Chapter Two
By the time we got there, it was nightfall, and the large, lighted stone building intimidated me at first glance.
Aro wasted no time and led us inside. Finally, we weren't running. Giving my mind a chance to catch up to how far we'd traveled in such a short amount of time. By then, I felt slightly numb, and though I could see perfectly clearly, my mind was having trouble taking in what I was seeing.
My eyes were seeing something rather amazing, something I'd never seen before in person, but all I could feel and think was, 'Trap. Run.' By the time I felt the hint of resistance, the slightest beginnings of considering changing my mind, I was already inside.
I was a little okay with that, though. I couldn't change my mind yet. I was here for a reason.
I was let to my feet almost before I was ready to stand, but a firm hand kept me from stumbling. I felt unsteady, uncomfortable, and so suddenly completely unprepared and impossibly alone.
He handed me my bag, and I took it easily. It was a little heavy, but I'd manage.
The various guard members that had arrived with us left. My coat was taken with them, but I didn't have a chance to protest. It wasn't like I'd be needing it again. I shivered.
The inside of this building was probably even more intimidating than the outside. I wasn't sure how that was possible, but it probably had a lot to do with that alone feeling I was having trouble accepting. Each step further into this place, no matter how small, bothered me.
The walls were stone. Very old stone. That wasn't weird for the area, but it was weird for me. I came from home.
I took the hint, though, following Aro directly now, looking around myself. I had to admit, it was tiring to be carried. I preferred to walk. I was both emotionally and physically tired, however. Just so worn out. There wasn't much more I could handle. I needed a moment to process, and I had a feeling if I just went along, I would get that moment.
I vaguely recognized the room we walked into from the visions I'd had before, but it was strange to be seeing it now in person. It was cold in here, and not comforting in the least. Very wide open, and every sound I heard came back at me in an echo that unsettled me. I knew enough to know that this room was where they spent most of their time.
I barely paid attention to Aro as he greeted the two others in the room, slowing my stride to look around. I wasn't just leaping into my future here. I was going to have to get used to it first. I stood closer to the middle of the room, unsure about moving any further. I was mostly waiting for someone to tell me what to do, because I had no idea.
Every bit of me craved to be home again, but that reminded me. The whole reason I was here.
"This can't possibly be the same child we met five years ago." Caius spoke up before I could. He seemed surprised to see me now as both he and Marcus stood up from their chairs. He was probably not used to the way humans age.
"I assure you, she is." Aro smiled, stepping forward and moving into place between the two of them. Once there, he turned to face me, and continued to speak. "Welcome home, dear Leandra. If there is anything you need, anything at all, don't hesitate in informing one of us. I am sure-"
"I need something." I spoke up as firmly as I could. I ignored the unsettling sound of my own voice coming back to me. "Where is Josh?"
"In time, my dear. He's quite eager to see you again too." Aro smiled. So Josh did remember me. That was a good sign. "However, for now, I must insist you rest. I'm sure you're exhausted from the day you've had, so feel free to retire for the evening."
The way Caius looked me over made me very uncomfortable, though. The slight smile on his face caused me to cross my arms over my stomach insecurely.
"Not until I see him." I replied. "How do I know you even actually have him?" Kinda stupid to be thinking of that now of all moments, but I wasn't going to be easy to keep.
"Up the hall, the first door on your left is your quarters." Aro continued, ignoring my question. "I'm sure you'll find it comfortable and quite pleasant."
"That isn't what I-"
He seemed to relent a little, humoring me. "Seven sharp, you'll be brought back in here by the guard posted outside your quarters for the rest of my closest guard to meet you officially. Be prepared for that."
Assuming Josh would be in that group, and knowing it would be stupid to keep arguing, I wordlessly nodded. I could live with that for right then. I was getting that moment to process, and I shouldn't waste it by pissing him off so soon. I had to admit, I also wanted nothing more than to just get out from under Caius' gaze.
"Again, welcome home." Aro repeated. "Feel free to request anything you need. Enjoy your night, Leandra."
I pursed my lips, biting back a retort. This place wasn't home. It might have been where I lived now, but it would never be home.
I nearly ran from the room, but managed to keep my cool. That had been highly uncomfortable, and I realized I was already dreading the next morning. If Josh wasn't there, I'd know for sure I was tricked. There wasn't much I could do about it if I was, but I just needed some kind of confirmation. I felt nervous, like I'd been too stupid to see what was right in front of me. It was too soon for that, I told myself.
It wasn't hard to find the room he'd said was mine. A very short trip up the dark, drafty hall, a guard stood outside the thick, heavy wooden door. He opened it for me before I even made it there, giving me a very polite nod. In the shadowy, fire-lit hallway, he was very intimidating, so I just ducked around him.
The first look around the room, before I was even inside, surprised me a little. I was relieved to see that at least my room had electricity, given the light of the lamp sitting on the bedside table. The room was huge, but it seemed so cold to me. A huge, four-poster king sized bed sat against the wall across the room, and of course, the bedside table.
In the far corner, a rather large stone fireplace held a brightly burning fire. Beside the fireplace, stood a large wardrobe, one of the doors open to reveal all the clothes inside it. It was clear by the glance I got of the articles of clothing inside it that Aro only vaguely understood my taste in clothes.
I stepped in fully now, and looked around. As soon as I was through the door, though, the guard closed it behind me. I jumped a little at the hollow sound, but sighed heavily as I continued to look around.
This room had an attached bathroom. Obviously added on for my comfort, but I didn't care about that. It was a very impressive bathroom. Too impressive. Golden fixtures against the stone walls seemed a little excessive.
The bathtub was easily large enough to fit four or five people at a time, and I couldn't help wondering why I'd ever need a tub that big. I wasn't that fond of taking baths. Aro should have known that.
A separate shower stood encased in glass beside the tub, so I figured I'd use that.
A sink and vanity stood nearest the door, the toilet beside it. Candles sat along the sink, and the edge of the tub. Flickering gently in the slight breeze in the room, casting almost a romantic glow about the room. The vase of fresh red roses in the corner of the vanity, reflected by the mirror there, only intensified that image.
One thing I couldn't help but notice was the fact that the room had no windows. None, whatsoever. No way to see outside, and no clock on the wall, so I had no possible way to tell how much time was passing. That would drive me crazy after enough time in here.
A long shower didn't sound so bad to me, and so I set out on my task to learn my clothing selection. Choosing to ignore the Volturi crest pendant hanging on the inside of the open wardrobe door. I still hated it, and it was all I could do not to rip it off the hook, and toss it into the fireplace. The thought of wearing that made me want to puke, but the thought of the tattoo on my chest made me smile. No matter what clothes or pendant I wore, that would always be there, reminding me where I did belong.
Unfortunately, the only pajamas I found were all made out of silk. Very smooth, airy silk. There were three sets of long sleeved and long pants black silk pajamas, and four gowns made out of red lace and black silk.
"What?" I frowned deeply. Just looking at the gowns made me cringe a little, so I chose the pajamas with the pants. Of course.
To my embarrassment, I even discovered that my underwear had been chosen as well. Sizes accurate, and all matching sets. Dear god, I wondered, what had I gotten myself into? I should have been used to those articles being bought for me, because Alice did it all the time, and I highly doubted he did any of the actual getting. No doubt he had someone else do it for him, but there was just something weird about it.
I shook that off, though. It wasn't like I'd be let out anytime soon to get this stuff myself.
