A/N:

Thank you guys for the support. While I'm fairly confident with this fic and where I intended it to go, I wasn't sure how it would be received by the audience. I'm glad you liked it.

I've been giving it some thought before. A lot of fics involving these two characters started with Kagura developing a crush and not knowing how to deal with it, then Sougo realizing it and doing something about it because otherwise, she wouldn't (he's not wrong). It's always been Sougo chasing, which made sense, because he's older and more mature. However, after rewatching the dynamic between Kagura's parents, I remembered that Kouka was more or less indifferent and Kankou was the one in constant pursuit. To me, it's obvious where Kagura got most of her stupidity from, so it wouldn't be a stretch if when it came to it, it would be Kagura actually running around and giving half-hearted proposals... I think. Does that make sense?

Having no actual role models to take after, Kagura decided to use soap operas as her reference.

The sadist did seem to have particular standards that she, obviously, would not have to try hard to meet (at all). The challenge, however, was how to make him see that (she'd already failed several times, there must be something she was missing).

Kagura weighed her options, those she hadn't tried yet. She could offer him flowers, but she was broke, with actual butterflies flying out of her wallet—well, if she did have one, she imagined there would be a lot, but since she was on Gin-chan's payroll, of course, she did not have one. She could make him chocolates, but it was already well past the actual holiday it wouldn't make sense anymore.

Should she just seduce the bastard?

Stripping was out of the question, certainly. But Okita Sougo's a well-known sadist, so if she wore some slightly revealing gothic outfit, a collar, and some thigh-high fishnet stockings, surely, he'd be whipped and wrapped around her fingers in an instant, right?

Right?

But. But. Wouldn't that be very embarrassing?

Alright then, she decided that that would be her last resort, like a secret technique revealed only at the climax of the final battle.

So what other options did she have left?

She realized in horror she did not have any more ideas than that after all. Think, she thought to herself. There must be something else!

As if on cue, her stomach made a grumbling sound, a reminder that she hadn't eaten breakfast yet before she exited Odd Jobs and formulated a game plan. She frowned at her idiocy, slumping in disappointment but just as she made a move to walk back to Otose's, an idea, a rather bright one at that, crossed her mind.

"Of course!" she exclaimed out loud, earning her the cautious glances of everyone within the proximity, but she couldn't care less about the attention as she grinned triumphantly.

The straight way to man's heart was through his stomach, after all.

So, the plan.

She would cook something for him, a meal, preferably in time for lunch. He seemed to have a particular liking to that spicy sauce, too, so she made a mental note to purchase that one later.

What else? Was there any dish he's especially into recently? She couldn't remember for the life of her, but it wouldn't actually hurt to check, would it? With what very little resolve she could muster, she made her way to a diner she knew he frequented, in hopes of seeing him.

For research purposes only, obviously.

"...I'll get back to you later, Hijikata-san, patrol's not looking very good right now."

His signature deadpan voice was followed by the sound of slurping of noodles and with the confirmation of his presence in the shop, she snuck her head inside, peeking through the curtain. There, inside, he sat with his right hand holding his chopsticks, his left holding his walkie-talkie from which his superior officer's angry yelling could be heard through a static, along the lines of WHAT PATROL, YOU'RE ONLY EATING, AREN'T YOU? I CAN HEAR YOU SIPPING FROM THE PHONE, DUMBASS! COMMIT SEPPUKU RIGHT THIS INSTANT!

As usual, getting scolded did very little to dampen his appetite. "Oh, what's that? Are they fighting? I think they're going to kill me, I'm so scared. Catch you later. Die, Hijibaka-san." For someone who's supposedly scared for their life, Okita Sougo sounded too bored. Did he even expect his chief to buy that?

Obviously not, but before his chief could complain any further, he switched off the device and proceeded to eat casually, as if he didn't just receive an order to kill himself.

"Have you finally succumbed to your stalking tendencies, China girl?"

Muttering a few obscenities here and there, she sprouted from her hiding place and opted to defend her honor. "I don't know what you're talking about, I just went here to get myself a meal, yes?!" she claimed, lying through her teeth and hoping her infamy for her gluttony would save her. "Why do they even let chihuahuas here? Isn't it bad for diners to feed strays?"

"Nah, at least this stray knows how to pay bills," he retorted flatly. "Unlike some China monster I know."

The reminder of the current state suffered by her non-existent wallet was the last thing she needed. But before she could exit the diner, her stomach made grumbling noises again. With that, she bit the insides of her cheeks in embarrassment and debated whether she should still keep up the act or just waltz out and declare that she did not want to dine with the sadistic bastard because she really did not want to dine with the said sadistic bastard.

Whom she was supposedly going to persuade into a marriage.

"Just hurry up and sit down already," his voice interrupted her thoughts. She could only stare dumbly as he began patting the seat next to him. "You're being slightly more annoying than usual," he added as an explanation, which didn't really explain anything but she supposed he wasn't going to offer any more than that so she just silently sat down and fidgeted with her hands like a teenage girl with a crush.

