After (Part 1)
"Are you listening to me, Baby?" Jessamine demanded.
Jace blinked over at her. He had zoned out on the road and went on autopilot while he drove the rental car. Jessamine chattered away in his ear. He already regretted her presence.
"No, I'm a little distracted." Jace grounded out. They were only a few minutes away from his old home town. There was a weight on his chest that seemed to crush him more with every mile closer. The plane ride had felt like an eternity in itself. He had not wanted Jessamine to come. He had not even invited her. It was Michael who had weaseled into her head. Insisted that of course Jessamine should be by her husband's side in this time of grieving. Bastard.
"Well, I was saying I still think it's best that we go the surrogate route. I mean, this body is my career. We don't want to sacrifice it." She went on.
Jace rolled his eyes. When it came to this discussion it was completely one sided and she never even noticed. It's not that he did not like kids, it was that he couldn't even fathom them. The life he was living was a fake one. He did not want to add a fake child to the charade.
Jace glanced over at his wife again. The black dress she was wearing was more suitable for a red-carpet After Party rather than a funeral. He wondered what Clary would think of her. Assuming she would be there. He had considered calling her out of the blue, but thought best to wait. What would he have said? The sound of her voice would have broken him just as he was impending the sight of her would do that day.
As they pulled through the town, Jace tried to fight the nostalgia that settled around him and keep his eyes on the road ahead of him, until the large fields of grass and headstones came into view. They parked in the cemetery lot. The sky was the gray overcast of Autumn. It seemed fitting for the somber occasion. So many recognizable faces mewled about, heading down the hill and into the mortuary building. Familiar yet aged. There were faces that Jace once remembered to be that of children and yet now they were young adults.
Jessamine typed away at her cell, probably not even had noticed they arrived. "Let's get this over with." Jace grunted. Like the gentleman he was expected to be, he opened her door and helped her out of the vehicle. But he didn't walk hand in hand with her. He stormed down that the side walk, leaving her in his wake. He paused at the entrance, and scowled back at her. She strolled leisurely down the path, her eyes on her phone.
Jace watched as another car pulled into the lot. It drew his attention like an unknown force. Which made complete sense when the red-head stepped out of the passenger side. Every tension inside him melted at the sight of her. She was so damn beautiful. His mortal eyes felt unworthy. She had on thick black leggings and a black tunic dress over it with dark knee-high boots and a leather jacket. She looked like a bad-ass in mourning. And despite everything, it made him want to smile.
That is, until, a man with shaggy brown hair and glasses came around the car and took her by the waist. All the tension that had momentarily left him returned full force.
She leaned into the man for comfort and he tucked a loose strand of wind-gusted hair behind her ear. The sight was something he had never seen, except in his nightmares. His girl in the arms of another. Looking for comfort and protection in the eyes of another. In a not so humorous way, Jace thought he was about to join his father and have a heart attack too.
But those green eyes glanced down the path in front of her and with an open mouth she jerked away from the man and jogged ahead. Yet, when her eyes strayed from Jace's they fell on Jessamine curvy, blonde form and she slowed her paces till she came to a halt.
No. Jace would not let her think that Jessamine was anything to him other than an obligation. He took off in a jog himself and dodged passed his wife, finally raising her attention from her cell.
Clary picked back up her feet and moved until she collided with Jace's chest, his form practically engulfing her. He wanted to wrap her legs around him, pin her to a tree and kiss her breathless. His deceased father would not have minded but the other mourners might have. Instead, he just held her to him, his face buried in her wild curls so that he could draw in her scent like it was pure oxygen.
"I knew you would come." She murmured against his chest.
Jace looked over her head to see the man standing at the top of the hill, his hands in his pockets. He looked down at the two of them with a blank expression. No malice or jealousy. But a weary consideration.
"Is that him? The guy you told me about?" Jace questioned, finally.
Her head nodded against him and then pulled back to look up at his eyes. "Don't worry. He gets it." She comforted. Jace wanted to ask what exactly that meant but thought best to leave the conversation for later. Clary's eyes darted over his shoulder. "And you? Is that your wife?" She smirked already knowing the answer.
"I've never mentioned you." Jace muttered, busy counting each perfect freckle on her face.
"Ouch." Clary replied, though she smiled, clearly not hurt at all. Then, she pulled away and Jace reluctantly released her only because he could hear Jessamine's heels approaching.
The woman's manicured claws circled his arm, claiming territory. "Jace, who's this?" She asked with the plastered smile she saved for the cameras.
"Clary. I'm an old friend of Jace's." She introduced herself but didn't bother to offer a handshake.
"Lovely to meet you. I'm Jace's wife, Jessamine. I'm afraid I haven't heard much about you. Were you two close?"
"He took my virginity, if that's what you're asking." Clary bluntly affirmed. Jace fought a grin. He had always adored her sharp tongue. Jessamine simply blinked back, her camera smile never faltering.
"Is this your boyfriend?" She finally asked as the dark-haired man approached, placing a hand on Clary's lower back. Jace's eyes dropped, watching that hand like a hawk.
