Rodney walked down the hall, reading a report on the tablet in his hand, and muttering to himself. He'd only been gone a little over a month, and in that time the science division had utterly fallen apart. He ignored the scientists and Marines around him as he tapped out notes on the computer telling Zelenka to stop work on the power conduits and send someone down to check the desalination plant.
He turned another corner and only noticed something was wrong when the noise level dropped to silence. Rodney looked up and found himself in a deserted hallway with no memory of how he'd ended up there. He thought he was headed for his lab, but the distraction of the report he'd been reading meant he must have made a wrong turn.
"Pay attention to where you're going next time," he muttered to himself in a voice that sounded remarkably like Sheppard. He turned around, intending to head back to the last branching hallway when he found his way blocked by a tall Marine he didn't recognise.
"Do you mind," he muttered with a glare up at the Marine and tried to move around the human barrier.
The Marine shifted in front of him again, and before Rodney could blink, he was pressed up against the nearest wall with the Marine's arm braced against his throat.
Rodney dropped the tablet and grasped the arm choking him with both hands. "What the -" he wheezed as the Marine bent forward until his face was only a few centimeters from Rodney's.
"Alex Vance sends his regards," the Marine growled and increased the pressure on Rodney's throat, cutting off his air supply.
Black spots encroached on the edges of his vision and Rodney struggled harder. The Marine only laughed at his efforts to free himself and increased the pressure against his throat.
Rodney woke with a start, his heart hammering in his chest as he gasped for air.
"Not again," he muttered to himself as he wiped the sweat off his forehead with the sleeve of his t-shirt. He pushed the restrictive sheet and blanket out of the way and sat on the edge of the bed. His hand throbbed in time with his racing pulse as he sat with his arms wrapped around his chest and tried to get his breathing under control.
He'd had the same dream a few times while on the way back to Pegasus aboard the Daedalus. Luckily, the ship wasn't overloaded with new personnel, and he'd had quarters to himself this trip. No fear of Sheppard finding out about the recurring nightmare, and he hadn't mentioned anything about the bad dreams to John, either during the trip or once they were back in the city. He didn't want to jeopardise the awkward truce between them by bringing up what had happened with Vance.
Rodney felt around the table next to the bed for his watch to check the time before he remembered he'd never replaced it after Bowers had kidnapped him. The pinkish light coming in through the window told him it was still early in the morning, and the clock on his desk confirmed it wasn't much past dawn. He scrubbed his unbandaged hand over his face and sighed.
"No point in trying to go back to sleep now," he muttered, pushed himself to his feet, and went into the bathroom.
After a careful shower, he shaved, dressed, and decided to head for his lab for a few hours before meeting the rest of the team for breakfast. He'd talked to Zelenka a few times while still on Earth, so he knew most of what had gone on while he was away, but he still felt like he needed to catch up on what he'd missed over the last month.
You really need to figure out a way to make that trip shorter, he told himself as he headed for the transporter. Three weeks on the Daedalus was too long. Anything could happen to his city in that time.
Not that he planned to return to Earth any time soon, he told himself as he walked. Anything of interest or importance was here, not there. But if Sheppard or Elizabeth wanted to go back, they needed a better, faster way to get home.
He was so preoccupied with finding a solution to the distance problem, he didn't see the Marine walking down the hall in the opposite direction until it was too late and they collided.
"Sorry, sir," the Marine said, and reached out a hand to keep Rodney from falling.
Rodney fell back a step, wincing as he cradled his hand against his chest.
"Are you all right, sir?" the Marine asked with polite concern.
Rodney gave the young man a wary look even as he waved off the apology. "It's fine," he muttered as he eased out of the Marine's hold on his arm. "Umm, sorry."
He hurried around the corner and tapped the sensor for the transporter.
Logically, he knew there was no way Vance would be able to send someone after him or Sheppard this soon. He had expected the plan at the mine to work, Rodney told himself as he tapped the section of the map for the science labs, there would have been no reason to send someone to Atlantis so soon.
