My brother, Steven's older than me by 'bout twelve years. Neither of us had ever had enough food so we were both tiny.
But it was worse for Steven, boys are supposeta' be big and strong not small and weak. Ma always gave Steven more food in the hopes that he would bulk up a bit.
It didn't work. Mostly 'cause Steven always shared his food with me.
Ma would've been so mad if she knew what Steven was doing. She said that I'd hafta stay skinny and small otherwise no man would wanna marry me.
Whenever my caught me eating anything sweet like cookies or cake, she'd say 'Men do not want to marry whales Emmeline!' She said that men want women with tiny waists and big hips and breasts.
Ma spent most of my early life tryin' to make me inta a proper fancy filly*. Most of this time was spent tryin' ta cure me of talkin' like a street rat.
It didn't work.
In the end my decided that if I wasn't gonna be a lady then I should earn my keep. She said that I needed to go to work. Dad was real mad when he heard about that. He taught me how to read and write and do 'rithmatic.
She put me to work at a weavin' factory. But Steven got to go to school. my said that he needed an education if he was ever gonna make somethin' of himself.
Weavin' hurts my eyes and it makes my hands cramp. But I ain't allowed to complain. Or tell Steven. He'd make Ma send me back to school and then she wouldn't be able to pay for Steven's schooling.
Then when I was eight, Steven caught the flu. He got it real bad. Ma spent lotsa money on his medicine.
'Bout half of this money came from the money that she'd usually use to get food for me. The otha half was from my wages. I worked 'til three in the afternoon and then I hung around the fancy-pants streets and pick-pocketed. I wasn't allowed to go home until I'd gotten at least $50.
Often I didn't get to go home until past midnight then I had barely any time to sleep 'cause I had to be back at the factory by five-thirty sharp.
When Steven first got sick my meals were: Some sorta fruit for breakfast, nothin' for lunch and soup for dinner.
By the end of Steven's sickness, I was only getting fed one meal a day, Bone broth made with bones that had been used for broth so many times that they had no flavour or contents left. Basically, I was drinkin' hot water.
Then my got told about a miracle medicine. Mr Miller, from the flat below us, had also got tha flu.
Mrs Miller had thought that he was gonna die but then she got this miracle medicine, and after he took it, he was cured.
The only problem was that we couldn't afford it. That night Ma sat at Steven's bedside at stared at him for a long time.
*Fancy Filly = old slang for a fancy lady.