We open to a motel where Jimmy, PC Principal and ex Principal Victoria are talking.
Jimmy: S-s-so, what brings y-y-y-you here?
Victoria: I've been hunting Ads ever since our last incident.
PC Principal: Feels like it's been 5 years.
Victoria: Well it's been a while. Would anyone like to tell me what happened while I was gone? Or do you want me to tell you what I was doing?
PC Principal: Well our vice principal gave birth to five PC Babies around 10 or 9 months ago and I had no involvement with the mother getting pregnant.
Jimmy: A-and there was a gend-gend-gend-gender war which PC Pr-Pr-Principal did nothing a-about.
Victoria: You know what, how about I tell you what I've been doing?
PC Principal: Uh sure.
Jimmy: Our st-st-stories are actually-
Flashbacks to past events are shown.
Jimmy: Boring.
Victoria: I'll tell you. For the past weeks and months I've been hunting down and exterminating ads. I don't have glasses that tell me where they are.
Jimmy: I did.
Victoria: Where the hell did you get them?
Jimmy: K-K-Keith David.
Victoria: Keith David? Keith fucking David?
Jimmy: Y-y-y-yes.
PC Principal: Could you tell us how you're hunting Ads?
Victoria: I've been getting these texts with coordinates and those led me to Ads and I executed them.
Jimmy: Who send y-you those texts?
Victoria: I don't know.
PC Principal: Have you had any trouble with the law?
Victoria: No, except I did end up on an episode of Russia's Most Wanted.
Jimmy: W-why?
Victoria: Because I killed their dictator who was an Ad. I ordered an air strike for the dic by disguising myself as Caitlyn Jenner and nobody knew.
Jimmy: B-but how did you end u-u-up on Russia's M-Most Wanted.
Victoria: I did a crouch near the Kremlin because I was picking up my credit card and it made the Russians think I was urinating. Mainly because I wasn't wearing any underwear and I was wearing a dress that made everyone see everything.
PC Principal: Sounds like you've had some interesting stories.
Victoria: Yeah.
Jimmy: But w-what brings you to-to-to-to South Park?
Victoria: I obviously came here to execute the Ad I killed 43 minutes ago. And I'm assuming you were being chased by the Ad because you have something against it?
PC Principal: The Ad tried to kill us after he killed Tutor.
Victoria: Tutor?
Jimmy: It was-wasn't really his name. It was more of a-a-a-a-a code name.
Victoria: Tutor, yeah I know him. Uses his disguises as code names. When I met him his code name was registered sex offender. He sent me on a mission to kill a female model who turned out to be an Ad. I was like Sandra Bullock in Miss Congeniality. So what did "Tutor" send you to do?
PC Principal: Tutor's sent us to investigate a rumour about Mayor Jim Doyle being an Ad. Before Tutor was unfortunately assassinated.
Victoria: Funny, I was recently sent some coordinates from my mysterious ally and it's coincidentally enough, to North Park.
Jimmy: Do we h-have a plan?
Victoria: Conveniently enough I follow Jim on Instagram. On Wednesday nights Jim likes to go to a casino he owns. So maybe some of us can go undercover in the casino, so we can assassinate him.
PC Principal: But we don't know if Jim's an Ad.
Victoria: Don't worry with this phone and these coordinates on my phone, I can tell who's an Ad and who's not. So, here's the plan, we go in the casino and once we have proof that Mayor Jim is an Ad, we execute said Mayor on the spot. Sound good?
PC Principal: I'm in for it.
Jimmy: I-I-I-I would but there's a p-problem, miners aren't a-a-a-a-allowed in casinos.
Victoria: Just pretend you have dwarfism.
Jimmy: I would-would-wouldn't do it, mainly be-because PC Principal might n-n-not allow it.
PC Principal: I will not.
Jimmy: See?
Victoria: Alright since I'll feel bad about you being left out, we'll think of something. Because right now, we need to go clothes shopping.
