Start Again
[A/N] Thanks to the first followers and the people who favorite this story after only one prologue! It means a lot.
Just so you know, every chapter will have a different point of view that will eventually all interlace together.
Thanks for reading, and don't forget to Review/Follow/Favorite!
Enjoy,
Oblix.
.
.
.
Chapter 1 – And Do Not Lose Them
.
.
.
He always finds himself here, no matter the day, no matter the year. It is reassuring him, to know that this place still exists, that it will always exist. Here, nobody is seeking him and he can finally take the time to digest everything, all the deaths he witnessed, the share of responsibility he carries for every single one of them. The morning, when the sun is not quite up yet, is his favorite moment. Everything is gray except for the first ray of light that pierces through the trees and always lands on the same spot, on the same stone. His team's stone… His old team's stone.
At that thought, Kakashi sits down in the green grass still wet with dew and brings his knees up to his face, where he places his chin before encircling his shins with his arms. Every day, he feels the same discomfort, the same fear that quickly settles deep inside his heart. What if soon, it is their names he sees on this rock? And what if something were to happen to Sasuke? Where would his name appear? In that position, at that precise moment, one could see a boy instead of a lost man sitting on the ground. A lonely boy with fears he cannot control. But it always passes and he always returns to his cool attitude and his lazy act (that is not really an act) in order to keep watching the students that he still has from afar (or not from that far, actually). He has to make sure nothing like that ever happens again.
Because when he finally found them, that day, four years ago, there was nothing more to say, nothing more to do…
.
.
.
.
.
Sasuke looked at him with the same lost eyes he worn on one other occasion, at another time, on a certain bridge and with an unconscious pink-haired girl lying on his lap. The eyes of someone who has lost everything, again. And Kakashi said nothing, did not even move when one of his students decided to desert the village and sell his soul (and his body) to their number one enemy.
Lazy.
After a while of staring at the empty space where Sasuke had stood moments ago, the man finally recovered from his shock and slowly made his way to the blond boy still floating, face down, in the middle of the water. He grabbed the drench, orange jacket and easily hauled Naruto back on the shore, assessing his state before sitting next to him with a sigh, head in his hands, somewhere down between his knees.
Kakashi-sensei…
And finally, he heard her. He had not noticed her presence before and was surprised to see her there, standing on the side and watching him intently, her arms wrapped around herself, her cheeks wet, nose dripping. At first, he thought she was crying because of what had happened between the two boys, wondering slightly why she was there in the first place. He will understand everything much later, when he will finally start to care (although a part of him thinks he always cared).
He brought them back that day (minus one). He brought them back, left them in good sannin's hands and went missing for a while. He was not able to face them and needed a break away from children, from drama and love. With his anbu career taking much of his time, he was almost never there, and when he was, few could find him… Except for his blond student. So, when he learned that Naruto was also leaving for his great adventures with Jiraya, Kakashi must admit that he felt relieved. One less person to avoid, he thought at the time. Then, he also realized that his other student was clearly avoiding him, and that fact finally helped him relax; he partially hoped she had decided to drop out.
Because, to be honest, after everything, the Sakura he knew would have gave up her shinobi career and returned to her family's bakery, her parents welcoming her with open arms. But she obviously changed, because on the contrary, in Tsunade's hands, the girl quickly became obsessed with her training, doing nothing but healing and breaking and healing and breaking again. She learned how to shatter bones with only one pinky toe and repair broken ribs between two ramen bites. In no more than a year, she became a completely different person, passed the Chuunin exams easily and finally showed up at his door at a moment he was not expecting at all.
He still remembers her like it was yesterday. She must have been about fifteen, or something like that. He cannot recall even one encounter before that specific talk, so they were probably avoiding each other for more than a year when she finally decided to make a move...
The first thing he noticed when he opened the door was that she had grown, just like her hair, and that her style was different, more mature. She was not his little Sakura-chan anymore and he felt his heart sank at the thought. That made him realize just how close he was to losing her (an anbu career does that to someone).
