File 2: "Mario's Crowbar" (2013-2017)
[From Notebook #1]
Crowbar was quite the step up in complexity from The Mushroom Kingdom. While TMK generally focused on the exploits of one protagonist (Celistar Mario), Mario's Crowbar was designed to follow the perspectives and exploits of around eight equally important characters*. The inspiration for this effort came from the fantasy book series "The Wheel of Time" and "A Song of Ice and Fire" (Game of Thrones), as well as the television drama series "The Wire".
(*How successful the "equal" aspect was is up to you. Also, frankly, who those eight were...)
Keeping track of all the characters— making sure they were in the right places at the right times, "doing" the right things, and that nothing collided inappropriately (or did collide appropriately)— took quite a bit of planning. Here's an example of some planning below, transcribed from my physical notebook:
Day 6 Schedule
Mario: 19
Wes: 6, 10, 13, 15.5, 17, 17.7
Penter: 4, 8, 11, 16.5
Blaine: 15
Koji: 3, 5, 14
Seigal: 1, 7, 9, 13.5, 18.5
Peach: 12, 17.5
Alago: 9.5, 17
Qourk: 2, 18
1= Sleepy
2= Leave — Execute Penter (Dawn)* (*Lucky decides not to…)
3= Find Village
4= Carnage (Start)
5= Meet Seer
6= Through Booster Pass (Ship?)
7= Wake Up, Kill (?)
8= Carnage (End)
9= Hijack Airship
*9.5= Alago/Blii in village (Blii with yellow?)
10= Enter Mushroom City
11= Meet Khad (+Penter Memory)
12= Go to Hotel (?)
13= Wes w/Ghrea
*13.5= Seigal lands in Mushroom City
14= Get firewood
*Seigal hijinks
15= Perspective
*15.5= Seigal Meets Wes
16= Meet Kamek?
*Penter Perspective
17= Blii kills Fortune Teller (Blii follows girl who goes to fortune teller to find friend)
*17.5= Peach at Hotel, memory
*17.7= With Rogues
18= Qourk displays troop violence (Show Rigel having similar effect on Qourk)
19= Mario collapses
[Blaine Flashback somewheres]
Magik's Comments: The process here began as the chapters involving Day 5 drew to an end. First I'd draft a list of the events that needed to happen, attached to the characters that were involved (not shown here). Then I'd start laying out the order of the events as shown in the story (generally chronologically), attaching numbers to the codename of the event (1= Sleepy, attached to Seigal).
If, as I was drafting this list or during the actual writing, I realized something else important was going to happen, I'd insert the event as a ".5", in-between already listed events. For example, I decided Alago and Blii needed a little more interaction, so they got the 9.5 event above, inserted chronologically between events 9 and 10. If there were multiple in-between events that I needed to insert, I'd either make a ".3" or ".7" event, based on whether the new event was between 17 and 17.5, or 17.5 and 18. As above, I wanted to show Wes with the Rogue group before the end of Day 6, so I added an event (17.7) after Peach settled down at the hotel (17.5).
This process started with Day 5— that's when things started to get particularly complicated.
Excerpt from "Auction" notes
At Auction:
Wes
Ghrea
Blii
Furton
Wario
Mona
Dribble
Jimmy
Toadette
Spitz
*D distracted by call about Furton, Blii escapes
*Toadette forced to use back passage, save Peach/Seigal
Magik's Comments: The Auction that occurs on Day 7 was a particularly complex event involving many characters running around in a small area. It is one of the major "collisions" in Crowbar that highlights the themes of chaos and the butterfly effect present throughout the story. With the notes above I was able to write the auction sequence out in one pretty smooth go.
Excerpt from Day 7 Plans
+Wes: (Kamek will talk more [Relation of Warioware and Rogues]) Kamek will leave to check time machine (?). Book will appear, help Wes escape. [He'll lose more bodyparts.] Big Tower Escape. Wes reunites with Ghrea (See "Ghrea" section below). Auction disaster. ← Preceded by Ghrea summoning nearby hiding agents. Wes will kill self with Book… — Day 8 Craziness
(...)
+Penter: Travels with NEA to Forest. That night, he and Vale break off and sneak away. Penter plans conquest.