Later we see Jimmy, PC Principal and Victoria walking towards the mall but they stop when they realise that the mall was destroyed.
Jimmy: Oh y-yeah I forgot that happened.
Victoria: What happened to the mall?!
PC Principal: It blew up months ago. I don't know what happened to it.
Jimmy: It w-was rundown anyway.
Victoria: Why?
Jimmy: Ama-Ama-Ama-Ama-Amazon.
Victoria: Fucking Jeff Bezos.
PC Principal, Jimmy and Victoria stare at the sight for a while.
PC Principal: I have a suit at home, I'll go get that.
PC Principal left the two going to retrieve his suit.
Victoria: But who blew it up?!
Author: If you wanna find out who blew up the mall, please read Coon Girl.
Later.
The gang made it to the North Park casino.
Victoria, PC Principal and Jimmy exit the car looking badass.
Victoria and PC Principal were dressed like James Bond.
Victoria: Remember Jimmy, there's tiny little cameras on the side of mine and PC Principal's camera so you can see what we're doing. Also don't forget the earpieces. Contact us if you see anything.
Jimmy: G-got it.
Victoria: I need you to stay in the Starbucks so you can stay safe, that and the phone that connects to our cameras needs internet. Because my dealer is quite terrible at making tech that doesn't require internet.
Jimmy: R-right. I'll see you l-l-l-later. I wish you the best o-o-o-of luck you two.
Jimmy enters the Starbucks.
PC Principal and Victoria start to make their way into the casino.
PC Principal: Are you confident we'll find this Ad?
Victoria pulls her phone out of her pocket.
Victoria: With this baby, we'll find the Ad in no time.
Suddenly the two were stopped by a security guard.
Security guard: Hold it. I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to confiscate your phones
Victoria: Why?
Security guard: Last night there was a terrorist attack. The terrorist was Mexican Joker, he blew up an orphanage and it had children; burnt to death. That kid seriously needs parental supervision when it comes to explosives.
Victoria and PC Principal hand their phones to the guard.
Security guard: Ok, you can go through.
Victoria and PC Principal enter the casino.
Victoria: Fuck, how am I supposed to track the Ad without my phone?
PC Principal: Have faith Victoria, we're gonna find the Ad.
Victoria: You're right, I should have faith. Speaking of which, are you a gambler?
PC Principal: No.
Victoria: I'm a gambler and when I gamble, things tend to get out of hand.
Later.
Victoria is seen winning at the coin slot machines.
PC Principal: Victoria I seriously think we need to focus on what's important.
Victoria: Can't talk, winning.
A lot of casino patrons were watching.
PC Principal (Whispering in Victoria's ear): I don't think playing on slot machines is gonna help us find Jim.
Patron: Wow, she's really good.
Another patron: I wonder if she'll be a match for Jim Doyle. I heard Jim's a champion at pontoon.
PC Principal listened in on the conversation.
Jimmy (Voice): Now th-th-th-that sounds interesting.
PC Principal: Victoria, do you wish to play pontoon with Jim Doyle?
Victoria: I will, after one more spin.
Jimmy (Voice): This is i-i-i-i-important Victoria, we g-got a pl-pl-planet to save.
Victoria: Fine. You two are no fun.
Later, the two were looking around the casino.
PC Principal: See anything Valmer?
At Starbucks.
Jimmy was staring at a phone that was on a split screen.
Jimmy: I'm d-doing my best to f-find Jim. Also Vic-Vic-Vic-Victoria's back at the s-slot machine.
Back at the casino.
PC Principal: Huh?
Victoria was at the slot machine.
Jimmy (Voice): Victoria fo-fo-focus!
Victoria gets off her seat.
She was about to walk to PC Principal, but something caught the corner of her eye.
It was a gambling table with a man who was dressed like a mayor and looked like he was in his late thirties.
PC Principal: There you are we-
Victoria: Shut up. Found Jim.
At the table.
Jim Doyle won a game of pontoon.
Jim: Game over.