Soaps and shampoos of all kinds waited for me in the cabinet hanging on the wall across from the toilet, along with every other toiletry I might need. It surprised me to see that he remembered about my human monthly needs.
Four plush black and red bathrobes hung on hooks behind the bathroom door, which I approved of. They looked very comfortable, and something I could probably be okay with staying in all day long, if ever given the chance.
Had he really not been able to see my preferences that clearly in my thoughts? Or was it like someone getting a new pet for the first time? Him just doing research on what humans would need to be more than comfortable in a new place? It was hard to pinpoint the exact reason, because it seemed like it was a little bit of a mix of the two.
I chose the rose scented soap and shampoo set, versus the lavender, and got to work starting the shower. I adjusted the temperature, wanting to burn my sadness away in the water.
I hadn't realized until after I got out of the shower how hungry I was. Having run the entire day, or rather, being carried the entire day, I hadn't eaten anything at all. I decided I'd live with it. Just to avoid having to leave the room tonight.
Tonight, I just wanted to stop moving. Stay in one place, and attempt to get used to the idea of being here. I wondered if I could eventually talk to my family, if I was good, or if I had just cut all ties to them. A phone call, a letter, a postcard, something. Anything. It wasn't like I could hide it if I tried.
Once in my pajamas, I set to the task of unpacking the few things I was allowed to bring. I chose not to look at the pictures just yet. I didn't want to lose it, but of course, I lost it anyway. I set my books on the bookshelf provided, my pillows on the bed. I tossed the pillows that had been provided to me on the floor. I didn't want those.
I cried. I missed everything about my home. Everything I thought of about how I used to live and where I came from only made me cry harder.
I wanted home. I knew it was silly to be feeling that way now, at my age, but there was nothing I wanted more. This was different, yet very similar to how I felt when they'd left back just after my tenth birthday. It hurt just as much, but this time, I couldn't be confused. I couldn't blame them because this time, I was the one that chose to leave.
The emptiness, and despair was the same. How I felt without them was an emotion I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. It hurt so much.
From there, I moved onto blaming myself. Thinking about how much it hurt me to have to leave, I'd never really stopped to consider how much it'd hurt them to have no options to keep me there. How could I have hurt them so much?
There were moments I thought I would die. Crying too hard to get any sort of breath in, I remembered. I remembered everything about home, and what my life with my family had brought me.
They'd given me freedom. Too much sometimes, but freedom, nonetheless. Everything I'd ever needed, and everything I'd had the courage to ask for. Company was what I loved the most. They were always there when I needed them. I deeply regretted not needing them more than I had.
I didn't even know what time it was when I finally did fall asleep. Curled up on the thick blanket on the too large bed, one home pillow under my head, and another curled against me, I finally fell asleep. Exhausted from crying so much, it shouldn't have surprised me that I managed to. Smelling of roses, and in pajamas that I hardly felt on.
I woke quickly, startled at a quiet knock on the door. It opened only a little bit.
"You've got an hour before you're needed."
It took me a second to remember where I was. Once I did, I sat up quickly, yawning deeply at the voice calling into the room. I appreciated the not-so-demanding way he informed me.
"Thank you." I mumbled, trying to wake up. I heard the door close again, knowing I was by myself once more. I felt groggy, still very tired after my night of crying. How would I ever get used to being here? This wasn't home. I kept telling myself that. It wasn't home. Everyone here was a stranger, and a very real threat to me.
I climbed out of bed, sighing heavily as I did so.
As with every other time I'd had a rough night, I felt almost emotionally numb. Slowly, very slowly beginning to accept that I was here now. Not there, despite how my thoughts still resided there. I had to be here, and I had to be careful. To do what was asked of me, and to just bide my time until I could do what I came here to do.
I brushed my teeth, brushed out my hair, tied it up into a loose braided bun, and set about getting dressed. I approved of my daytime clothing options, at least. Tight black jeans, and a tight fitting t-shirt. Much tighter than I was used to. It hugged and clung to me in a way I wasn't used to. Not like it was too small, but like that was the way it was designed. I usually preferred a looser fitting shirt, but this would do. I'd bring it up to Aro later.
My shoes were more of boots, but light ones. Made for females. I looked myself over in the mirror hanging inside the wardrobe, hardly recognizing myself. It was very rare for me to wear black at home. It just never appealed to me. Brown was the closest I ever came, so this was really weird. It made me feel smaller, somehow, but it really brought out the green of my eyes.
I didn't look bad, just strange. Not a wrinkle, nothing out of place.
I finally turned away from my reflection when another knock came to the door, crossing the room. I stepped out, looking up at the guard posted beside the door. Instant intimidation piercing me to my spot.
He was big. Not just muscular, but tall. Easily over six foot, closer to seven. I couldn't tell right yet if he was okay, but he could probably tell how nervous I was. His long braided blonde hair laid down his back, and his crimson eyes assessed me briefly.
"Forgetting something?" He asked quietly, and I frowned, looking down at myself until he reached up. Gripping the pendant hanging around his neck, he jingled it briefly.
"Shit." I sighed, turning back around. I jogged over to the wardrobe, grabbed the chain and pendant off the inside of the door, and I slipped it over my head with a grimace. It was very heavy, but elegant in the way it hung on me. The chain was thick, the pendant itself weighing it down and keeping it in place right in the middle of my chest, but I refused to focus on that.
"You can't forget that." My guard reminded me as I stepped back out. "That's a must around here." I nodded, appreciating the tip. I closed my bedroom door behind me, and started up the hall. He followed beside me, stepping stiffly. I wished he'd loosen up.
"What's your name?" I asked quietly, hoping I wasn't about to make him mad.
He laughed once, making me jump a little at how loud it was.
"How rude of me. Here I am, tasked to watch you, and you don't even know my name." He seemed to find that very amusing. "My name is Aidan. Ironic, isn't it?" I didn't mind him so much. I smiled a little, nodding in agreement. "No need to be shy, little miss. I know how hard it is for you, believe me. I'm at your service, for your convenience." I detected a hint of an Irish accent in his voice, but it was smooth. Not heavy, though, like he'd been away from there for a long while.
"That seems a little unfair to you." I commented, glancing up at him.
"I don't see it that way." He said, smiling. "I take my tasks seriously. No matter what it is. I'm just happy Aro chose me."
It wasn't hard to decide that Aidan wasn't so bad. Maybe I'd been thinking about this all wrong. It worried me before when I went into this thinking I'd be walking into the lion's den. It was quickly becoming apparent to me that I still had a lot to learn about being here. He was a rather large person, but I was seeing a lot of Emmett in him. He seemed lovable and kindhearted, but protective. I appreciated that.
"Me too." I finally replied honestly. I liked him.
He led me back into the large round room, and towards the middle of it. Aro greeted me with a smile as all three of them rose to their feet. The pale morning didn't make this room any warmer, but at least I could see more.
"Leandra." Aro greeted. "Just on time. I trust you slept well?"
"I did." I murmured in reply, surprise in my voice. "Thank you." At least I felt like I had a better hold on myself. Now was when I would try to find my footing again. This was a huge change.
"Wonderful." He smiled wider, giving me a nod.
He approached me again, looking me over once more. I could tell he approved of the clothing and the pendant I now wore. I couldn't read minds, but I wanted to punch him. He never laid a finger on me, though. The only thing he did was take my fingers in his with a smile, and he spoke.
"I have asked just the closest members to join us this morning. The others will get to know you later on."
"And Josh?" I asked tightly. He chuckled.
"He is just fine." He replied easily. "He has been well looked after during his stay."