(...)
+Ghrea: Waits for Wes all night? ...Reunites with Wes in morning. News is heard regarding bomb. They head to auction, Ghrea "arrests" Furton who was kept with Warioware against will. Auction disaster. Ghrea is blown up somehow (but lives).
Magik's Comments: The above excerpt is an example of the first events draft I'd do before organizing all of the events into correct order with the (1, 2, 3, 3.5…) system. The "Auction disaster" is such a chaotic event that it is simply mentioned in the initial day events draft, and only "figured out" in the moment of actual writing. What needed to happen with the characters was generally known, but not exactly how it would happen within the auction itself (and that same principle, knowing "what" but not yet "how", goes with much of my writing).
This next section of notes might be a bit more interesting. These are the different forces and ideologies that existed in Part 2 of Crowbar, after the time skip of eight years. As Part 1 was much about discrete, individual people running around in pursuit of their own goals and the protection of their own lives, Part 2 was more about individuals forming groups and the various groups and their ideas coming into conflict.
Crowbar — Faction Notes
+Koji
+Theology: Apparently talked to Capella. Capella: Four Heroes backstory (basic). Book was fated to come back because of lack of sacrifices. In present, five must go to sacrifice selves to defeat Book (Koji doesn't mention this to others). In order to first seal the Book, the ones who held the Objects at the time of Smithos' awakening must be present at final battle. Koji equates this to 8 to match Merlar's prediction. Koji also knows basic mechanics of what happened in the Eight Days to Doom (MC: One of my codenames for Part 1 of the story).
+Goal: Get "8 heroes" to Book and defeat it through vague methods.
+Revolutionary Army
+Theology: Wes is the cause of the Continent's misery. He must be defeated. Because of a certain cult, many members of the Revolutionary Army are convinced that Wes is the reincarnation of the ancient God "Yahwes" (originating from human texts). They believe brute force can stop Wes. They also want to stop the Sarasan Empire.
+Goal: Kill Wes, retake the Mushroom Kingdom, and defend against the Sarasan Empire.
Magik's Comments: This thing about the Revolutionary Army (Sanctuary) believing Wes was the reincarnation of a god didn't make into the final story. It might still be true (that they believed that), but most of Sanctuary's concerns ended up being directed towards the invading Sarasans rather than Wes, so, we didn't get to hear much about their view of him.
+Sarasan Empire
+Theology: Daisy believes that a passage from the Scripture of Rosalina indicates the Mushroom Kingdom as a holy land meant for her. (Scripture of Rosalina is also tied to Yahwes. Rosalina is said to be the daughter of Yahwes.) The residents of the other countries must be forced into the Sarasan Empire.
+Goal: Take over the Mushroom Kingdom.
Magik's Comments: The tie of Rosalina to "Yahwes" is definitely not canon. I forgot this was even an idea until I looked through these notes again.
+Smithos
+Theology: Must kill Wes by using those who held the objects. Knows about everything regarding 1500 years ago + even before. Plans to escape sacrifice (but won't). Contradicts Merlar info.
+Goal: Defeat Wes but also remain alive.
+Luigi (Pocket Dimension)
+Theology: Believes in Binary, the 0/1. Believes that killing Wes will be enough of a blow to knock Binary into a coma, thereby sending the world into a "dream universe" (the video games). Seems to know about the Dharmacakra.
+Goal: Help defeat Wes, but then… Kill Smithos too, in order to complete the coma.
Magik's Comments: Now that I look back on it, the general "god & coma" thing was probably inspired by the 2008 indie videogame "Off" (I say general, since the goal is precisely switched around, and the details are pretty different).
-Character Factions Notes—
+Koji: Koji, Peach, Seigal, Blaine (1/3)
+Revolutionary Army: Ghrea (Masked), Dirge, Vale, Toadette, Jagger
+Sarasan Empire: Daisy, Qourk, Lukas, Zymech, The Diviner (MC: The Prophet).
+Smithos: Smithos, Blaine (1/3), Penter
+Other (Little interest in MK/Wes): Wes, Mario, Roy
+Luigi: Luigi, Blaine (1/3)
Magik's Comments: Blaine being in thirds of course because of his identity issues.