But what about the next batch of new Marines the Daedalus brought out? he thought as he stepped out of the transporter and headed down the hall to his lab. Or the one after that?
Sheppard had told him Vance had managed to escape the FBI cordon in Colorado. Were either of them really safe, even in another galaxy? Based on the recurring nightmare, his subconscious, at least, thought the answer was no.
He let the door to the lab slide closed behind him and sank down in his desk chair. Had Sheppard considered the possibility Vance could send someone to Atlantis? Was Landry or that sergeant, whatshisname, Harrison? Harriman? Were they making sure no one with ties to Vance managed to get assigned to Atlantis?
He swallowed and stared around the room. What about the scientists? he wondered. Sending someone disguised as a member of the science teams made sense. Rodney spent most of his time surrounded by members of the various science teams. There was likely to be less scrutiny of a civilian as well.
Stop it, he ordered himself. Vance was on the run. The last thing he had time for was continuing his vendetta against Sheppard.
Rodney took a deep breath and powered up his computer. He'd catch up on what the science division had been up to for the last month, and then meet the team for breakfast.
Two hours later, he wandered into the mess hall and picked up a tray. He was near the end of the line when he paused at the coffee urns, lost in thought.
"Rodney, do you require assistance?" Teyla asked and stopped at his side.
"Oh, umm, no. No, I've got it," he replied. He quickly filled a cup, set it on the tray, and followed Teyla to their table near the windows.
"How is your hand?" she asked as they started to eat.
Rodney shrugged. Carson had been right, his hand was hurting more this morning, which he hoped was a good sign in the long run. He still couldn't move his fingers, however.
"It hurts," he admitted and nodded to Ronon as he sat down next to him. Sheppard took the seat across from him, next to Teyla.
"Anything of interest in the books you brought back from P4J-958?" Sheppard asked after they'd been eating for a few minutes.
"No idea. I handed them off to Chaudhri and the translation team." Rodney shrugged and ate a few bites of egg. "With the books we brought back from the archive on Mendar, they have their hands full. Might be a while before they can get to them."
John gave him a non-committal grunt and drank some of his coffee.
Rodney glanced over at Sheppard, then down at his plate, and finished his eggs.
As the awkward silence grew, Teyla sipped her tea and glanced first at Rodney then at Sheppard. "Have you spoken to Doctor Weir about the trip to Lurra?" she asked John.
Sheppard shook his head and glanced at McKay. "Not yet. Was going to do that after breakfast."
"What's this?" Rodney asked, looking from Teyla and John.
"Sergeant Thompson and Halling recently met Prin while on a trade mission. While we were in the infirmary yesterday, I mentioned to Colonel Sheppard that Prin asked again if we would be interested in visiting Lurra now that it is summer on the planet." She set down her teacup. "Many of the Lurrans will have goods available for trade."
Rodney sat up and gave Sheppard a hopeful look. "Maybe search for that Zed-PM that's supposed to be there?" he added.
"And he makes fun of me whenever anyone mentions Ancient weapons," John said with a grin.
"This is different," Rodney retorted. "Think of what I … we," he quickly amended, "could do with a second Zed-PM."
Ronon swallowed a bite of pancake. "We have one. Why do we need another?"
Rodney gave him an impatient glare. "Atlantis was designed to use multiple Zed-PMs. Yes, one is nice and keeps the lights on, but with another one …" He shook his head. "We can never have too much power," he finished and drank some of his coffee.
"Before you start planning upgrades," John said, "I still need to talk to Elizabeth. It may not be an easy sell for her. She doesn't want anyone to know the city survived, remember?"
Rodney waved his injured hand to one side. When he saw Sheppard eyeing the bandage, he hid his hand under the table. "What can be so hard to explain. More power, less chance of the Wraith destroying the city if they find out we're still here."
"That's the problem," John replied. "How are we supposed to explain to the Lurrans why we need the ZPM if the city was destroyed by the Wraith?"
Rodney opened his mouth, but he didn't have a good answer and snapped it shut.
"Exactly," John said.
"We'll think of something," Rodney said with a shrug. "We could really use that Zed-PM."