Next to her, he raised his hand and ordered two more bowls of the noodles and pointed a thumb at her, "she's not very particular about the toppings, she swallows without chewing so it doesn't really matter if you run out of ingredients, just add some used socks or something."

Awakened from her stupor because in no way was she planning to lose in a verbal battle with him, she wore the most teasing smirk she could and cooed. "Aw, sweetheart, is this your idea of a date? Finally saw the light?"

He scoffed. "Nah, just couldn't pass up the opportunity to drain Hijikata-san's wallet," he held up a wallet proudly from God knows where.

Tch, she muttered grumpily as she started sipping from the bowl of ramen that the shop owner just served her. She tried sneaking glances at her seatmate but found nothing noteworthy about his meal except the signature hot sauce he poured over it. Several bowls and a paid bill later, he waved at her again and walked away with his hands in his pocket.

The next several days had been, if anything, as fruitless as this encounter, or any of her previous attempts so far, really. She would walk up to him, ask for his hand in marriage, and get rejected all over again, or worse, ignored. She really, really needed to up her game, lest she get subjected to constant rejection for the rest of her life.

(She could at least hold her head high and say she never did anything inappropriate and made him totally uncomfortable, they still sparred and traded a barrage of insults as per routine, except each time now, she would smoothly insert marriage proposals here and there.)

She was well aware she could just drop the chase and pursue another lover, but then again, she was too proud to let it go—to let him go. That would be as good as admitting defeat, and she was not going to let him win. He probably understood this, too, for he never actually told her outright to stop.

But the thing was, he didn't exactly encourage her advances, either.

She stared in defeat at the wallpaper of her phone. It was photo of the two of them taken the other day. Why she took it in the first place was beyond her. Before she could stop herself, she just approached him, grabbed him by the collar to bring his face close to hers to fit in the camera's range and grinned from ear to ear. In it, he looked so innocent, slightly caught off guard but the mask of his stoic face was still mostly intact she wouldn't have noticed his surprise if she didn't know him as well as she did.

She sent him a copy of the photo, playfully telling him to look at it whenever he felt like he missed her, to which he replied, "dream on." Right then, she was busy convincing herself that it only made sense to keep his mind occupied by thoughts of her because she was trying to woo him, after all.

Now, she could only wonder if he hadn't deleted it before even getting a proper look.

"Excuse me, you're Kagura-san, right?"

She looked up to meet the expectant eyes of a guy around Shinpachi's age, same built but this man exuded more confidence in his stance. His emerald eyes shone with mischief, as if he knew a secret she didn't but it was gone before she could even examine it further. "If you're one of those idiots who are trying to court me, forget it!" she pointed her purple umbrella to his face. "I only have my eyes on one prey, yes?"

"Prey?" he tilted his head in confusion, before chuckling in good nature. "That's one odd way of saying betrothed or prospect but don't worry about it! I just remembered you from the shop, you're the most frequent customer of that seaweed snack, aren't you?"

"Oh," was all she managed to say before the man dumped a pack of the said snack on her hands and stalked away to vanish amidst the throng of people in the busy streets of the district.

"Who was that?"

She turned and was met by the familiar pair of ruby orbs that never ceased to see through her soul and just like that, all thoughts of the emerald eyes of the stranger earlier evaporated into thin air.

He tried convincing himself he wasn't bothered at all, really, but in all actuality, he was losing his patience and he knew it.

This was the third day in a row that the brat hadn't showed up, after all.

The first time, he could still ignore the anticipation—not like he hoped she was planning something special for him—and slight irritation—not like she owed him any explanation for not showing up—because it was just one day. He could live with that. He could go on for much longer.

(Of course, he could, because in no way was his life dependent on her presence despite every single part of his body indicating otherwise—this, he could only account to his open and apparent high every time he exchanged blows with her, because why else would he miss the erratic beating of his heart whenever she was arround? How else could he even explain it?)

The second day, not so much, but he decided to be strong-willed and patient. That girl was probably just up to no good and in no mortal danger. With that in mind, he managed to stay composed and went on with his day as usual.

(If, by any chance, he had been slightly more violent with his subordinates and shot them with his bazooka every other five minutes, it had nothing to do with Kagura's absence and radio silence.)

The third, which was today (tonight), he could barely pay attention to what Yamazaki Sagaru, the current captain of the first division and their resident reconnaissance man, had been reporting in the meeting.

"Okita-taichou," Anpan-head whined for the fifth time that evening. "It's important that you listen since they're sending you out for this mission."

"Last I checked, you're the captain, now," he drawled in feigned boredom. "Can I leave already?"

"Fukuchou," Yamazaki corrected with unnecessary stress in each syllable. "You don't even know where you're supposed to go and whom you're supposed to arrest."