Again, I bit back my reply, knowing it wouldn't do me any good to give him too much attitude. That wasn't what I asked. Why was he stalling?
Knowing the schedule, though, made me feel a little better. My mind had been showing me the worst case scenarios, me having to fend for myself in a sea of vampires. This was a little more acceptable. Little groups at a time. I could handle that.
He gave me a nod, leading me by my fingers to stand beside him. So I followed, stepping around and coming to stand beside him. I wasn't sure I liked it much, but whatever made this go smoother. Aro looked to Aidan.
"Please let the others know we're ready."
Aidan wasted no time, turning instantly and crossing the room. It surprised me a little to see that. I wasn't sure why, but it unnerved me. The way Aro commanded Aidan in a way that made it sound like a request.
It bothered me, because it was yet another clear example of the things underneath. How easy it would be to miss a cue, something I shouldn't miss. There was a very complex sort of depth there I needed to be wary of, but I didn't have a whole lot of time to focus on that.
They must have been right behind us, because all Aidan had to do was open the doors.
I couldn't help stepping back, as I was more than a little intimidated by the crowd coming in. Living with my family wasn't enough preparation for seeing that many of them coming in all at once. Especially with the knowledge that not a single one of them were like my family.
Aro's hand found my shoulder easily, holding me a little too tightly. A little too still. I ducked away, shrugging his hand off my shoulder, giving him a look as he looked at me. He didn't say anything, but I knew by his look that he didn't like that.
I watched the others closely after that, looking over the members of the guard closest to Aro. I recognized quite a few of them. All of his usual guard was there, already knowing most of their names. There were a few, though, I didn't recognize. Right up front. They must have been details that my mind couldn't keep.
They formed a line easily in the room. Two rows of seven. I was more focused on the fact that every single set of eyes was right on me than I was of the fact that all of those eyes were crimson.
"Follow." Aro told me quietly, leaving no option. He started forward, and of course, I had to follow. He slowly led me closer to them and despite how I trembled lightly, I kept as calm as I could. Their eyes followed me collectively, until we stopped. A few short feet in front of the middle of the front row.
"This human is mine." Aro spoke clearly, his voice echoing back to us. "Learn her scent, and learn it well. She is strictly off limits. She is to remain unharmed at all costs, as her life means just as much as mine." All of the murmured agreements all at once in the room was extremely unsettling.
He led the way along the line of seven guard members in the front, varying in height and build. Walking us slowly.
Their expressions were all borderline bored, but I knew they had heard every word, because I vaguely heard each one breathing in as we slowly passed. That was about the time I chose to walk beside him instead of behind him.
As used to vampires as I was, this was still very nerve-wracking. As if in reflex, he replaced his hand on my shoulder. His arm around my back leading me now. I let it stay there.
Until we reached the end, and he rounded the front row to walk us along the row in the back. Leisurely, as if taking a nice stroll somewhere. I didn't get any names, but I had a feeling that learning names wasn't what this was about.
"Aidan." Aro called as soon as we reached the end of that row. Aidan turned to the door again, pulling it open, but Aro took my attention once more. "As promised, my token of appreciation." He gestured to the door, so I looked over right as someone else paused in the doorway.
I couldn't help the wide smile spreading across my face at the one standing there as I almost immediately recognized him. His longer, untidy brown hair fell into his eyes almost the same way I remembered from the moment I last saw him.
His eyes, no longer blue, but a deep crimson, squinted a little in the way he smiled at me. Even as much as I had grown, he still stood several inches taller than me. He was closer to six feet tall when he was turned, but for once, I didn't even care.
Aro waved him in, and everyone else turned to watch as he walked in almost hesitantly, but I ignored that part. It had been a very long time, so of course, I nearly cried. It was an instant feeling, something that swelled. So suddenly, I was so overwhelmingly happy. That feeling growing the closer he got. I had obviously underestimated how much I'd missed him, because seeing him made me feel like I was getting everything I wanted.
"Leandra." Josh's voice sounded exactly the same, but completely different. It was almost like staring straight at a living memory of him. Different, but still so much the same. "You've grown up."
I barely managed to hold myself back from jumping forward quickly and hugging him the way I always used to. Seeing him so close, no time at all had passed for him. He was the same. Almost three years was a long time to go without seeing one of the best friends I ever had. I was breathless, bouncing a little in excitement.
I wasn't sure if hugging him was acceptable, until I looked over at Aro and he chuckled.
"Go ahead."
I wasted no time. I took the two steps quickly, wrapping my arms around Josh's neck tightly as he returned the embrace around my upper back. Spinning me around easily, he breathed in my scent as I laughed. The sound partially a laugh, but mostly a sob of happiness this time. His arms squeezing me just enough, holding me tightly to him.
As often as I thought of him here, I always pictured him as being miserable. As miserable as I would have been. He certainly seemed okay. Better than okay. I hadn't imagined I'd be this happy here. Ever, but here it was.
I cried, relief at seeing him again overtaking any other emotion I might have felt before. He finally stopped spinning me, letting me on my feet but continuing to hold me against him. Slowly, he softly placed his forehead against mine, and the smile on my face softened at the gesture as my eyes closed. His skin was almost overwhelmingly cold, but I was so used to it at this point, it was only natural to ignore it.
I hadn't fully realized before just how much I had missed Josh, and bonus, he was okay. I kept telling myself that. He was different, but he was okay. This closeness was something I'd never imagined I could ever have with him again.
For a good while, he'd been the only one I'd been brave enough to get close to. I hadn't dared getting close to anyone since him, not like him. Though he'd been barely sixteen when he was turned, somehow it felt like nothing had changed between us. He held me like he always used to, and despite his temperature now, I could still feel that connection. It was almost physical. Like a rope holding us together.
I forgot about everyone else, just for those precious few moments with him. We were in our own little bubble. Everything that mattered to me was smoothing my face with the lightest touch. Everything that mattered to me right then was looking right back into my eyes with the clearest crimson eyes I'd ever seen. He was looking over my face like he was learning it all over again.
"I missed you so much." He was the first one to admit that, and that only made it so much harder not to cry.
"I'm so glad you enjoy my gesture, Leandra." Aro spoke behind me, reminding me of where I was. Breaking that bubble, and bringing me back to the present. I looked back at him, and I realized how easily I'd just lost myself. That unsettled me a little. How easily I had just forgotten everything.
"I'm sorry." I took a shaky breath, stepping back and looking at Josh again. He held onto my hand, though, so I knew I hadn't upset him, but I definitely knew it was probably stupid to hang all over him like that. For a moment, I'd forgotten about that too. He was still new, and I was human.
"It's fine." Josh laughed, giving my hand a light squeeze. He really didn't seem bothered at all. That was strange as well. He was only a few years into this life. There should have been some discomfort.
What the hell had that been, though?
"You're quite welcome, my dear." Aro smiled as if I'd thanked him. "You'll have access to each other as often as you want, but for right now, I'm afraid I'll need to hold onto you, Leandra. We have some work to do."
"Okay." I mumbled, nodding a little. I had to look at Josh again, though. It was like I was drawn there. All I wanted to do was look at him. To see him, to feel his hand in my hand. I was so caught up in that. He smiled, and that feeling only got stronger. I had no idea what was wrong with me, but whatever it was, it made my throat dry. He could see it.
Without a word, he stepped forward and hugged me one more time. I wasn't done. Though this hug didn't last nearly as long, it was just enough.
