"Hey Shigaraki, I was wondering if you were coming by today. I just made some ramen if you want a bowl. I never seem to get the measurements right and always end up with extra." Midoriya held his door open as his friend walked in and took a seat on the floor next to the table.
"That happens a lot with you and dinners, Midoriya. Won't turn it down though, you make pretty good food." Walking back to the kitchen, Midoriya blushed at Shigaraki's compliment. He didn't want to admit that he always made enough for two in hopes that his new friend would be joining him. "Yeah, it's just… You know, sometimes I can't concentrate," Midoriya said with a nervous laugh.
Shigaraki took it upon himself to turn on Midoriya's tv, flipping through until he found one of the movie channels. "This is a good one, superhero flick where the villain makes the hero think twice about what he's really fighting for. I like stuff like this, psychological thrillers that really make you want to see the world from a new perspective." Midoriya set their bowls down on the table and passed Shigaraki a pillow before sitting down on his own.
"I've seen this a few times. I like it too, for much of the same reasons. They like to run it a lot late at night, so it usually ends up as background noise to me." Slurping his noodles, Shigaraki nodded as he watched the screen.
"The part where the hero ends up questioning his mentor gets me every time. Looking up to and idolizing this one special person for so long, only to find out they weren't as great as they seemed. It makes you wonder if you ever truly know someone." Shigaraki glanced over to Midoriya, who had stopped eating and turned his head away, his attention on the thumbtacks embedded in his walls.
"What's up with that anyway, Midoriya. You realize how embarrassing your posters were the first time you brought me here and rip them down in a panic? I don't kink shame, you know."
"It wasn't anything like that," Midoriya replied, his voice low and restrained. He turned back to Shigaraki, his eyes glassy and pained. Before Shigaraki could apologize, he continued. "My mentor, the one that I mentioned before, his name was Toshinori. I worked as his assistant on a research project with my university. He was full of knowledge, it was an honor to work at his side. Our project was everything to me. I spent all of my free time working on it, bringing a lot of my work home with me. Those torn spots were charts and diagrams of data related to our work."
Midoriya had to pause, his voice cracked as he found it hard to speak with his throat feeling as though it was closing up. Shigaraki leaned over, placed his hand against his shoulder and rubbed his thumb about in a circle against Midoriya's shirt. "Hey, no need to bring up that kind of stuff if you don't want to remember it. Forget I said anything."
Wiping at his eyes, Midoriya forced a grin. "No, it actually feels good to say it out loud. I've spent so long avoiding it, letting it build up, but talking about it is its own form of relief, believe it or not. Anyway, like I was saying, our work was going well. But suddenly, Toshinori left the university and couldn't give a reason why. The project was nearly finished, but without him, it was just too much responsibility that I just wasn't prepared to take on. I tried, I really did. I stared at those papers for hours at a time, but I just couldn't… So I tore them down and threw them all away. Ever since that point, I haven't been able to sleep. I closed the project and asked for a leave of absence from the university."
"You did all that you could. That guy shouldn't have left you to finish such an important project on your own. If he couldn't stick with it until the end, he shouldn't have even started it. Pretty selfish move if you ask me."
Silently crying until Shigaraki's response, Midoriya jerked up his head, "It wasn't selfish at all! He must have had his reasons for leaving. You didn't know him like I did, Shigaraki. I'm sure that if he had the choice, he would have stayed and completed it with me. Whatever it was that took him away, he did it believing that I could handle the rest of the project!"
"Yeah, and left you with more work than you can handle. I may not know this Toshinori guy, but I know you, Midoriya. You'll take on the weight of the world if it means helping others. You don't have to do that. You shouldn't have to suffer at the expense of someone else's negligence. Look what it did to you, it's affecting your fucking health now."
Standing up, Midoriya kept his head down as he pointedly replied, "I'm done talking about this, Shigaraki. You should go. Now."
"Leave? You wanted to get this off your chest, but when I tell you what I think you want to get upset? You know, you're right. I should go. Goodbye, Midoriya." Quickly getting up from the table, Shigaraki stalked over to the door, slipping his red sneakers back on before throwing the door open, not even bothering to close it behind him.