"Yes, this is Simon. Simon, Jace and his wife Jessamine." Clary ushered between all of them.
Simon's lips were tight and he gave a curt nod. "They should be starting soon." He murmured to Clary, his eyes back on her. She nodded back. "I'll save you a seat, Jace." She offered quietly as the pair walked away.
Jessamine waited until they were out of ear-shot and entering the building, before she scoffed. "That is one of your exes? You certainly upgraded didn't you." She laughed and Jace glared down at her. He wanted to tell her that she was a complete idiot. That Clary was better than her in every way. And that she wasn't an Ex. She may not be his present but she was his past and she was still his future.
"Let's go inside." He spat instead.
Once inside, Jace was greeted by faces pleased to see him. Valentine engulfed him in a hug, calling him Son. He even shook hands with a somber Sebastian. All the while, Jessamine trailed slowly behind him. He tried to ignore her looks of disgust at the burly, dirty, bikers that surrounded them.
When the eulogy started, Jace found a seat for him and Jessamine upfront, right next to Clary and Simon. He kept his eyes on the floor through the whole thing, unwilling to look up at the withered man in the open casket. Sebastian even took a turn to speak and he went on and on about how Stephan had become the true father he never had. Jace didn't realize that his hand was fisted, knuckles white, until Clary's hand slowly caressed it. He eased the tension enough for her to open his palm and interlace their fingers.
"You should get up there and say a few words." She whispered to him.
Jace hesitated, his thumb stroking over hers. "I don't deserve to. I wasn't here." He whispered back.
When Clary replied, her tone was tight. "Jace Herondale, if you do not want Stephan to roll over in his grave and haunt your ass, you will get your ass up."
Jace's mouth twerked on the side, as the Pastor asked if there were any others who wished to speak. "Yes, mam." He replied to Clary and stood, headed for the casket.
The approach felt like slow motion. He had not seen his father in two years and now his father looked like he was merely sleeping. Except those eyes weren't going to ever open again. That welcome home embrace was never going to happen. They would never ride side by side again.
Jace placed his hands down over his deceased father's that were folded over the old man's stomach. He felt cold to the touch. "I'm sorry." Jace could barely utter.
He turned addressing the crowd, his voice strengthening. "I will always regret the years I've spent away. The years I've spent being less than a son should be, while my father always did right by me. Did what he thought was best. The man taught me, above all, loyalty. And that it is something time and distance cannot test. I never thought our last good-bye would actually be the last. But his memory will live on through brotherhood." Jace nodded to the bikers around the room and they nodded back. "And me." He added affirmatively. His eyes ran over the guests and stayed on Clary. She bit at her lip as if there was something Jace had forgot to mention. When his eyes passed over Jessamine, he had to swallow the anger that flamed through him. The woman had her phone out recording the whole thing. No doubt to blast all over her social media.
Jace swallowed and stepped down as the Pastor resumed things. Sitting down next to Jessamine, Jace yanked the phone right out of her hands and she gaped like a fish at him. He deleted the video and shut off her phone before tucking it in the pocket of his suit jacket.
His eyes narrowed on her with menace intent. "This is a private funeral and you're embarrassing me." He furiously condemned. She stared back at him, incredulously, her eyes darting over the people in the large room. Jace could already hear her condescending thoughts. How dare he accuse her of being the embarrassment.
The funeral proceeded and Jace stayed even after his father was lowered into the ground. Jessamine had pouted off to the car and Simon had only left when Clary finally asked him to. Valentine kissed his daughters head and then left as well, leaving only the two of them to watch as the grave was filled.
Clary laced her fingers through his once more but Jace pulled her against his chest instead, her back to him and his arms wrapped around her shoulders. His chin rested atop her head and her small fingers gripped onto his forearm.
"People are gathering at the bar after this. You should come... Bring your wife." She said after a long silence. "If you have time."
Jace ran his lips down the arch of her neck. It was the lightest of grazes but her lips parted in a sigh. Even in grief, his desire for her burned in the pit of his stomach. It had been too long. "I'll be here all week." He replied.
She gasped and spun in his arms. "Thank God." She mumbled, burying her face in his chest to inhale. Then, she roughly pushed away from him. "I'll see you at the bar." She stuttered and then took off in a jog to the car.
Jace stared after her, confused by the abrupt parting but he let her flee, back to her boyfriend. Bile rose in his throat at the thought of her even touching another man. He leisurely tucked his hands in his pockets and looked back down at the mound of dirt that covered the grave before him. And then nodded a final farewell.
Jace didn't even tell Jessamine where they were going and she didn't bother to ask. Instead, she ranted about the dump of a town full of equally trash people.
"Wait... Excuse, me! What the hell is this place?" She demanded when they pulled up to a shabby building.
"It's the Rebel Stallion's bar." Jace answered, completely ignoring her indignation.
"We are not going in there! We are calling the lawyer to meet as soon as possible tomorrow and then we are leaving!"