"We'll catch up later." Josh told me gently as he stepped back, and I nodded again. Why did that thrill me? I wasn't keeping my head like I needed to. The flood of memories now so vivid through my mind kept reminding me why it was so easy to feel that overwhelming happiness. We'd been inseparable. He had my back.
It was just so hard to watch him leave. That had just been a tease.
I returned to the front, attempting to collect myself the entire way. I hadn't been prepared for that, despite demanding to see him the second I got here.
I watched from Aro's side as he dismissed everyone there, and they left. One woman lingered until nearly everyone else was gone, though, and I only then realized that her eyes had been on me the most the entire time. My eyes finally met hers and she immediately smiled warmly at me.
Of course she was watching me, I reasoned with myself. I was the new thing. The newest in Aro's bag of tools, and everything he'd ever wanted at the same time.
I couldn't believe how drastically my mood had changed at just seeing Josh, but being happy to see him was way better than being depressed. I wouldn't fight it.
"For future reference, my dear.." Aro spoke as soon as everyone was gone, and I looked over at him. "I won't tolerate insolence. I'm letting it go this once."
"What do you mean?" I was confused. Insolence?
"I placed my hand on your shoulder for your safety." He pointed out coolly. "Not for fun." Oh. Attitude. Defiance. I looked down a little.
"I'm sorry." I mumbled. "I.." I was going to say that I wasn't meaning to be rude, but I absolutely had been. I noticed immediately the difference in the way I felt right then to the way I felt just moments ago. That was strange.
"I understand you don't appreciate physical contact." He went on. "I will do my best to keep our physical contact to a minimum out of respect for you unless absolutely necessary." Well, that was nice of him. "Although, given how your ability works, I'm afraid I will need to take your hand."
I knew that part, so I'd had a long time to come to terms with that. My hand was fine. Anywhere else, not so much. I was a naturally guarded person, especially when it came to physical contact. I always had been, but it was still nice he noted that.
"I'm sorry." I repeated. "I'll try not to do it again. I-It's sort of instinct to do that, I guess."
"I understand." He smiled a little, which eased me. "You haven't had the easiest life, my dear, but I must also remind you. You have my word that you are safe here. You are to be protected most, as you are the most fragile."
He was so sincere, and given how important I was to him, I believed him.
Working with Aro no longer hurt me, but it exhausted me. He had clearly been waiting on me for a long time, because everything he wanted to know came up all at once.
This time around, I saw things I really could have gone my entire life without seeing. Things that had absolutely nothing to do with me, but others. Many, many others, and the decisions they made that would eventually affect the rules and balance the Volturi had to uphold. There were solid standards, lines that couldn't be crossed. Rules.
There were some uncertain ones, ones he decided to watch closer, and I finally began to see exactly what my job was. I had to give him insight where he couldn't possibly have had it before. Secrets, even. The only limit he had was having to have a heads up about them beforehand. He needed a target, but he had no shortage of those.
I knew none of them, never seen any of them before, but it wasn't up to me to know them. I was only the mirror, but it was extremely exhausting. I was tested thoroughly, but I didn't disappoint.
About mid-morning was when I was finally allowed a short break to eat. I didn't care that it was only fruit. I would have eaten anything by then, if only to get away from the images now burned into my mind, and I was starving. I was allowed to sit, and just unwind. Even through all the decisions, situations, and outcomes I'd been flooded with that morning, I still had a hard time focusing. All I wanted to do was get back to Josh.
I spoke before my short break was up.
"Can I ask you something?"
"Of course." He smiled, and I couldn't help noticing Caius looking on in curiosity. "You can always ask me anything."
"Does me being here really help you?" I asked quietly. "I mean, is it easier to do your job, or am I just something to play with?" I had kept my tone as respectful as I could. It would be some time, I knew, before I could speak my mind. I knew his answer to this, of course.
He could do his job just fine without me. He'd spent untold amounts of time already proving that, but as for me, I was a tool. Something that would make it even easier for him to bully others into doing what he wanted them to do. I'd known that all along, but it was something I couldn't shake yet.
I wanted to hear it from him.
"Of course not." He told me, very false concern in his voice. "You're a very valuable individual, Leandra." That wasn't what I asked. He was avoiding that answer.
"You could do just fine without me. We both saw it." I reminded him. "Why do you need me?"
"My dear.." He smiled softly. "It's not that I need you, but I want you. I want you to feel comfortable with those as powerful as yourself. You deserve nothing less than the finest."
"What I don't get.." I said, standing from my seat. "Is why you feel like you have to lie to me. You can't hide the truth for very long, Aro. I know you don't need me, and I know you're only using my gift for yourself."
He was clearly entertained, however.
"I've known since you first took my hand that you only want someone with an ability like mine, so you can use it to gain more power. I don't think that's fair, and no, I don't agree with it." I paused, crossing my arms. "You decided I belonged to you. No say from me. You took me from the place I wanted to be, all because you wanted someone like me. I didn't choose to come here. You chose for me, and I went along with it for the sake of my family, so I think you can at least be honest with me."
Perhaps I'd been wrong about how long I should wait before speaking my mind.
Somehow, I was surprised to find that Caius had the shortest temper of the three of them. Just with his imposing presence, just by standing up and moving forward, I was moved back a step, sitting back down.
He never laid a finger on me, but he moved me like he had all the control in the world over me. He leaned over me, and I leaned as far back as I could, stiff as a board. He looked me square in the eye, but I did everything I could to look away. So close, I lightly felt his breath on my cheek as he spoke to me.
"You ask more questions than is wise." He growled almost silently. "You've more than established that you'd rather not be here, but I think it's best for all involved to just agree to disagree on that subject and move on. Don't you?" I nodded tensely, keeping my gaze averted, and he smiled. "Good. No more questions?" I shook my head in reply this time, and he chuckled.
Nope. I would keep the questions to a minimum for right then. Questions bad. Got it.
Other than shaken up, though, I was completely fine. He stood up, leaving me sitting there as he returned to his seat and I tried to breathe.
"Wonderful." Aro smiled. "Let's get started again, shall we?"
By the time I got out of there for a real break, I was too tired to feel sad. In my room, I was given some lunch and time to recoup. The first thing I did, though, was lay across my bed. Whether or not my gift was ready for this, I wasn't used to it. One or two visions was all he'd given me before. Nothing like this.
I'd already lost track of how many different names and faces and situations he'd been looking for, which circumstances needed to change and which ones, based on their future decisions, he needed to influence in so many little different ways. Less presence and control. More presence and control..
I was startled awake by the light knock on the door, not even realizing I'd been falling asleep.
"Yeah?" I called, sitting up. Was my break over already?
The door opened, and I smiled tiredly at Josh stepping in, closing the door behind himself. I held myself back this time, but I couldn't help my growing smile. I was so happy to see him, I felt it swell again.
He crossed the room quickly, right to my side. He sat down next to me, looking at me in much the same way as he had before. He studied me like I was such a sight for sore eyes, and he didn't want to look away. I looked down as he reached out and captured my hand.
I didn't mind that. Especially as he turned our hands over and pressed his palm against mine, and interlacing our fingers. It was so much the same. I certainly wasn't expecting him to be so much the same, like he'd kept so much of himself.
I was surprised at the sudden rush of emotion. I'd missed him so very much.
"So tell me." He murmured after a minute of sitting there with me. "What happened? How is everyone?"
My small smile faded at the reminder, and I looked down again. I hadn't expected to get onto this subject so quickly, but I guess we needed to start somewhere. I could only imagine how busy his mind had been wondering about the life he left behind.