"We could tell Yev the truth," Teyla suggested.
John finished his coffee and stood. "Maybe. I'll go talk to Elizabeth. I'll let you know if we have a go for the mission."
"I will be in one of the workout rooms. I promised Sergeant Stephens I would meet with him to practice his stick forms."
"Ronon," John said as he picked up his tray. "McKay. See you later."
~*~*~*~ SGA ~*~*~*~
John strolled through the control room on the way to Elizabeth's glassed-in office and tapped on her door.
"John, come in," Elizabeth invited with a smile. "What's on your mind?" she added as John sat in one of the chairs in front of her desk.
"I assume you heard about Thompson and Halling meeting one of the Lurrans a few weeks ago?"
Elizabeth nodded and closed her laptop. "I did. Sergeant Thompson mentioned something about a trade for food."
John leant back in his chair. "There's something else worth checking out on Lurra."
"You mean the ZPM the other Elizabeth told us about."
"We never did get a chance to look for it," John pointed out. "There's no reason to think the ZPM isn't still there."
"And how do we explain wanting to look for it?" Elizabeth asked with a frown. "As far as the Pegasus galaxy is concerned, everyone has to believe Atlantis was destroyed."
John leant forward with his arms braced on his knees. "We've found any number of abandoned outposts and research stations in the last year. We can tell the Lurrans we relocated to one and need the ZPM to power it."
Elizabeth pursed her lips and gave John a sideways glance. "Your team just got back from a mission yesterday, Colonel. Why the rush to go back to Lurra?"
John sighed and stared at the bowl at the end of the desk. How did he explain this? he wondered. If he said too much, Elizabeth could ground the team. If he said too little, she wouldn't understand why he was concerned.
"John? Is everything all right?"
John sat up straight in his chair and took a deep breath. "No, not really."
"I see."
"The team is … off," he tried to explain.
"Off? How?"
John scrubbed a hand over his chin. "We're just not all on the same page," he finally said. "McKay's hand aside, we got lucky on this last mission. Lurra is a safe planet. We know the people there. We just need a chance to figure out how to work together again."
"Team building, you mean." Elizabeth cocked her head and smiled.
John chuckled. "Just don't use that term around McKay. It's a good plan. We do a little exploring, a little trading, maybe find another ZPM to power the city." He gave Elizabeth a serious look. "And, hopefully, we get our rhythm back at the same time."
Elizabeth started to say something in reply when she looked up, and her expression changed from teasing to concerned. John turned around and saw Beckett standing in the doorway. It was clear from Carson's stiff posture and the way he gripped the file folder in his hand that whatever news he had was serious.
"Sorry to interrupt, but I think you both need to hear this," Beckett said and held up the file folder.
"Carson? What's wrong?" Elizabeth asked and waved at the chair next to John.
"We finished the analysis of the sap Rodney encountered yesterday," Beckett replied and passed over the folder. "In amongst the minerals and sugars we'd expect to find, there was also a strong alkali compound. Rodney is lucky the burns on his hand weren't worse." He turned to John and added, "He told me Ronon warned you not to flush out the burns using water."
John nodded.
"He was right. If you had, there's a good chance he would have lost complete use of his hand." Carson looked down at his hands. "The burns did enough damage as it is."
John sat forward in his chair with a frown. "Wait. What do you mean?"
Carson glanced at John and pursed his lips. "I thought Rodney would have told you …"
"Told me what exactly?" John asked, his tone serious.
"Carson?" Elizabeth added, looking up from the report in her hand.
Beckett sighed. "The burns are bad," he finally said. He looked from Elizabeth to John and added, "He will most likely have scars across his palm and fingers."
John studied Carson's expression and stiff posture and knew there was more to it than just a few scars. "What else?"
Carson glanced at John and hesitated. "As of right now, he can't really move his fingers."
John heard Elizabeth hiss in a breath.
"Now, part of that may simply be the current trauma," he hurried to add.
"But you think it's more than that," John said.
