Mycroft formally introduces Sherlock to the HH Ferndale branch and gets his first task as regional manager. John tries to tie down his Blue Cross commission. Philip does not like his new boss.

Camera cuts to Sherlock sitting in his office.

"So, Holmes & Holmes Inc is my father's company. The second Holmes stands for my brother. He took over as Chief Executive Officer as daddy started phasing himself into retirement. I never wanted in. I don't even understand why you want to make a documentary on H&H when there are tons of exciting companies out there. Maybe you got rejected by them and H&H was the last option? No, you're working under a celebrated filmmaker, and you yourself have been abroad," Sherlock sighs, and leans back in his chair, "The only possible explanation is that my brother is paying you a sizeable amount to spy on me. . ."

"Okay, pretend as if you're telling me something important and then shake my hand. Quick, man!"

Greg looks puzzled, but Sherlock grabs his hand and starts shaking it vigorously, adopting a pleasant demeanour, "That's a great joke, uh. . . what was your name again?"

"Greg Lestrade. HR."

"Yeah okay, come in, brother dear!"

Mycroft Holmes saunters in with the air of a man who rules over everything as far as the eye can see. He is followed by his colleague, who smiles slightly condescendingly at Sherlock.

"Oh great, you've met Greg already. I trust everything is well?"

Lestrade extends his hand, "Hey Mycroft, I'm fine. Irene." He nods politely at Mycroft's beautiful colleague.

Camera cuts to Greg in the conference room.

"Irene's okay," Greg wipes at his forehead with a napkin, "I mean, she makes my blood go cold, but she's fine, I think. We were together at the corporate office till last year—oh no, I don't mean together, I mean, we worked together. Then I accepted a transfer here. . . I'm not sure what happened in between. She seemed to make some valid points about the Ferndale branch, even with the decrease in pay. Then I realised I wanted a change in scenery after my divorce. I just couldn't stand seeing my ex-wife in the office everyday. Everything feels better here now."

"Greg, what a pleasure. How is everything? How are you holding up?"

"Good, good," Greg nods uneasily.

"I'm sorry we couldn't have you in HQ for Sherlock's interview last week," Mycroft simpers, "But Steph was there, so things went very smoothly. Come now, Sherlock. Let's meet our employees."

"You mean the slaves?" Sherlock quips, "Sure."

Irene frowns.

Greg looks at camera and shrugs.

Camera cuts to Greg in the conference room.

"Oh God," he buries his face into his palms, "We are going to get sued!"

We follow Mycroft, Irene, Sherlock and Greg out in front of the reception. Everyone turns around to look. Mycroft clears his throat, just in case there's anyone who is not aware that he is going to make an announcement.

"Hello everyone. I trust you all had a great weekend."

Philip sighs audibly. Mycroft ignores the sound and prattles on.

"As you all know, Ed Truck retired last week. He was a great asset to the company, a fearless leader, and above all, one of the smoothest salesmen I've ever known."

A wave of chuckles passes through the room. Mycroft seems quite pleased at himself.

"We wish him all the best for his retirement, which I'm sure he looks forward to spending with his lovely wife and children. Now I know, it was quite difficult to fill his shoes, as some of you who applied for Ed's position might know. We at H&H always expect a lot from our employees, but that's only because our customers expect the best from us. We are not Staples. We are not Office Depot. We are not Hammermill. We are Holmes & Holmes. We do not do things halfway. We do not treat our customers like the numbers on a balance sheet. We need to see that sort of rigour in our salesmen and saleswomen, in our accountants, in our supplier reps, in our customer reps!"

Camera cuts to a livid Philip Anderson in the conference room.

"What a load of horse shit! Rigour, my arse! That job should have been mine! I'm the best salesman in the company! Every year since 2002 I have got the Salesman of the Year award!"

"You know what?" Mycroft walks across the room to Accounting department, "Let's have a round of applause, for our accountants. It is their dedication, their hard work, and Sally Donovan's eminent leadership of the Accounting department that led Ferndale branch through many a tough times!"

