Chapter Two: A Good-ish Day
- Isabella Marie Swan, 17 years old
"Someone told me long ago, there's a calm before the storm…" Creedence Clearwater Revival
Sunday, September 2nd
I felt raw when I finally woke up the next morning. I must've been drained from the long flight, emotional stress, and crying, because my eyes were puffy, and my entire body ached with a dull pain. In frustration I groaned into my pillow, then spent about ten minutes dozing before finally crawling out of bed. I shuffled like a zombie more than walked to the door of the jack and jill bathroom I shared with Leah. I'd never shared a bathroom before, and I almost didn't knock before yanking it open.
"Gimme a minute, almost done!" Leah shouted over the sound of a shower. I sighed and didn't have any real resources to deal with the wait, so I just collapsed back onto my bed and closed my eyes.
"You didn't have to fall back asleep." Leah startled me awake, and I cracked my eyes to find her standing a few feet away fully dressed and glaring at me. "I was done like twenty minutes ago."
"It's Sunday right, I'm not going to even attempt to leave the house today." My voice sounded worse than I felt, but I liked how it emphasized my mood.
"Fine, I was about invite you to go shopping with me and mom, but if you're going to just laze around all day, whatever." She was sort of frowning, but I could see in her expression that she wasn't really all that serious. I sat up and looked at her fully, forcing my eyes open and wincing at the morning sunshine coming in from the window I'd left uncovered when I went to bed.
"Normally that would sound tempting, but I don't know. Shopping feels like the last thing I want to do. I think I just need a day to adjust to everything, thanks for the offer." Leah just smirked a little, nodded once with a small motion of her head and turned to leave through the bathroom.
"Mom made breakfast, if you hurry there might be some eggs left." She said as she closed the door behind her.
"Coffee!" I groaned out loud.
"Nope, all gone." She said with a laugh through the closed door, and then there was silence.
I pouted for a few seconds before I dragged myself up and into the bathroom, showered quickly, and then threw on the comfiest clothes I owned. All loose fitting, black and hardly fashionable, but more than enough for me to go out on a coffee hunt. When I finally made my way downstairs, I found the house empty and a little creepy. Thankfully there was a small note on the dining room table sitting next to a set of keys.
'Charlie filled up your car. Angela called this morning but none of us wanted to wake you up. We missed you at breakfast, but I hope we'll see you tonight! Dinner will be around six.
Sue'
I stared at the note for longer than I needed too, more than made sense really, while absently fiddling with the locket hanging around my neck. Despite enjoying dinner, the night before, it felt weird somehow to make it a routine. I just couldn't quite put my finger on why it was bugging me. I crumpled the note up and threw it in the kitchen trash can, then grabbed the keys and headed out to the garage. Getting into the car immediately gave me a lift, and a small shiver of excitement went up my spine as I wrapped my hands around the cool rosewood steering wheel.
Then I spent five minutes trying to get her started, forgetting almost everything Leah had described the day before. After giving up, I pulled the instructions up from the text Leah sent me after we talked, suddenly grateful for the extra thoughtfulness on her part. The instructions worked the first time, making me feel stupid, but not five minutes later I was already in the heart of Forks with no signs of coffee except for a diner and a gas station. That was until I turned onto literally the last street in town and found a strange little Native American themed cafe which kind of made my head hurt a little at the kitshiness of it.
Disengaging the engine sounded a little like a lion yawning before settling down to sleep, and I felt a little rush from the sound of it. Even turning the thing off sounded cool. I shook my head at the stupidity of investing emotions in the sound of a car engine, but I immediately realized that I had to let in every little thing that lifted my mood. It was one of the ways I would heal, or at least fake being normal.
The place looked clean, the interior decor oddly tasteful despite the mildly off-putting corporate interpretation of tribal design and theming. The young woman behind the counter had black hair and a bit of a tan, but she was not even remotely Quileute which wasn't surprising since most of the local tribe lived down near the coast. She didn't smile as I entered, but I didn't care because she was the keeper of the caffeine, she could've been wearing a penguin as a hat and I wouldn't have really absorbed it.
"Triple-Grande-dark-chocolate-mocha with a shot of raspberry." I said practically in one breath.
"This isn't Starbucks." She frowned at me and sighed. "We don't have dark chocolate and I'm out of raspberry syrup."
"I don't care, as long as it has chocolate three shots of espresso and some kind of berry flavor, I'll take anything." I said with more than a little anger and desperation in my voice.