Jace cleared his throat, and rang his hands on the steering wheel. "Let me explain something to you." He articulated calmly. "I do not give a fuck about what you do, but I am staying here and taking care of some business because contrary to what you believe, my life did not start with you." Jessamine tried to interrupt him but he sliced her with a hard glare and continued. "I do not give a fuck about what you think or say about this town or these people because you are wrong. So, now you have three options. Head back to New York on your own, stay and shut your trap, or spend the next five days tied to the bed post of our hotel room." He threatened, and it wasn't a bluff. Jace had never spent much time confronting her. He never cared enough to, but now she was in his world and would abide by his rules.
"What's it going to be?" He reiterated.
Jessamine narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms but her trap stayed shut. "Perfect." Jace complimented and got out of the car. He didn't bother to open the door for her, she was on her own. Although, she quickly scurried after him and clung to his arm as Jace pushed through the entrance. The place was full of bikers and OL' Ladies and children and friends. All those who were weeping a mere, couple hours earlier, were then laughing and toasting to Stephan's name.
Jace grinned, a real grin, he had not felt in a long time. Rebel Stallion brothers greeted him and cheered his arrival and shook hands. When he finally made it to the bar, his little red-head was behind it to greet him with a beer. "Hey, there again, Handsome." She smiled.
Jace looked over both shoulders at all the heads of people. "Where's the guy?" He questioned.
"He thought it best to call it an early evening." She responded, well aware of who he spoke of. She then gave him a wink and Jace began to salivate.
Jessamine snapped her fingers beside him. "Oh, look who's here. Mary, was it? You're a bartender? How fitting. I'll take a cosmopolitan, thank you." She sneered. Clary just smirked back at her, unfazed.
However, Jace leaned over to growl in the blonde's ear. "It's Clary. And what did I say about shutting that mouth?"
"Everyone around here calls her Baby Girl. Ain't that right?" Valentine's deep voice chatted from the other side of Jessamine. He shot his daughter a wink and she rolled her eyes before turning to get more drinks.
"What's your name, Beautiful?" He asked of Jessamine, with a devilish smile. Jace raised an eyebrow. He had seen Valentine charm a woman into his bed many a time, and that's exactly how it always started. And yet, he could not have cared less. Valentine could preoccupy his wife all he wanted. Jace had more important things to attend to.
"Here you are." Clary pushed a tall glass of brown liquid in front of Jessamine. It looked like the farthest thing from a cosmopolitan. But Clary didn't wait for an objection. "I'm going to go in the back and collect some more glasses." She announced. Her gleaming eyes of green, danced over Jace in a wicked glance.
Jace read that signal loud and clear. He finished off his beer and slammed the mug back down. "I'll help." He chorused, walking around Jessamine and clapping Valentine on the shoulder as he passed. On his way into the backroom, he reached for the volume knob for the speakers and cranked up the music.
It was dark in the deep closet, a dim lightbulb dangling overhead to light the place. Dusty shelves lined the walls, full of boxes and racks of bar equipment. Jace and Clary had just been teenagers the last time they stowed away in the room. It brought back memories that made his cock stiffen.
Clary was in the back, stacking heavy racks of glasses as if that's really what she came back there for. Jace approached her and took a rack from her hands to set it aside, before gripping her by the waist. Clary smirked up at him and let him take over as he pushed her back until she bumped into a small extra bar table. He looked down at her with the hunger of a starved man.
"So, you're going to bend me over back here while your wife sits just on the other side of this wall?" She goaded.
With an easy lift, Jace sat her on the table and stepped in between her legs. His forehead pressed against hers and his lips feather dusted along her mouth as he fought restraint and temptation. "Nope. I'm going to fuck you on this table with every part of you pressed up against me." He breathed.
Clary chuckled, well aware that he had avoided the important part of the question. "And your wife?" She pushed, drawing back with a tease before he could claim the soft lips of hers.
"What's a wife compared to my everything?" He countered with a groan. One of his hands ran not too gently up her body until it cupped the back of her neck. She was so soft and warm and familiar. He wanted her familiar wet heat to engulf him, as well.
Clary eyed his lips, her breaths quick turning to pants of desire. "Do I have to keep quiet?" She whimpered as Jace pulled off her leggings and hiked up her short dress. He cradled her face gently but when his mouth found hers, the kiss was hard and punishing. He wanted her so bad, it overwhelmed him.
"You scream my name as loud as you want, Baby Girl." He commanded, taking out his length. Just as eager, Clary grabbed for him. She placed him at her entrance and pressed her dripping slit onto him, with a deep, erotic moan.
Her head fell back when Jace bucked into her once more, sinking his member to the hilt. Sounds of pleasure poured from her lips with each thrust. The rickety table buckled and rapped against the wall from their savage and desperate movements. Heaving, Jace yanked at the dipped collar of her dress until one of her breasts spilled out. His mouth and tongue suctioned around her nipple with a crazed moan. He needed more of her. More of her in his mouth, more of her skin under his palms.
Clary was cursing and mewling his name in his ears. Her grip tightened on his shoulders and her pussy mimicked the action, squeezing and milking at his cock while her wetness flooded further around him. However, Jace had no intention of stopping things there. Being inside her was a punishment and a blessing. A reminder and promise, that the only real thing in their lives was that moment right then, between them.