"That bad?" He prompted sadly.
"That bad." I confirmed. "Everything just.. Kinda fell apart when you disappeared." His smile faded too, and concern colored his face. "Your parents both work too much now, and I don't even recognize Zack anymore. He took it hard. I mean, we all did, but.. I would say your family took it the hardest. You meant so much to them."
"Damn." He sighed, looking down. He clearly didn't like hearing that.
"I didn't even know you were missing until three days later. I did my best to find you, mostly so I could hit you for making your mom worry. Until I found out what happened.." I trailed off, looking down. "I've felt so damn guilty this whole time."
"Hey." He murmured quietly. "Don't. Don't feel guilty."
"It's my fault you're here, instead of home with your family." I pointed out just as quietly. "It's my fault you're.. Like this."
"They'll be okay." He was the one assuring me? "I miss them sometimes, but it's better this way. This way, I get what I wanted. I get to be here. With you."
"I almost didn't come." I admitted, running my fingers over his palm absently.
He seemed sad about that. "I heard you were having some trouble deciding." I nodded a little. "So how did you decide?"
"I owed you more than that." I replied easily. "You meant more to me than just leaving you here. I've thought about it a lot over the last few years." He nodded this time, and we fell quiet for a few seconds before I spoke again. "It was just really hard leaving."
"So I take it they eventually forgave you?" He asked, and I smiled a little at the reminder. All the trouble I'd gotten into.
"Yeah." I nodded. "They eventually forgave me. After I figured out that there were more important things. It was such a hard lesson.. But it was more than I deserve." Before I could start getting teary, I shook my head. "What about you? What have you been through? Tell me everything."
"Well.." He sighed, pausing to think. "There's not much to tell. The beginning really sucked. I had no clue about.. Any of this, but I was filled in pretty quickly. They told me that this was needed. What my job was. Why I was here, I mean, but it turned out pretty okay. The worst part was missing home, but now that you're here, I miss it a little less."
I smiled. I knew what he meant.
"It's not so bad here when you get used to it." He added with a laugh.
My job was going to be a little difficult.
"Aro said.. That you'd be trained.." I hesitated, looking for his reaction, and he just smiled.
"That." He laughed a little, and I waited. "Tolerance."
I wasn't quite sure what he meant, until he reached up with his other hand, and gently smoothed my cheek until he cupped my face. I smiled. That's all he meant? That certainly explained why he was able to hug me earlier without an issue.
"I needed to learn how to be careful with you, because I was supposed to be here for you when you got here. I wouldn't have been very helpful if I couldn't even stand to be around you. You're breakable now, so I learned."
I closed my eyes briefly as his thumb smoothed gently over my skin. His hand was so sure, so steady, I was surprised to find I trusted him completely. He wasn't hesitant at all, like he could leave his hand there forever, and never have to move it away.
I opened my eyes again to find that he was smiling. I wasn't sure how far that training went, but whatever happened, I found myself grateful for it. I just couldn't figure out how I could still feel this strongly for him. All the old feelings were still there, as if they had never faded, but so many new, stronger ones burned in my stomach now.
He lightly ran his hand down, his fingers brushing over my neck and embarrassingly, my heart reacted to that. My breathing hitched just a little, and I finally remembered that I should be bothered by this. Instead, though, I laughed and ducked away.
He chuckled a little, obviously hearing that, but he took the hint and let his hand fall. Because I felt bad, I caught his hand as it fell, holding it in mine.
"How extensive was this training?" I couldn't help wondering.
Again, he laughed.
"Pretty extensive." He answered with a little nod. Before I could reply, he took a breath and turned, now sitting cross-legged on my bed. It was so casual of a move, it made me follow suit. Now sitting across from him instead of beside him. I had to admit, this was more comfortable for me.
He sighed.
"So tell me more. I wanna know everything, too."
I found it pretty suspicious that he'd change the subject so abruptly, but I fell for it.
"Um.." I sighed, thinking, until I thought of something. "Oh. Andrew's a werewolf."
"What?" That was a complete shock to him, and I laughed.
"I don't have any of the details of how.. Any of that works, so I had no idea until Ness told me yesterday. You remember Ness, right?"
"Edward's cousin." That was the story I'd told him, so I understood his confusion.
"His.. And Bella's.. Daughter." I admitted, and again, he seemed surprised.
"Biological?" He asked. I nodded. "Whoa. How does that work?"
I laughed again. "Same way as it usually does, I guess. I don't know. I just know nobody expected it, and it was really scary."
"And Ness was what happened from it?" He asked, and again, I nodded.
"Long story." I laughed. "But she was born. Maybe not just like every other baby, but my family.. They helped Bella make it through it. I got to see Ness right after she was born, while Bella was being turned. Now she's as old as I am. She'll get a little bit older, but that's where she'll stay."
"That's.. Actually kind of amazing." He really seemed impressed, and we both laughed.
"Anyway." I went on. "Ness is always with Jacob and the pack, so I'm glad she told me Andrew would be taken care of. I know she'll help him."
"What pack?" He was still lost.
"It's a long story." I laughed again. "There's so much I never told you guys."
"Obviously." He laughed as well. "But you look like you fared pretty well."
"It's all an act." I was only partially joking. "I really died the second I left yesterday."
"Well, let me know if there's anything I can do to make it easier on you." He offered sincerely. "That is my job, after all."
"This actually helps." I admitted, smiling a little.
"Then this is what we'll do." He sat straighter. "Every day. I'll be here so we can both whine about our woes. Just like old times." I couldn't help laughing at how eagerly he declared that.
I fell quiet as I looked around, my small smile fading. I inspected the room. It was so cold. Compared to where I came from.
"This isn't what you were expecting?" Josh observed.
"I'm not sure what I was expecting." I sighed, looking down at my hands. "It's just.. Unbelievable how much I miss my home."
"I can see that." He admitted sadly.
"I guess I never.." I trailed off, unsure how to word it. "When I first met them, I was just this.. Broken little thing. You have no idea. I owe every bit of who I am now to them, and the way they built me up. They gave me everything I needed to learn, and looking back now, I never thanked them as much as I should have."
"They know." He assured me gently. "It would be impossible not to."
"But I'm here." I argued. "Instead of choosing to stay."
"If anything, the fact that you're here instead shows them how much they mean to you." He explained. "As weird as that sounds. I know why you came here, and I have to say, I admire you so damn much." That meant a lot. Keeping my eyes down, I interlaced our fingers again. I fought tears again.
"I can't think about that right now." I muttered, shaking my head. I surprised myself with a yawn. I was more tired than I thought.
"Are you tired?" He caught on.
"Very." I answered, mid-stretch. "But I'm not done yet. There are still two more things Aro's looking for. They're hard to see."
"Why would they be hard to see?" He wondered. As far as I knew, he didn't know much about what I could do.
"Options." I answered easily. "At any time, anyone can decide to do anything. If what they decide to do takes them off the path they're on now, every little thing changes. Knowing the future, what's coming.. It's not as simple as it seems. It's heavy. There are so many things that can change everything, in a split second. For example.. One of the things Aro is looking at is a coven, so the different members all influence how things go."
"That much?" He asked, and I nodded.
"A coven is a lot more than just people living together." I replied. "It's.. Family, but so much stronger of a bond. They're all pieces of the same puzzle. The smallest little thing can cause the biggest changes." He nodded, understanding. "When everything changes, it's hard to keep track of how far that change changes everything else. How far it ripples, I guess, and how all of that loops back and ties into itself, giving the specific answer Aro is looking for."