Camera cuts to an exasperated Sally Donovan in the conference room.

"Typical Mycroft. Make a mess of things and then patronise people by clapping at them! I'm the head of Accounting! The only female head of a department here. The only black female head of any department across the entire company. That job should have been mine."

"And Martha," Mycroft turns to Martha Hudson and points at her, then extends his arms, "don't think that I've forgotten you!"

He saunters over to the break room door, "Ladies and gentlemen, in a couple of months we'll be celebrating Martha's twentieth anniversary with H&H. She started as a travelling saleswoman, and has been our senior supplier relations rep for the last five years, isn't that right, Martha? Give her a big hand!"

Camera cuts to a laughing Martha Hudson in the conference room.

"You know what's going on here, don't you?" Martha shakes her head, wrapping her shawl tighter around her, "He's trying to placate me, because he knows the job was practically mine. That's all this ridiculous clap session is."

She subsides into another violent fit of laughter.

"Why did I ever think that they were even considering me the job? Ahahaha!"

"But of course, I digress," Mycroft returns to the reception, glowing with the validation and working towards the climax of his big speech. "We have some exceptional people in this branch. And only someone who has been groomed in H&H's values from the moment he learnt how to walk, someone who has been a part of everything that H&H has done, every decision that has steered H&H towards its path of glory, can take care of this branch's special needs."

Camera pans towards Molly, who leans on one hand, completely bored. Greg catches her eye and does a subtle 'hi'. Molly's mood is visibly improved, but then she spots the camera and looks away guiltily.

"And who better than to take care of my favourite branch than my own brother, Sherlock Holmes."

Mycroft starts clapping, but his enthusiasm is clearly not shared by the rest of the employees. Scattered applause fills the room. Whether Mycroft has noticed this is not apparent from his happy face, as he places a hand in the small of Sherlock's back and pushes him forward. Mycroft has done his brother a great disservice, stealing the thunder for himself and leaving his brother to pick up the pieces of his disastrous announcement.

"Erm. . . thanks for that Mycroft. I uh—paper is good. . ."

He steals a glance at John Watson, who is looking at the quartet impatiently, his Blue Cross sale still incomplete due to repeated interruptions.

". . I—uh, I've had the—uh, chance to interact with some of you," Sherlock massages his head, "So I know you all have a lot of work to—uh, get back to. I believe my brother has raised your spirits enough. So, I think we'll leave you alone for now."

Mycroft chuckles, "I think what Sherlock means to say is that he'd like to chat with you one-on-one."

Sherlock looks at the camera, slightly shaking his head before looking back at the floor.

"Sherlock let me first introduce to our veteran, Martha, or as I like to call her, Mrs. H. She. . ."

Camera pans to Philip, who has just received a text. He looks over to Accounting. Following his eyesight, we see Sally motioning to him. She spots the camera and turns elsewhere.

Camera cuts to Philip in the conference room.

"That's why I didn't get the job. He's the brother, and utterly incompetent, by the looks of it. Of course he was going to get the job. All I've got is 10 years of experience cracking the toughest clients and moving them away from Staples and into H&H. All Sherlock Holmes had to do was stay for 9 months in the same uterus as Mycroft! You can't compete with shared DNA!"

Philip takes a deep breath to calm himself down from his monologue.

"If Mycroft Holmes thinks he can get away with awards and applauses to run this company, well, he's wrong!"

We follow Sally Donovan as she saunters out of H&H through to the emergency staircase.

"The cameras didn't follow you, right monkey?" Philip asks urgently, as he steals a kiss from Sally. She leans in and puts her arms around his neck. They kiss for a while before breaking away breathlessly.

"No P, they didn't."

"Good," he exclaims, then leans in to kiss her again eagerly, but Sally pushes him away.

"Focus, P! Ugh, I can't take this anymore!"

"Me too! That job should have been mine!"

"Or mine!" Sally reminds him sternly.

"Either way, we've got to do something about this. This Sherlock Holmes is a blithering idiot; doesn't know the first thing about being a manager."

