The day was hot and sunny. Almost everyday was hot and sunny on the island, but even so, it was perfect weather for swimming in the crystal clear water that was surrounded by a protective sea wall. The waves were never very large due to the high rock formations, but gentle swells still managed to break on the white sand, causing Klaus's little sister to run in energetic serpentine patterns in order to avoid having the waves touch her feet. It was one of her favorite games to play. Violet ran ahead of her now, playing a similar game, jumping the waves instead of running from them, making Sunny laugh, her little bell peal giggles wafting back to Klaus on the wind.
Klaus walked slowly behind. He carried the blanket and the water and the baby. He didn't mind. He enjoyed seeing his sisters play. It's not like Sunny'd had much playtime as an infant and she was more than welcome to make up for it now. Klaus had a hunch that Sunny and Beatrice were going to be inseparable when the baby was old enough to walk and play. He'd many times overheard Sunny speaking softly to Beatrice in her cradle, making plans for the future, plans that involved pirates, sword fights, forts and boats. Sunny had a wonderful imagination, probably from all of the books that Violet and Klaus had read to her since they began their stay on the island.
His sisters had just plunged into the light surf, Violet staying close to Sunny, who was not a very strong swimmer yet. Klaus laid the blanket out, plopping down unceremoniously with the baby, making sure her sunbonnet protected her well enough from the sun. He laid out his long body, facing the water to watch his sisters play while shielding Beatrice from the sun, casting a Klaus shaped shadow over the baby.
Beatrice amazed Klaus with how fast she grew. They could barely keep her in clothes. Violet was always making her new ones. Sunny, too, for that matter. It just seemed like yesterday that Beatrice had slept most of the day, waking only to eat, and staying awake all night, but now she was smiling and cooing. She could roll over, too, and not just once, but over and over. The days of setting her down somewhere and coming back later to find her still there were gone. They couldn't take their eyes off of her for a second.
So it was that Beatrice was consuming Klaus's full attention with her drooling and her cooing and her rolling. He was shaking her tiny fists free of the sand she'd managed to grab before she could eat too much of it, when he noticed Sunny's distressed call.
"Violet!" She shouted. It wasn't the first time she'd shouted Violet's name since they had arrived on the beach, probably more like the ninety-sixth time, but the way she said it this time put Klaus on alert.
"Violet?" Sunny's voice rose at the end, more of a question. "Where did you go? You can come up now!" Sunny stood waist deep in the water facing out towards the ocean. Klaus's eyes swept the horizon but Violet was nowhere in sight.
"Sunny?" he called. The little girl turned to face him, trudging out of the water. "Where's Violet?" He rose quickly from the blanket and met Sunny at the edge of the surf.
"We were racing. She went under and she won't come back up. I don't know where she is." Sunny began to cry.
"Hey," Klaus said urgently. "Where did you see her go under?" He knelt down and held her by the shoulders. "Quickly!" He had to refrain from shaking her a little. Sunny silently turned back toward the water and pointed. "Watch the baby, Sunny!" he instructed and in a second he plunged into the water in the direction his sister had pointed him.
Klaus had many bad dreams. There were dreams where it was too dark to see, but he could feel the fur and feathers of creatures brush past him. There were dreams where fire surrounded him on all sides and he could hear his parents calling to him, screaming for him. There was this one recurring dream where he showed up to his math class at Prufrock Prep totally naked and Carmelita Spats made fun of his body, shouting out his genital size in decimeters. But the dream he was usually most grateful to wake up from were the ones where he needed to move quickly, to get away or to save someone, but felt like his feet were stuck in cement and his voice muted and his eyes blind. That's how he felt now. Running through the water was too slow, swimming was even slower. The sand and water pulled at his legs and feet, making him feel like he weighed an extra hundred pounds. He called out Violet's name in vain.
All of the sudden the sandy bottom under his feet gave way to deeper water and he went under. He flailed for a second, his arms and legs fighting the water, tangling in seaweed, until good sense kicked in and he remembered how to get his head back up into the air. Treading water now, he looked around trying again to get his bearings and noticed with a lurch of sick in his belly that he wasn't tangled in seaweed, but hair. Violet's hair. It was floating beside him. Here she was, submerged just under the water, but even grabbing around her armpits, he couldn't get her head above the water.
