Chapter 2 – In Which Hearts Are Exploded
Lupin was always in the room early. He sat in his usual spot and went over the last meeting's notes.
Motion to set extra surveillance on the Golds' house.
His eyes flickered to Tonks' seat, opposite and one to the right. It sat there disappointingly, solid boring wood. He looked back at the notes.
Motion to set extra surveillance on the Golds' house.
He sat up and readjusted his top button. Kreacher walked in, rubbed a spot on the wall pathetically, and walked out. If Tonks were here, she'd crack a joke about now. I think he actually put more grease on that, somehow. Lupin smiled.
Sirius walked in.
'Blimey, are you smiling at the Order notes? I reckon I just lost all confidence in your coolness.'
Remus chucked a ball of parchment at him and looked back down.
Motion to set extra surveillance on the Golds' house.
He wondered what haircut Tonks would be sporting today. A couple of weeks ago, she had walked in with a lime green mohawk. He smiled again.
'Seriously, mate, what's going on with you?' asked Sirius curiously. 'I don't think I've ever seen you this jubilant at any notes before.'
'Nothing. Just – ah – wondering what Molly will cook tonight,' said Remus. 'Hopefully not a repeat of that experimental stew two weeks ago.'
'Oh, I didn't mind that. It wasn't as bad as that boiled rat that Mad-Eye tried to make me eat.'
'They were meatballs,' said Lupin, raising an eyebrow.
'Boiled meatballs.'
Remus shook his head and returned to his notes.
Motion to set extra surveillance on the Golds' house.
It was no use. He stood up and carefully packed away the notes.
Tonks finally decided on a shoulder-length blue. By the time she had gotten changed into a vaguely wrinkled dress, she was running late. Shit.
She Apparated to the doorstep of Grimmauld Place and forced open the heavy door. As was characteristic, she managed to knock over a bucket of umbrellas in the process. She swore while stuffing them back in. It had been sunny for two weeks, what the hell were they doing here?
Tonks straightened up and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Calm, collected. Charming. Here we go.
She walked into the narrow dining room, already abuzz with noises. A small chorus of her name erupted as she walked in. Mad-Eye clapped her on the back.
'Good timing. We were just about to start,' he said gruffly, motioning to the table.
She sat down, deliberately keeping her eyes off Remus. She could feel his presence and see him talking to Arthur, but she refused to look at him and disappoint herself. Instead, she took up an overly enthusiastic conversation with Bill.
After the meeting was over, they all stayed for dinner. Tonks, who had been desperately trying to avoid looking at Remus, allowed herself a peek. Her stomach twisted as she caught a glimpse of his face. As usual, his eyes were kind and caring, his mouth in a smile. She watched as he explained something to Molly next to him, his hands gesticulating. He looked interested in Molly's response, listening to her intently.
Tonks took this opportunity to study his face, the soft lines and intelligent eyes. She wondered how it was possible that somebody could look both asymmetrical and handsome at the same time. Suddenly, his eyes darted across the table and looked straight into hers. They both looked taken by surprise, a sheepish smile appearing across Remus' face. Tonks stuck her tongue out at him and grinned. He smiled wider.
She held his gaze for a couple seconds, before looking down and busying herself with her soup to quiet the fluttering sensation in her heart. This was getting ridiculous. She was a grown woman, for Gods sake. Was she really about to get flirty with a colleague? Bill started up a conversation with her again, and she leapt at the chance of distraction.
Interesting as the subject matter of centaurs was, she couldn't help herself, and soon her eyes drifted across to Remus again. He was still in conversation with Molly. Was she imagining, or was that a slight blush across his cheeks?
She must be imagining it.
After dinner, most of the members left. Arthur and Bill were in the kitchen cleaning up, Molly was bustling around the upper levels with a feather duster, and Sirius was following her to be sure she wouldn't Vanish any family heirlooms.
Unfortunately, Remus had also retired to the library. Tonks was sitting alone at the dining table, looking into the fire, on the pretence of finishing some paperwork for the Ministry. She didn't want to leave the relative warmth of Grimmauld Place, to go to her empty flat where there was nobody waiting for her. When she imagined living alone, she hadn't expected it to be so lonely. Particularly recently, she was missing the company of someone.
She yawned as she scratched a date onto one of the lines. It was getting harder for her to keep her eyes open these days. With the full workload of the Ministry and the regular Order meetings, it was becoming harder and harder to sleep. Perhaps she would go and curl up on the comfortable couches in the adjoining room. Just to rest her eyes a little.
There was nobody in the living room. It was cold and dark, missing the fire and energy of people. She perched on the edge of the couch, then immediately stood up. If she was going to sit somewhere, she may as well talk to someone. This was her justification, and she kept it in her head as she walked to the library.
'Knock knock…' she said, tapping lightly on the library door. Her heart leapt in her chest as she saw Remus sitting at the armchair by the fireplace.
He looked up and smiled. 'Evening.'
'Evening,' she returned, walking over and plonking down on the sofa. A comfortable silence enveloped them, filled only by the crackling of the fire and the shifting of fabric.
'How did you find the meeting?' Lupin said pleasantly, setting aside his book. Tonks tried to quiet the joy she felt.
'Not too bad. I thought Mad-Eye was quite optimistic this evening. Only mentioned us possibly dying twice,' she said.
Remus laughed. 'Has to be a record for him.'
'I thought that Harry was coming soon. Mad-Eye didn't mention him,' said Tonks.
'We're trying to get him. The problem is his… ah… family,' Remus said delicately. 'Quite hard to distract them and steal him, you see.'
'Steal?'
Remus smiled again. 'Rescue.'
Tonks nodded her head in satisfaction. 'I love rescues.' A thought occurred to her. 'Can I come?'
'I don't see why not.'
She clapped her hands in excitement. 'Are you coming?'
'I'm afraid not. I'm needed here for some discussion.'
'Aww.' Tonks expressed her disappointment, perhaps too loudly – for Remus glanced at her, surprised. A pink hue overtook her cheeks. 'Should be some fun.'
'Yes, I suppose so. Sirius is very excited.'
Their conversation continued in this easy way for some time, until Tonks' yawning began to overtake her speech. The fire and the soft couch began to send her off into a sleepy trance, and she could no longer respond to Remus. She settled in this comfortable state of half-awake, kept up by the soft orange glow.
After a time, Tonks sensed some movement. The fire had all but burnt out, but the dusty library light gave some visibility. Remus had stood up from his chair and was facing the fire with his hands in his pockets. The air smelled of wood smoke and a hint of her perfume.
Remus turned. She could feel his gaze on her, no doubt wondering whether she was asleep and whether to wake her. Tonks was just about to stretch and put him out of the awkward situation when she saw him move and mutter something. She felt the warm weight of a blanket being pulled over her. She had to fight to keep a smile off her face.
Remus knelt down next to the couch, and she closed her eyes completely, not daring to open them. She could feel him move closer and gently place a kiss on her forehead.
Her heart near about exploded.
He stayed kneeling down for another few seconds, before straightening up and leaving the room. Tonks waited until she could hear his footsteps recede upstairs before moving.
She fell asleep smiling as widely as she could.