"Do you think," Sally leans in closer and pokes him in the chest with a finger while biting her lips, "you could check with your buddy down at the station?"

Philip frowns, then narrows her eyes, "You want me to dig up dirt on Sherlock Holmes?"

Sally puts her arms around him, "It's for a good cause," then leans in further to capture his lips in a chaste kiss.

Philip breaks away, "Okay, I'll see."

"Mr. Rutherford, thank God I could get you on the phone. I'm sorry for the interruptions. Today's been a rollercoaster at the office. . ."

Camera pans away from John towards Mycroft and Sherlock as Philip returns to his desk after his secret rendezvous. Mycroft makes eye contact with both the salesmen and John groans almost inaudibly. Time to schmooze.

"Mr. Rutherford, I'm so sorry I have to let you go once again. Yeah. . . yeah, you too."

He bangs the earpiece down somewhat irritably. We can see his left hand under the desk twitching violently. He notices the camera a little worriedly, realises and crosses his arms to hide the twitching.

"And here we have our best salesmen, Philip Anderson and John Watson," Mycroft extends a triumphant hand towards Philip and then John as John stands up. "Philip here has been H&H's Salesman of the year five times in a row. He's truly an inspiration to all the branches.

John looks at the camera with an incredulouslook and shrugs. Philip stands straighter and shakes Mycroft's hand, glowing under the praise. He then shakes Sherlock's hand confidently who looks mildly uninterested in the introductions.

"Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Holmes the younger."

"So Philip," Sherlock pulls a faux-fascinated look, widening his eyes and leaning forward, "my question to you is: how do you do it?"

"Mr. Holmes—do you mind if I call you Sherlock?"

"Mr. Holmes is just fine," Sherlock simpers coolly. John stifles a chuckle.

Philip looks taken aback. Mycroft laughs uneasily.

"I hope you don't mind, Philip. My brother is a jester," he turns to look at Sherlock meaningfully, "In fact, that is how he intends to lead our brave troops, isn't that true Sherlock? With humour and. . . charisma."

Sherlock looks at his brother matter-of-factly, "Ha. Ha. Yes Philip, you were saying?"

Before Philip can answer, Mycroft swoops in, "You can call him Sherlock, don't worry. We encourage everyone to be on first-name basis at H&H."

Philip looks at both of them awkwardly, "Yes, Sherlock. As I was saying, I like to describe myself using three words: hard-working, alpha male, jackhammer."

Sherlock nods interestedly, "Absolutely, Philip. I can see how those three traits are important for an avid chrysanthemum-gardener such as yourself."

Someone giggles a little loudly. Camera pans over to show Molly Hooper clap a palm over her mouth and look at John with restrained glee. John smirks and then drops all amusement from his expression as the camera pans to him.

Camera cuts to a dumbfounded Philip Anderson in the conference room. He stares at the camera for a few moments before collecting himself.

"How did he know that?"

Camera cuts to a giggling red-faced John Watson in the conference room.

"Oh God!"

He succumbs to another fit of laughter.

Camera cuts to Molly Hooper in the conference room, who is now chuckling as she rests her head against the wall.

"I am the only person who knew that. Sorry, I was the only person who knew that. A couple of months ago, I saw Philip in a flower contest. No wait, I saw Philip trying to hide from me behind a bunch of chrysanthemums. We mutually decided never to speak of it again. Till now."

Camera cuts to a livid Philip in the conference room.

"Sherlock Holmes is going down."

Mycroft closes the door to Sherlock's office behind him and massages his temples, obviously frustrated. Irene is sitting next to him, her perfectly manicured nails going clickety-clackity on her Blackberry. Greg is sitting in the back of the room Sherlock plops down on his chair, looking triumphant at his brother.

"Can you please excuse us?" Mycroft says at last, to the cameras. "Greg, can you draw the blinds?"

We leave Sherlock's office to see the blinds being drawn. However we can hear the argument through the collar mic.