Beckett nodded. "We'll know more once the burns have healed, but as it stands, Rodney will likely lose some significant range of motion in his fingers."
John pinched the bridge of his nose. Damn it, Rodney. Why didn't you say anything about this? he asked though he suspected he knew the answer. Just one more example of McKay pulling away since the Doranda mess.
"You didn't know?" Elizabeth asked, concern lacing her tone.
John dropped his hand and shook his head. "All he told me was that he needed to be careful of infection," he growled.
"John …" Elizabeth started to say as John stood and paced the area between the desk and the door.
Beckett glanced at the open door. "What is the link telling you?" he asked in a near whisper.
"Nothing," John said then paused. "No, that's not right. The itch is there, but it's been there since yesterday." He stopped and stood with his arms crossed over his chest. "I just want to know why he didn't tell me the truth," he muttered more to himself than to Elizabeth or Carson.
"My guess is, he's afraid," Carson said softly. "Afraid he won't be part of your team any longer if the paralysis is permanent."
John grasped the back of his chair and ducked his head. He took a breath, then looked up at Elizabeth. "This is why we need to go to Lurra. Trade and ZPMs aside, we need to figure out how to work with each other again."
Elizabeth turned to Beckett. "Is there any medical reason to keep Rodney in Atlantis?"
Carson thought for a moment, then shook his head. "He does need to be careful." He glanced at John. "If any of those blisters were to break, an infection is a serious concern. Garen will know what to do, though, if anything should happen."
"Garen?" Elizabeth asked.
"Their healer," Carson told her. "He and his wife were invaluable when we were there last winter," he added with a nod at John.
Elizabeth clasped her hands together on the desk. "All right, Colonel. You have a go to return to Lurra."
John stood straight. "Thank you."
Elizabeth nodded. "Just be careful."
"Trust me," John replied.
"Not just for your own safety, Colonel," Elizabeth admonished. "For the safety of this base and the people here, the Lurrans can't find out about Atlantis."
John nodded. "Understood."
Elizabeth sat back in her chair. "You can leave this afternoon."
John nodded and left the office. He caught up with Carson in the hallway leading away from the control room.
"You're sure it's all right for McKay to leave the city?" he asked with a glance at a pair of Marines walking down the hall in the opposite direction.
Beckett studied his face for a moment, then nodded. "He wasn't lying when he said he needed to be careful of infection. But as long as he's careful, and keeps the dressings clean, there shouldn't be anything to worry about."
John pursed his lips. "He just forgot to mention everything else."
"Yes, well, I get the impression he's not too sure of a few things at the moment."
Carson waited a beat then started down a different hallway, but John stopped him with a hand on his arm. "I'm not going to leave him to deal with this alone," he vowed.
"I know you won't, John," Beckett replied with a tight smile. "But you need to make sure Rodney knows that too."
John watched him turn the corner and tapped his radio as he walked toward his office. "Sheppard to McKay."
There was a pause and then, "McKay here."
"Elizabeth signed off on a return trip to Lurra. Do you still have that program you wrote to find the ZPM using its mineral content?"
"Umm, no. The scanners have limited memory. I offloaded the program once we were back to free up space on the scanner."
"Can't you just put it back?" John frowned when, after several seconds, McKay didn't answer.
"McKay?"
"It was on my … it was on the computer Grodin built for me last year. The one that went out the window when that Wraith grenade exploded."
"Oh."
John heard a soft sigh over the radio.
"Give me some time. I can have it rebuilt in a few hours," McKay offered.
John rubbed his head against the building headache from the link. He remembered the comment about hunt and peck typing and wondered how McKay was going to manage with his hand bandaged. Maybe if Zelenka did the typing while Rodney dictated the code …
"See if Radek can help," he suggested.
"I don't need -"
"McKay," John interrupted. "Get Zelenka to help you."
"Fine," McKay huffed over the radio.
"And McKay?" he added.
"What?" McKay growled back.
John heard the pain underlying the brusque response. "Take your pain meds," he told him kindly.
Another long pause over the radio, then. "Oh. Umm, right."