He dove down, dragging his hands along her body to try to find the source of the problem, why she was stuck. His eyesight wasn't very good, even on a good day, so seeing underwater was much, much worse. Violet must have fallen off the drop off just as he had, but her foot had become wedged between some rocks or coral, Klaus wasn't sure. He pulled at her leg, kicked at the rocks, but nothing came loose. God, how long had she been down here now? His own lungs desperately needed a breath. He positioned himself in front of her, grabbing her knee from between his, and leveraged himself as hard as he could by placing his feet on the rocks to pull her foot free. At this point he didn't care if he broke her foot, she simply could not stay down here a second longer.
As soon as her foot wrenched from the bottom of the ocean, he pushed off the sea floor, pulling his sister up with him, gasping for air, knowing he couldn't stop a single second to catch his breath. Klaus had to get Violet back to shore. The trudge back seemed interminable, his lungs on fire by the time he pulled her partway out of the water and rolled her flat on her back. She was so blue that he didn't bother to check if she was breathing before he positioned her head back in the sand and sealed his mouth over hers and blew into her lungs twice. He saw her chest rise and fall with his air, then he proceeded to do chest compressions, counting them like he had learned from the book he'd read on CPR. Two more breaths and then another round of chest compressions. He sensed Sunny standing behind him and hollered at her. "Sunny! Watch the baby!" He heard her footsteps running away from him as he leaned down for two more breaths. Violet had been under a long time. She was going to die.
No, Klaus thought with sick realization, she was already dead.
He made a fist and hit her hard in the chest. It was called the precordial thump and sometimes shocked the heart back into beating. He'd seen it in a movie where the character had done it to save his friend's life and it had worked for him. Her face was so pale; her lips so blue. He hit her again.
Violet vomited up seawater, gasping for breath. She tried to sit up, but Klaus pulled her over onto her side instead, thumping her back firmly with his palm to help her get her lungs clear. When her coughing had subsided some he bent over her body in exhaustion, resting his forehead in the sand. Over the rush of blood pounding in his ears he could hear Sunny calling for him. "Klaus! Beatrice is eating the sand!"
Klaus sat back on his heels to look in Violet's face. It had barely more color than before and she was shivering now, probably from shock. He felt a little shivery himself. "Hey," he said gently. "Are you hurt?" He ran his hand over her shoulder, down her side, taking inventory of injuries.
"My foot, Klaus." Her voice was raspy from saltwater. "My chest." Okay, he knew about those injuries, because he was the one that caused them. Her foot was black and blue around the ankle, swollen. She'd probably be getting bruises on her chest, too. He could explain later.
"Okay," he said, trying to come up with a plan to get everybody home. He was so tired he could lay down and sleep for an eternity. "I'll take the baby home and come back for you. I don't think you should put any weight on that foot. I'll only be ten minutes." He stood abruptly, calling for Sunny. "Sunny, stay here with Violet while I take Beatrice home. I'll be right back. Do not get in the water," he told her sternly. "Do you understand?" Sunny nodded, her eyes wide, unused to Klaus being so serious with her.
Klaus scooped up the baby, who had rolled onto her belly at the edge of the blanket, cheerfully bobbing her head and eating who knows how much sand. Between Violet swallowing so much ocean and Beatrice swallowing so much sand, they were probably carrying the whole beach in their bellies. He forced his fingers into her mouth, clearing the grit away as he hurried back to lay her safely in her crib where she couldn't get into any more trouble and would hopefully fall asleep. Then he ran all the way back to the beach and fell onto his knees at Violet's side.
"You still okay?" he asked. Her lips were almost back to their normal color, but her face was pale. She nodded. "Do you think you can stand?"
"I don't know. My body feels so heavy," she answered.
"I'll help you." He rolled her onto her back, and reminding her not to use her foot, he hoisted her up by pulling on her arms. "Do you think you can manage a piggy back ride?" She nodded and he leaned down so she could climb onto his back. He took inventory of Sunny, but she was right there with them so he headed for home.
