A/N: I still don't know how often I'm gonna update this, or where the direction of the story is going to go, but Melody is going to be very OP. This is a crackfic, so just expect sheer ridiculous actions from some characters. With that being said, enjoy!

I'm annoyed. Again. Seriously, what the hell!? I expected some easy place! Not… HERE!

[You know, you should thank me.]

'And why is that,' I think back sarcastically.

[Easy. You didn't get attacked on your way here.]

'That could have been prevented by just not putting me on this island.'

[Can't you get off this island?]

'Are you stupid?' I asked. Of course there wasn't a way off this island! It's not like I could just walk!- actually, that could work. If I just build up enough speed, I could probably run on the water! The only problem, I don't think I have that high of a dexterity.

[Shouldn't you check your stats?]

Good point. Menu Stats.

Stats

Name: Melody Green

Title: The Gamer

Level: 18 (100/356300)

STA:

MANA:
Shop Points: 110.000

Skill Points: 110.000

STR - 18

END - 18

VIT - 18

DEX - 18

INT - 18

WIS - 18

LUCK - 18

Points: 90

Well then. I'll put 32 in Dexterity, as well as 32 in Endurance. That should allow me to run to the nearest island.

[You have reached 50 DEX, and are rewarded with the skill 'Godly Reflexes'

[You have reached 50 END, and are rewarded with the skill 'Insane Stamina'

Godly Reflexes [LEVEL MAX]

It allows you to run at 3x speed. That's it.

Oh, yeah. You run at 1 meter/DEX now. Have fun with that.

Insane Stamina [LEVEL MAX]

3x Stamina. That's it.

Well then, this will be so much easier. I have 50 Dexterity, allowing me to run at 50 meters per second, way more than necessary to run on water. Hey, game. Could you show me where the nearby islands are?

[Sure.]

So, the nearest island is about 5 hours away? Cool. I'm just going to start running. I hope there are some sea kings!

It turns out there were actually some sea kings. This might pose a problem.

Alright! I finally made it! So now I can actually find some people to talk to!

"Hey, look! There's a man standing on the water there!"

Wait.

I recognize that voice.

This is going to be so, so, so fun.

Troll Mode: Activate.

"Well, who are you people?" I said as I came to a standstill. Something I found out about while I was running for those hours was that you could take a break by just channeling Mana onto a surface to solidify it.

"WHAT!? ANOTHER!?" the combined voices of the Straw Hat Pirates shouted, obviously in awe of my awesomeness.

"Oh, hi," a voice that practically exuded boredom said, "You use chakra too, right?"

"Nope!"

"Oh? Then what do you use?"

"That's a secret!" I said, turning around to face the voice of absolute boredom.

"Hmm... Finally, something interesting," another voice said, this one dry as the earth.

Huh. I didn't expect this. I bet Gaia did this just to fuck with me because I asked for Earth Grudge Fear. What's next, Rimuru Tempest himself deciding to show up?

"Hello," I said, "I'm Melody."

"Ah. I'm Shikamaru. Nara Shikamaru."

"I'm Kakuzu. No last name."

Well then. This would be interesting… Let's try gathering information? "And how did you come to be here?"

"Well, Kakuzu over here tried to kill me, and then he realized if he worked with me, he could stop bounty-hunting, and just 'appropriate from the marines'. He figured that since he's gotten screwed over enough times by them that he wants to make up all that money.

"Time is money, but money is money. Thieves… are just annoyances."

Well then. I guess they have remotely similar personalities… time to try to find their motives.

"And are you going to attack me?" I said. I figured it would be better to just ask this straight-up. No use trying to gather information if it's freely available, after all.

"Only if you get in our way."

"And your way?"

"The New World."

"I see."

"HEY! ARE YOU ALL IGNORING ME! ME!? THE KING OF THIS ISLAND!?"

"Yes."

"Yup"

"Nope," I said, with a smirk on my face.

"FINALLY! SOMEONE WITH RESPECT!"

"I'm ignoring an utter fucking moron with schizophrenia, paranoia, a superiority complex, and possibly an IQ of about 4," I said with a smirk, "Not the king of this island."

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!"

"I honestly can't believe you have the intellect to even ask questions with your level of stupidity. It might actually rival the Celestial Dragons, and possibly even the Gorosei. No, scratch that. You're at the very least better than the Gorosei. But only by a bit."

"HOW DARE YOU! YOU KNOW… you have a pretty good boat there. Mind if I take it?"

"Yes," I said, "I feel like the people on the boat want the boat, since, unlike us, I don't think they can stand on water. Actually, I don't think you can, either." With that, I quickly closed the distance between him and just… pushed.

I smirked. "You know, Wapol, submarines might be fun, but they're not so helpful if you have a devil fruit."

"WHAT! HOW! HOW DID YO-" It was about then that he had stumbled enough, and I just pushed him again.

"GAH!" And it was about that time that he fell into the water.

"You guys," I said.

"AH!" Usopp said"

"Yes. You guys," I said, ticked off, "Can we hitch a ride to where you're all going? I'm only speaking for myself, but standing on the water takes quite a bit of energy, and I'm sure we'd all prefer to get to land as soon as possible.

Once we were aboard, I decided to see where they were from. Who knows, it might be fucking Wano-kuni, or something.

"So, Shikamaru, Kakuzu, where do you guys come from?"

"Kakuzu comes from the lands of the Hidden City, while I come from the humble 'trading town' of Flame Town. And you?"

"I come from the amazing, mysterious, unique place of… Seattle, Washington. No, seriously. The amount of weird shit that happens there you'd swear it was fictional."

"HEY, MELODY! JOIN MY CREW!"

"Troublesome…"

"You know, I'd love to accept, but I don't want to join a crew right now. Maybe if we meet up again, but I've already got plans in mind," I smiled, "With that said, if I make a crew, I'll definitely ally with yours."

"Good enough…" Luffy smiled, "But I still hope you're gonna join later!"

"You know what, I'll accompany you for a while, how about that?"

"Great," the Self-Proclaimed 'Greatest Swordsman' Roronoa Zoro, "Do you mind sparring with me?"

"Only if our friends decide to do it too."

"Troublesome…"

"Only if you pay me."

"Well then! This is going to be great! Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to go to sleep. I haven't slept in a week," Then I fainted.

A/N: You have no idea how annoying this chapter was to write. I have a few ideas about where I want this story to go, but all of them are going to be way too much effort. I could focus on the worldbuilding of this story, but then I would have to spend time creating OCs, and One Piece is already built up enough. I could also have more focus on the action and fights, but that would be much shorter than canon, and I, quite honestly suck at fight scenes. For a fanfic recommendation, I'd suggest Remnant: Life in the Shadows, a fun, crack-ish series, that crosses D&D with RWBY. And vampires. Definitely vampires. Honestly, just check out any of the fics he makes, they're all amazing! Also, I'm very tired, and shouldn't be writing now, but who cares. Also, I still can't add enters, so someone please help.

Enjoy!