"And you keep track of all that?" He asked, amused but also amazed.
"Well, not really." I smiled a little. "I just see it. There's no way I can remember all of it. That's Aro's job. Since he's the one that makes it work this way."
"That still sounds really hard." He seemed a little worried.
"That's my job now." I reminded him, unfolding my legs. "I was born with this gift. I used to have a hard time imagining I'd ever be okay with it, but it's been part of me for so long, it works automatically. Like a second set of thoughts underneath everything else. I've gotten so good at it, I don't even need a real vision."
"What do you mean?"
"I go by feeling." I answered. "If something feels off, it is. Jasper taught me a lot when it came to looking at how I feel, so I know how to really look. Different situations can cause tiny changes in the way an emotion works."
"For example..?" He seemed amused.
"For example.." I trailed off, thinking. "Okay, you know how it feels to be scared?"
"I think I remember." He replied, nodding with a smirk. I smirked too.
"The difference between terror, and panic." I went on. "Those are two different emotions. They're very, very similar, but they're still different. With me so far?" He nodded. "I don't need a real vision to figure out what's going on. The emotions provide it for me just by being there, and my gift will sometimes give me small details to bridge the gap between what I feel and what my gift is trying to tell me. I'll suddenly know something I didn't know before, or I'll step left when I was intending to step right. When stepping right would have been a really bad idea."
"Scary impressive." He nodded again.
"The real visions are for him." I sighed. "Sometimes, I'll dream them if the future is bad enough, but it hasn't happened in awhile. Probably because I don't need them, so, probably until I'm turned.. I only really get them when he uses his gift on me. It's like an instant, automatic thing." He was quiet now. "I've.. Gotten a lot better about paying attention to my gift since the last time we saw each other, but there are ways around it. I can't see two things at once. I just don't have the room, so I can miss things if a decision is made while my mind is occupied with something else."
"You've had this ability all this time?" He asked, surprised. I laughed a little, and nodded. "That explains a lot."
I laughed again, before I stood up and immediately stretched. I figured I might as well get the rest of this over with while I could. I had a lot of thinking to do about my angle in regards to Josh.
Josh was clearly fine here, but then again, that could have been a trick. As happy as I was to see him, I had to keep in mind that he was different now. No matter how much he seemed the same.
My eyes closed in another yawn, and when I blinked them open, I was startled by Josh suddenly standing there. I hadn't heard him get up, but I should have expected that. I laughed, until I noticed how close he was.
"Back to work so soon?" He asked, winding his arms around me.
"Um.." I couldn't breathe, much less reply. My first instinct was to be nervous, but somehow, that faded, and the happiness overwhelmed me again. I accepted it, carefully hugging him in return. I relaxed into it, closing my eyes and stepping closer to him. Close enough to rest my head against his chest.
If I ignored everything around me and the hollow silence in his chest, I could almost pretend that it was him. The one I knew. He was here, and for a second, I forgot everything else. He was here, somehow more real than he'd ever been. The few inches I'd grown in the last couple of years just made me fit even more perfectly against him.
"I have to." I eventually did reply.
"Then I guess you should go." He murmured quietly, his voice so much smoother than I ever remembered, but I couldn't open my eyes. It took me a moment to realize that I was breathing deeper than I normally did, and he really smelled good.
"Yeah." I muttered. I had yet to move.
A quiet knock at the door had me jumping back, out of Josh's arms as if I'd get into trouble for standing that close to him.
"Yeah?" I called in reflex, and Josh laughed a little.
"I apologize for interrupting." Aidan pushed open the door a little. "But I'm only letting you know that you've been given the rest of the day off."
"Really?" I asked, surprised.
"Yes." Aidan replied. "In Aro's words, it wouldn't do well to overwhelm you on your first day." I blinked in surprise. He also probably wanted to give them more of a chance to make up their minds.
"Oh." I muttered. "Okay. Thank you."
"You're quite welcome." He replied, and he closed the door again. I immediately turned around, and laid back down on my bed. That was a huge relief.
For some reason, I never thought about all the free time I would have. I never thought about what I would do when Aro didn't need me. He wouldn't be spending every second of every day looking ahead, and no doubt for my safety, he wouldn't want me hanging around there 24/7.
"Would you like me to leave?" Josh asked, and I turned over onto my back.
"No." I replied immediately. "You can stay for however long you want." He smiled, and slowly returned to my bed, sitting back down. I sighed, reaching up and rubbing my eyes. They still felt sore from all of the crying I'd been doing.
And so we caught up. Talking the rest of the day. Or so I assumed.
I learned his place here, and how many friends he'd made. He was with Aidan, in the background. He was still too new to be considered part of the guard yet, but he was there for extra help. They'd treated him well, and for what it was worth, he really could have ended up somewhere worse.
Needless to say, it had been a shock to him. The only thing he remembered was the intense pain, and waking up here. His intense training started, day in and day out, pretty much as soon as he woke up. That training was far more complicated than I had thought.
It was a disaster at first, but here, humans were expendable. A dime a dozen. He learned fast, though, and every test he passed with said human leaving the room alive, he knew he was getting better. That gave him more confidence. That confidence, and knowing he was going through it for my eventual arrival really helped.
The tests and training only got harder as time went on. I didn't ask for details, though. He really seemed proud of himself. I just wanted him to keep that. That certainly explained, though, how he was so comfortable with me.
Then came my turn to tell him about everything else I'd been up to since our trouble-making days together. It was an odd mix between just appreciating what I had, and sorting through the painful parts of my past. Like sitting in the middle of a room with everything just piled up and strewn everywhere. Picking one thing up, inspecting it, and putting it in its own spot. I'd done a whole lot of work in that aspect, and I never realized before just how deep those wounds really went.
I told him about how I stopped trying to bury everything. Up until the night we got caught, that summer had been my chance to get it all out. I was never tempted to get that drunk or high again. Thinking about it now, it was probably the mix of the two that really knocked me on my ass, and it definitely made me see things I wouldn't have otherwise.
I reluctantly filled him in on what was going on with Zack. How withdrawn he'd become, and what I'd found out the night of his mom's birthday. I expressed my worry about Ken corrupting him, and the things he said to me. That only seemed to piss him off, but he didn't comment much on it except to tell me that he was wrong. I was just sorry to leave that whole mess the way it was. I hated leaving without making things right.
I told him about how hard I tried to find him, but I did have one question I'd been needing to ask.
"Why did you need that money?" I asked. "From Ken?"
He seemed confused at first, looking away in thought. Like he actually had to think about that answer. I could see clearly when the answer finally came to him.
"Ah, I was being a stupid kid." He replied. When that answer obviously wasn't enough for me, he sighed a laugh. "Long story short, I wanted to help you."
I could gather what he meant by that, but I smiled anyway, nudging him.
"Long version?" I pressed.
He laughed quietly in response. "Long story long, you'd always had one of the most.. I guess adventurous spirits I'd ever seen. With you, it just seemed like you were always on the verge of having nothing to do. You were after experiences, and I just knew that being held back was killing you. I wanted to give you some breathing room. I would have taken you as far away as we could get. I actually thought that that was the best move. For you, I would have gone anywhere."
I honestly hadn't really expected that answer. To know that he was even capable of feeling like that for anyone, much less me. That seemed like such a strange thing to me, despite how I felt the exact same thing for him.
"I'd already let you down." He went on in my amazed silence. "I just.. Needed a way to make it right, but you and I both know that it wouldn't have been the right move."