Sougo could only glare at the poor guy, who trembled in return, and decided not to argue (because said poor guy was actually correct but Sougo was not going to admit that) any further. Hijikata Tōshirō took this silence as his cue to speak. "As I'm sure you missed earlier, we're sending you with the first division to sweep an abandoned factory near a shipping dock to investigate an alleged amanto trafficking. The location has been tipped off to us by an anonymous witness," the man explained with an exhale of cigarette smoke and Sougo could only frown at the secondhand gas from his superior.

"The illegal act is rumored to have been led by a man under the moniker King Cobra," his chief continued. "And Zaki here claims that he'd already zeroed in on the man's identity."

"How are we even sure there's really something going on there?" Sougo asked. "It could be a trap."

"That's why we're sending you," his chief replied impatiently. "No matter how good they are, they can't kill you. Even I haven't managed to."

Sougo glared at his superior but didn't dare to talk back.

"Anyway, Zaki already went to scout the area, there seems to be something fishy going on there, only one way to find out," Hijikata nudged the timid captain who shrieked in surprise but later recovered and cleared his throat.

"Right, his nickname was said to have been based from his unique eye color and ability to pull off any disguise, shred skin like a snake and assume any identity," Zaki explained before pulling out a folder and showing them a page containing information about a man and several photos attached to it with a clip.

Sougo held out his hand and silently demanded the photos, which were handed to him willingly. He studied the different disguises of the man and froze. It was as if the room temperature suddenly dropped. He shivered a bit in cold sweat before yanking Zaki's arm towards him. "Where. Now."

"Ah—I, Fukuchou—" the poor guy stammered helplessly, squirming to break free from the hold.

"Where. Now!"

Zaki stuttered a response and gave the complete address to his superior officer, but before he could even finish describing the actual building, Okita Sougo was already on his feet and all but ran towards the door. "Where are you going, Fukuchou!"

"Oi, Sougo!" he heard Hijikata call out to him but he had no more time to waste as images of four white walls and a bloodstained blanket flooded his mind.

The man in the photo, King Cobra, had really unique emerald green eyes, the same pair that had been fixed on her the last time he had seen her, carrying that stupid pack of trash in her tiny delicate hands, hands the could very easily lay waste to any enemy on the battlefield, if he was going to be logical about this.

But his comrade's words rang in his ears. These people were amanto traffickers. Surely, they knew of Kagura's blood already, yet chose to attack anyway.

That could only mean one thing. Somehow, they knew how to deal with the midnight rabbits.

He resisted the urge to throw up and jumped inside a police car, to one of his subordinates' protest. He immediately started up the vehicle and drove to the location as fast as he could. Traffic laws be damned.

As his vision swam amidst the taunting memories of his sister's laugh, her coughing fits, her restrained smile as she beamed through her engagement party with a man who was not the one either of them wanted it to be, he could only pray to whatever powerful being was out there that he could fucking get there already because he was not going to lose anyone over to another bloody criminal again.

Not Hijikata Tōshirō.

Not his aneue.

Certainly not China girl.

Why was it always him anyway? Why did they have to keep targeting those around him to get to him? Why was it never him directly?

Why did he have to keep losing despite him being the best swordsman in Roshigumi or Shinsengumi or whatever they were called now?

As expected, he did not get any answers as he stepped out of the police car, breaking more than just a couple laws along the way. To his surprise, though, the sight that welcomed him was a sea of battered bodies, both amanto and human, scattered around the area. He knelt next to one and checked for a pulse.

Beaten up but not dead.

He entered the building to which the trail of bodies led as stealthily as he could. It didn't take long for him to hear noises indicating an active battle and he did not waste another second to get there. Relief flooded his system when he finally caught sight of her.

There she stood in all her Yato glory, hair fluttering with the wind as she puched the living daylights out of a poor criminal. "Stop making my hubby's job harder, you punks!" she complained angrily through gritted teeth. "If you criminals don't do anything, he can just rob taxes without doing any real work and I can eat sukonbu peacefully, yes?!"

"Without crime, I'll lose my job," he blurted before his brain could even process anything that he was seeing right then because all he knew was that she was safe, safe, safe. China girl is safe. No hospital gowns, emergency rooms, sneaking in of favorite snacks. No oxygen tanks to help anyone breathe, no machines measuring the life in a person through green lines fluctuating with every heartbeat. China girl was safe, safe, safe, safe—

"Ah, Sadist!"she smiled the brightest of smiles and ran towards him with arms spread wide. "You came! Were you worried about me? You totally fell for me already, yes?"

As he stared at her dumbly, standing still and awaiting the embrace that he was almost certain would come, he lifted his arms to receive her and all was well again.

Until he saw a figure roaming in the shadows, aiming a gun at her and in less than an instant, all he could see was red.

A/N: After reflecting, it seems I am not capable of writing anything other than angst, after all. Do check out my other work in Gintama, though. One of those one-shots I wrote in that compilation about KonTae remains to be the best I've ever written so far.