Clary's slim body trembled against him, a horse cry tearing from her throat as another orgasm wracked through her. The sound of it had his shaft and balls constricting with pressure as his seed pumped inside her. Pleasure bathed through him causing all of his muscles to strain and his fingertips dug into her ribs. Clary panted and her exhausted, swollen lips latched onto his mouth, her tongue sweeping through and driving out another groan from his chest. The woman would forever be his weakness and his strength.
Jace gulped as they both tried to regain their breathing and equilibrium. He slid himself out of her but his hands spread her thighs wide. He watched with a smirk as his milky white cum seeped out of her still pulsing folds. Clary gave his shoulder a playful nudge but her lone finger reached down to curl through her slit before she placed it to her mouth and sucked it clean.
Jace watched the action mesmerized. "You are gorgeous." He rasped. Still smirking, Clary nodded to the shelf behind him. He looked over his shoulder and spied a folded pile of bar rags. He snatched one and handed it to her so that they could both clean up.
When they were decent, Jace palmed her face once more and left greedy, sensual kisses along her lips and jaw. "I've missed you." He lamented.
Clary's eyelashes fluttered, her eyes on his chest as her fingers played with the buttons on his shirt. "I know." She hesitated and Jace could feel again there was something she was not telling him. He had always been able to sense her secrets. "I want you to come to my place after this. There is something I need to show you." She finished.
"Yes." Jace answered without hesitation. Clary tucked her lip in trying to fight a smile but Jace's thumb tugged on her chin until she released, so that he could nibble that bottom lip with his teeth.
His red-head pushed at him, begging for a little distance after another whine of wanting escaped her. "I should get back out there before anyone sobers up." She chuckled. She slid around him patting his rear end. "Grab those glasses for me."
When they got back out of the closet, Jace spotted Jessamine on a stool by the pool table. Valentine loomed over her but she was smiling. "I think your Pops wants to bone my wife." He informed Clary as he followed her behind the bar to help.
She snorted, handing someone a beer. "Jealous?"
Jace smirked and spread a hand over her stomach to press her back into him. "He can keep her. We'll call it a trade." He replied. He hooked a finger into her shirt collar, pulling it askew to expose more of her collar bone. Creamy, freckled skin beckoned him and he could feel his erection come back to life. He dropped his lips in a soft, chaste kiss to the tender flesh.
"Let me get this straight!" Barked a familiar biker with slicked back, black hair. Jace remembered his name was Jaime. "This hot piece of ass, that you never see, is off limits with the threat of a death sentence but your wife is free game?" He demanded.
Jace smirked at Clary and her expression matched his. "Mind your business." Jace responded, but passed the boy another beer.
By the end of the night Jessamine was completely blacked-out wasted and dry humping Valentine with her tongue down his throat. Jace had half a mind to let them spend the night together but did not have time to deal with the morning drama.
Clary road shotgun next to Jace while his wife snored in the back seat. He carried the sloppy woman to their hotel room and tossed her into the bed along with a plastic water bottle and then went back to the car.
Jace got in the driver side and peered over at Clary's small frame. "This is weird." He stated.
Clary glanced about with an odd expression. "You're going to have to specify which part." She chuckled.
She was right. Their whole life situation was pretty fucked-up. But Jace relished the relief he felt that no matter what obstacle they seemed to face, Clary remained his, remained on his side.
"I meant travelling with you beside me. I preferred you sitting behind me with your arms wrapped around my chest." He explained.
Clary's eyes bore out the windshield, her soft smile wistful. "It's okay, I abandoned my bike not long after you left the last time."
The feeling that she was hiding something, burrowed through him once more. "Baby Girl—" He started but Clary cut him off.
"Stay the night with me?" It was more of a demand than a question and yet, he had no intention of denying her.
Jace drove through the quiet roads, Clary giving him a direction here and there. The narrow two-lane streets were just another blessing compared to the city. They pulled up to a small place. The lights were still on inside, glowing through the front window and screen door.
Clary got out of the car and walked straight in. Jace trailed just behind, he first retrieved his suitcase from the car trunk. And when he stepped over the threshold, the screen door slamming shut behind him, his whole face went slack in shock.
Clary crouched low to the floor with her arms spread open wide. "There's my baby boy." She cooed, as a little toddler with blonde curls waddled into her embrace. Clary picked him up, pressing hard kisses to his full cheeks. A thin, aged woman stood by. "I just couldn't get him to sleep for you." She admitted. Clary smiled kindly and thanked the woman, whom she called Maggie, for babysitting. Maggie gave Jace's frozen form a few weary glances. But Clary didn't bother to introduce him. Instead, she said goodnight and showed the other woman out the backdoor through the kitchen.
Jace heard all this transpire but his eyes had remained fixed on the drooling little boy poised on Clary's hip. He couldn't have even been two years old yet. Jace studied the shape of the baby's ears, the build of his small shoulders, the sun-kissed color of his skin and finally the green shade of his eyes.