"We'll leave for Lurra once you and Zelenka have the program done," John told him.
"Yes, yes, fine," McKay replied, and the radio clicked as he cut the connection.
John continued down the hall to his office, shaking his head. First, McKay conveniently forgot to tell him how serious his hand was. Now, he was refusing to get help from Radek when he needed it. He was backsliding into old habits, habits John had thought they'd put behind them over the last year and a half.
That was until Doranda.
"You asked me to trust you, and I did. And we both know what happened. It's going to take some time before I'm ready to take that chance again," he remembered telling McKay on the Daedalus.
Part of the problem was, neither of them knew what to do next, how to rebuild that lost trust.
His father hadn't been happy with his decision to go to Stanford instead of Harvard. The last straw, however, had been when he'd decided to major in aerospace engineering instead of business and joined the Air Force. John had been prepared for his father's reaction, if he were honest with himself, he had even relished it.
What he hadn't expected was David siding with their father. He had accused John of running away, abandoning his responsibilities to the family in order to indulge his personal whim of flying airplanes. John had been shocked, to say the least. David had always acted as though he was on John's side when he fought with their father over his future. John had left the house after that last fight and hadn't looked back in almost fifteen years.
He had forgiven McKay for Doranda and everything that had happened with the Arcturus device. Of course, he'd neglected to tell McKay that, John thought wryly, and rubbed where the itch tickled the back of his head. He had never been much for words. He preferred letting his actions speak for him.
Unfortunately, his actions of late had sent the wrong message.
He leant against the wall in the deserted hallway and sighed. If they had any chance of fixing their friendship, one of them had to make the first move. The problem was, he wasn't sure if he was ready for it to be him.
He pushed off the wall and continued down to his office. He'd let Teyla and Ronon know the mission to Lurra was a go, start to deal with the pile of paperwork that had accumulated on his desk over the past month, and try not to think about his issues with McKay for a few hours.
He tapped his earpiece as he walked. "Sheppard to Teyla," he said and waited for her to answer. When he didn't get a response, he tried again. "Teyla? Come in."
John paused then remembered she was teaching a stick fighting class and probably wasn't wearing her earpiece. He could wait and try calling her again, or he could go over to the workout rooms and let her know in person the trip to Lurra was a go. He glanced from the door to his office, then back down the hall to the transporter.
It wasn't much of a decision.
He walked back to the transporter and tapped the section of the map with the gym and workout rooms. He stepped out of the transporter near the gym and walked down the hall toward the room Teyla used for her classes. The late-morning crowd was making use of the gym, and he glanced into the room when he heard the sound of conversations and activity as he strolled past.
A couple of the new Marines were practising takedowns on one set of mats, a couple more spotted a third using the weight machine in the corner. Thompson and Garcia were on the far side of the room with one of the nurses from the infirmary and Corporal Masters. He watched as Masters lightly grasped a set of parallel bars as he slowly shuffled back and forth between them.
He had been so wrapped up in his own team problems since his return, he hadn't had time to check in with Thompson to find out how Masters was after the Genii attack last month. He knew from Lorne's personnel reports that Masters had been released from the infirmary while John was coming back from Earth with McKay and Dex.
Still, he chastised himself, he should have talked to Thompson sooner.
He glanced down the hall toward Teyla's usual work out room, then entered the gym instead. He skirted around the Marines working on the mats, and when he caught Thompson's eye, jerked his head in a follow-me gesture.
Thompson nodded back, said something to Garcia on Masters' other side, and walked over to Sheppard.
"How's he doing?" John asked with a glance at Masters.
Masters reached the end of the bars but must have turned too fast. He winced and started to fall, and tried to catch himself on the bars.
Garcia leapt forward to grab him.
"I got it," Masters said to Garcia, his voice a bit breathless. "I'm good."
Garcia glanced at the nurse who nodded, and Garcia let go of Masters' arm.
John watched as Masters took a deep breath and started back in the other direction, barely touching the bars as he walked.