"Holy shit… Izzy!" I spun around and found Olivia Thorne sitting alone tucked into a booth behind a small half wall that hid her from the front door. She was still as pretty as I remembered, with her flawless pale skin, high cheekbones, wide hazel eyes the shape of perfect almonds and thick auburn hair that she managed to tame into a mane of curls and style. She was one of the five, our once close-knit group of friends that I had left behind. Or at least we used to be friends. Five, nearly six years, is a long time for people our age.
"Just a sec…" I put up a finger and turned back to the barista, she frowned but nodded and started making my coffee. I smirked at her, then turned back to Olivia who was grinning from ear to ear. "I'm back."
"I heard from Angela; I can't believe you're really here!" She moved forward and pulled me into a surprisingly tight hug. Surprising that there was no awkwardness, just genuine friendship. I hadn't expected to be able to just pick back up where we were before I left.
"Well, yeah. I guess you didn't hear." I felt myself get quiet; I hadn't realized I would have to give this news to other people. Which was stupid, because of course I'd have to talk about my mother's death.
"Angela said it wasn't her news to tell, and that you would talk about it when you were ready. I'm pretty good at math, so I can put two and two together... something happened to your mom?" She looked almost as upset as I was feeling, and I nodded once. She pulled me into another hug, even tighter than the last one, and I felt myself letting go a little. It felt good to have someone be there for me.
We let go after a moment, then I took a deep breath to prepare. "She died in a car crash a few weeks ago."
"Oh god, I'm so sorry. I… I know you two were really close. Is there anything…?" She was starting to actively cry and started to lose the ability to form words. I found myself wanting to comfort her. It was almost funny in a strange kind of way.
"I'm okay, I think. I'm trying not to, I don't know, dwell on it I guess." I forced a small smile, trying to make myself happier to see my old friend than I was feeling. Which almost hurt worse than the pain of dredging up my mom yet again. I wanted to feel happy about seeing Olivia. I wanted to feel a lot of things.
"Izzy coffee up." The barista barked out then almost dropped my cup onto the counter and looked at me for payment. I started to reach down to my pocket for the cash I had stuffed in earlier, when Olivia almost pushed past me and pulled out a credit card.
"On me, it's the least I can do." She gave me a big smile over her shoulder and handed me my coffee. I didn't do more than nod at her before bringing it to my lips and taking a scalding hot gulp and reveling in the pain as it burned my tongue and warmed up my chest.
I didn't bother stifling the soft moan that escaped me as I closed my eyes and let the small rush of caffeine finally wake me out of the shitty night of sleep, I'd had the night before. I then turned and made my way over to Olivia's table and sat down. She followed a moment later and immediately took a sip of what looked like a latte, which was in a turquoise colored mug with the logo of the cafe embossed on the side.
"Angela will be here in a few minutes; we're going to Port Angeles to finally get a few new outfits for the year. I can't believe I've gone an entire week without wearing anything new as a senior. Can you believe we're seniors?" Her tone had shifted quickly back to the person I remembered, bubbly and never serious. I chuckled a little at the coincidence of passing up one shopping trip only to be pulled into another one. Olivia's brow furrowed at my strange response though.
"Oh, something Leah asked me. It's not important." I raised my eyebrows and gave her a forced smile. "Seniors. Well at least it'll be interesting, and final. Hmmm, remember that time… never mind." I started, then thought better of it. I didn't want to bring up the last time we'd hung out as friends.
"Your promise that you would be here for graduation. Yeah, I remember. Guess you kept that promise." She gave me a half-hearted smile then her eyes widened a little and she waved at someone behind me.
I heard the door open and turned to follow Olivia's gaze, and there was Angela. She had grown into someone I barely recognized. She was a lot taller than me, and her features had filled out well. She hadn't worn glasses the last time I saw her, but they somehow framed her face in just the right way. While she wasn't beautiful in the traditional sense of the word, she had a presence which was simultaneously kind and serene, but also wise and careful, and seeing her again filled me with more emotion than I was expecting. Once she saw me her perpetual smile widened, and her chest expanded as she took a deep breath and held it. She took quick, and clearly measured steps over to our table. I stood immediately and it was my turn to bring someone into a hug.
"I missed you." I whispered into her ear, and she just nodded into my shoulder.