"Can you say 'Hi' to, Daddy? Da-da?" Clary asked the little boy, as she strolled up to Jace with a smile. Jace was stoic with wide-eyes and had yet to move. However, Clary handed the boy to Jace easily, and his hands instinctively came up to take him.
She walked off, removing her jacket and shoes. "He doesn't do much talking yet. Just a handful of words. Apple, ball, puppy. Pops. Ma-ma is his favorite." She rambled, casually. Whereas Jace could feel every nerve snapping with sudden electricity through him. Down his back, arms, and chest.
"Ma-ma." The little boy mumbled, pointing out to Clary in confirmation. The air rushed out of Jace in a whoosh and his eyes suddenly became dry and sensitive. With a hand that trembled the slightest, he petted the baby's soft, blonde curls.
"His name is Jonathan Christopher Herondale, by the way." Clary's small voice offered. "Sometimes we call him J.C."
Jonathan's hand came up to stroke the rough stubble on Jace's chin. Jace finally tore his eyes from the boy to find Clary. She sat comfortably on the couch, a cheek rested in her hand, as she stared at the two of them.
Jace hesitated, finding the right words. He damn well knew the 'How.' And he was smart enough to decipher the 'When,' as well. "Why?" He finally uttered, knowing she would understand. Why didn't she tell him?
Clary bit her lip, her eyes casting down. "... You stopped calling." She whispered and then quickly went on. "And I know why. It was hard for me, too. Trying to find something to say besides how much it hurts to miss you. And it didn't hurt any less to hear about a life that I'm not a part of."
Jace took a seat on the couch beside her, supporting Jonathan on his knee. He half expected him to reach over for Clary but instead, the clearly sleepy baby, leaned into Jace's chest. His eyes becoming heavy. Jace rested his mouth atop Jonathan's head, breathing in the scent of the child he didn't know he had.
"But I was going to tell you." She insisted. "And then one day, I got a call from Michael." Jace's eyes snapped to attention, blazing. She looked at him sadly. "It was weird. He said that you had mentioned me before, several years ago, when you first moved to New York. And he wanted to know if I would like to come out for a visit."
The only thing keeping Jace's muscles from lashing out in anger was the fragile child caged in them.
"I told him that I didn't want anything to do with you. And then I changed my number. But it scared me, Jace. After everything you told me about him. I realized I was a liability for you and I couldn't let this guy use me or our baby against you. And if Michael really is dangerous... the less he could find out about, the better."
Jace nodded stiffly. Clary's eyes were imploring him. Deciphering him had never been too hard for her but she could not decide what he was thinking. And neither could Jace. He was practically blacking out with silent rage. For a long time, Jace hated himself for ruining his own life. And then, once, Michael had mentioned that it was probably in Jace's preference that things had gone the way they did. For Michael had already intended to retrieve him 'for his mother.' But he implied the other options would have implicated the Rebel Stallions.
He looked down at the peacefully sleeping toddler in his arms. Clary was right to keep their child a secret. Michael was a power drunk. He had naively thought it was just him. But it was clear then, that they were in danger, too. His woman and his son. Maybe even his brotherhood. They were under threat. It would only be a matter of time. And Jace wouldn't let that happen.
He stood up without another word. "Let's go to bed." He spoke. Clary obeyed, leading the way to a small room in the back. Big enough for her queen-sized bed and dresser. Moonlight streamed through the gauze curtains.
Jace laid Jonathan in the middle of the bed. Clary went into the bathroom while Jace pulled his bag out and changed into fleece pajama bottoms. When Clary came out of the bathroom, she stripped out her leggings and dress. Jace stood there at the side of the bed, waiting. And when she was down to her underwear, he handed her the t-shirt he had been previously wearing under his button-down. She had always worn his t-shirts when they spent the night together. That primal side of him, liked her to be marked by his scent.
She stepped before him, and let him slide it onto her like a nightgown. He stood, moving out of the way so that Clary could lie down. For a moment he stood there staring down at the two. His beautiful red-head curled around their son. Then, he pressed a soft kiss to her temple and climbed in on the other side of the baby.
Jace laid there awake for a long time, even after sleep had taken Clary. He watched their deep even breaths. It was strange. He had been a father for about a year and half without any knowledge. And as he watched the little boy sleep, he was sure he already loved him as much as Clary. Clary, the sole person Jace was certain that he would forever love most in the world.
And in just a few days, he was expected to leave both of them behind once again. He would rather face death... But no. Neither of those were options.
Jace had always been the enforcing type. When something needed done, he did it. When he wanted something, he took it. Very few obstacles seemed worth the brain power of solving. That was Clary's forte. Physical force suited him just fine. Consequences be damned. Of course, that's how pulling the trigger on Starkweather and committing second-degree murder had come so easily, without another thought. He did what he had to do. He went the furthest length to ensure his girl's safety. And then, the outcome had made him believe it was a mistake... But the real mistake was that he hadn't done the same for the past seven years. He had fucking let Michael take his life, his name, his happiness because deep in his darkness he thought he deserved it. But his family didn't.
Michael had become a problem. And he needed dealt with.