Thompson pursed his lips. "The bullet he took did a lot of muscle damage, but Doc Beckett is happy with his progress. Another couple weeks of therapy and he should be cleared for 'gate travel."
John nodded and watched as Masters made his way back in the other direction, Garcia hovering next to him. "No one had any run-ins with these Genii while we were gone?"
Thompson shook his head. "Major Lorne has standing orders to be on the lookout for any other Genii activity, but so far, no one has seen anything."
Masters made it back to the far end of the bars, and the nurse helped him settle in the wheelchair.
"Sir?" Thompson asked with a glance at Garcia pushing the chair toward the door.
"Go," John said with a smile.
Thompson nodded his thanks and hurried to catch up with the rest of his team as they left the gym.
John followed them out to the hall and turned toward the smaller workout rooms. He knew which room Teyla preferred for her classes and was a few steps away from the door when he heard the sharp crack of stick hitting stick in quick succession.
Whoever was in the room with her, wasn't Stephens, John realised and hurried the last few steps to the room when he heard a grunt of pain that sounded strangely like Ronon.
"You are holding back," he heard Teyla accuse and peeked into the room.
Teyla stood a few paces away from Ronon who was down on one knee, rubbing his side. Ronon said nothing and pushed himself back to his feet.
"Spent too long on the Daedalus," Ronon replied. "Out of practice, I guess."
John could tell Teyla didn't believe the excuse and watched as they circled one another.
Ronon feigned to Teyla's left. She didn't take the bait, and Dex attacked her left side again, this time in earnest. Teyla blocked most of the ensuing hits, but Ronon finally managed to break her defence, and landed a solid blow to her legs, dropping her to the mat.
Teyla nodded her thanks when Ronon pulled her to her feet, and she readied herself again.
This time, Dex launched a series of quick hits to Teyla's upper body. She easily blocked his attack, then she forced one of her own, hitting Ronon in the ribs again before tripping him and sending him to the mat.
Ronon grimaced and rubbed his side before climbing back to his feet.
"Are you all right?" Teyla asked. She dropped her stance and took a step back from him.
"I'm fine," Ronon growled. "Let's go."
Teyla shook her head. "Something is not right," she said and studied him for a moment. "You seem distracted. What is the matter?"
"Nothing," he told her and readied himself for another round. "Let's go."
Teyla took a step back. "Did something else happen while you and Colonel Sheppard were on Earth?"
"What? No." Ronon twirled one of the sticks in his hand. "Did you want to practise or not?"
Teyla eyed him for a moment, then took her ready position. "Then what is it?" she asked as she tested his defences. "You are usually not this easy to overpower," she told him as she feigned an attack on his right side, caught his sticks in a cross hold, and John winced as she tripped him again.
Ronon landed on his back with a grunt and lay there for a moment, breathing heavily.
"What is wrong?" she asked again, and walked over to the bench where a bag and a towel sat. She patted her face with the towel, then turned back to Ronon as he climbed to his feet.
"Sheppard knows about what happened with Kell," Ronon admitted and dropped his sticks on the bench.
"I know," Teyla replied. "He mentioned it yesterday."
"He was angry we didn't tell him the truth." Ronon gave her a sideways glance.
Teyla sighed. "He mentioned that to me as well."
Dex took a deep breath. "I'm sorry."
Teyla looked up at him.
"I wasn't thinking about anything other than making Kell pay for what he did." Ronon looked down at his hands. "I put you in danger." He glanced over at her. "I'm sorry."
Teyla took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Thank you."
Ronon nodded. "We good?" he asked a moment later.
She turned to him and smiled. "Yes." She stood and picked up her sticks. "Now, I believe you promised me a workout."
Ronon grinned and picked up his fighting sticks. He twirled one of his sticks as Teyla circled him.
"Ready?" Ronon asked and immediately launched an attack.
John watched them attack and counter for a few more minutes, then stepped back from the doorway and quietly made his way back to the transporter. Teyla and Ronon's problem, at least, appeared to be resolved. If only he could say the same about himself and McKay. Hopefully, the trip to Lurra would give them a chance to mend some fences as well.