After the first greetings, she fidgeted a little before looking at her feet.
"Kakashi-sensei. I'm sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if I could speak to you for a few minutes."
He did not know what to say at first and was happy to wear a mask when she looked up, the piece of clothing hiding his uncomfortable frown.
"Mah, Sakura-chan, you never bother me," he finally managed to say, a hand behind his head. "Come on in, I was actually making some tea. You want a cup?"
He walked back inside, leaving the door open for her to follow (or not), and occupied his mind with his kettle and his cups while another human being closed the door and sat down at his dining table (something he was not used to hear anymore. Then again, an anbu career does that to someone).
"Mm. Thank you, sensei. It won't take long. I just wanted to thank you for everything you did for me, everything you gave me…" He waved at her, back against the counter, feeling ridiculously hypocritical in this situation. He never gave her anything, she always was the one giving. After a brief pause, she cleared her throat and continued. "But mostly, I wanted to apologize."
The silence stretched this time, Kakashi staring at her, staring at the table, until the kettle saved the day and called him away. He took his time pouring the tea, making sure not to spill anything and to find something to answer before he reached her.
"I don't know why you would feel the need to apologize. You didn't do anything wrong, not to my knowledge anyway."
She glanced up, uncertain, and he nodded and smiled to cheer her up, remembering then that she could not see his face. "I don't know if Tsunade or Naruto told you this, but I'm the reason why Sasuke went to seek Orochimaru's help."
With a frown, the silver-haired man settled the tray in the middle of the table and sat down in front of her. "Sakura, what are you –"
"I'm really surprised Naruto kept his promise. He's usually not very good with secrets."
Kakashi crossed his arms and took a nonchalant pose at that, looking for a sense of familiarity in their exchange and clinging to it when he thought he had finally found it. "After all, he is the most unpredictable ninja…"
She glanced up again, this time with a small smile, and exhaled loudly, as if she had been holding her breath for some time. Then, she resumed talking, ignoring his remark. "I had a problem for a while and instead of asking for your help, I tried to fix it on my own. It turned for the worst when one of my closest friends decided to betray me, giving Sasuke away in exchange for her freedom… Although, I guess that in the end, he was the one who decided to never come back."
Now, Kakashi was leaning forward and straining his ears, trying to follow her words as she mumbled, face toward the wooden surface. This new piece of information did not match his own assumptions about the situation, the reasons that he believed had played a role in his protégé's decision. Somehow, the idea that Sasuke had been sold had never appeared to him as a good explanation. Although, the fact that the Uchiha decided never to return was more in line with what Kakashi knew of the event.
"What kind of problem? Which friend?"
Sakura hesitated for a moment, as if the name itself was banned from her life, but then, she finally gave up and told him in a sigh.
"Nezumi Hana."
The name was not familiar. No matter how hard he tried to remember, Kakashi could not pinpoint a girl she was spending time with (other than the Yamanaka) at that time. But hey, maybe it just slipped his mind, the subject not being the most important thing to happen in his life back then…
The pinkette abruptly cleared her throat, gaining his full attention again.
"The girl with whom I shared my body for a while… From the formation of our team to the desertion of Sasuke."
.
.
.
.
.
The desertion of Sasuke, he remembers how hard it was for her to say these words that day. And now that he thinks about it, he never heard her talk about the Uchiha again. With a sigh, he runs a hand through his unruled hair. What good does it do to mull over old memories like that? His hand then brushes the cold stone, his fingers knowing by heart the carving letters of the names he yearns to say one more time. Occasionally, he wishes Sasuke's name was there too. It would be easier for them to move on knowing that he is not with them anymore because he cannot come back, not because he does not want to.
"Kakashi."
He knew she had been there and had patiently waited for her to make a move.
"Hokage-sama."
She appears from behind the stone, dark circles adorning her features, looking like her real age for once. As she starts to walk closer to him, Kakashi begins to notice certain things, like how tense her shoulders are and the fact that she has been drinking again, probably more than usual.