"I missed you." She whispered as she pulled back and kept me at arm's length. "You let your hair go long, I thought you liked the shorter look." I shrugged; my hair length was more a statement of my distaste for haircuts than any real fashion choice. She wasn't wrong though, I usually had my hair cut around shoulder length, it was getting close to the small of my back.
"Maybe I'll get it cut today, I've been kind of busy the last couple of weeks. Plus, Joy liked long hair." I said with a shrug.
"It's a plan, there is this nice salon just down the street from Kellys. I've been meaning to refresh my curls, and Angela has been toying with the idea of going blonde." Olivia said with an infectious smile. Angela's expression immediately shifted to one of fear, as she started to shake her head.
"No, I mean… no. I don't want to dye my hair. You have been talking about it for a few months. The last thing I want to do is look like Lauren Mallory." Angela said a little defensively, with a bit more pettiness to her tone than I expected to hear from her.
"Angel, you would look nothing like her." Olivia said looking confidently into Angela's eyes. Then she sighed and shook her head. "We won't dye your hair. That would take too long anyway. Wait, who's Joy?"
"My ex she turned out to be the bitch everyone told me she was. It's the reason I'm here today, I was breaking up with her instead of going to Doug's stupid housewarming party." I said far more casually than I expected. The acknowledgement of my guilt rolling off my tongue like it was the easiest thing in the world to admit. Two weeks of guilt exposed without a real thought to why I needed to say it out loud.
"Oh, Jocelyn. I didn't connect the nickname. Angela mentioned you were dating her, didn't know it ended." Olivia said with a small nod, as if connecting dots that weren't terribly hard to connect. Angela gave me a small sympathetic smile, and I could tell the admission wasn't lost on her at least.
"I still can't believe that Lauren is that bad." I said after taking another long sip of my coffee.
"She's worse than Angela will admit. It's like she grew up and into a shitty personality. Jess, like the mindless idiot that she is, followed her like a sheep. They hooked up with a couple of transfer students, Summer Holloway and Vivian Singh, and are probably the most popular clique in school. Personally, I think our group is the coolest. Plus, we have more people." Olivia exclaimed with a clear sense of pride.
"Ben, Tyler, Leah and those three sisters that transferred to Forks last year, right?" I filled in, trying to remember the news Angela detailed in our monthly conversations.
"Yeah, the Cains are the prettiest girls in school. But outside of our group they aren't very social." Olivia added with a thoughtful nod.
"Rose, Alice and Lily." Angela filled in my lapse of memory, and I flashed her a quick grin.
"That's nine if you count me." I said trying to be supportive. I knew a little of the drama that happened a few years back when Lauren broke off from the group. Jessica followed a week later, leaving Angela and Olivia short three close friends, if I included myself.
"Of course, we count you, honestly I never stopped counting you." Olivia said with a big toothy smile.
"Thanks, I never stopped thinking of the two of you as friends either." They both glanced at each other and then Olivia pulled us into a group hug. While I appreciated the sentiment, I was starting to feel hugged out.
"Okay, enough sap. We need to get going if we're going to have enough time to shop before dark." Olivia said as we pulled apart.
"I can drive!" I said holding up my keys and then chugging my coffee.
We all went out to my car and they both seemed to appreciate the ride, although I wasn't sure if it was genuine or forced. I knew for a fact Olivia couldn't tell one car from another, but from our conversations I knew Angela spent enough time with Leah to know about the car's history. The ride was soothing, even along the tree lined roads I found joy in the simple act of driving. A little over an hour later we were pulling into Kellys, a small boutique clothing store with mannequins in the stop window wearing clothes that were nowhere near my usual style.
"You guys shop, I have enough clothes for now." I said feeling a need to be alone. Olivia pouted, but then shrugged and pulled Angela almost reluctantly into the store. I turned and looked around for a place to browse and found an actual record store about three doors down. I made my way over and found besides the skinny bearded guy behind the counter, there was only one other customer. Of course, it had to be the prettiest woman I've ever seen in real life.
We glanced at each other at first, and then both of our gazes returned and locked on one another. I wasn't aware of her face, but her eyes seemingly bewitched me. We stared for several seconds before she broke eye contact and quickly rushed out of the store, her long black hair almost caught in the door as she let it slam behind her. The clerk started to say something but shrugged and turned to me.
"Can I help you find something?" He sounded helpful despite his grungy appearance.
"Just looking." I replied dismissively, looking at a stack of alternative records, marveling at a trippy looking album cover from a band named Tool.
