Sasuke wasn't exactly certain what to make of his new team.
He had always regarded Naruto as somewhat of a fool. Goofy and mostly harmless, the boy had had his head stuck in the clouds for all the time that he had known him at the Academy. Naruto flitted from one interest to another, seemingly at random; his interests were strangely scattered, with some strange obscure things capturing his full, smouldering attention, and other more important things left casually dismissed.
Ultimately, Sasuke had disregarded Naruto as an airhead. He was wrong, of course. And his wrongness had given him quite the rude slap in the face. Nothing could ever be so simple, he learned.
He'd learned nothing, Sasuke bitterly thought to himself. He still failed at looking underneath the veneer that people put up around themselves. Still failed to recognise what people truly were.
If he had just looked, he would have seen what a truly… unhinged individual Uzumaki was. Just like Sasuke's own older brother. Ostensibly a functioning person, but deeply disturbed in some fashion just beneath the surface.
Sasuke had perused the grand Uchiha libraries on clones after seeing the efficacy with which Naruto wielded his. Shadow clones, he had read after the exhausting bell test, were effectively perfect copies of the user. They were unique in that they eschewed the elemental nature of other clone variants in favour of the user's pure chakra; which meant that there was a unique sense of agency and self-awareness that came with being a shadow clone.
Which, of course, meant that Uzumaki Naruto was batshit insane.
There was a reason that most ninja didn't use shadow clones, despite their amazing utility. They had the capacity to be incredibly learning tools, what with their memory feedback abilities. So why didn't more ninja use them? Surely every jounin had the control and chakra capacity necessary to make at least a few of them, right?
The problem was how sentient they were.
Where other clones had a sort of mental simplicity that made it easy to order them around, shadow clones were more or less mentally indistinguishable from the user, complete with all the mental faculties that came with being a full-fledged human.
Shadow clones had proven to be fickle, incredibly so. Some users found that their shadow clones turned on them, attempting to take their place. Others found that their shadow clones refused to follow orders, stuck in a depression that came with knowing that they were a mere temporary existence.
It took a certain type of person to use shadow clones. Someone with either such incredible nihilism that they just didn't care, or someone with suicidal tendencies to begin with. In any case, nobody that was sane used shadow clones.
But Naruto had made thousands of clones, and used each and every one of them in some suicidal attempt to get the bells during the test. And it was during a test! Not a mission or anything. Not a life or death situation.
His new teammate had effectively created thousands of sentient copies of himself, and each and every one of them agreed to commit violent suicide to pass an arbitrary test set by a clearly mentally unwell man.
Sasuke shivered at the thought.
The more Sasuke read about shadow clones and the more he thought about Naruto in general, the more upset he got.
"Whatcha thinkin' about?" Naruto's bright visage suddenly appeared in his face, and Sasuke's heart nearly stopped in shock. He had been so engrossed in his thoughts that he had entirely forgotten that he had been sitting in the training grounds, waiting for his chronically late teacher to show up.
"Get out of my face, idiot," Sasuke scowled, having yet to really make up his mind about Uzumaki.
"Kakashi-sensei's late again," Naruto sighed, politely making small talk as if he hadn't just been rudely rebuked. And that was another thing that Sasuke didn't understand about Naruto. How he seemed to simply not get ordinary interaction. Any other person would have just taken the hint.
Sasuke only grunted in response, slinking moodily away from his teammate.
He was rather uncomfortable being around people to begin with, and he had no idea what to make of his blonde teammate other than to be faintly wary of him. It was easier just to not bother.
But his movement, of course put him closer to Sakura. She flashed him a blank and entirely indifferent look. She didn't blink at all, green eyes piercing him with the same intensity that he remembered from his old clanmates. Reminded him a bit of that Uchiha unpleasantry.
Sasuke looked away first. Then he sighed.
He wasn't a complicated guy. He didn't have complicated goals, really. All he wanted in life was to get strong enough to kill his older brother. Then, after that, he would do something something something, and he'd die a peaceful death as a recluse, having already restored the Uchiha clan.
