season 6 ep2 part one

After the events of last night I phoned Traci and asked her to pick me up for work, she asked if I was feeling better today and I didn't know what to tell her. I knew that I had to talk to Sam at some point but we had a lot of work to do.

We were dealing with the gentleman rapist and we were dealing with the sex crimes detective who didn't like the fact that we got involved in the first place. For me it was personal as he had attacked me in my best friends apartment.

We got to work and I sat down at my desk and started on the mountain of paperwork on my desk, I must have been working for a while as I lost track of time. I got up and was going through the paperwork on Nicks desk when Sam came over.

I noticed that he had a coffee in his hand, I guessed it was for me because well he had that look on his face. It couldn't have been for Marlo because she's pregnant and she shouldn't really be drinking coffee.

He looked at me "You came in early"

"Yeah well the balcony predator is still out there; he's just going to go to other neighbourhoods and attack other women, so we gotta find him"

"Well Sex Crimes is on it now Andy; they'll handle it" "Yep" "They'll get him" he placed the coffee in front of my face.

"Is there milk in that?" Come on Andy, of course there's milk in it, he's not an idiot.

"Yep, double, double" ok now he's being cute with me.

"Well I take three now so; have a good day" ok maybe I should have talked to him after he went out of his way to be nice to me.

I took the coffee out of his hand without really looking at him. I could feel his hand brushing up against mine, I walked away to put more milk into it.

I went into the kitchen where Marlo was standing behind the counter with a glass of milk. I went over to the fridge to find some milk only to discover that there was none.

Marlo looked at me "Hey"

"Andy…" oh no she's not going to talk to me right now, I can't listen to what she has to say.

"I was just coming to get some milk" again Andy come on, your an adult and you shouldn't have to explain yourself to anyone.

"here I took the last of it" great...

"It's ok it's probably good for the uh…this is hard" I can't say it, I can't say the word Baby?

"you know I didn't exactly plan on getting pregnant with a guy who dumped me" I looked at her, seriously Marlo come on; why did she have to come back.

"why didn't you tell him before" I actually don't want to hear the answer, I mean she could have told him over the phone or when she came back during the bomb investigation. But no she sprung it on him.

"Cuz I was going to do it myself… I applied for a transfer out of town; but it hasn't come through. Look Andy I promise you I'm just here to do my job; alright I'm not here to get in between you and Sam"

I just couldn't listen anymore so I looked at her with tears in my eyes and gave her a look of anger and sadness and I left the kitchen. God, maybe they should be together; maybe they should get together for the sake of their baby.

I ran into Traci.

She looked at me. She looked sympathetic; she understood why I was upset after all she gave me a ride home last night.

"Hey" thank god I ran into her, she's the only one who gets this.

"Hey"

"What's wrong?"

"I'm running around like an idiot right now okay? I don't even know what to do with myself" getting shot at hurt worse than this I thought to myself.

I continued on with my mini rant, I mean I had to vent to someone and she already knew what was going on.

"What's that animal? You know the one that can't stop moving or it will die?"

"A shark?"

"No a shark doesn't describe how I'm feeling right now"

"A shark is a fish anyway"

I just can't put into words how I am feeling right now. I feel a mixture of anger, pain, loathing and well other emotions I can't think of right now. I looked at Traci

"I wish I was a fish. You know why? Cuz fish fertilise eggs outside their bodies. It doesn't matter who they have offspring with; because they don't have to deal with confusing emotions like rage and sadness".

She looked at me; sympathy was written all over her face "You're heartbroken?" I guess that's the only way to put it.

I looked confused and sad "Heartbroken? Traci, I'm terrified, I don't even know how to do this; I don't even know if I can do it". I looked hurt and angry; my voice started to crack with tears.

"Sam's about to have a baby and it's not with me" god saying that really hurts right now.

She looked at me understanding where I was coming from.

"Have you talked to him?" Oh no, I can't talk to him about this, he will probably end it and he will get back with her and then I'll watch from the sidelines again and I really don't want that to happen.

"I can't talk to him. What am I going to say? I have no part in this"

"You do have a part in this" I looked at her, really Traci where do I fit into all of this.

"What to be the bigger person? I don't know what that person would do, except maybe to walk away".

She looked shocked, I could tell that she wasn't expecting me to say that.

"What do you mean?" I don't know what I mean Trac.

"I mean…" I sighed in frustration "I don't know… Maybe Sam should be with Marlo".

And there it is; there's the rage and the sadness coming into play.

Gail came over and explained that a family came in to report their daughter as missing. Ok that's something to focus on, something other than what's going on with my relationship.

Traci looked at me "Okay, we are not done with this conversation" I nodded and went with Traci to talk to the family.

I just hope that I don't run into either one of them for the rest of the day.