"Alrighty, if you need help or advice let me know." He said with a small shrug.
"Thanks." I muttered in response and he went back to whatever he was doing. I poked around aimlessly for a few minutes before finally realizing I had no real need or desire for more music, so I left without purchasing anything.
Once outside I frowned, "Now what?" I asked out loud and closed my eyes to try and push down an image of my mother that drifted through my thoughts. She always loved trips like this, wandering and browsing, she could spend hours drifting from store to store. I'd always hated it, yet here I was doing the same thing.
"Bella!" Olivia said loudly from half a block away. I put on a slightly forced smile and looked over and was greeted by an unexpected crowd walking towards me. Olivia and Angela, I knew, the three other women I had never set eyes upon before. All of them so beautiful that I was starting to wonder if a mystical curse had been cast while I was away, bestowing beauty on the townsfolk. As they closed the distance Olivia turned sideways between me and the newcomers.
"Bella, this is Lily and Rose and their mother Doctor Megan Cain." She said with enthusiasm.
"Nice to me you… all." I grimaced a little at being awkward, but Megan shook her head with a welcoming smile.
"We didn't mean to intrude on your day, but Lily bumped into Olivia and Angela as they entered the clothing store, and we decided to all head for lunch." Megan said with a mildly exhausted tone of voice. I gave her a knowing smile and shrugged.
"The more the merrier?" I suggested hesitantly.
"There would've been one more, but Alice is being anti-social as usual." Olivia said as a tease, but there was a strong note of frustration in her voice.
"Alice keeps her own company most days." Rosalie said in agreement, "It is nice to finally meet you Bella." She said holding out a hand in greeting. I shook it, and tried not to react to her icy skin, even though it sent a jolt up my arm.
"I've always had cold hands, sorry about that." She easily dismissed my reaction before I could even say anything, which struck me as a little odd. But I shook it off, I would have plenty of time to get to know Rosalie and Lilly since they were a part of my new social group.
"Shall we?" Megan motioned towards the restaurant, which was a much snazzier place than we had originally planned on going. I looked over at Angela who followed behind the group a little, so I lagged back with her and bumped my shoulder against hers.
"I've heard good things about this place. Mom has mentioned it a few times." She said softly, clearly trying to be enthusiastic, but as I glanced over at her, I could see she was a bit upset and I couldn't quite understand why. Then it dawned on me, her parents were going through a financial hardship because her mother lost her job after having the twins.
"I still owe you that lunch, this one is on me." I said wrapping my hand around her waist. She looked over and mouthed, "thank you." But didn't say anything out loud.
"Don't be silly, lunch is on me." Megan said over her shoulder without looking back, and the question of money was over before it really began.
"Thank you, Doctor Cain." Olivia started, and Angela and I followed suit.
Without another word we got a table and soon our orders were taken. During the wait we sat in slightly awkward silence until Megan looked over at me. I instantly felt uncomfortable, because I knew I was going to be forced to answer questions I wasn't really prepared to answer, again.
"Bella, I understand you lived in Arizona before coming here." It was the kind of small chitchat that I could handle, if it didn't delve to far into my reasons for coming back to Forks.
"Yes, Phoenix." I answered simply, not wanting to elaborate.
"I haven't been that far south in many years. Are the skies still so blue they hurt your eyes?" It wasn't the question I was expecting, and it immediately made me miss home. No, not home. Mom. A tear escaped my left eye, and I stood and excused myself.
"Sorry, I just need…" I didn't finish before rushing to the bathroom. I splashed cold water on my face and looked in the mirror, the circles under my eyes were worse than I thought, and I could see the grief in my eyes just as clearly as I could yesterday when Charlie picked me up.
"Get a grip on yourself Bella, it's just lunch." I said admonishing my own emotional fragility. I knew it was way to soon to be normal, but I was still frustrated that I couldn't fully control my own emotional reaction to a simple fucking question.
"Bella?" Angela said from the door.
"I'm fine, I'll be out in a sec." I said taking a few breaths to calm down. Then turned and found Angela still waiting for me. "Don't worry, I'm fine." I said trying to ease her obvious concern.
"They are freaking out a bit, and Megan is really worried." Angela said quietly.
"Yeah." I sighed and forced a smile again as we got back to the table. "Sorry about that, I guess I didn't realize how much I missed Arizona."