"Irene," Mycroft exhales defeatedly, "do you want to go first?"

We can hear Irene putting down her phone, "Sherlock, Philip Anderson is a valued employee of ours. I understand that he can be a bit too much—"

"A bit too much?" Sherlock exclaims incredulously, "Tell me Irene: on an average, how many times a year do you hear someone describing themselves a 'jackhammer'?!"

"A lot more than you can imagine, Sherlock. At least he is saying that to your face!"

Sherlock chuckles, "Are you calling my brother a jackhammer? Because if so, I completely agree!"

We hear Irene sighing, "I'll just cut to the chase. Since our last meeting, the board has decided that we can't justify two branches in London."

"What does that mean? The entire branch is fired?"

"No, NO!" Irene exclaims loudly, alarmed. "I've spoken to Josh over at Bowes Park branch. I've told him the same as you and it's up to either him or you to convince me that you branch can incorporate the other."

"So no one is fired?"

"No. Not exactly. This means that we have to cut corners any way we can. Per diems, expenses, benefits etc. Maybe even downsizing."

She stops speaking. There's pin drop silence in this room. Then Sherlock clears his throat, "Okay fine."

"So you know what to do?"

"Fire Philip Anderson?"

"No, NO, that's not what I was—I mean, that is up to you, as regional manager."

"I assure you, Irene. Sherlock is simply joking. It's an unfortunate habit."

"You don't like jokes, Mycroft?" Sherlock asks, his voice heavy with sarcasm.

"I like them just fine, brother dear," we can hear the palpitating anger in Mycroft's voice, "But not when we are involved in a serious discussion about the future of our company!"

"Serious discussion?! You are entrusting the downsizing of your oldest branch to a newb like me just so you can groom me!"

"As Irene said it before, it doesn't have to be Ferndale. It can also be Bowes Park—"

"Oh cut the crap, Mycroft! You're willing to ruin lives just to make it a teachable moment—"

"Gents, gents!" Irene exhales, "Let's take a 5. Sherlock, I hope you'll follow due process like I outlined. I'll send out a memo about this tomorrow to all branch managers. If you have any additional questions, I'll be happy to address them. But I want you to get started on this as soon as possible. Is that okay?"

Camera cuts to John's desk. John is nervously wrapping and unwrapping the landline cord on his index finger. Momentary relief flashes across his face as his call connects.

"Uh, Mr. Rutherford, we didn't lose your sale today, did we? Excellent. OK. Let me just get your. . . what's that? No, we didn't close last time. I just need your. . . Oh. W-What code were you given? Oh, okay. That's actually another salesman here. I can redo it if you want to do that. Oh, he gave you a discount?"

John's face falls visibly.

"No, I don't blame you. . . I understand. Okay, take care. Bye."

John leans in his chair, puffing up his face as he puts his phone down. We see his eyes wander aimlessly and then rest on Philip's desk. He purses his lips, then opens up the bottom drawer on his desk, taking out a small bottle of sparkling cider. There's a blue ribbon tied around the neck, and a card with 'Blue Cross' written over it sticking out. Shoulders slouched, he places the bottle on Philip's desk, collects his bag and leaves dejectedly.

"See you tomorrow, Molly."

"Bye John."

Camera cuts to Mycroft Holmes smoking in the open parking lot.

"I had no wish to make Sherlock the manager. This branch is tricky, we've got people like Sally Donovan and Martha Hudson and Philip Anderson in the same office. Even Ed Truck faced so many problems managing here. Sherlock will be eaten alive, I'm sure of it."

He throws his cigarette on the ground and crushes the butt.

"But Mummy was insistent. And it's better than rehab. I'm too busy to babysit him over at corporate. Best send him here, keep him in check under your camera, 2 ballbusters and a pain-in-the-arse. Sooner rather than later, people are going to see what a disaster he is, and he'll come home, wounded but safe and sound. And if, meanwhile, he learns how to sound like Father Christmas to 'regular people' like I do, well, it's a win-win either way."

Review please?