The next morning Clary sat at the small kitchen table, big enough for just two. She sipped her cup of fresh, hot coffee. An idle finger traced the bottom of the mug where the ceramic had started to crack. She sat in the silence. The weather had become too cold for the chirps of any morning birds. But the silence wasn't deafening. The faucet in the hall bathroom dripped and the hinges of the screen door in the kitchen creaked under the pressure of the autumn wind.
Jace slept in the bedroom, with his son's small body pressed up against him. Jace's arm made a fitting pillow for the little boy. Jonathan was usually an early riser but Clary herself had spent many years sleeping wrapped in the warmth of Jace. She too could have snoozed there all day.
For a long time, she thought the fantasies of a snuggled night with her family were long gone. And then it came out of nowhere. Perhaps that's what the rest of her life with/without Jace would be. A collection of blessed moments. But maybe in some way that's all life is for everyone.
Her eyes drew from the recess of space when the screen door opened slightly and Simon stepped in. His hair tossed and windblown.
"Hi." He said coming to leave a gentle kiss on her head. "Good morning."
Clary smiled quietly at him and took another sip of her coffee.
Simon stepped around for a minute, looking about, with his hands weighed into the pockets of his heavy jacket. "So, uh, I saw his car out there in the front..." He commented. "And he doesn't appear to be on the couch." He added, his gaze accusingly raking over the oversized gray t-shirt she wore.
However, her eye contact didn't waiver. "We didn't have sex, here. If that's what you're asking." She replied casually and took another sip. Although, her words had been precisely chosen.
Simon sighed and shook his head down in dismay. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to accuse of you anything..." Though his eyes glared furiously again at the shirt she wore.
"I was just doing a lot of thinking last night, you know." He pulled out the chair across from her. "Part of me never expected to actually meet Jace. And yesterday... it was tough for you and that was his Dad. I get it... Jace was clearly happy to see you." Clary furrowed her brow slightly as Simon rambled. "But then you said he would be here all week? And I'm trying to figure out what that means? For us? To him?"
He looked at Clary expectantly but when she didn't reply, he continued on. "Clary, I know when we first met, you made it clear that you were in love with a guy that you couldn't be with. And I have always understood that. With the way he left, it makes sense that you would have some unresolved feelings. But at the same time, you guys dated for only 3 years before things happened. And we've been seeing each other for nearly twice that long. Granted we didn't make things official until after Jon-"
At that point, Clary cut in. "Jace and I never started dating." She articulated. "We started having sex... But if dating is spending time with someone that you're in love with? Then Jace and I were 'dating' our whole lives." Her tone hinted in irritation.
"There's history there. Yeah. But I'm your boyfriend, now. Last time he swept in here and left you pregnant," He hissed the word in a whisper as if to emphasize the taboo of it all. "I was the one here to take care of you."
"What are you asking, Simon?" She bit out.
"What happens this week? Does this guy expect to just be able to come in and fuck my girlfriend while I turn a blind-eye? Commitment might not mean anything to him but it does to me. I'm obviously not going to be okay with that." He asserted, slightly frustrated that he even had to say it.
Clary almost snorted. She was fairly certain Simon's feelings were the last thing on Jace's list of shits to give. And Simon was wrong. Commitment, loyalty... it meant everything to Jace. It just didn't always look the same in someone else's eyes.
"I got the impression that he may be a decent guy. And maybe he still does have feelings for you but he needs to know the boundaries."
Someone did snort that time, but it wasn't Clary.
Jace stepped through the open kitchen doorway, shaking his head with a grin. His hair, disheveled from sleep, looked less neat than the day before. And instead of the suit, he wore faded jeans and a black t-shirt whose short-sleeved fabric barely stretched over his bi-ceps. Large tattoos of shades and colors, decorated here and there on each arm. Horses, skulls, guns, Latin phrases, red-roses wound with wild-flowers... He didn't really scream 'decent guy' anymore.
And basically, just to prove that, he stooped over Clary and pinched her face. His thumb and fingers pressed into the soft flesh of her cheeks, forcing her lips into a pucker. So that he could press a hard kiss on to them. "Morning, Baby Girl."
Jace strode over to the cabinets. "Where are the coffee cups?" He asked opening various ones and shutting them again.
"The one at the end." Clary instructed. Though she was watching Simon struggle in disbelief as he fought to find words. She wondered if he would actually say something. And then she wondered if she would have time to take him to get stitches before brunch with Valentine.
Amidst stirring his coffee, Jace tossed her a disapproving glance. "What's he doing, here?" He questioned.
"I could ask her the same thing." Simon voiced.
Jace turned around with a smirk. His butt pressed back into the cabinet drawer and he crossed one foot over the other. "And what would she say?" He prodded with smug, curious eyes on Clary. Those eyes not so subtly ran down her figure to her bare cream thighs.
"That's up to each of you, isn't it?" She challenged, boredly twirling a lock of hair.
"I have some business to take care of with Valentine after breakfast, Baby Girl." Jace abruptly announced, Simon forgotten. "I want to take Jon to the clubhouse with me. I need you to entertain Jessamine for a few hours."
Clary scoffed at him. "Yeah, right."