"Of course, I won't bring it up again." Megan said looking concerned.
"What did I miss?" I asked the table.
"Lily was just remarking that the chef here trained under Gordon Ramsey." Olivia said sounding almost conspiratorial.
"Not exactly. I said that he worked at one of Ramsey's restaurants in Seattle." Lily corrected, looking mildly irritated.
"That's even better." Olivia said clearly oblivious to Lily's frustration.
"I've never been good at small talk." I said with a small smile, "Olivia can talk circles around me. Or at least she used to, is she still our resident conversationalist?" I asked the table in general. Their reactions almost made me laugh. Angela nodded as diplomatically as possible, and Lily stopped herself from sighing out loud. Rosalie flared her nostrils and then smiled widely at Olivia who was only looking at me as she responded.
"Well, that wouldn't be problem Izzy if you bothered to say more than three words at a time." Olivia teased, and I just let myself laugh in response.
"I spent a very long semester in public speaking, so I can string together a sentence now." I offered, which seemed to make Olivia extremely happy.
"I can't wait for classes tomorrow; your timing is kind of… sorry." Olivia stopped herself as she realized what she was saying. I shook my head as though she hadn't almost put her foot in her mouth.
"I for one am glad we're seniors, school seems to have lasted forever." Rosalie added.
"Speaking of school going on forever, does anyone have their applications started for next year?" Angela said somewhat enthusiastically, although I could see the same worry as before crossing her expression.
"I don't even know if I'm going to college." I said with a small shrug.
"It would be a good idea to think of your future Bella, you never know what life will bring you. Especially if you seize whatever opportunities you can." Megan said trying to encourage me. It sounded a lot like what my mom had said when I brought up the subject to her a few weeks back.
"Syracuse." Olivia said decidedly.
"Liv, you got to apply to more than one school." Angela scolded her.
"I don't have to do anything. I'm going to get in." She said petulantly.
"Okay." Angela put up her hands, it was clearly an old argument I wasn't aware of.
"Bella, I understand Sue is opening up her own practice in town?" Megan asked out of nowhere changing the subject yet again. I opened my mouth to answer, when our food arrived. We all ate in relative silence, the conversation dying quickly. I didn't understand why it was so uncomfortable, but there was something about the Cain family that was hard to describe, something that almost made my skin crawl. Yet they seemed normal and friendly.
We split up after lunch and we watched as the Cain's walked away.
"It's going to be an interesting year." I offered.
"Damn right!" Olivia practically shouted, missing my sarcasm entirely.
"We should probably get going, I have a long list of things I need to do before I start school on Monday." I said.
"But we haven't shopped at all or gone to get our hair done." Olivia pouted.
"Next week?" I said with a tired smiled, and they both nodded. The walk to the car was a relatively short one, and before I knew it, we were halfway home.
"I wish they had a brother." Olivia said out of nowhere breaking the silence we had fallen into.
"I thought you were dating Tyler." I said glancing over my shoulder, Olivia was in the back seat looking out the window.
"Dating would require we go on dates. Tyler just wants to have sex." Olivia said so bluntly that I almost lost control of the car.
"Um, that's not good." I felt myself cringe and looked over at Angela who was shaking her head.
"It's okay. I just don't know if he actually likes me anymore. We've been dating for five months, and this summer has been a lot of fun. I just, I don't know." It was the deepest conversation I had ever had with Olivia, and it was a relief to know she was still more than just clothes and gossip.
"If you aren't happy you should break up with him. That's kind of what happened with Joy. We just drifted apart. We're teenagers, that's kind of the way it works. Forever love at our age is just… weird." I said with a smirk.
"Weird, but wouldn't it be wonderful." Angela said looking forlorn. I held my tongue; we had spoken many times about her shyness and inability to speak to boys.
"True love." Olivia said. "I don't know if it's real or just some lie."
"A fanciful construction made up by greeting card companies to sell at Valentines." I spouted off, making both them frown a little.
"That's a little jaded." Angela said looking disappointed.
"If true love exists, I don't think we've ever seen it. Love is messy and hard, full of compromises and lies. I had to listen to my mother's stories about falling in love eleven times, she didn't get it right until Phil. They just fit, but I still don't know if that was close to what true love would look like." I let out a bit more than I should've, my anger at the utter unfairness of my mother's death surfacing again.
"I know you're hurting right now, but that's no reason to be so cynical." Angela said looking a little hurt.
