Merlin woke up just before the sun was risen, he changed into his normal attire and patted his messy hair down until it was tamed enough for his liking. He walked over to his bed and grabbed the notes from under the pillow. He walked out into the living area where Gaius was still fast asleep, Merlin smiled and placed the letter in his hand before walking to the Princes chambers.

It was still dark out so there was no one around, just the guards which Merlin managed to avoid. He shook his head when he saw the two guards outside Arthur's chambers were asleep at either side of the doorway. He snuck past them and once he was inside he placed the letter on the table and left again, he couldn't bear to see Arthur again or he might change his mind.

He walked past the gates of Camelot and headed to the forest without looking back. Once he reached lake Avalon he kneeled down near the water's edge and took in the scenery. The sun was rising which reflected on the water, leaving yellow ripples as the wind moved the water.

He brought his dagger out of his pocket and ran his finger over the sharp blade, he could see himself in the metal. All he could see was the face of someone who does not deserve the courtesy of a life.

Merlin took a deep breath and closed his eyes as he dragged his dagger deep into his arm. Once it was over he opened his eyes and looked at his wrist, he felt all the weight he's ever carried in his life just lift off his shoulders as the blood ran down his arm and onto the grass. He dropped the dagger next to him and laid himself down as his vision became blurry and spotted, eventually darkness took over and he was free.

Arthur's POV:

"I was woken up by the sudden flash of sunlight spilling into the room. I groaned and rolled over, only to be faced by someone who was defiantly not my servant. I shot up and looked him in the eye, he looked nervous like it was his first day, or maybe it was simply because I was the prince. "morning sire" he said with a smile, "where's merlin?" I asked. "no one knows sire, Gaius said he was not in his chambers when he awoke and I was sent as his replacement for the day" he explained, I furrowed my eyebrows and looked at him confused. Merlin NEVER missed a day, not even if he was sick or poisoned.

I stood up and put a shirt on before following the servant to the table. He had placed my food on the table just like merlin does, Merlin always did it neater though. I sat myself down and began to eat when I noticed an envelope on the end of the table. I furrowed my eyebrows again and picked up the letter, it was addressed to me which was kind of concerning. "where did this come from?" I asked the boy, he shrugged his shoulders "it was here when I arrived sire". I nodded at him and told him to take my lunch back to the kitchen so I could read the note in peace.

I opened the envelope and was surprised to see a fairly large letter. As soon as I started reading, I knew who's handwriting it was. I had watched merlin enough to know what his handwriting, posture, walk looks like. The letter looked to be some sort of explanation letter so I got comfortable and began to read.

Arthur,

I thought I should begin by explaining my behaviour these past couple of months. To do so however, I have to reveal a secret that I've had for the past 5 years of working for you.

There's no easy way to say this but I'm a warlock, I was born with Magic. I've been moving things around since I was two years old, that is why my mother sent me here. She trusted in Gaius to teach me to control my magic and use it for greater purposes than clean my room or do my chores. He taught me how to heal people with magic, how to save people, and to come to terms with my magic.\

Magic is the blood in my veins, without it I am nothing. I have been using magic to save your and the knights lives for years without being suspected of anything but it is getting to be of a burden that I cannot keep any longer, it eats me up inside every day that I've lied to you for this long.

Once my mother died, I began to get unmotivated. I started having nightmares about the past, about her death, about my life in general. Gaius helped the best he could, but it was not enough to stop the nightmares so I began to confide in the dragon. The dragon I told you I killed a year ago, the truth is I let him free. It was a deal I made with him when I first came, when he told me my destiny… you, you're my destiny. My purpose in this earth is to protect and serve you until the day I die, and I will die proudly.

I will no longer be able to serve you however, since my duty has now come to an end. I told you I will die a loyal servant and that's just what I am doing, I am passing with the knowledge I have saved you and your men countless times, even if I did not get any thanks for my deeds, I was happy to do so.

I love you, Arthur, I love you with my entire heart. I will watch over you, I will continue to keep you save until we are reunited once again.

Merlin

I just sat there, mouth wide open as I read the letter over and over. Merlin is a warlock? How could he not tell me? How could he lie all this time ?. I stood up and marched my way to the Physician chambers, hoping merlin had returned by now so he could explain what this letter was.