"What we talked about some time ago, you remember?"
Of course, he remembers, although he is still not entirely sure he understands all the facts. He crosses his arms and leans on the stone, his hip bouncing close to the names he cannot stop thinking about, feeling that if he touches them, it will make everything easier.
"I remember."
A shadow covers the sun for a second and a gust of wind tangles his silver hair. He watches, mesmerized, as her blond locks begin to swirl in front of her voluptuous figure. His fingers itch for a familiar orange book, but her next sentence redirects his attention on her.
"It's time."
An explosion in the distance creates a small earthquake under his feet. Soon, the smell of smoke manages to cover the scent of sake emanating from the woman. He tries to turn his face in the direction of the disturbance, but she grabs his masked chin and holds it in place. Her hazel eyes bore into his sole dark orb and for a second, everything stands still. Then, she squeezes his face a little tighter and his gaze falls on her painted lips as they form one single word.
"Now."
Another explosion resounds closer and Tsunade runs in its direction, leaving Kakashi behind, the gears in his mind working relentlessly as his body begins to move, dragging him in the opposite side of town.
It does not take long before he reaches her small apartment. Not bothering with the door, the man quickly enters by the kitchen window (his favorite), praying that she is still at home. And she is. In less than a second, Sakura appears in front of him, wearing her over-sized green t-shirt and her spandex shorts, her hair tied up into a high ponytail – her training outfit.
"K-Kakashi-sensei?"
"We're leaving. Now."
As she reaches for her pouch on the dining table and her boots by the front door, she assails him with questions.
"Is this about the explosions? What is happening? Is this another of Naruto's stupid pranks? Or is this your weird way of telling me you want some company?"
"Yes. I don't know. I would never take part in one of his pranks. And I always crave your company, Sakura-chan, but now, we have to go."
She stares at him with wide eyes, but slowly retreats to the door, stopping only when her hand reaches the handle. He turns to jump by the open window, but still takes the time to answer her silent query.
"To Naruto's."
When he reaches the next rooftop, he hears her subtle footsteps behind him and exhales sharply. At least, she is quick to react, he thinks, as he nears another, smaller apartment. It is never that simple with his other, more unpredictable student.
As they land on the balcony in front of Naruto's place, the door yanks open and the blond inelegantly stumbles forward against Sakura, who, not expecting this, is propelled backward against Kakashi's chest.
"Ah, my favorite students, still annoying me after all these years."
Sakura mumbles a small apology to the man before turning to her blond teammate, arms crossed in front of her chest. It does not take more for Naruto to apologies in turn with a sheepish smile.
"We don't have time, kiddos. Naruto, we're leaving. Now. They're here for you and they won't get you, not under my watch."
Sakura glances at him with slightly wide eyes but does not say a word as Naruto jumps on the railing.
"They're here? For me? They're exploding things, maybe people, because of me? I'll kill them! I won't let them destroy Konoha, not again! I'm not a coward, I stay dattebayo!"
He is about to jump when Kakashi grabs him by the front of his collar and yanks him back.
"The situation is different. Not everyone in the village is on your side anymore, Naruto. This is Tsunade-sama's order. We're leaving, now."
He exchanges a look with his female student, who gulps and nods quickly before hurling Naruto forward by the tip of his ear.
"Kakashi-sensei said now, Naruto. So, it means right now."
A second later, the three of them are running from rooftop to rooftop, getting closer to the training grounds and the woods and the outskirts of the village, and Kakashi cannot help feeling like this is all too easy.
And maybe he jinxed it, because a mere second later, he deviates from his course just as a kunai is thrown, aiming for his heart. He does not need to glance behind to know who is after them. He guesses cloaks with red clouds or masks with animal faces.
However, even if he wanted to check, he would not be able to, because a purple explosion suddenly clouds his vision.
"Poison! Hold your breath!"
