Hey everyone! I'm sure you've all figured out the drill at this point. With the virus-that-shall-not-be-named running around and shutting down the whole country, we're all stuck at home with nothing better to do than write. I start online school next week, but hopefully I'll be able to get back into a pretty consistent upload schedule again soon, what with now being home until August again. That all being said, I hope you guys are all doing okay as you can be, and thank you all so much for sticking around and for all the wonderful comments and support. I love you all 3000. Stay safe. 3
Even when he wakes up, it's days before he really comes to.
The blue woman - Nebula, her name is - takes care of him, with the help of a few other people that he really pays no attention to. The only time he actually comes to for any amount of time is when he hears people talking about his family. He manages to answer, his name, his aunt's name, but sinks immediately back into his catatonic state when he gets the news that she's one of the many people who are gone.
After that, he sinks into a deep catatonic state. He doesn't remember much about it, and it's almost a week before he actually snaps out of it.
Said snapping out of it isn't actually his decision. Strange had dropped them outside of the new Avengers compound, and Peter had taken up residence in the room that Mr. Stark had set up for him months ago, and basically stayed there for most of the week. What finally snaps him out of it is the arrival of what's left of the Avengers.
He hears the muted sounds of people - more people than normal, the rustle that meant commotion outside of the everyday. His senses have been muted since Titan, it feels like, but not enough that he doesn't hear when people come clambering in the building.
Suddenly the door to his room is being thrown open. People are rushing in, but Peter simply lays there. There's a handful of people in the world he wants right now, and none of them are still alive. Sure he'll have to move eventually, but right now is not that time.
Someone settles next to him in the bed. "Hey, kiddo. You want to sit up and talk to us?"
He glances up, unable to resist the pull of the gentle voice, and Black Widow smiles kindly down at him. Still, he shakes his head silently. He doesn't have anything to say to her.
There's a quiet sigh, and another familiar face appears in his vision. "Listen, I know you don't want to talk, but-"
Captain America cuts off abruptly as Peter suddenly sits bolt upright in the bed. He's spent the past week or so feeling numb, tired, and wishing he'd gone instead. He hasn't been able to muster up the strength or the will to feel anything.
That all changes when he sees Cap's face. Suddenly he's feeling something again. Anger. And it is strong as ever.
"Talk? To you?" The words tear out of his mouth without him even thinking about them, his voice raw from almost a week of disuse. "Why should I? It's not like you listen to what anyone has to say. It's not like you care about anyone besides yourself."
"Peter-" Black Widow's hand touches his arm, but he shakes it off, throwing the blankets off and stalking over to the bigger man. He doesn't say anything, nor does he step back as Peter approaches. He simply watches him, looking tired and wary.
If Peter wasn't so angry, wasn't spiraled so deep into his emotions that he had no hope of control, then he might have stopped. Might have seen the exhaustion and pain etched into the other man's face and let it drop. But he just couldn't.
"It's true, isn't it? This is all your fault! Mr. Stark tried to talk to you. He tried to reason with you- all of you! And you ran instead. You ran, and then we needed you, and you weren't there. This is exactly what he was trying to prevent! And we could have! If we had all been together, fighting together, we could have stopped him! But instead-" he stops. His voice was rising steadily up until the point where it cracks and breaks, and he has to stop. He takes a shuddering breath, his voice barely a whisper when he continues. "Instead it was just me and Mr. Stark and Dr. Strange and we had to fight him on our own and we lost. And then he- he… and I had to watch…"
There's no hiding the way his voice breaks this time, and he falls back onto the bed, covering his face with his hands. There's no sound but the varied rates of everyone's heartbeats and breathing for a solid minute before the murmuring starts up again, and then-
Arms wrap around him. Gentle. Solid. Feminine. Long hair covers his shoulders like a curtain, and he takes a shuddering breath, sinking into the comfort without looking up as he dissolves into deep sobs, unable to handle the sudden onslaught of emotions after days of not allowing himself to feel anything.
"I know, I know, it's okay, it's okay," she murmurs, repeatedly, running soothing hands through his hair, down his back, holding him close until his sobs finally begin to peter out. "I've got you, it's okay…"
All of a sudden the voice and the smell register at once, and Peter pulls back, sniffling a little as he peers up at the woman holding him to confirm his suspicions.
Miss Potts smiles sadly down at him. Her eyes are red, too, but overall she projects calm as she looks down at him. "Hey, Peter." She wipes his face with her sleeve. "Feeling a little better?"
Peter swallows thickly. He wants to nod and say yes, to thank her, but what comes out of his mouth instead is, "I'm so sorry, Miss Potts. I-"
"Shh, no, none of that," she interrupts, taking his face in her hands. "You did everything you could, Peter. And none of this is your fault, your hear me? Thanos did what he did. It has nothing to do with you. And Tony-" she swallows thickly, looking down for a moment as if to gather herself before continuing. "He would have chosen the same path in a heartbeat to keep you safe, even if he'd had the option. You can't blame yourself."
He's not so sure how he feels about that, but he simply nods his head and agrees, unsure what else to say. "Where do we go from here?" he whispers, looking up at her with wide eyes. He's never felt so much like a lost child before in his life.
Pepper just smiles sadly at him again before pulling him in. She kisses his hair softly. "I don't know," she admits quietly. "But we'll figure it out, Peter. Together."
"But I'm not- I mean, you don't have to-" he starts to pull back, surprised, but the grip she has on him is firm and unrelenting.
"Don't have to do what? Take care of the child that my husband and I love as our own?" Her eyes are a little watery again, and she blinks them back. "Look, I don't want to overstep, Peter, but… May is gone," she reminds him gently. "And Tony is gone, and so are a lot of others. I'm not going to let you be swept into whatever remains of the system, and I'm fairly sure you're not interested in moving into the Compound with the other Avengers right now."
A few months ago, maybe, but now? Peter has to admit it doesn't sound the least bit appealing. Even if he hadn't just flipped out on Cap, which he had, deservedly or not.
"Yeah… no, I'd rather not," Peter admits, flushing a little.
Pepper smiles. "Good. Because I wanted to let you in on a little secret, but you can't tell the others, alright?"
Peter immediately forgets about all embarrassment over his behavior earlier in favor of concern for the woman in front of him. If there's anything that he knows for sure Mr. Stark would want, it's for someone to take care of Pepper, and he'll be damned if he's letting any one of these sorry excuses for heroes do it. "Of course. You can tell me. But why me?"
"Well, if you're going to be staying with me, you're going to find out anyway. And truth be told, I'm sure there's some things I'll need your help with…"