"Sorry, you're right. I'm being a bitch." I tried to smile it away, but she rolled her eyes.
"It's okay. You just need time." She gave me a weak smile and turned back to look out the window. I had clearly killed the conversation, so I turned on the radio after another long stretch of silence and the next forty-five minutes passed slowly.
I dropped them both off at the cafe, and we still hugged goodbye. It made me happy that one sour conversation didn't stop us from being friends. When I got home and opened the front door, I could immediately feel the tension in the house. Dad and Sue were sitting at the kitchen table across from Seth who had a black eye. A family friend of ours, Jacob Black, was sitting next to him his right check starting to turn purple.
"I'm waiting for an answer." Charlie said, impatiently. Then looked back at me and shook his head almost imperceptibly. I nodded slightly and made a b-line for my room. Twenty minutes later, after a long chat session with Callie someone knocked on my door.
"Bienvenu, welcome, c'mon in." I said with a small chuckle.
"Um, Bella… have you lost your mind a little?" Leah said from my doorway.
"It's from a movie my mom loved." I said turning back towards her.
"Oh, sorry. Dinner's ready. You going to join us?" She looked hopeful, and I felt my resistance slipping. Repressing a sigh, I nodded.
"I'll be right down." Leah nodded back at me once and then turned on her heel and took off downstairs. I closed my chat with Callie and reluctantly followed Leah downstairs a few seconds later.
The table was set for six and I was mildly surprised to see Jacob had stayed for dinner. He gave me a goofy smile, and I remembered he always had a big crush on me. I hadn't seen him in six years and yet he was still giving me that look. I gave him a halfhearted smile back. Seth didn't look nearly as happy, he was staring at his food and didn't bother looking up as I sat down.
"Welcome back Bella, dad sends his regards." Jacob said before anyone else could say anything.
"Thanks." I forced another weak smile and nodded. "How is Billy doing these days?"
"Same as always." Jacob said shrugging slightly.
"Charlie, I can't just sit here." Seth said angrily.
"Eat." Sue said sharply. Seth looked up at her with a hard angry glare and picked up a forkful of food and ate it mechanically, before spitting it back on his plate.
"Not hungry. Later Jacob." He said before standing and running upstairs to his room.
"Seth!" Sue yelled after him. "Excuse me." She stood up and took off after him.
"I should probably go. Thanks for inviting me to say for dinner Mr. Swan." Jacob said as he stood up himself.
"Thanks Jacob, I'll give you a ride home, and explain everything to Billy." Dad gave him a surprisingly warm smile and Jacob nodded appreciatively before they both left. Leah sat looking at her plate for almost a full minute before turning to me.
"Seth has been having trouble with a couple of guys at school who have been harassing him since he transferred up from La Push. Jacob had come up to hang out with Seth, and they ran into them in town. I think the guys made some snide racist comments to goad Seth and Jacob into a fight. Whatever it was, Seth lost it and attacked. Jacob tried to get between them, and a few punches were thrown before the local police broke it up. Charlie was brought in, and here we are." Leah looked frustrated as she related the story and picked at her food before pushing the plate aside.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to drag you into this." She said after short pause, looking up to gauge my reaction. I shrugged.
"I've had some knock down drag out fights with both of my parents. I mean my choice to move in with Mom was… difficult." I said sympathetically.
"I'm going to go to my room. Night." Leah got up and left me alone with a table full of half eaten food. I looked at the sorry sight and couldn't help but laugh a little. I helped myself to a plate and ate it alone. Then I cleared the table and washed the dishes, halfway through Sue came into the kitchen.
"Thank you so much, I was dreading cleaning up." Sue said coming up next to me to start drying off the dishes that I had finished and rinsed and set on a dish rack next to the sink.
"We missed you today. I expected to come back and find you asleep in your room. Where did you go?" Sue asked in a protective motherly way.
"I ran into Olivia and Angela when I went out for coffee and we ended up going to Port Angeles to shop. It was not planned at all, otherwise I would've just called to invite them to go with you and Leah. Actually, we are probably going next weekend since we ended up not doing any shopping after all." I hoped the explanation would be enough, and thankfully she seemed to accept it.
"I have work next weekend, but please invite Leah. She's keeping up a strong appearance, but I know she's struggling." Sue shook her head and I could tell she wanted to say something.
"You can talk to me if you something bothering you." I offered. She flashed me with a grateful smile.