Following Shigaraki out the door, Midoriya stood at the top of the stairs. He wanted to call out to Shigaraki. Wanted to tell him to come back, that he hadn't meant to be so emotional. The words that collected in his mind never made it to his mouth. He had nearly given up and turned to go back to his apartment when he heard the thump in the stairwell.
"Shigaraki!" Midoriya yelled as he watched the man collapse against the railing and double over himself several times as he fell down the stairs. His narcolepsy catching him at the worst time, Shigaraki didn't wake up until he had rolled away from the bottom step.
"Are you okay? Don't move, I'll be right there!" Midoriya said as he started to descend the steps. Getting back to his feet stiffly, Shigaraki just shook his head.
"Don't bother, Midoriya. Just don't worry about me anymore," said Shigaraki as he walked out of the building before Midoriya could even make it down the flights of stairs.
Limping along the crowded sidewalk, Shigaraki circled his right wrist around, shocks of pain shooting up his forearm as he turned it a certain way. His left knee wasn't in any better condition, throbbing and already starting to swell with each step he took. But he couldn't stick around at Midoriyas. He had to get as far away as he could.
What did I say that was so wrong? That guy obviously made Midoriya's life harder, so why did he get mad when I called him on it? Can't he see how much damage that guy has done?
Shigaraki wanted to get home. He needed to get back to a place he could feel comfortable enough to unload what had just happened. Everything had been so good between them since their chance meeting weeks ago. It felt good to share the company of another person again. But those old demons started to snake back in, filling Shigaraki's head with doubt and stealing away the confidence he had only just started to rebuild.
Knowing why Midoriya wasn't sleeping and learning how much he had been burdened with, how could he possibly stick around, knowing that his narcolepsy would only serve to make his life harder. The fall down the stairs had injured his body, but the thought of distancing himself from Midoriya hurt his heart.
Easing his way down the steps to the subway, his knee started to give out on him, forcing him to clutch the rail the rest of the way down. Briefly watching the arrival screen, he found his way to the appropriate platform. More of his body started to ache as he stood near the edge of the platform. Doing what he could to withstand the pain, Shigaraki felt unsteady on his feet.
I just want to make it home. Just let me manage that and I'll deal with the rest later.
The steady rumble of the oncoming subway train shook beneath his feet, lulling him into another narcoleptic episode.
He hadn't even felt himself fall forward, nor did he feel the arms that caught him just before he could fall onto the tracks in front of the train.
Waking up, he felt the tight grip of arms wrapped around his chest, accompanied by heart-wrenching sobs. His initial panic gave way to relief as he easily recognized the source of the cries. Midoriya held him close, his forehead resting against the back of Shigaraki's neck as he cried.
"Hey, no need for that, Midoriya, I'm okay," Shigaraki said as he moved his uninjured left hand up to clasp Midoriya's arm.
"Shigaraki! I'm so glad you're okay! I tried to catch up to you, and when I saw you just now and how close you were to… I'm just so relieved that I got here in time. I'm sorry for everything, I really am. I just… I almost lost you just now, and it scared the hell out of me." He squeezed his arms around Shigaraki tighter, pulling him closer than before. As comforting as he wished it was, his previous fall down the stairs made it really hard to find anything but aches and pains from this position.
"Calm down, I know, Midoriya. But… You're gonna have to ease up on the grip, I didn't exactly fall down a stack of pillows earlier," Shigaraki groaned as Midoriya realized and let go.
"I didn't realize… Sorry! Let's get you to the doctor, that looked like a really bad fall."
"Please, I just want to go home." Shigaraki looked away from Midoriya, still fighting with his own thoughts on whether he should even still let this sweet, caring man near him.
"Then tell me where home is, and I'll help you get there," Midoriya answered, his eyes narrowed with determination. Shigaraki could tell it would be useless to argue with him now. With a sigh, he told Midoriya his address. Helping Shigaraki to his feet, Midoriya held him up while they waited for the next train to pull in. Following his directions, they made it back to Shigaraki's apartment, considerably smaller than Midoriya's, though he had a considerably nice video game setup.
"Here, get comfortable on the couch, I'll get something cold for your wrist then see what I can find to cook for you," Midoriya said as he eased Shigaraki onto his couch. He noticed Shigaraki's small DVD collection had very few movies, which made sense considering he could easily fall asleep at any point. He collected tv shows, the shorter episodes must have made it easier for him to keep up without having to rewatch anything he'd miss.