"That's why I told you what I told you that day." I reminded him. "It was just weird for me to be the voice of reason."
"That's actually what changed my mind." He laughed. "You were talking me out of something for once, instead of the other way around. I was a little embarrassed, and my stupid pride was hurt, but I was going to stay. I was going to, but my mom started harping on me over some stupid thing that night. I feel bad now, but man, I was furious back then. Some of the things I said to her.."
I started to see a shade of remorse I didn't like seeing in his eyes, but he blinked and it was gone.
"Anyway." He continued. "I had to take a walk. I wound up-"
"At the barn." I finished for him, and he smiled a little. "We tracked you there."
"At the barn." He confirmed, nodding. "All I wanted was a chance to cool off. It was stupid to go off on my own, but I didn't think I'd be followed. I wasn't expecting to cool off this much." He touched the tips of his fingers against my cheek. I wouldn't let him joke his way out of it.
"She forgives you, you know." I pointed out, and his smile faded slowly in sadness. He looked down, so I went on. "Your mom. She forgives you."
"I know." He nodded after a moment. "I know, but I also know that there's absolutely no way she'll ever forgive herself, and that hurts so much more. That's what hurts me the most about my unfinished life. Yeah, it sucks going through all the things I never got to say. Things I'd ask my dad, and tell my brother. Things I'd left behind, places and people I'd never see again. All that sucks, but knowing that my mom felt even the slightest bit of guilt over what happened, much less as much as I know she did.."
He trailed off, and I couldn't help reaching over and taking his hand.
"She always did her very best for us, and for too long, I'd forgotten that." He was quieter when he continued. "I've thought about it a lot." Somehow, he sounded so ashamed.
"That's a good thing." I told him. He seemed a little confused. "Trust me, burying things doesn't do anyone any good. All it does is make more of a mess. You have to think about them, and feel whatever you feel. Every one of the thoughts that hurt you, you have to face them and give them their time. That's how they heal. Yeah, they'll probably always be there, and they might always ache, but the more you face it, the less often they'll bring you to your knees."
"I think that's the realest bit of advice you've ever given me." He replied after a few silent seconds. I couldn't help smiling a little.
"It's something I learned the hard way." I admitted.
We were only interrupted when dinner was brought for me, but we just kept talking like nothing happened. A few times, though, I made sure to remind myself of just how different he was.
There were quite a few missing bits of his past, parts he didn't remember erased by being turned, but that was also to be expected. I found it was just as fun explaining these things as it would have been just sharing the memories. He listened to every word as if totally enraptured by admitting to the things we'd get into.
I talked so much, I couldn't believe that several hours had passed since the last time I thought about how badly I missed being home. He distracted me so thoroughly, I forgot for a time to be miserable.
That was such a shock to realize, but I never missed a beat.
Josh had to leave after a little while more, after Aidan poked his head in and told him to scram. That I needed to rest, so we said our good nights. I walked him out, still smiling even after the door was closed.
Now that I had the focus to devote to it, though, the sadness did start creeping in. Without Josh here warming it up, the room was cold again.
I sat for a few minutes on the side of the bed, just thinking. I was so very tired, though. The wild range of emotions and all the strain put on my mind the whole day had really chipped at my resolve to be stubborn.
I was back on my feet, deciding to take another shower before bed. Not that I had even done anything strenuous, but I was getting pretty used to the smell of roses, and the warmth of the water really sounded nice. I found one of the many black t-shirts I now owned to dedicate purely for a sleep shirt. There was no way I was wearing that silk stuff tonight.
I eventually laid down, more tired than I thought I was. Falling to sleep easily, I couldn't help it. The last couple of days had been some of the worst in my life. The only upside being Josh. He wasn't enough to completely take away the ache of leaving my family, but he soothed it with his presence.
The following day started much the same way, but this time, I was brave enough to request a few things. Nothing too demanding.
Mostly I wanted more comfortable clothes. I would wear whatever color he wanted, but I didn't like how tight the t-shirts were. I wanted cotton pajamas, because I hated silk. I wanted to lay on the sheets without sliding off.
I wanted a window, but seeing as how my room didn't have an outside wall, that was pretty impossible, but we did compromise. I was allowed to have a clock.
Everything was provided by the time I got to return to my room. Several new clothing selections, and the new ornate clock took up a lot of one of the bare stone walls in the room.
I was okay with that.
Apparently, I'd saved Aro a lot of work. He accomplished so many things in one day that would have taken him weeks of talking to people, and that's even if they told the truth. He got the answers he was looking for, and was so pleased about that, he gave me most of the day off. I just had to be on call, ready in case he needed me. I could do that.
I changed my shirt, and approved of the new fit. I felt like I could breathe. My jeans were tight too, hugging my legs and hips like a second skin, but I could deal with that.
I'd just laid back down on my bed, when another knock came to the door. I had a feeling I knew who it was, so I rolled onto my back.
"Come in." I called, and the door opened.
I was surprised into sitting up as a woman walked in. I recognized her as one of the ones that had met me in the main room the day before, part of Aro's closest guard, so I was on my feet quickly. She had been the one watching me so closely.
She smiled as she approached.
"I'm sorry to disturb you." She spoke softly, almost sweetly. "I only wanted to introduce myself properly." I relaxed slightly. That made sense, and I wasn't in some kind of trouble. I hesitated only a second as she held her hand out to me, placing mine in hers. "My name is Chelsea. How wonderful it is to finally meet you, Leandra."
I couldn't help smiling at her in return. She was so warm.
"Same." I returned. "It's nice to meet you."
It really was. I couldn't quite figure out what made her so likable, but I also didn't even think twice.
"It seems you've made quite the impression here." She told me, releasing my hand, and I wasn't prepared for the painful reminder. That line from so many years ago. Edward had told me the same thing during that first conversation. I felt a hard pang of sadness, but I did what I could to hide that.
"Oh, don't worry." She misread the fall in my expression. "It's a good thing. Especially around here." I looked back up, and she smiled again. "Between you and me, it's been quite dull. You can't imagine the excitement."
"Really?" I asked, slightly amazed. I never even thought about that. I hadn't thought of the fact that this was just essentially one big coven. I was an outsider.
"Oh, yeah." She confirmed. "We were told all about you, and the amazing things you could do. As a human, nonetheless." I shrugged a little, but she laughed. "And so humble. Well.. On behalf of most of us, let me welcome you here."
"Most?" I asked, intrigued.
"Oh." She waved it off. "There are a handful here that feel a little jealous."
"Who?" I felt a little nervous, but I was also quite interested.
"I won't name names, and I don't like to gossip." She smiled mischievously.
"Between you and me?" I pressed. A giggle bubbled out of her, and I smiled too.
"I can't say.." She insisted. "But between you and me, I would avoid a certain set of twins. They've got the worst set of matching wounded egos, and they're not too thrilled with sharing Aro's sweet spot." Twins? Alec and Jane. That made me a little nervous.
"I'm not after his sweet spot." I replied flatly. "At all. They can have it."
"Chelsea?" We both looked over at Josh's arrival. He seemed confused to see her here.
Her face lit up. "Oh! I'm sorry, Josh. I'm the welcome wagon, but I was just leaving." She looked at me again, taking my hand in both of hers. "Trust me, I know what it's like being on call all the time. It can get quite boring. If you ever need anything, or maybe just someone to talk to, you can usually find me around. Check the tower."
I had no clue where that was, but I nodded anyway. I looked over as Josh approached my side.
"Thanks." I replied to her. "I might take you up on that one day."