Player: Please, give me a chance to win Jim. I need to pay off a loan shark.
Jim: Your problem, not mine.
Player: No, no, no!
The player gets manhandled by two security guards as he continues to scream no.
The guards start dragging the player out of the casino.
Victoria takes his place.
Victoria: Evening Jim Doyle.
Jim: Evening. I assume you're here to challenge me?
Victoria: Well obviously.
Jim: What about the PC fella?
PC Principal: I'm here to keep an eye on my friend. My friend tends to have a gambling problem.
Jim: Shame. My friend Hugh has a gambling problem as well. Isn't that right Hugh?
Hugh was a tall looking man with a right eye that was damaged.
Hugh nods his head.
Jim: You know my name and Hugh's name, how about yours?
Victoria: Why?
Jim: What's wrong with being properly being acquainted?
Victoria: Very well. My name is Victoria and this is-
PC Principal: Peter. My name's Peter.
Jim: Very well. I'm betting 654 dollars on my first go.
Hugh whispers into Jim's ear.
Jim: Yes, ok Hugh. He's just got business to attend to.
Hugh walks away from the three and makes his way to a door.
Jimmy (Voice): Ok I-I-I-I-I have a plan. PC Prin-Prin-Principal I need y-y-you to follow Hugh i-into that room. Vic-Vic-Vic-Victoria I need you to k-k-keep Jim distracted. T-think you c-can do that? Nod if y-you can do that.
PC Principal and Victoria nod.
Jim: Well Vic? Aren't you gonna place your bets?
Victoria: Sure, twenty dollars.
Jim: Going small I see.
Victoria: I know how to play pontoon but this is my first time playing it at a casino.
Jim: Well we all gotta keep our money safe.
PC Principal: I need to go to the restroom, I'll be back.
Jim: Alright Peaty. Do you give me permission to call you that?
PC Principal: Uh sure.
PC Principal starts to walk to the door.
Jim: I'll go first. Hit.
The dealer deals a card.
Jim: Hit.
The dealer deals another card.
Jim: Hit.
The dealer deals another card.
Jim: Stick.
Jim looks at his cards.
Jim: Twenty. Your turn.
Victoria: Alright. Hit.
Card dealer deals a card.
Victoria: Hit.
Card dealer deals another card.
Victoria: Hit.
Card dealer deals another card.
Victoria: Stick.
Jim: How much?
Victoria stares at Jim like a badass.
Victoria: Twenty-one.
Jim was shocked.
Victoria huddles all of Jim's money to her side.
Jim: How about another go?
Victoria: Thirsty for more are we?
Meanwhile.
PC Principal enters the door which Hugh went through.
PC Principal: See anything I don't see Valmer?
Static sound was heard.
PC Principal: Valmer? Valmer? Valmer?
At Starbucks.
Jimmy: What d-do you mean the in-in-internet's out?
Starbucks employee: I don't know why. It just is.
Back with PC Principal.
PC Principal: Hello? Victoria do you read me?
Back with Victoria.
Jim was exhausted.
Jim: One dollar.
Victoria had a lot of money on her side of the table.
Victoria: Come on you great big pussy!
Back with PC Principal.
PC Principal: Nothing!
PC Principal walks down the hallway and comes across some doors.
PC Principal opens a door to his right and it was just a guy sitting on the toilet.
Guy: Do you mind?!
PC Principal: Sorry.
PC Principal closes the door.
PC Principal approached the door onto his left and opened it.
But inside that one was just a tiger.
PC Principal screamed and quickly shut the door.
PC Principal walks further down the hallway and opens the door on his right and inside was just a janitor's closet.
PC Principal closed that door and approached the door to his right and opens it.
Inside was another janitor's closet that had a tiger sitting on the toilet.
The tiger growled at PC Principal.
PC Principal: Sorry.
PC Principal closed the door.
PC Principal than made his way to the door at the end of the hall.
PC Principal opened the door to reveal a room filled with monitors.
PC Principal entered the room in confusion and grabbed a remote and turned on all the TVs.