All of them were sandy and saltwater was drying on their skin and hair, making everything feel sticky. Klaus deposited Violet on the front step and told Sunny to be quiet in case the baby was sleeping. He pulled jugfuls of fresh water out of their rain barrel and rinsed most of the sand from Violet, urging her to lay her head back so he could pour water over her sand-crusted hair. Next he helped Sunny to undress and cleaned her, telling her to go change her clothes. Last he poured water straight over his own head, taking off his wet shirt and pants. "Violet, just leave your clothes out here. They're filthy." He helped her take her shirt off, leaving her shivering in her bra and underwear.
"I'm so cold," she said, teeth chattering.
"Okay, we're going in." He stood her up again and she was able to hobble with his help to the couch. He helped her lay down there, covering her with all the blankets he could find. He went into their bedroom to find some clean clothes, all the while worrying if Violet would get pneumonia, or if her foot would become infected. He rummaged through an old first aid kit that had been left behind at some point and was relieved to see bandages.
When Klaus brought Violet her nightgown, Sunny was perched on the couch with her sister's head in her lap. "I'm so sorry, Violet," Sunny was whispering. "It's my fault. If I hadn't said to race, then you wouldn't have fallen into the water." But Violet had already fallen asleep.
"Hey," Klaus soothed. "It isn't your fault. Not at all. It was just an accident. There was a drop off right there and Violet got her foot stuck under the water. She's going to be okay." Klaus mentally crossed his fingers and hoped to God that was true. He rubbed the hair out of Violet's face, waking her.
"I'm going to look at your foot before you go to sleep." Violet nodded consent and Klaus carefully picked through the blankets to find her bruised ankle. He was no medical professional, but felt carefully for broken bones. He didn't think there were any. Also, no broken skin, which was a relief. "I think it's just a sprain," he announced. "I'm going to wrap it and then you'll need to keep it elevated for a few days." Violet nodded and only flinched once when he lifted her foot onto his lap.
Violet slept most of the afternoon. Klaus must have checked that she was still breathing at least every other minute, but she awoke feeling almost back to herself. She sat up, putting on the clothes that Klaus had piled next to her hours ago. Her cheeks were very pink from the warmth of the afternoon and from laying under all of the blankets. Her voice remained hoarse and she coughed intermittently, but was able to drink some water and eat a little food. And even though she had slept for a long time, she was more than ready for sleep again at bedtime. Klaus tucked Sunny into her bed, kissing her cheek, then settled onto the couch next to Violet to feed the baby before laying her down for the night.
Violet leaned her head on Klaus's shoulder and held her fingers out for Beatrice to clutch. The only sounds in the still room were the baby's soft sucking and swallowing sounds. Everything seemed calm compared to the fluster of the afternoon, yet Klaus couldn't settle. He felt wound up tight, adrenaline still pumping in his veins. The baby was asleep before the bottle was even empty, her little mouth going slack, the nipple falling out of it. Klaus laid her in the cradle and turned on the rocking device. He once more pulled Violet up from the couch, but then scooped her up to carry her like a baby to the bedroom. She laughed, putting her arms around his neck. He laid her carefully on the bed and climbed in behind her, pulling the covers up to their shoulders.
Klaus had once read a book on marsupials. They were amazing creatures who raised their young in a pouch on their bodies. Now, Klaus wished greatly that he was a marsupial. He would keep Violet and Sunny and Beatrice in his marsupium pouch, keep them safe and warm and fed. He could protect them; himself he could always be sure of. He wrapped his arms tightly around Violet's middle, pulling her back to his chest, wishing mightily that he could pull her whole body inside his. He buried his face between her shoulder blades, and now, in the dark and quiet of his bedroom, with only Violet to witness his weakness, he sobbed.
Violet stayed still in his arms, only putting her arms over his, brushing her fingers over his clenched fists. "Oh, Klaus. It's okay," she soothed. "I'm okay."
He shook his head. "You were dead and I didn't think I could bear it." His voice choked with emotion. "I might as well have drowned along with you." And it was too much to bear. He knew he should feel grateful that she was still here in his bed, alive and breathing, but his heart was aflame with despair, with fear that another person he loved, the person he could easily admit to himself that he loved most in the world, might be taken from him at any moment.