Opening the fridge, Midoriya found very little that could be used to make any kind of decent meal. Convenience store snacks, sandwiches, and milk was all he found. His cabinets only held a few cups of instant ramen and cold cereal. Midoriya quickly put it together, how Shigaraki's narcolepsy made any kind of complicated cooking risky. Starting anything on the stove that would take time could result in him falling asleep and causing a kitchen fire.
Which is why he always enjoyed Midoriya's cooking so much, he realized with a smack to his forehead.
He pulled open the freezer door and retrieved a small ice pack. Midoriya wrapped a small towel around the cold compress and brought it over to Shigaraki, sitting down next to him as he gently pressed it against the discolored skin at his wrist.
"Agh, that's cold," Shigaraki said, sucking air through his teeth as the cold shocked his skin at first, then eased into numbing the pain. "You don't have to go through all this trouble, Midoriya. I know you have a lot on your mind as it is."
"You were right. What Toshinori did was unfair. I understand that. It's just… I had believed in him so much. Just like that hero in the movie. It's hard to realize that the person you idolize and respect so much just ends up being as flawed as everyone else. You knew that, and you were only trying to help me see it too. It wasn't right for me to lash out at you like I did. I'm sorry, Shigaraki."
Midoriya had been helping to keep the compress against Shigaraki's arm but had slowly eased himself against the back of the couch. From this position, Shigaraki could see the sincerity on his face.
"I didn't mean to scare you at the subway station. I had no idea I was going to pass out there. I didn't think you would really try to follow me either. Why should you? I'm just another burden. But you saying that you almost lost me… Do I really mean that much to you, Midoriya? I'm grouchy, insensitive, and an inconvenience. What qualities could I possibly have that are worth you feeling sad if I were gone."
Midoriya launched himself forward, grasping Shigaraki's face carefully between his hands and pressed his lips to the shocked man beneath him. Wide-eyed and frozen by Midoriya's sudden dominance, Shigaraki felt the warmth of his lips sink into his own and eased his eyes shut to savor their brief connection.
"I care about you so much, Tomura. I've never considered you a burden, ever, so please don't keep thinking of yourself like that. Everything you've been through has only given me the courage to keep myself going. Your strength is amazing, and I'm in awe of it every time I see you. I meant it the first time I said it, and I'll keep telling you as often as you need to hear it. You're worth it, you are so dear to me, and I just want the chance to stay here at your side."
It was Shigaraki who pulled Midoriya back for another kiss this time, feeling the vibration against his lips as Midoriya moaned softly as he grew more confident. With his left hand, Shigaraki let his fingers drag against Midoriya's right side, sending a chill down his spine at the contact he'd wished to have for so long.
"I don't want to be alone anymore, Izuku. I just… I've kept myself distant from everyone for so long, it's going to take time for me to get used to this. But I don't want to lose you."
"I'm not going anywhere, I swear. You take as long as you need, I'll always be here for you."
Shigaraki smiled, knowing that even though most of the world had looked away from him, Midoriya was right there, staring right at him, accepting him, flaws and all. He pulled Midoriya closer, perching him against his chest, fingers running through his soft, green locks.
"Are you sure I'm not hurting you like this? What about your injuries?"
Wrapping his arms around Midoriya, Shigaraki shrugged, "I think this is a very effective treatment. I'm feeling better already."
Returning to their kiss, Midoriya found Shigaraki's hands wandering even further, snaking under his shirt and rubbing his back gently. Feeling his touch on his bare skin encouraged Midoriya to deepen their kiss. Breathing heavily, Midoriya noticed Shigaraki's hand had stopped just at his lower back, fingertips resting at the band of his pants. Looking up, he found Shigaraki sleeping peacefully with a grin that made no effort to hide how happy he had been before dozing off.
"I guess we'll continue this another time," Midoriya whispered as he carefully pulled himself away from Shigaraki's sleeping form. He pulled a nearby blanket over the two of them and snuggled in beside Shigaraki, taking care to not lean too much of his weight on him. He'd do his best to convince him to see a doctor tomorrow, but for tonight, they'd have each other to help them heal.
Midoriya may not have slept that night, but laying next to the one he cared about most, he still felt rested and peaceful once dawn had started to peek through the windows.