I'd rather skip all the melodrama and get to the real good stuff, but Kaito would hit me for not being methodical so here we are.

I will be addressing you directly in these, Ging, because I am not pouring my heart out and wasting all this fucking ink without having you read them one day, even if it's the last thing I do.

You used to always say it was the journey and not the destination but I honestly couldn't give a damn about the journey I have to take to hunt you down and throttle you.

But that's beside the point. Just to be thorough, we'll start these from the very start. I doubt you still remember how we met, Ging Freecs, but it is a day I could never forget.

.

.

.

If I knew you would have been such an asshole, I would have just let you drown.

But you see, Ging Freecs, I have a rare condition most are unfamiliar with (your sorry ass especially) that is called having a heart.

So, when I first laid eyes on you, a strange boy who smelled like fish and was drowning in the shallow parts of our river, what else was I to do than to rush to your rescue?

You were a brat then. Still are, in my humble opinion.

You said you didn't need my help. "I'm a hunter," you told me with a grunt.

"You looked more like a fish just then," I told you. You hit me on the head with your fishing rod. Something that would soon become tradition, much to my displeasure.

You smelled distinctly of fish then. At the time I thought it was from the river, but the smell never really left you.

No, for the next month you were the moody boy I found in the river who smelled of fish, dirt and teen angst.

I wonder if that's normal on Whale Island. It certainly wasn't in the Village.

I still remember your whining. You said, "it's amazing there are piles of dirt even smaller than home".

"You complain a lot for a fish." I said to you and for the first time, I saw you laugh.

I remember my stomach tumbling in a way I'd never experience before at that. I thought I had ingested poison berries.

Looking back, perhaps being poisoned would have saved me from much more pain.

.

.

.

You stayed on the Island for the next few years, despite how often you complained about how small it was. I wonder what it could be that kept you there for so long.

When I was young, I was naïve.

I used to lay in bed, giggling, wondering if it was me. (It wasn't)

You weren't like the other boys in the village. You had a dream to see the world. And you were powerful, could take down any beast on the island, no matter how far you strayed from our paths.

You were young and so very vivid. We both were.

We were young, and we were beautiful.

You'd spend hours mapping down every inch of the island and when you'd stay in our guest room, you'd keep me awake describing your ideas and plans for the future (you said I'd have the first copy of Greed Island).

At the time, Ging, you were everything I was not.

You were determined and could do anything. In my eyes, you could take on the entire world and win.

That's the kind of man you were.

Meanwhile, I was weak. I wasn't a hunter, I wasn't a fighter. I was weak physically, I was weak mentally, and I was oh so very weak for you.

I loved you so much Ging, but you would always look the other way.

But that's okay, I was content with our unrequited romance.

After all these years, I'm not mad because you didn't love me back, and I wasn't mad that you loved another woman and had her child. And I'm not mad that I had to find that out from Kaito of all people, either.

I'm mad that you left. I'm mad that you told Kaito to come find you, I'm mad that everyone else but me got some final words from you, or at the very least a goodbye.

I'm mad that my final words to you were, "I love you."

I'm mad that your response to this was to flee the goddamn country and I'm mad that I still care enough to write these letters.

I'm mad that you're not here.