They turned on to reveal him on all the screens.
PC Principal: Oh, bro.
Jim: Yes bro.
Jim was in the room.
PC Principal: Jim, what is this?
Jim: You just pushed the remote that turns on the camera in this very room, so sorry if this looks a bit jarring. I have the remote that makes things cinematic and could possibly lead to a cliffhanger.
PC Principal: Jim, are you what people say you are?
Jim: A mayor? Yes. Oh you mean the other thing. I'll show you.
Jim pulls a knife out of his pocket and cuts his hand to reveal that his blood was blue.
PC Principal: So the rumours were true?
Jim: Of course they were. As most rumours are.
PC Principal aims his gun at Jim.
Jim: Hold it!
PC Principal holds it.
Jim: Hold on, we need to play our little game or do you want me to tell you my master plan first?
PC Principal continues to point his gun at Jim.
Jim: But since I like to talk, I'll tell you my master plan. You see, my plan is to blow up the entirety of South Park, since the town knows of our existence and will do anything to expose us. Although I feel like you didn't do that for nearly five years. When South Park is off the map, than the Ads will continue to be unknowingly around your moron race.
PC Principal: But what about the Ad's life force? Me and Valmer destroyed it.
Jim: That "energy ball" was not the life force. It was...I don't know what it was actually. Leslie 2 knew what it was, but you killed her again.
PC Principal: Correction it was Valmer.
Jim: Oh. The Ads have no life force, we feed off the consumerism we provide. Example, Avatar was a box office success because we brainwashed people into seeing it to feed us despite the movie being visual porn. That's why we're doing Avatar 2, 3 and 4, so we can get a sense of that same taste of consumerism we had nearly 11 years ago. The movie isn't even that good, the story has been done to death and the visuals, while pretty; are just there for eye candy.
PC Principal: That's why I'm gonna stop you.
Jim: You? Well I guess you lead me into this. Boys!
Two guards pushed Jimmy and Victoria into the room.
The two had two bombs strapped to them.
PC Principal: Valmer, Victoria!
Jimmy: Tu-turns out that Starbucks em-em-employee was an Ad.
Victoria: They took my phone because he knew I'd find out he was an Ad.
Jim: Boys, leave us.
The two henchmen left the room.
Jim: Now to the game. You need to make a choice PC Principal, kill me or allow Valmer and Victoria to die. If you kill me than my good friend Hugh will blow up South Park, but if you allow me to blow up Valmer and Victoria than you're safe.
PC Principal was nervous.
Jim: Now two choices isn't at all fun. Which is why...
Jim turns on the monitor to reveal Strong Woman's house, Tegridy Farms, BarBrady residence and The White House.
Jim: The first three houses belong to three well known Ad killers. (Starts talking like a game show host) In the White House we have President Garrison and Caitlyn Jenner, in the weed house we have the Marshes and in the...generic house we have Officer BarBrady. (Starts to talk normal) Also, I think you know that house belongs to Strong Woman and her PC babies. The babies father is a mystery fun fact. PC babies? It does give off an interesting hint. Hmm, if only I could figure out who the father could be. Wait a minute (Clicks finger) I do. I got the DNA results.
Jim grabs an envelope.
Jim: And the father is...
Jim pulls test out of envelope.
Jim: Nerve wracking isn't it?
Jim starts to read the test.
Jim: PC Principal. Oh my God!
Jimmy and Victoria were shocked.
Jim: So, it's four choices. If you kill me, than Hugh will blow up South Park, if you allow me to blow up Viccy and Jimmy, than you'll go free, if you allow me to blow up the houses of the Ad killers, than all three of you can go free and if you allow me to blow up Strong Woman's house, than all three of you can go free and be home for the funerals.
PC Principal was nervous.
Jim: Your choice, let me die, let your allies die, let your fellow killers die or let the woman you love and your children die. Your choice.
PC Principal stares at Jim, Jimmy, Victoria and the monitors in fear and desperation.