"Oh good." She lit up again. "We'd all love the company." All? "You're welcome anytime. I'll see you around, Leandra."
She gave me another warm smile before she turned and walked away. Her steps so light and quick, she almost floated. I looked up at him as soon as the door was closed again.
"She's nice." I noted, glancing down as he took my hand in his. He was so casual with contact.
"She is." He agreed. "I'm just surprised she came here."
"Why?" I asked, my tone joking. "Apparently, I made an impression."
"You must have." He laughed. "She normally sticks around the tower unless Aro needs her."
"What tower?" I had to admit, I was curious.
"The tower Aro and Caius' wives stay." He explained. "She's almost permanently glued to Corin's side, and Corin never leaves the wives."
I hadn't met any wives, but then again, I had only met a few of the guard. There were lots of people I hadn't met yet, so that wasn't weird. I was just a little surprised that Aro was married.
Ew.
"Oh." I understood a little better.
"Anyway." He laughed, changing the subject. "I brought you something."
"You did?" I smiled. How did he surprise me? From his pocket, he pulled out something flat and wrapped. My smile only grew at seeing what it was that he was handing me.
"You have no idea how awesome you are." I laughed a little, eagerly taking the bar of chocolate. "Thank you." I sat back down on my bed, and he followed. He sat with me, watching as I opened it.
"Want some?" I asked jokingly, looking over at him, and he laughed.
"No thanks." He replied. "It's all yours."
"Watching your figure?" I grinned, nudging him.
"Something like that."
I broke off a piece, and wasted no time in eating it. It hadn't been that long since I'd last had chocolate, but it was extremely comforting. I had to admit, too, that it was better than any I'd had before.
"It was either this, or flowers." He smiled.
I hummed in thought for a second. "I can't eat flowers."
"I know."
He still knew me pretty well.
I was mildly surprised as he laid back on my bed with a sigh. Setting my bar of chocolate to the side, I laid back as well. For a solid silent minute, we just laid there, looking up at the stone ceiling. I closed my eyes and smiled. I smiled because I felt his weight next to me again.
"Do you remember?" He asked, and I nodded. I knew exactly what he was referring to. He remembered too.
I opened my eyes and looked over at him, but he was already looking at me. He smiled, nodding me over. I laughed and rolled onto my side, carefully settling myself against his side. His arm landed gently around me, and though it did feel different, this was one of my favorite places in the world.
"I missed you." I mumbled once I was comfortable. The moment was so still, for a second, I just wanted to cry.
"I missed you too." He replied softly.
"More than you know." I added. "Nobody knew it, but I was so afraid when no one could find you."
"Well, I'm here now." He assured me, giving my shoulders a light squeeze. "And look. We never have to leave this spot."
Aside from responsibilities, he was right. We never had to leave. No disapproving parents, or anyone constantly pointing out the difference between us. We never had to leave. We could stay here forever.
That sparked something, though. A hint of suspicion.
Never leave.
I stiffened a little, and he noticed. Before he could ask, I forced myself to sit up. Something wasn't right. My eyes narrowed in a frown at the floor as I thought. Inspecting every bit of that suspicion.
"What's wrong?" He asked, sitting up as well. He read the sudden unease in my expression, concern in his. I really felt unsure. I looked over at him almost apologetically.
"Josh, I can't stay forever." I lowered my voice. "I have a family. The whole reason I came here was to get to you." I didn't like how easily I kept forgetting that.
"I know." He eventually sighed. "They know too, but look around. Give it a chance." That definitely wasn't the answer I was looking for.
"I told them I'd come back." I added, and his sadness was back. "And besides. How am I supposed to give it a chance when I'm stuck in here the whole time?"
"Not the whole time." He corrected. "Just until you can be trusted. It took me awhile to be free to roam too. You'll see. There's more to this place than just Aro. There are people here than can do so many cool things."
"It's not about that for me." I shook my head. "I made a promise."
"Yeah." He replied softly. "You made a promise to Aro, five years and two days ago, and this is you keeping that promise." I was about to argue, but my voice got stuck in my throat, and I looked down. "That promise you made was in motion the second you made it. It's why I'm here. Any promise you made after that one was broken before you made it."
I felt him move, scooting closer and sitting cross-legged in front of me. I sighed, closing my eyes sadly. Was he right? Thinking about it his way, he was right, but I refused.
"That's not how it works." I argued softly. "Not for me. I don't live by technicalities. I meant every word of every promise I made them."
"Yeah." He smiled. "I remember the way you are, but you know, changing your mind isn't against the law." Again, I was about to argue and insist, but he spoke first. "Your time here doesn't have to be miserable. Trust me, it took me a little while to learn that, but I can help you. Give it time. Just.. Help Aro. That's your only job. It can't be that hard."
Honestly, it was exhausting, but it wasn't difficult. All I had to do was stand there.
"Have you met one person yet that didn't welcome you?" He asked.
"But.." I muttered. "My family.."
"They're still out there." He assured me. "You're gonna miss them, but this is a family." He gently took both my hands in both of his, and I looked up. "Trust me."
That was impossible to do, but his voice had gotten so quiet and calm, there was so much reassurance there, that it reached a whole new part of me. He met my eyes and smiled. When I didn't argue, he gently lifted my left hand, and very lightly kissed the inside of my wrist.
The resulting shiver was automatic, and at first I tried to pull my hand away, but he held onto it and smiled again.
"Doesn't that bother you?" I asked, a little concerned.
"You tell me." He replied, meeting my eyes again. I saw no hint of the pain I always saw when I got too close to Mikah. His eyes stayed a very clear crimson. He kissed my wrist again, right above the spot where the veins were most visible.
I shivered again, but I didn't try to pull my hand away again. He wasn't hurting me, and my brain was quickly deciding that it didn't mind the comforting feeling. In a way, what he was doing was amazing. He wasn't bothered at all, and his confidence calmed me down enough to smile a little.
We laid together for several hours. It was the unspoken part I missed so much. He was with me for dinner, and for quite awhile after.
My eyes were closed, just resting in the silence. His arm around me, his hand lightly tracing gentle patterns up and down my upper arm. The longer I stayed there, the easier it was to forget again. Just like it always did, the world stopped.
He didn't seem to be in any hurry either. Still and calm, more and more real. It definitely didn't take me long to consider the fact that I could definitely get used to this. I fought that, though. I was at war with myself. That war only got worse when he had to leave that night and my mind went home as I laid awake.
That impossibly alone feeling came back, and I realized that that was another thing Josh eased. I didn't feel alone when he was there, not only because I wasn't actually alone, but because he fit. He always had, and I was so relieved to find that that hadn't changed either.
Waking up on the third day, the new still-establishing routine was changed a bit. This time, I was given breakfast first, and Josh was the one that brought it. Seeing him first thing in the morning was new, but I definitely wasn't complaining. That was a development I could live with.
I tried so hard to stay guarded. Being so exhausted wore me down, though, and the happiness of Josh's presence was a hesitantly welcome change from the constant sadness and immense weight of grief. As hard as I fought it, I took it.
A/N: This story originally went at a lot faster of a pace lol I've been hard at work, as often as I could be, giving more of a look at her time here. I hope it's not too obvious.
THANK YOU! To my AWESOME reviewers of chapter one. :) I hate to see what's going on in the world right now, and I can't do very much to help, but I can write. I'm really hoping it can be at least a little bit of a distraction.
Chapter three shouldn't take long either. I always get caught up around chapter four, though, so heads up about that. :)
Until three, my friends!