I knocked on the wooden door and listened for any movement. "come in" I heard Gaius say softly, I opened the door and was met with a very stressed out physician. "sire, have you seen merlin?" he asked me, he looked desperate and sad. "no, I need to talk to him actually" I said handing him the letter, he read it carefully and squeezed his eyes shut as he finished. "sire do you know what this is?" he asked me, waving the letter in my face "this is a suicide letter, arthur, Merlin's going to end his life if we don't find him soon" he said. I swear I felt my heart literally shatter in my chest, my knees became week and my head was spinning like crazy.

"do you have any idea where he could be?" I asked as I paced nervously up and down. "I might have an idea, but I cannot be certain he will be there" he says, I stop pacing and walk over to him. "where?" I ask. Practically shaking the answer out of him. "I believe he is at lake Avalon" he explains, "why there? Why not simply the forest?" I ask extremely confused; lake Avalon was not even on Camelot borders. "lake Avalon is where Freya is buried" he explains. "the druid girl?" I asked, remembering the time the two of us saved a druid girl and she somehow escaped. "The two fell in love, Merlin was planning to run away with her. That was until…" he trailed off, I squinted my eyes shut as I remembered what happened to her, I had killed her.

I'm going to find him, I'lll bring him back safe" I tell him before rushing off. I quickly saddled up my mare and set off to the lake in hopes of finding my idiot servant before it's too late.

As I got closer and closer my heart started to beat faster than it has ever before, I felt my palms start to sweat as I began to see the pine trees that surrounded the lake. As I came over the hill I searched desperately for any sign of him but there was nothing, not from this far away. I galloped closer and closer until I could finally see a figure lying on the grass. I stopped my horse and dismounted before running over.

I skidded to a stop and dropped to my knees next to him. "Merlin!" I screamed as I shook him as hard as I could. I put my fingers up to his neck and searched desperately for a pulse, I sighed a breath of relief when I felt the faint thump against my fingers. , I looked down at his arm and winced when I saw the bloodied dagger next to it. I ripped his ridiculous neckerchief off and tied it as tight around the area as I could before desperately trying to wake him up again. "what have you done?" I sobbed as I held him in my arms.

I picked him up bridal style and sat him on my horse before climbing on myself and going as fast as my mare could go. "merlin, you're going to be okay" I whispered, more trying to convince myself. "It's going to be alright, just hold on" I begged. Once Camelot came into view I wiped my tear stained cheeks with my sleeve and came to a trot as I came into the village. I ignored all the stares, all the murmurs of the villagers and the knights who had come rushing over and carried a limp and lifeless Merlin back to Gauis.

I rushed in to the chambers and was met with a very worried Gaius who seemed to turn sheet white when he saw Merlin in my arms. "put him over here" he said as he cleared off the patient bed. I gently set him down and moved out of the way so Gaius could examine him. He slowly unwrapped the neckerchief and spread a green paste on the wound before wrapping it tightly with some clean bandages. "what now?" I asked as I rushed back to his side, "now we wait, there's not much else I can do I'm afraid" he explained, he looked like he was on the verge of tears the poor guy, Merlin had easily become like a son to the older man.

I would suggest putting him in his bed, it will be much more comfortable when he awakes" he said gesturing to his bed. I nodded and picked him up gently before placing him back down on his bed and pulling the covers off him.

Gauis checked over him once more before leaving the two of us alone. I pulled the chair from his desk to the bedside and sat quietly as I watched his stomach rise up and down with every breath he takes. I noticed his breathing was rigid and staggering but he was still breathing nonetheless.

I hesitantly brought my hand up to his cheek and ran my finger over those bony cheek bones. I brought my hand down and rested it on his chest, I let the feeling of his heart beating against my hand try and distract me from the situation at hand and focus on his features.

I had always considered Merlin to be good looking, truth be told i was in love with the guy. Sure I had noticed his blue eyes and prominent cheek bones. I had even got lost in those eyes once or twice, but I never actually took the time to properly look at him. Now that I am, he looks perfect.

I felt a yawn coming along and I looked out the window. I was shocked to see it getting dark outside, I did not think I was here for too long but apparently, I was by his side all day. I stood up to head to my chambers but something was telling me to stay. I hesitated before climbing into the bed with Merlin and pulling myself under the covers before I rested my head on his shoulder and let the feeling of his breathing put me to sleep.