Really, not much.
And as they stood in the clearing together, waiting for Kakashi to show up so they could hurry up and do their first mission together, Sasuke leaned against a tree and blew out a short breath. The morning sky was a pale blue and the full moon shone anemically in the sky compared to the aggression of the sun.
His teammates were a strange bunch: Sakura was murderous, and Naruto was some sort of airheaded idiot savant.
There was something to learn from both of them, though. Things that could help him in his quest to avenge his clan. He could take from Naruto's absent-minded conviction, the kind that let him use shadow clones to their full effect. He could learn from Sakura and her machine-like efficiently.
They wouldn't hold him back, at least.
. . .
Sarutobi Hiruzen was a man known across the Elemental Nations as the Third Hokage, the Professor, the man who taught the Sannin. He was someone with unparalleled mastery over all of the ninja arts, with an enormous library of techniques that he could call upon. Even among the monsters of the world, he was a monster.
And he was incredibly tired of his job.
After a week of menial labour, completing D-Rank missions like painting fences, doing construction work, and chasing cats, Team 7 stood in the Hokage's office to report that, yes, the groceries had been delivered successfully, and did they want to do another mission? Hell no, Hokage-sama.
No respect with the children these days.
"Why can't we get a real mission, Gramps?" Naruto loudly complained, "The missions you've given us so far suck. I hate doing chores. I hate cleaning up litter. Why can't we just blow something up?"
"Naruto," the Hokage took a puff of his pipe and put on his best grandfatherly expression, "You're just a genin. You'll need the experience-"
"Experience can go suck it!" Naruto crossed his arms and pouted, "I just want to see shit explode! The hell do I need the experience of getting groceries for?"
Sasuke raised an eyebrow at Naruto's rudeness with a man who was essentially the military dictator of a small nation, but said nothing.
"With all due respect, Hokage-sama…" Kakashi began.
Hiruzen closed his eyes. Whenever Kakashi started with those words, he knew he was in for a headache.
"Team 7 is ready for a C-Rank mission at this point," Kakashi said.
"Damn right we are!" Naruto, again.
"I think they're ready to get their kunai wet, so to speak," Kakashi continued, as if he hadn't been interrupted, "Team 7's combat effectiveness is leagues above the average genin team. And really, Sakura probably could solo missions at this point, girl's scary, reminds me of myself back when I was a kid and all..." Kakashi talked on and on.
Hiruzen sighed and began digging through his desk for a suitable C-Rank mission. He only kept half an ear on Kakashi's rambling bullshit. He'd already decided to hand over the mission. Anything to get Team 7 out of his hair.
"... really, if that stupid woman just kept her cat in check, then generations of little ninja children wouldn't have to deal with that hellraiser. I understand that about twenty percent of Konoha's gross income comes from Madame Shijimi paying us copious sums of money to find her cat, but really, sometimes it feels like…" Kakashi rambled on.
Hiruzen had already fished a mission scroll out of his desk but had entirely lost Kakashi at this point. He began to question the wisdom of putting this man in charge of a genin squad.
"... and did you read the new Icha Icha book yet? Jiraiya-sama's really outdone himself on this one. So Fumiko goes to the hot springs with her new boyfriend, only to find that her old boyfriend is already there, and has no qualms about sharing. So…"
A puff out of his pipe was enough to stave off the incoming headache. Hiruzen rubbed at his temples.
"... which is why, really, our team shouldn't have to put up with any more of this D-Rank mission bullshit, and you should just send us on our merry way." Kakashi finished his winding and disorganised rant.
"Kakashi," Hiruzen said, his eyes boring into Kakashi's lone exposed one.
"Yes, Hokage-sama?"
"Team 7 is going to accompany Tazuna, a bridge builder, to the Land of Waves," Hiruzen leaned back in his chair, "So take the damn scroll and get out of my office."
"Yes, Hokage-sama," Kakashi gave him a cheeky grin.
"Yes!" Naruto pumped his fist, "Bye, Gramps! See you in a week or two!"