A/N: Brief mentions of miscarriage in this chapter.
And once again, I do not own CM or any of the characters.
"You're thinking about the kids again, aren't you?" Derek asked as he crawled into bed. Emily nodded solemnly, setting down her book. She slid down from where she was sitting against the headboard and curled into Derek's side.
It was her second night back in DC after the case in New Jersey. After the social worker arrived, Emily had helped explain to Nora, as best as one can to a 3-year-old, that her parents had joined her grandparents "in the sky." Nora had clung to Emily then, bursting into tears and refusing to let go of Emily when the social worker tried to pry her away. Emily made the choice to stay then, while the team returned to DC. She stayed with the kids at the DCS facility overnight and waited for the temporary foster parents to pick them up in the morning.
When the time had come for Emily to finally say goodbye, both Nora and Adam cried profusely. Emily knew that they weren't explicitly crying for her but rather for the loss of every bit of familiarity they had. Still, she couldn't help but feel like she was abandoning them.
"Is it weird that I miss them?" Emily asked, tears prickling at her eyes.
Derek pulled her closer as he spoke. "Not at all. It's who you are. Deny it all you want, but deep down you're a big softy and I know you care deeply about those kids." A few moments passed of comfortable silence before Derek spoke again. "What if we adopted them?"
Emily raised herself up on her elbow, looking at Derek with wide eyes. "You've been thinking about it, too?"
He nodded. "I know there's a lot to consider, but it seems like something we should talk about. I just didn't know how to bring it up or how you would feel about it. It hasn't been that long since… you know."
And she did know. He was referring to the baby they lost just a few months ago. Emily hadn't even known she was pregnant and then one particularly rough take down during a case had her in the hospital, bleeding heavily after a kick to her lower abdomen. It was the second miscarriage they'd had in the year since they started trying for a baby, and after the second time, both Emily and Derek had agreed to take a break. They were still relatively young, in their late thirties, and felt they could afford to take a year to emotionally heal and think about how they wanted to proceed.
"It's all I've been thinking about and I'm ready, but Derek, what if they hate us? I mean, we failed to protect their parents."
"First of all, we did our best. We can't force people into protective custody if they don't want it, and Trent and Julie made that choice. Second of all, as much as I hate to say it, Adam won't even remember them, and Nora's conscious memories of them will fade, too. We have to believe that by the time they're old enough to ask questions, they'd be mature enough to understand the truth." Derek reached over and wiped a tear from Emily's cheek with his thumb. "If you want to look into this, to do this, I'm all in."
"I have a few connections in social services, I'll make some calls in the morning." Emily said, cuddling back into Derek's side. "I love you." Emily whispered before drifting off to sleep.
####
Emily and Derek were fortunate. Due to their jobs, they already had full clearance and background checks complete. Furthermore, they didn't have to worry about attending adoption seminars on how to handle children who suffered from physical or emotional trauma, their training at the BAU far surpassing anything they would have learned.
Over the next week, they filled out mounds of paperwork, gathered their references and completed their first home study. The second week, they met with a case manager to talk about their chances of getting Adam and Nora moved to DC to stay with them.
"After two weeks in the system, most kids their age would already in several family's eyesight for adoption. However, with all the media attention their family received during the murders, people aren't exactly lining up. It's unfortunate for the kids, but it'll make moving them here easier. Now that you have all your paperwork in order, I'll contact their agency and make the request. I should know by the end of the week. In the meantime, given the likelihood, I'd start talking about your plans if everything goes through." The case manager advised.
Derek and Emily walked away from the meeting hopeful but took the case manager's advisement to heart. When they got home that night, they had a serious conversation about work. The reality was that if they were going to have Nora and Adam in their care, they didn't both want to be subject to the demands of the BAU.
"You're in line for the unit chief position if Hotch gets moved up to section chief, are you sure you want to give that up?" Emily asked as they sat down on the couch to talk.
"Yeah, definitely." But Derek had been silent for just a beat too long before replying and Emily caught it. She narrowed her eyes at him and he sighed. "Fine, I don't know. But are you ready to give up your career?"
"I am. I've dedicated my life to my career for the past decade, Derek. First at Interpol, then the FBI. I want to focus on us now, on our potential family." Emily said with determination.
Derek nodded, smiling. "Alright, if you're sure, then we can prep Hotch for the possibility of you leaving."
Emily shifted to sit between Derek's legs, leaning back against his chest. They were both quiet for a moment, each sipping on their wine.
"I can't believe we could have two kids running around here in a few weeks." Derek whispered.
####
Three weeks later, the kids were moved to DC. Derek and Emily were called in by their case manager, Elise, to sign the final paperwork necessary to takeover temporary custody. Elise confirmed that if all further home visits and check-ins go well, in six months they could be assigned a court day to finalize the adoption.
"Are you ready to take the kids home?" Elise's question was met by two eager head nods and she led the couple down the hall to a playroom where Nora and Adam were.
Nora turned towards the door when they entered the room, tilting her head. "Emily?"
"Yeah, sweetie. It's me." Emily replied as she knelt down in front of her. "Would you like to come home with me and Derek?"
Nora looked to her brother who was happily playing with some blocks before looking back to Emily. "Adam can come too?"
"Of course!" Derek replied, kneeling down beside Emily. Nora nodded shyly then, stepping closer to Emily. Emily looked apologetically to Derek, but he simply smiled. He knew that Emily had spent more time with the kids and he didn't expect anything to come easy given what they had been through.
Elise and the employee who had been watching the kids helped carry their bags out to Derek and Emily's SUV. Emily was shocked by how little they had, knowing that many of their things must've been left behind and sold in the estate sale. Adam had a few more bags than Nora, the foster family from NJ having packed extra formula, baby food, diapers and wipes for him.
Emily and Derek secured the kids into the car seats they had purchased and a few minutes later they were on their way home. Adam babbled happily on the drive while Nora clutched her stuffed puppy and stared out the window. Emily reached across the console and took Derek's free hand.
"You ready for this?" She asked as he briefly looked over at her.
"With you by my side, absolutely."