Yay! I updated!

Seriously though, I publish the next chapter of wanderling and almost immediately several stories are updated, then resulting in the longest period I've ever seen of people not updating. Gotta fight to keep my stories from going to page 2!

I have some big, and funny plans for this story. Now on a random note, comments!

ArrowOfTheMoonlark: Hmmm... (A scale suddenly appears)

Well, there is the fact that now I have someone stalking me online... (A heavy weight appears on one side of the scale)

But that means I get more comments! (A million ton weight appears at the other end, catapulting the other weight into oblivion. The scale explodes for no reason.)

I'm glad you liked it! GT is extremely scared to be sent to you. Or did that already happen? I really should stop messing with the timeline. BUT IT'S SO FUN!

MidnightBunnyy: Exactly! Someone is finally starting to understand the freudian humor I carefully insert into my stories. Fun Fact: After some searching when I was bored, there are actually a good amount of fanboys put there, they just appear few and far between, like inflictors. I know, but the caps lock IS STARTING TO GROW ON ME.

Mythicalis4real: A drive-thru! I might do that. They ate banana bread muffins. Ummm... Yes! You were the one who suggested GTina. He's already been shipped with. Read the intro for chapter 9 for some fluff. This was in the poll, but Sandor, Grady, Bo, and probably some others I haven't thought of.

Cary Swirls: THANK YOU! ONLY ONE PERSON VOTED FOR IT IN THE POLL WHEN IT WAS UP! (I'll count that as a vote). I will definitely write agents of K. A. B. A. F. S. soon, but I already have this story, my fluff(sokeefe is winning), and wanderling. I'm seriously considering becoming a comedian.

A very obsessed fangirl: Thank you for decrypting it!(albeit quite late) The pfia part was supposed to be a url but the website blocked it. you can go to it at

bit . l y / 3c8eyIa (remove the spaces).

I will be gone for the next five days so I won't be able to give out updates. It would be really nice if I could come back to a lot of comments, SO COMMENT!

Now, on with the story!

At the B. B. B. B. B. B. B. evil lair:

(We see a banner that looks like this:

Bruising

and

Beating

Bad

Brothers

Brutally

also

Biana

is

the

Best

We also see Dex, Sophie, Keefe, Tam, Linh, Wylie, and Marella sitting on either sides of a long table. Underneath them, is a glass barrier revealing a giant pit with the gorgodon in it, labeled "Throw Brothers/Enemies in here". They look quite nervous. We see at the end of the table there is a large red intimidating swivel throne. It turns around to reveal. Linh, who is stroking an Iggy with an eye patch in her lap. So just your typical james bond villain scene.)

Dex, Sophie, Keefe, Tam, Biana, Wylie, and Marella: (Quickly) Hail Fitz-Bashing!

Linh: This meeting is called to order. Now, first of all: Thank you Biana for supplying us this lair.

Biana: It was really nothing.

Linh: Second of all: YOU FOOLS! YOU IGNORANT FOOLS!

Others:(shrink back into their seats)

Linh: YOU LET THEM GET AWAY! REVENGE MUST BE TAKEN!

Keefe: That author guy, his weird pet wombat, and Jensi helped him get away! We need to get them as well!

Dex: Guys, it isn't justifiable to murder someone for this! Or kidnap Iggy from Sophie just because you needed him "For Effect!" You said the Neverseen kidnapped him!

Sophie: (sniffling) I thought he was dead!

Dex:(puts arm around Sophie)

Sophie: (Smiles) Thanks.

Linh:(seems to be about to explode)

Tam: Linh, I think you need to calm down. I think you're just angry because you liked Fitz, and that we can never see him again because Biana will maul him if we ever see him again. Come on, let's go.

(everybody gets up to leave)

Linh: (seems to reach boiling point, but calms down.) Well, you're welcome to leave. If you can make it past Lucy.

Dex: (confused) Lucy?

Linh: (Whistles)

(The gorgodon comes running out of its cage, with a giant nametag on its collar reading "Lucy")

(Everybody runs back to their seats)

Linh: Now that I have your undying loyalty, I'm going to get someone to help who can actually do this job.

Keefe: (realization covers his face) No! You can't mean him!

Dex: You're insane!

Linh: Quite the opposite. I think I've had a stroke of genius.

Sophie: Linh, what are you doing?

Dex: This isn't you!

Biana: Looks like we have some rebels in our group! Now, normally I would send you to a reeducation center, but I see what's happening here. I simply can't allow any sophex on the premises. even platonic. You see, the only thing I hate more than Fitz, is, in my opinion, bad ships. Luckily, I have just the solution for it.

Sophie: Linh, what do you mean-

Biana: Oh, please do be patient. You'll see in a moment. Lucy!

(Lucy runs and swallows up Sophie and Dex)

Everyone else: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

Linh: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Meanwhile, a short while earlier:

Jensi: Sweet Home Alabama!

Fitz: Where the skies are so blue!

GT: Sweet Home Alabama!

Me: Lord, I'm coming home to you!

Fitz: (turns off radio)I gotta say, human radio isn't half bad!

Jensi: Way better than elven music!

GT: What does elven music sound like?

Fitz: You don't want to know.

Me: So! Our first part of our quest-

Jensi: Wait, it's a quest now?

Fitz: I'm pretty sure it would be defined as a buddy movie disguised as a quest.

Me: QUIET! As I was saying, our first stop on our quest is to get a map-

Fitz: There's a map?

GT: Of course there's a map. There's always a map in these things. Plus romance.

Fitz: I don't mind the last part. (wiggles eyebrows at imaginary girls)

(everybody stares at him)

Fitz: Sorry, I forgot why we were on the run.

Me: Anyways, we have to convince a mercenary to give us the map. We'll have to go the bar that they arm-wrestle at, and negotiate with them.

GT: And let me guess, the bar will be full of angry bikers who we will inevitably aggravate.

Me: (stares at him) Are you psychic?

GT: No, I've just watched a lot of buddy-comedy movies.

Me: Fair enough. Look, there it is!

GT:(eyes widen) Well, this was unexpected.

Okay, sorry it was short. I wanted to get it out. Cliffhangers! This is my first one on this story. Aww, it's a baby cliffhanger. Isn't that cute?

Fans: (try to kill it)

Me: You really shouldn't have messed with the baby.

Baby Cliffhanger(I'm calling him "Cliffy" now): (cries)

Fans: (cover ears) The pain! That noise is too horrible! (runs away)

Me: Did I just create myself a new OC? Great. Well, this can't be worse than GT-

Cliffy: Goo-goo-ga-ga(Foolish mortal! I come from the deepest depths of the underworld! Bow down before me!) (breathes fire)

Me: Aww, look! 3rd degree burns! You are so cute. Let's make GT change your diaper. (Picks baby up and feeds it mallowmelt)

Cliffy:Goo-goo! Babababababa! (How dare you pick up the all-mighty destroyer of fandoms, the torturer of authors! I gave J. K. Rowling writers block for 19 years! I- Oh, wow. This is so good. BRING ME MORE SO I MAY USE ITS AWESOME POWER TO DESTROY THE UNIVERSE! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! MORE NOM-NOMS!)

Me:Well, my infinite mallowmelt generator came in handy for once! I wonder how it works...