He turns at the sound of Sakura's voice with an appreciative smile, thankful that she is smart enough to notice it and to know that she has to warn Naruto.
Inside the smoke, Kakashi do not breath as he accelerates his pace, knowing that their assailants are getting closer by the second, and wanting to escape the purple cloud as soon as possible. Finally, his vision clears and he lets the air engulfs his lungs again.
"Kage Bunshin no jutsu!"
Suddenly, thousands of Narutos appear through clouds of smoke, some quickly morphing into copies of Sakura and Kakashi, silver, pink and yellow hair now bouncing all around him every time they land in another tree.
The man sighs. If only they were chased by normal threats, he wishes, glancing back and avoiding another weapon aimed at him. You would have to be foolish to believe that these bastards would fall into such a simple trap.
"Naruto, save your chakra. We don't know for how long we'll have to run."
He lifts his headband and releases his sharingan. They are out of the village, but not out of trouble, and Kakashi knows he has to retaliate quickly, but a delicate touch on his elbow stops him before he can do something.
"You have to save your chakra too," Sakura whispers in his ear. "Do you trust me?"
He glances behind and his mismatched eyes lock with her big, green orbs.
"I trust you with my life, Sakura. You know that."
She smiles softly and looks at Naruto, who somehow manages to hear the short exchange and nods in reply.
"We have to make them think that you guys are actually Naruto's clones."
"We?" Kakashi frowns. "What about you?"
A kunai passes between the two, and Sakura has to push herself on the left to avoid it before joining him again.
"Me? I have to protect the Leaf, I promised Tsunade yesterday. And if it means that I have to sacrifice myself, I'm good with it."
Upon hearing that, Naruto hurls himself at her, but Sakura keeps on running, so he misses her and ends up in a tree, where he stays a second longer, silent, until he decides to follow them again, a little bit behind, his gaze lost in the movements of her hair.
"Sakura-chan," the blond finally says. "You won't sacrifice yourself. Not for me."
"Naruto, I don't do it for you, but for everyone. You have to live, so they can't have you. Kakashi is more suited for the task of keeping you safe. He knows how to stop the Kyuubi from possessing you, and is in line to be the next Hokage. Someone, other than you, must use their characteristic skills away from the rest of the group. This is the only way to make them doubt, and then, hopefully, they will split in half."
Kakashi stays silent. He does not want to admit it, but her plan is good, logical. She has the greatest potential for survival because of her healing abilities, and once they will find out about the lure, they will probably let her go, as she is, after all, Tsunade's apprentice, an essential asset for the hospital, thus an essential shinobi for Konoha's citizens. He sighs and turns to look at her.
"Be careful. We will try to seek Gaara's protection… And then wait for you, or for a sign that you're still alive." He extends his arms and brushes her blushing cheek. "Our sanity will depend on that information."
He holds her gaze until Naruto engulfs her in a weird hug, half carrying her as he continues to run. "You will meet us again. Soon. I love you, Sakura-chan."
She laughs one last time, her smile never reaching her eyes, and with one last glance, proceeds to make her way to another duo of silver and blond. "I love you too, guys."
Quickly, one of her copies takes her place as Naruto subtly asks his clones to scatter in every direction, him, Kakashi and their fake Sakura being the only ones to stay on their way to Suna. When the silver-haired man glances behind, he sees some of Danzo's men following the lures, but with the majority of them still focusing on him and his student, three people with Akatsuki cloaks in the middle of the crowd specifically catching his eyes. Suddenly, a feminine shout, followed by a strong earthquake that brings down some trees, finally reduces by half the group of pursuers. However, the three Akatsuki members do not seem to be affected by the distraction, and Kakashi's sharingan catches a glimpse of red in another man's eyes.
"I think Itachi's with them," he whispers to Naruto, who immediately stiffens and glances back. "I wonder why he didn't tell the others about Sakura's plan. He certainly saw through it."
