Disclaimer: I do not own Red vs Blue those rights belong to CockBite Productions.

"Alright, rookie you stay here, Richards, Tucker and I are going to cut him off," Church instructed. "Okay, Tucker head through the teleporter."

"Me? I'm not going through that!" Tucker complained. Tucker and Church got into argument about the teleporter, while Richards was curious about how the teleporter worked. Alien tech probably. After a minute Church ended up pointing his rifle at Tucker.

"For the record, rocks aren't people," then Tucker leapt through the teleporter. Richards and Church waited a few seconds and Tucker did not appear at the other end.

"Shot me if you must, but I'm not getting stuck in limbo," Richards told Church.

"Yeah, I'm just going to walk."

"So Donut somehow stole the Blue's flag after you sent him out for elbow grease?" Yates asked, completely dumbfounded.

"Basically, yeah," Grif replied. Yates sighed and readied his DMR. As they drove down the canyon Yates spotted Donut holding the flag cornered by three blue soldiers. Grif then pushed the pedal to the metal and jumped the Warthog over the 4 soldiers below. The surprise at a multi-ton car flying over a hill sent the three blue soldiers running up the hill for cover. Yates swore he heard one yell, "The car followed me back in time!"

Grif parked the jeep and began to talk Donut, "Rookie how'd you get the flag?"

"I just asked for it."

"Wait? That worked?"

"Was it not supposed to?"

"I don't know, we never tried it before. Just take the flag back to base," Donut then left with the flag. For maybe a half-hour Grif and Yates stood around watching Simmons shot rocks with a big ass gun. After a while, Yates got bored and positioned himself with the Grenade Launcher. He was about to fire when Grif yelled: "Hey Rookie, come with me and Simmons, we're flanking around the cliff."

Yates without turning he responded, "Well I got an angle on them right now," then he fired. The grenade arced through the air bouncing off the cliff wall but exploded just above the enemy's head.

"OH YOU FUCKING COCKBITE!" Yates screamed at the rock. How could he miss time it?

Grif just watched, "You missed jackass," he said dryly.

"I swear that never happens."

"Yeah whatever hotshot, just come with us," Simmons remarked. Yates followed, grumbling about just one second. After exploring the side of the cliff for 10 minutes Yates came to a simple conclusion.

"Yeah, we can't get up over here,"

"Why did we leave the Warthog again?" Simmons asked.

"Well it was either this or watch you shot rocks all day," Grif reasoned.

"At least that was fun,"

"Fun for you, you mean, after a few minutes it was like watching paint dry."

Yates turned around ready to head back to the warthog, but he stopped dead in his tracks. There sitting and watching the 3 reds was Scorpion Tank. For the first time since landing in this canyon he was scared. He knew what these things could do, he watch one punch a hole through a Covenant Wraith from a few kilometers away. It would make mincemeat out of them.

"Fuck," He groaned.

Richards groaned; she did not want to spend her first day at this base hiding behind a rock. But here she sat, crouched behind a rock with two assholes while some assholes with a big gun shot at them.

"HOW MANY BULLETS DOES THAT THING HAVE?!" Church screamed.

"So gurl, looks like this is it, do want to meet something harder than a rock, bow chika bow wow." Tucker turned to Richards trying a lame pickup line, did it even count as a pickup line?

Richards turned to Church, "Can I use him as a human shield?"

Church paused and seemed to be contemplating it.

"You can't be seriously considering it?" Tucker said nervous.

"At this point what other options do we have?" Church said.

"Any option, literally any other option." Tucker said pleading to not be used as a human shield. Before the debate could continue grenade hit the cliff above them, before it could drop on them it exploded right above their heads.

"YOU FUCKING COCK BITES," Richards screamed. In the distance she heard another man yell, "OH YOU FUCKING COCKBITE!"

Then the machine gun fire stopped, after a minute of waiting Richards poked her head over the rock.

"Hey, I think they stopped firing,"

"Yeah no shit Sherlock,"

"Both of you shut up, they left the jeep," Richards informed them.

"Why would they leave the jeep?" Church asked.

"Maybe they got bored," Richards said, "I mean I've been pretty bored too."

"Let's go for the jeep," Church suggested.

"What if it's a trap?" Richards argued.

"Trust me its not these guys aren't that smart,"

"If its so safe why don't you go for it, Church" Tucker said.

"Fine I will," and with that simple sentence Church went running for the Jeep.

There stood three idiots in red colored armor staring down the barrel of a big ass tank.

"Okay on the count of 3 we run for the jeep," Simmons said.

"Wait do we go on 3 or after 3?" Grif asked.

"On 3, it's always faster on 3,"

"Why don't we run for the base, fuck the jeep." Yates said. No way in hell was he running in the direction the gun was pointing.

"Rookie shut up we don't have time for this," Simmons said.

"1...2...3!" Simmons counted down, but he didn't notice that Yates ran for the base, and that Grif was running towards the jeep. Yates didn't look back he kept running, holding his rifle loosely, keeping his breathing in check. He heard the tank firing, and the explosive impact, and for a second he wasn't in the canyon anymore, he was back in the trenches listening to the tank fire, waiting for them to show themselves. The tank fired again, and he was back in the canyon running towards a concrete base with red lights.

He ran up the ramp into the base and almost directly into Donut.

"What's going on out there?"

"Blues have a tank, Grif and Simmons went for the jeep, might be dead, I don't know,"

"Their not dead their over there," Donut said pointing behind Yates. Yates turned and saw Grif and Simmons running towards them. When the two red soldiers reached them Grif was terribly out of breath.

"You need to exercise more," Simmons said criticizing Grif.

"Fuck...You" Grif panted.

"Where's the jeep?" Donut asked, looking behind them as if they were hiding the jeep behind them.

"Tank blew it up" Simmons informed.

"Oh man Lopez is going to be pissed," Donut said.

Then the tank fired, then again, then the jeep was on the roof of the base in a wreck, but somehow still mostly intact. The tank continued to fire for what seemed like an eternity and Yates couldn't keep himself from slipping back to the trenches to the bloodbaths, and he now wished more then ever he took option number two.

Richards starred in shook, Caboose had just killed Church with the tank. Now he was firing on the red base, locked on to their jeep. This day just couldn't get weirder.

If only she knew how wrong she was.

AN: I'm alive, I know it's shocking. But here I am updating this stories after working on this chapter for some time. It's been only what 2 months? Hang on let me check. HOLY SHIT 4 months, how could you let me go that long without updating, man I am so sorry. But hopefully I can update more often.