Jace's eyes narrowed a fraction over the rim of the coffee mug. "I'm not asking." He stated, his voice low and hard.
Clary glared at the table in front of her and huffed through her nose. "Fine." She softly relented.
There came a soft whine from the other room. Jace's eyes lit up and he set his mug down before hurrying out of the kitchen.
"Wha— What the heck was that all about?" An aghast Simon stuttered. Clary sighed and went to the sink to wash out their cups. Simon hovered behind her.
"He came in here laying some claim on you right in front of me? And then he started making demands and you're just going to submit?" He demanded, utterly baffled.
Clary smiled to herself in nostalgia. "I almost forgot how we look to everyone else." She murmured. Jace and Clary had their own way of communicating. This mix of rough and sweet. Harsh and gentle. And just between them, Jace had not been making demands. He was begging.
"And you're just going to let him take Jon? Just like that?" He continued to badger.
"Why shouldn't I? He just found out he has a son. Obviously, he wants to spend some time with him."
"To the clubhouse, though? I already don't think J.C. should be spending time there."
She heard what he didn't say. How could she trust Jace with her son? As if Jace was some stranger. Some kind of dangerous. As if time was supposed to have changed him into someone Clary no longer knew. As if distance would have the power to deteriorate the bond they had formed through their life and Clary was merely clinging to disillusioned scraps... Yes, she wouldn't have expected Simon to assume anything less.
"And I already told you that it's fine. I grew up around the MC. I survived." She affirmed.
"Yeah, you survived. But are you okay?"
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Clary growled, dropping the mug back into the soapy water so that she could turn on him.
Simon held his hands up in defense. "I'm not having this argument again."
But Clary wasn't having it. "You think I don't know what my family is? What they do?" She seethed, still keeping her voice low as if she actually cared about the privacy of their conversation. "But they're my family, Simon. I don't know what that means to you but to me it means that for all I care, the rest of the world can burn." She exulted and went back to her furious scrubbing.
"And me?" Simon quavered. "How do you feel about me?" His voice tried to hold back the simmering anticipation.
Clary sighed and grabbed Simon by the lapels of his jacket, pulling him close. "I don't know what I would have done without you all these years, Si. But you have been trying to save me since we met. When are you going to realize that I belong in this world? That this is a choice, not a sentence."
"I don't believe that." He said earnestly pressing his forehead to hers and holding her face. "I love you, Clary. You need to stop trying to convince me not to." He breathed, his mouth running over hers in a gentle kiss.
Jace's voice trickled down the hall, sounding in the middle of a one-sided conversation. "But that's a secret, so don't tell Mommy." He cooed to Jonathan. He cut off abruptly at the sight in the kitchen.
Clary's hands fell from Simon's jacket and she stepped away. However, her eyes challenged Jace's glare. He had thrown on his leather jacket and looked ready to leave to where Clary could only assume.
Jace silently put their son down and the little boy scurried off into the living room where his toy trucks laid about. But Jace didn't see. His eyes were zeroed in on Simon, who was scowling at Clary for her retreat.
Clary crossed the room, grabbing Jace's hand. "Come on." She ordered, tugging him for the front door. But Jace barely budged. He stood there fuming, his chest growing fuller with each breath. "Now, Jace!" She snapped with a hard jerk of his arm. She grew anxious. The longer it took Jace to get out of the room the more danger Simon was in and the boy didn't even realize it. Jace suddenly turned and stormed past her, becoming the one to tow her along.
"You can't hurt him." She said as soon as the door shut behind her.
"Like hell I can't." Jace retorted, massaging the aching urge in his fists.
"You're not going to hurt him. He doesn't deserve it." She urgently persisted.
Jace gave her an unamused laugh. "If he keeps fucking talking, he just might. So much for 'he gets it.'" He mocked in disgust.
Clary's arms flapped against herself in frustration. "Well, what the hell did you expect Jace?"
"You know what, Clary? I've never expected people to get it. I expect to have to make it clear." He fumed back at her.
Gravel crackled to the right of them as Simon's car backed out Clary's driveway. They could see him furiously scowling through the windshield. And then he turned and drove on down the street without stopping.
Jace turned back to Clary to say something else but the red-head's face grew dark. "Why don't you go check on your wife?" Her quiet voice coldly suggested.
With shame, Jace deflated instantly. "Clary..." He croaked in pleading, but she had already whipped around and went back inside.
Jace reluctantly left and headed back to the hotel. As soon as he entered the room, Jessamine was on him. "Where the fuck have you been?" She raged.
"Calm down. I went back to the bar after I dropped you off and I spent the night there."
"So, you just left me here with some water and my suitcase? Where's my fucking phone, Jace?!" She desperately held out her hand.
Jace rolled his eyes and took her cell out of his pocket. She snatched it and immediately stomped over the charger that was already plugged in. Her arms crossed tight around herself and she sat on the bed next to it, anxiously. She looked like a pouting child.
"Hurry up and get ready. We're getting breakfast with some people." Jace informed.
"Uhm. I don't think so."
Jace shrugged, picking his keys up once more. "Fine. I'll see you later." He replied, unbothered.
