from the other room was so loud, so clear in her mind. "Don't intrude." she told herself quickly, pulling a pillow over her head like that would somehow shut him out. He was in pain. In terrible pain.
"Common, you have to do something." She told herself.
Soon enough, Ahsoka couldn't take it anymore. She got up and ran to Anakin's quarters.
"Master?" She asked as the door opened. Anakin was sitting on his bed, leaning over and burying his head in his hands. Ahsoka could still feel the emotional agony coming from deep inside him. He didn't look up at her, or really even acknowledge her existence.
"Master?... Anakin!" She snapped.
He finally looked up. There were tears in his eyes. "Oh, uh- Snips." He greeted quietly. Ahsoka put her hands on her hips. It was uncharacteristic for him to be quiet and she didn't like it.
"It's l-late. You should go rest." Anakin said, putting his head back in his hands.
"Same goes for you." She shot back.
"Ahsoka. Go."
She didn't move. Did he honestly forget how stubborn she was? "No. Not until I know you're okay."
Anakin looked up at her. For just a second his strong-masterly persona slipped and he looked small and vulnerable. Like an animal that had been kicked too many times.
"She'll help you. Let her help you." He thought to himself. Though he quickly snapped himself out of it and regained his act, forcing his tired body to sit up tall.
"I'm okay."
"No, you're not. Even without the force I can tell."
Anakin sighed. He didn't need her help. He could do this alone, just like he always had. "Snips, go back to bed."
Ahsoka just walked up to him, and got down on her knees so she was at eye level with him.
"Why is it that you can never accept help!? Is it that you want to look strong or something? You don't need to prove yourself, because you already are!" Ahsoka yelled, letting out all of her frustrations with him.
He flinched a bit at her outburst, making her sigh and lower her voice. "Look, all that I'm saying, Master, is that if you let me stay we can work this out. Whatever it is, we can fix it." Ahsoka begged him. She looked him in the eye.
He couldn't do it anymore. The second her too-big, innocent eyes looked into his, his barriers all but crumbled and he started to cry again.
Anakin hated crying in front of people. It was a sign of weakness, of giving up, but maybe he was weak. He let out the sobs that had been bottled up for so long.
Ahsoka rushed to his side, sitting up on his bed next to him. "Can I hug you?" She asked a little awkwardly. Anakin sniffled and nodded.
She wrapped her arms around his trembling form. She held him close to her and let him cry into her shoulder.
"It's a-all s-so terrible." He whispered.
She knew that he was talking about slavery. "I know. The things I saw on Zygerria were horrible."
"I d-don't want to l-let my past co-control me… but it j-just does." He admitted.
"There mu-must be s-something wrong with me."
Ahsoka subconsciously held him a little tighter. "There's nothing wrong with you, Anakin." She said, using his real name.
"You went through things that no one here can even imagine, and look at you." She said. "You're a general, a Jedi Knight! You're loved by every man you've ever led out on the battlefield, and they all look up to you. I look up to you."
Anakin let out a few shaky sobs, but for once he didn't disagree with or argue with her. "You r-really think that?" He finally asked.
"Everyone does."
They fell quiet, and Ahsoka just held him, sending him loving waves now energy through the force as he cried.
Of course his force presence was still stressed, it always had been and always would be, but Ahsoka felt that he had relaxed a bit.
"Thank you, Snips." He whispered.
"No problem, Skyguy."
I hoped you guys really liked that little Drabble thingy. :) I have some more ideas in mind, and I'm excited to get to writing them. Love you lots! :)