Crowbar Timeline [Not pictured]
Magik's Comments: I have a nice graph here showing the time travel mechanics of the story, with the three major timelines of Nihil, Prime, and Secondary drawn out with who was traveling forwards and backwards in time. It's basically impossible to type out. I might upload a picture to Deviantart later on. (I also have some character sketches I never uploaded.)
I also have a "Procyon Family Tree" sketched from the ancient times down to Penter and Koji's distant relations. I tried my best to translate that into the Final Lexicon under the section "Achernar (Family)".
Crowbar Forces
Destroying Devil: Book
Possessed: Wes
Agents of Destruction:
Eris Achernar I (Daisy)
Dirge R—
Creating Angel: Smithos
Possessed: Blaine
Agents of Creation:
Mario, Luigi, L
Koji Procyon
Capella's Eight:
Koji Procyon
Penter Procyon — Smithos
Wes Sirius — Seigal Canopus
Peach Toadstool — Mario, Luigi, L
Blaine Kentaurus
Objects and Heroes:
[Book]
[Smithos]
[Crowbar — Vega Betelgeuse]
[Charm — Capella Achernar]
[Rigex/Legix — Rigel]
Dharmacakra:
α
β
γ
δ
ε
ζ
η
θ
Binary:
Destruction — 0
Preservation —
Creation — 1
Lifelines — Notes
(7) 1501: Pandwin — Daisy
(6) 1502: Smilax — Account of the Binaric sage [Binaric]
(4) 1503: Eclair Wavel — Study of Binaric [Binaric]
(1) 1504: Arrow of Heaven — Call for a new nation
(2) 1505: Kylie Koopa — On Sage Jotaara [Binaric]
(3) 1506: Roy Koopa — Writing to Lemmy
(5) 1507: Lukas Koden — Letter on Roy
Magik's Comments: The details for the "Lifelines" Gaiden was planned after the rough events for Part 2 were sketched out. Lifelines ended up being a chance to show a small bit of Sanctuary's founding, developments in the Koopa Kingdom, and the appearance of the Binaric faith which played a key role in Part 2. Notably, the different sections were ordered based on sections involving Binaric alternating with sections that did not.
Excerpts from "MC Finale Notes"
+Mario: Mindless tank. Used by Wes while he focuses on Spiral Ceremony — [Wes: Seven caught him in "fragile state". Received realization through meditation that SC performed in Mushroom Castle was poor location — MoL (MC: Mountains of Loss) better location. Mushroom Castle ceremony only caused one "World Shift" — MoL as center of magic would cause infinite, total escape from reality (whether in death or dream)].
[...]
+Wes: Occupied with use of antikythera. Will be weakened by memory contact with Seigal (Koji knows from contact with Capella that this is key to breaking the Enemy's Mortal Vessel — Great Vessel still remains in form of Smithy, however. Seigal's memory will paralyze Ego, Koji will offer death of child as death of Procyon's grandson— paralyzing Super-Ego. Only sheer ID of Book will be left (Cont. later)
+ID: ENEMY
Ego: Wes S.
Super-ego: Procyon A.
[...]
+Peach: Final slap (MC: This became a punch) will "kill" Mario— thus killing Wes (hence, "I will kill you" a million chapters ago). (MC: Referring to something Peach says to Wes in Chapter 21. Ever since that line I had had some vague notion that Peach would somehow be integral in the "final battle".)
[...]
+Penter: Will wrestle Wes down as others direct speeches to him. Reflects that this wrestling— and thus, victory— likely would not have been possible if Book had taken him as it was supposed to way back when. Contributes part of victory to Lorelai. Remaining aspects of "Wes" admit Procyon's desire to defy fate in choosing Wes as pawn rather than Penter.
Excerpts from Epilogue Notes
+Seigal: (First) Works as messenger, for both Mushroom and Koopa Kingdom. Epilogue follows him on route to deliver Smithy's "declaration of war" — to Peach. (Knows lots of people as messenger).
+Koji: Pregnant, working as an architect for Toad Town. Already friends with Seigal, introduces him to Penter.
+Penter: Gets into warm-hearted fights. Living as a political activist, arguing to make MK a republic.