Violet reached behind her and pinched Klaus hard in the ribs, causing him to flinch a little in surprise. "Never say that again," she said harshly. She must have felt bad for the small hurt she had inflicted, because she brought his palm up to her mouth and kissed it. "I'm sorry," she apologized. Violet rolled over in his arms and he tried to hide his face, scrubbing at his eyes with his palm. He didn't want her to see him like this. She pulled his hand down but he only turned his face up and away. "You saved me. Thank you." She reached her hands up to cradle his cheeks, making him look at her. He couldn't take her scrutiny. Not now, when his world was falling apart. Getting up and leaving were out of the question. He didn't think he would ever let Violet out of his reach again. So he did the only thing he could think of. He kissed her. It was the first time he had ever initiated a kiss in his life. It was a simple press of his lips to hers, just to make her close her eyes, just to make him feel something besides this dreadful sorrow, but the appreciative hum that emanated from Violet's throat made him think it could be something more.
Her hands on his face slid into his hair, tangling there, and her mouth parted over his, taking in his lower lip and brushing her tongue softly over it. And God, he wanted more of that. He lifted his head off the pillow to slant his mouth over hers, reaching now to find her tongue with his, loving how she tasted, foreign and familiar. The small kiss he'd shared with Violet so many weeks ago, well, he'd come to categorize as innocent, or maybe an accident, even. When it was only him and Violet, alone against the world, where else was there to find comfort except from each other?
But this? Now that he was kissing Violet, really kissing her, he realized he'd wasted too much time not kissing her. It was far from the innocence he had imagined their first kiss to be as his hand traveled from her shoulder to her waist to her hip, turning her on her back, letting his body press her into the mattress.
She didn't mind. Violet urged him to put his weight on her by wrapping her good leg around his, still holding him by his hair, pulling his face to hers, his lips to hers. He kissed along her jawline and she turned her face for him, giving him clear access to the warm skin of her neck. She smelled like saltwater and wind. She was breathing rapidly and he could feel the way her heart raced when his lips brushed across the pulse point in her neck. Violet breathed his name, urging him to continue, but where would this lead? Where would this stop?
If he gave into what his body wanted, these heated kisses could lead to only one place. Already, surprisingly, his hips were nestled between her legs, his lips on their way to the sweet dip in her throat between her collarbones and then lower. She would let him do whatever he wanted, maybe she even wanted the same things, but tonight, with his emotions running so high already, and Violet not feeling well, surely it wasn't the best time to pursue a forbidden affair with his sister. It was a hard decision and desire warred with sense for a long minute before he rested his forehead on her chin, his breaths fanning over her chest. Damn his practicality. "Maybe…we should get some sleep," he said, rolling off of her and onto his back with a sigh, pulling her so that her head rested on his shoulder.
She groaned in obvious disappointment. "You're overthinking," she accused, but not meanly. He only kissed the top of her head and she let her hand wander under his shirt to rub the soft hairs of his belly. "You always overthink things." He placed his hand over hers, stilling it, because her touch felt like an invitation he was having a hard time refusing, but then traced his own fingers over her forearm. "What is that thing Nikos Kazantzakis said?" Violet asked quietly.
"Hmm," Klaus thought for a second, then answered. "That God has a very big heart, but there is one sin He will not forgive?"
"No, the part after that," she instructed and Klaus laughed gently.
"If a woman calls a man to her bed and he will not go."
The pair remained silent after that and soon the exhausted Violet was asleep, breathing evenly and audibly. They had shared a bed for as long as their parents had been gone, but he had never held his sister as she slept before. Her words made him think that she had no qualms about it. In fact she'd seemed very disappointed in the way their little tryst had ended. He cursed himself again for his carefulness when, in her sleep, she murmured his name into his neck, sending a little shiver of pleasure down his spine.
He spared a moment to wonder how much awkwardness and regret they would feel in the morning before his own exhaustion overtook him. The last thing he thought before he fell asleep was how warm he was, feeling that same bit of fire, that silly happiness and hope that had been festering in his heart since they'd arrived on the island, glow just a little bit brighter, as if someone had blown her breath over the dimming embers. It didn't chase away his fears completely, but this tentative new love he was feeling for Violet certainly eclipsed them a little.