Naruto curses before waving some hand-signs, more clones appearing after he shouts the familiar Kage Bunshin no jutsu. Then, the copies swiftly change direction, accompanied by the fake Sakura, and they quickly reach the target and begin their assault, creating another diversion that allows the two real men to continue their way through the forest, away from the fight.
"We cannot confront Itachi and his shark in addition to the traitors," Naruto answers his silent question and Kakashi nods before creating two clones of his own.
"You're not as dumb as thought. Hyuuga has a good influence on you."
Naruto's laugh echoes in the forest as he accelerates his pace, and Kakashi quickly follows behind with a hidden smile.
And they keep running like that for the rest of the day, occasionally hearing explosions and shouts behind them, a sign that their clones are holding on. And then, all of sudden, the forest turns silent, the only noise reaching Kakashi's ears now being their own footsteps, the man feeling anxious at that realization. The sun is already setting, but even if they have been running for a while, he knows it is not over, knows something is waiting for them somewhere along the way.
And he is praying that the man he saw is not Itachi, that they did an amazing job at outwitting their pursuers and that everything will be alright, but truthfully, something is wrong and Kakashi knows it. He can only hope that Sakura is safe, because he cannot help feeling guilty. He should not have said yes. Her plan was risky, even if she is tough and strong and not a child anymore... He just does not want to lose her again, her being the space that she fills in his life even more than her own person. She is his new Rin, and as bad as it sounds, it is true, and he cannot lose her again. But even if he would rather come to her aid… Kakashi glances at Naruto's pensive frown… the mission must always come first.
"I have to say that I am not surprised at all, senpai."
Kakashi abruptly comes to a stop and reaches forward to grab Naruto's shirt and pull the blond back, securing him behind his taller form. Standing in front of them are now three silhouettes in black and red cloaks – two that he knows and one he has never seen before.
"You knew it was a suicidal move, and yet, you let her go. The mission comes first, am I not right, senpai? The village comes first. No matter the cost. Such a waste of talent. I heard a lot of great things about her."
"Bastard! She's not dead yet, don't talk about her that way. You don't know her. She's stronger than these stupid traitors!"
Itachi hums softly as the sharkman beside him bursts out laughing.
"Naruto, relax, don't fall into his trap. You have to stay calm and keep your emotions in check, we can't risk Kyuubi taking control. Not now."
He hears his student sigh, takes it as a good sign and turns his attention back to the Akatsuki members in front of him – one problem at a time, Hatake, one problem at a time.
"I guess you know a thing or two about sacrifices and the village coming first, Uchiha."
Even with his mismatched eyes staring at the blue man beside Itachi, Kakashi's sharingan registers the slight tensing of the Uchiha's shoulders and the subtle twitch of his foot at the teasing.
"She always gives, with nothing in return, and after all these years, you all still take advantage of her."
Kakashi's attention quickly snaps to the only girl of the group. She seems to be around Naruto's age and her short silver hair, almost white, contrast greatly with the dark brown of her large eyebrows. She is peering at them through long eyelashes and her eyes, almost black, seem to wear all the hatred of the world.
"Who are you?"
Naruto's voice is wavering, as if he already knows the answer but cannot believe it. Kakashi frowns as he eyes her, wondering where she found her information about their team dynamic and why she cares so much. Only someone in direct contact with them would be so accurate about how they treated their teammate. For a second, he wonders if Sasuke did not betray them, because Kakashi remembers telling him something similar to this one day, years ago, at a time that now feels like another life. And the man will always blame himself for that, for knowing they were using her and not doing enough to change it. He was (and still is) the bigger person. He should have taken care of her, of them, not the other way around. But Kakashi is too old to change, too damaged to refuse comfort when it is offer to him.
"I was a part of your team for a while actually. From its formation to the desertion of Sasuke."
The desertion of Sasuke. Kakashi's eyes narrow suddenly.
"You're Nezumi Hana."
Naruto's gasp does not go unnoticed but before Kakashi could ask him to better hide his emotions, the girl replies.
"I am, Kakashi-sensei."