[...]
+Luigi: (Mentioned by Toadette) Taking over as hero of Mushroom Kingdom as Mario "settles down".
+Dirge: (Mentioned by Toadette) Minister of Foreign Relations for newly formed Southern Kingdom, visiting Toad Town.
+Smithy: (By Toadette) Declaring "war" on MK from northern outskirts. War= challenge MK's five strongest warriors to duel. Seigal comments that Smithy "sounds like a good guy… an old friend".
+Blaine: (Mentioned by Koji) Toad Town's most prolific doctor. Doesn't like to talk with patients too much, but enjoys healing. (Kotomine-esque).
MC: Kotomine is a reference to the character Kotomine Kirei from the Fate/Stay Night media series. Kotomine is an antagonist, but maybe could have been a good guy had things gone differently for him [so I imagine]*. Blaine would be that "good" Kotomine.
*This is not the place, but I realize most fans would tell me I'm wrong based on the evidence.
[...]
+Alago: A famous musician famous for her flashy style— they changed genders?! Performing in Toad Town.
MC: That's an interesting detail that doesn't make it into the final version… Seigal refers to Alago as a "he". I guess it's possible he didn't know who Alago was at all, though.
[...]
+Ghrea: Hanging out with Vale as secret agents— wearing obvious suits and shades in the midst of Toad Town.
Order:
+Seigal (Intro)
+Koji [Koji mentions Blaine through Qourk]
+Blaine
+Penter [Penter through Qourk involves discussion of Toad Town political race]
+Khad
+Qourk
+Alago (See billboard/hear song)
+Ghrea/Vale (Bump into)
+Toadette [Toadette mentions Dirge through Luigi]
+Dirge
+Smithy (Seigal's message involves)
+Luigi (Smithy is a job for…)
+Wes (Mentioned by Seigal)
+Mario/Peach
MC: And wait, one more thing I found— my old Word Document notes page.
This was like the brainstorming page, where many of the very new ideas, when they'd first come to me, would be typed down.
Excerpts from Rough Notes
+Seven(?) Star Children exist, cosmically important peoples designated by unknown forces. These children become the focus of the new universe.
Mario Mario
Luigi Mario
Peach Toadstool
?
Wario
Bowser Koopa
Dirge R—
(?)
MC: Absolutely not. This idea was COMPLETELY SCRAPPED. Wario and Bowser hardly even matter to the story (there would have been a concept, though, that they were metaphysically important for one reason or another). The Star Children concept (an idea extending from Yoshi's Island DS, yeesh) evolved somewhat into Merlar's eight heroes.
+Sanctuary commanders all have Chinese-esque strange rank names, given by Riveter.
MC: The ostentatious rank names of Sanctuary's commanders was inspired by some of the military titles in the Chinese classic novel The Romance of the Three Kingdoms, which I had been reading at the time. (Never finished it. The whole thing is like 2000 pages. I'm only about 500 away from the end though…)
+Antikythera Star was defined by the Number: a series of 8888 digits that comprise the complete "story" of the world. Begins with: 011235813213455… (Antikythera is created by the Spiral Ceremony [Which takes place at end of Part One])
+Ghrea grew obsessed with bombs as a child in the same incident that killed Lukas' father.
MC: This bit about Ghrea would have been explored much more in Hell's Uprising (Lukas Koden's story), and Ghrea would have appeared as a major character near the end.
+Wes will get the ability to channel others emotions. This will power him. Wes will use this power to absorb Koji's lost emotion in order to kill Blii (+ sacrifice legs). The Book will later force him to use this power in Part Two to feed off of the emotions of those living nearby (this is why the Book lets the resistance [Sanctuary] exist, perhaps?) This will ultimately be the way to kill Wes and The Book.
Magik's Comments: That bit there is only implied throughout the story, though it's key to understanding some of Wes' scenes. It also helps explain Procyon's defeat by Koji during the final battle.
And that wraps up the more interesting notes for Mario's Crowbar! If you have any questions, feel free to ask. I've already received some from the super David88, but I'm going to save Q&A for another update. I hope the notes here will satisfy until then...
Next time we'll look at notes for the barely started Mario Hotel and another story that never started at all!