A/N: Hello all! With this chapter I am trying to give insight as to how Rey is feeling and what is up with the voice that was introduced last chapter. I have big plans for this fic, so I hope you all like it enough to stay with it! Any and all feedback welcome!
Chapter Two: Who am I
Rey shifted her body to the left, trying in vain to find a more comfortable position. The room she had been brought to was different than the interrogation room she had been in before. There was nothing inside but a small ledge made of the same metal that lined the walls. The ledge was meant as a bed, but served more as a perch as there was barely enough room to lay down. The floor of the cell was of the same constitution, hard, shiny metal that gave off little more warmth than a desert night on Jakku. Abandoning the hope of finding any comfort, she rose from her seat and began to pace slowly around the perimeter of the room.
Her thoughts wandered to the voice that had invaded her mind earlier. It had been a familiar voice, the calling of the dark side, though it had never manifested so strongly before. She had always been privy to its persuasions, hearing small whispers every now and then asking her to open her mind to the Dark, but she had always found resisting it easy. Today had been different. The dark sensed her faltering resolve immediately, swooping in to prey on her indecision. The voice she heard was clear and concise, telling her exactly what she needed to hear to convince herself of the choice she had struggled with for so long.
She looked at her hands, wondering what would come next. Upon choosing the dark side she had expected to feel like an entirely new person. She had expected clarity and peace, a sense of belonging and content that she had never known while in the Light. It was clear to her now that she had been mistaken, and her fear, doubt, and anger still swarmed in her mind like insects buzzing around Unkar Plutt's junkyard.
Why is it you doubt us, my child? The voice slammed into her, sending a chill all the way down to her toes. For once, you are in control. You have taken back your life, your path, your destiny…there is no longer anything to fear. We are here. He is here. And now…you are here.
She stopped pacing, returning to the ledge as if the movements of her thoughts would calm as well. There were two guards stationed outside, so she thought it best to continue their conversation internally.
Who are you? You are more than just the Dark. Are you Snoke? Vader? Who? She tried to create a tone of annoyance, but found it difficult to do when confined to the inside of her head.
We are not one, we are many. Just as the Light holds the souls of its fallen, so too does the Dark. We know you, Rey of Jakku, as we have always known you. You have walked through life lonely, scared, and angry with those that have tossed you to the side. The strength that you have is by us, as we have given it to you. We have felt your struggle, as if our own, and we have waited, patiently, as you found your way from the Light back to us.
She sat in silence, mulling over the words that echoed against her skull. There was truth in them, a truth she could not deny even if she had wanted to. Her life had been a series of tragedies, one loss after another in a montage of pain and regret; however, she couldn't remember ever choosing the Light. It had always felt so natural, like a warm blanket rather than the raging ocean of the Dark.
If my power comes from you, why was I not always with you? Why was I in the Light for so long if my source of power is such darkness? She was afraid again…afraid that she was being lied to as she so often had been.
With darkness comes light, and with light, darkness. One cannot exist without the other. As we pushed our darkness into you, so too were you showered by the Light. Our darkness attracted them, and they worked against us for so long, pulling you toward them for many years. We knew you would come back to us one day. We were patient.
Rey felt truth in these words. There had always been something missing, and now she knew what that was. The struggle, the pain, the loneliness…it was all a result of denying her true self. The relief flooded her as she felt power surge through her. It was different than the Light. Where the Light was weightless and soothing, the dark was roaring and loud. Her chaotic thoughts honed in on the anger that she had suppressed, amplifying it and focusing it. The weight that had always rested on her shoulders seemed to lift as she finally accepted herself. This is who she truly was, who she had always been, and she found herself reaching out with the force to find Kylo Ren.