"As much as I would love to unload, it would be unfair to burden you with my troubles." She reached up and squeezed my shoulder. "Thank you though, I really appreciate it."
"Sure, I mean I'm here. I'm going anywhere." I said finishing up the last of the dishes. "Get some rest okay, you have a thousand things you need to think about, including my little sister or brother."
"Sister, we found out a few days ago." Sue said touching her belly without conscious thought. "We're going to name her Mara, after your Aunt that disappeared." My eyes widened slightly at that; I hadn't thought about the family horror story in years.
"I… Congratulations." I was about to say I had no idea how to react to that naming choice but thought better of it.
"Thank you. Night Bella." She gave me a kiss on the cheek and headed over to the master suite off the short hallway from the living room.
Without much let to do I went back to my room and started searching for colleges, oddly inspired by the conversation earlier in the day. Twenty minutes later, I heard noise from across the hall, and after a short shouting match between Seth and my father a door was slammed. I heard someone head downstairs and I sat at my computer for all of a minute before venturing out to investigate.
I found dad on the patio outside, smoking. He was on his cell and looked upset. I caught his last several words as he hung up, "Yes Agent Merchant, I'll get that to you tomorrow."
"Fuck me." He said quietly to himself as I opened the screen door to join him. He looked down at the cigarette and dropped it in a nearby bucket full of sand.
"Started a few months ago when the thing in Seattle started." He shook his head, I glanced at his phone. "Just precautions. They think this guy is headed west for some reason. Forks is just on the line of possible targets."
"A decade dad, you quit for a decade." I chided, a little disappointed in him.
"I guess there's more to it." He half chuckled and closed his eyes warily. "The house, the baby, Seth, Leah… Renee. I feel like I'm drowning Bella. I'm so glad you're here." He held out an arm, and I let him pull me into a hug, this one felt right after all the hugs I'd had all day. We stayed like that for a long time.
"I'm going to bed." He gave me a tired smile and kissed me on the forehead.
"We'll get through this dad, it's just a rough patch." I said as confidently as I could, even though it was basically a platitude.
"I hope so." He turned and headed into the house. I sat on one of the patio chairs and wrapped my jacket around me. The crisp September air felt thick with the lingering moisture in the air, and I could tell from the overcast sky that we'd have another rainfall before the night was over.
As I sat there, I ran though what my new life was going to be like, and it felt overwhelming. I had Joy and a couple of friends in Phoenix, but mom and Phil were out a lot, so I had a lot of time alone. Now I had two new siblings, two ever present parents a new baby on the way and a very large circle of friends that would demand my attention. I was so lost in thought that I didn't immediately recognize the patio door opening, so I didn't turn until whoever was trying to sneak out was a foot out the door.
"Jesus Bella." Seth said clearly startled. Then winced and looked back into the dark house.
"Stealthy." I smirked at him.
"What? Like you care what I do." He sneered at me, with a touch of viciousness. I stood up and got in his face.
"Shut up and get over yourself. I don't care what little persecution complex you have going on that's causing this stupid teenage rebellion, but your family needs you. Your mom especially. I know it hurts seeing them together, and it makes you angry that your dad is gone." I said staring him down, daring him to pick a fight with me. He looked livid, as if he were about to explode at me.
"Well guess what, I'm angry that my mom is gone too. But I'm not going to take it out on our parents, they are trying their hardest to support us, and from what I've seen you're treating them like shit." I punctuated what I was saying by poking him in the chest with one finger. He stood his ground and shook his head at me, narrowing his eyes.
"Who the fuck do you think you are? We're not family." Seth practically spit in my face, closing the distance between us to try and intimidate me. It didn't work. I'd spent the last decade of my life in some form of martial arts and I knew I could take down the little punk in a heartbeat. So, I didn't back down, I didn't flinch. I pushed in even closer and lowered my voice making it sound as menacing as I could.
"I am your sister, but I'm not your friend. I'm not going to coddle you, and hope that bending over backwards causes you to give me some minor reciprocation. I won't let you hurt this family. If you try this shit with any of them, I'll make sure you walk funny for a week." I kept my voice even, and my monotone did seem to get to him a little.
He stared at me for a long moment, sizing me up before finally smirking. "Try it, I bet you've never thrown a punch in your life." The smirk turned into a mocking smile, and he tensed trying to get ready for anything.