"Wait! Fine!" She quickly relented.
However, Jace didn't pause. "Good. I'll be waiting in the car."
It took Jessamine a good twenty minutes before she finally came out of the hotel. She wore an over the top coat of faux fur and sunglasses that covered most of her face. Thankfully, she didn't feel very chatty on the drive. Although, she made her distaste apparent as soon as they pulled up to Taki's diner.
"This place is disgusting." She sniffed. "And that hotel really isn't much better. I still can't believe you just left me there—OMG." She cut off in humorous astonishment. "Your little Ex has a bouncing baby brat! Awe, an illegitimate kid. I really shouldn't be surprised." She stared out the windshield at the small group of bikers and women that waited at the diner's doors. Jace smiled when he saw Clary patiently walking behind Jon as the toddler explored the diner's front landscaping.
"Jace..." Jessamine started. "That kid... He doesn't look anything like that girl's boyfriend. He actually looks a lot like..."
Jace kept his face blank. It was so obvious that the boy looked just like him. He tried to decide whether or not to try and lie his way out of things.
"Your Dad!" Jessamine exclaimed as if she had just solved some great mystery. She laughed sinisterly. "That bitch was totally hooking up with your Dad. Wow. Could things here get anymore white-trash?"
Jace chuckled once, too. But for a completely different reason. Jessamine was even denser than he had previously given credit for. "Interesting." He murmured in reply and stepped out of the vehicle. Jessamine did the same and when he rounded the car, her nails dug into his forearm.
"What the hell is she doing here, anyway?" She hissed.
"She's Valentine's daughter? My dad's VP? His best friend?" He dubiously questioned, assuming she may have picked up on some of those details at the funeral.
Jessamine quirked her eyes, none of it ringing a bell.
"The man who was playing hockey with your tonsils last night?"
Jessamine went erect. "I have no idea what you're talking about." And Jace knew then that she knew exactly what he was talking about. Especially, when Valentine walked right up to her.
"Morning, Darling. You sleep well?" He said.
Jessamine fluffed up her collar. "I'm afraid I had too much to drink last night and don't remember anything." She immediately insisted.
"Well, we've all been there, of course." He grinned, placing a hand low on her back. "Peggy and the boys are getting a big table together for everyone." He explained, directed to Jace, as well. Then, his voice lowered to a more intimate level when he offered Jessamine a mimosa to kick off her morning. He led her inside with him.
Meanwhile, Jace stalked the little toddler running around. He swooped Jon up suddenly, earning a childish squeal of delight. Jace's fingers wiggled around the boy's ribcage with tickles that brought out high-pitched giggles. The sound made Jace grin. As did the smirk on Clary's face as she watched the two boys play.
"Look who's all cooled off and happy to see me, again." He observed, stepping over to her. He tucked a wisping tendril of fiery-red hair behind her ear and ran a thumb over the light freckles of her cheekbone. "You know you love me."
Clary's brow furrowed and she bit her lip. "Heart-breakingly so." She whispered in agreement. She pressed her chest into him and tilted her chin up further. Jace answered by dipping his head to gently kiss her sweet lips. He did it because kissing her was the most natural thing to him, next to breathing. If Jessamine saw, so be it. His business with her would come to an end soon enough.
Problem was, even the little kisses with her left him wanting more. Because as soon as Clary tried to pull away Jace palmed the back of her head. His tongue traced the inside of her bottom lip and Clary sighed into him. Reluctantly, she gave him another shove, this time harder and Jace grinned at the deep blush in her cheeks.
Little J.C. who was still in Jace's arms, reached out for his Mama. Jace handed him over happily and lead the two inside along with everyone else.
They sat down in a large group section. Jessamine had been placed between two large men in nothing but wife-beaters and cuts. Jace sat by Clary and Valentine at the opposite end. He placed Jon in his lap so that the little boy could color.
"Baby Girl, I see your little friend Silas didn't stay and chat yesterday. Jace here scare him off?" Valentine started, full of baiting humor.
Jace immediately knew he was talking about Simon and clearly not with approval. He smirked at Clary, who was glaring her father. "Don't." She grunted.
"Still doing whatever it takes to piss Daddy off, I see." He commented.
Valentine nodded. "Her little friend doesn't like us very much. Not that he's welcome among us, anyway."
Jace grinned. "We had a conversation about him this morning. Never thought I'd say this but I'm glad you're stubborn with a blessing."
Valentine scoffed. "As far as I'm concerned. I only had one blessing to give and you already got it. Why she wastes her time with that fool I'll never know."
Chuckling, Jace petted his son's blonde curls. "Was that blessing before or after the baseball bat?" He wondered.
"Beating you with the baseball bat was your blessing!"
They laughed together in a way that made Jace miss his father. Being home brought a feeling of absence that he had long grown numb to. Being surrounded by family. Clary's presence. It was like being whole again. And he realized it was happiness and that he had forgotten the meaning of the word. Going back to anything less just might destroy him.
I did say there would be long chapters but this (After) just seemed excessive so I broke it into 2 parts, just to make reading easier.