Alison had been missing for a while. They all assumed the worst had happened to her and some had actually started to move on.
Spencer felt relief yet guilty. She needed less pills. There were more nights she could go to sleep without them than the other.
A part of her dream had come true, no more Alison.
Emily spent nights after nights at her place. Sometimes she talked, smiling. Sometimes she didn't, crying. Emily's pain faded day by day and Spencer knew that. Her guilt slowly left. She could contemplate the beauty when she smiled and she could hold her hands when she was crying.
There were more sleepovers and less distance between them. Linking hands while watching movies was normal and kissing on her forehead before going to bed wasn't a weird thing. It was too good for Spencer to ruin it.
"Do you miss her?" Spencer asked one night.
That was a stupid thing to ask. And selfish. Spencer knew the answer would hurt but somewhere deep down, she still wished Emily would say differently.
But she didn't.
Spencer's heart hung above her throat. She placed on Emily's forehead their goodnight kisses and as if things weren't bad enough, she slipped.
"I love you."
That wasn't the right reply. Spencer saw Emily right there but she suddenly felt so lonely. Her heartbeats were so loud Spencer could felt it in her ears. She was about to play it off, she just had to think of a good way, if there was one.
"I love you, too. I didn't know what to do without you." Emily looked down, replied after a long while.
Spencer didn't know was Emily too naïve or was she absolutely not as naïve as people thought to pull off her innocent side, she was thankful for that anyway.
Nothing changed that night.
Spencer wished it had. If she had known three months later there was this girl Maya came to town, she would have made things so different.
There was this girl Paige.
Alison was back.
Spencer realized something. There was no such thing as 'right time'.
A glass of water pushed a pill down Spencer's throat. Emily could be waiting for her.