I thought about it, I wasn't exactly sure what the right move was. I could back off, but that felt counterproductive. I could hurt him and teach him a lesson, but that might just be excessive. So, my only recourse was to put him into a position of submission and reiterate my threat, it seemed like the best option.
I took a step back, placing myself directly between him and the backyard where he was trying to escape, and made a motion for him to attack. He seemed surprised, and a bit shocked at the taunt. He looked at me like I'd lost my mind for a moment, before he rolled his eyes. He clearly decided the conversation was over, so he strode forward. He made to push me out of the way dismissively. I sidestepped him and grabbed his right arm and twisted it to gain leverage. He let out a cry of surprise when I continued moving him around me, locking his arm up behind his back and applying just the right pressure to cause a sharp stab of pain that knocked him to his knees.
"I'll say it again. I don't want to hurt you, but I will if you keep this up. I have literally no patience left, and you are pushing in a way that makes it personal. My father may have fucked up trying to connect with you, maybe he made it about the wrong things. Maybe you're just giving him a hard time. I'll talk to him again and get him to apologize. He knows what he's done wrong, and he will make good on it, but not right now. Dad can't be worried about you throwing a teenage drama queen tantrum because he made a few mistakes. You can't be awful to Leah, because she is dealing with genuine relationship issues. Let's not forget the pressure you are putting on your mother, who is trying to open her own business while having a fucking baby." I allowed my own anger from the day burn through my words.
"Jesus Christ Seth. Give them a chance, let Sue in, let Charlie in, let Leah in, because as much as you don't want to admit it, you need them as much as they need you. So, man the fuck up!" I let go of him with a slight push forward, and he fell onto his left hand. He sat back on his knees and rubbed at his right arm, staring at the composite boards used for the deck surface.
I expected him to spin around in anger or to get in my face. What I didn't expect was Seth to remain there crouched for several long seconds. I was about to check on him, worried that in my zeal I may have hurt him. Instead, he started to speak.
"I miss him. I don't want to be like this, but I miss him so much. I hate him too; I can't stop feeling like he left us. Like he ran away from us. I know that's not true, that his heart just gave out, but I can't get over it. I can't stop feeling angry all the time. I don't want to be a problem for them, but your dad doesn't make it easy on me. He treats me like a delinquent, even when I've done nothing wrong. So that just makes me angrier… I don't know how to change." He was speaking so quietly that I had trouble making out his words, then he turned up to face me, tears welling up in his eyes. "I don't want to be the reason they're miserable. I want to stop hating them, but I feel like I have no one. Dad always understood, but he's gone now… and it… it's like I have no one who gets it. Will you help me?"
I looked down at him, so vulnerable, so open. This was more like the Seth I remembered. I wished that it was someone else in the family he was turning to, but I couldn't change the fact that he was turning to me. So, I nodded once.
"Of course. You get angry, you can talk to me. Or hell, you can try to punch me, I could teach you how to do it properly even." Motioning towards his eye. "Just don't take it out on them. I promise I'll talk to Dad, get him to back off. I know that it's probably been unfair to you, he is a cop first sometimes." I gave him a faint smile and offered a hand to help him up. It was more than just a gesture; it was a symbol for change. I was literally offering a hand, and thankfully he took it.
He stared at me, his hand in mine, for several seconds before he pulled away and turned back towards the house. I half expected the entire family to be there watching, but no one was. He turned once, and managed a small smile, before he ran upstairs. It was a good sign that he didn't slam his door behind him. I sat down on the deck again and stared into the forest beyond the back fence for a long time. I imagined the Seattle killer lurking in the shadows under the trees. Watching me.
Several times I thought I could even make out his eyes, moving from tree to tree in a dance so macabre that it made me shiver. Or maybe it was the chill that had penetrated through my coat that was making me shiver. I hugged my knees to my chest, and sniffed a few times, holding back emotions which were chaotic and begging to be released, but I refused to cry anymore. I'd cried enough for a lifetime in the last few weeks, and I was done.
Author's Note: It's been two years since I posted chapter one. It doesn't take me that long to write, I just didn't know how to write this. When I originally posted this story there was one chapter of build up before the inciting incident happened. That meant that all the backstory and emotion had to be established in that first chapter. I knew I had to write this, but it couldn't just be filler. This chapter had to have significance. Suffice it to say it takes a while to write these, even though it won't be two years next time. I will keep my profile updated with the release date for chapter 3.
Thank you to anyone reading this story, more to come soon!