She hated him, despite the fact that the darkness was winning, consuming everything in its path – the darkness that took her husband from her heart, shattering it into pieces that would take such a long duration to place together; the darkness that snatched her two beloved children from her arms, never to see the precious pair of brown and blue eyes, his eyes again; the darkness that crept and demolished the democracy she fought so relentlessly to uphold; the darkness that charred the remaining sense of peace in the galaxy, everything that defined the dear Senator's heart was gone, disappearing with the smile that faded from her face when she fell unconscious, leaving the Jedi Knight with the wailing child in his arms, the man who took them away, the dear friend that killed her husband on the raging pits of Mustafar.
No, she loathed him.
Padmé Amidala had never had these intense emotions nestle themselves in what remained of her heart, and they only simmered as time passed, when she woke to find her children gone – Obi Wan Kenobi disappearing for a day only to return with guilt that sulked into his sub-consciousness, the bulging brown daggers seeping into his back, the eyes that never released any tears.
And the man had never felt so remorseful of himself, so much so, that he felt as if the Force would damn him into some irrevocable hell, the same reality that his former Padawan endured in the throttling pits of Mustafar – but he only thought himself to withstand pain that simmered hotter than a thousand stars, because it seemed that all of this was his fault. Yet that did not seem to be enough, because the eyes that once smiled at him were only full of anguish, the pain that only eroded his heart even more, because he could feel her pain, and it was something that was entirely inexplicable.
A defeated Alderaanian senator and green Jedi Master agreed to separate her children for the sake of the future of the Force – and he also knew, the moment he held both newborns in his arms, one resembling the mother, the other resembling the father, that the Force was calling to them, that it would only be a matter of time, that they were the future to bringing peace to the galaxy.
How, one might ask? He did not know, and only that this thought grazed his mind before he delivered the child to his uncle, only knowing what would happen in his life next.
But even his future was muddled when he gazed out of the window of his spacecraft, his little green friend, Bail Organa, and Mon Mothma standing on the side of the hangar with solemn faces, knowing what must be done for the sake of survival, for their passions of freedom and prosperity to live on for the future generations. But he couldn't tell her, he so desperately wished that he could, yet it would only make everything so much worse.
If that was even possible.
The pain etched into their facial features as they lifted their arms to bid their final farewell, only forcing the auburn haired Master to flip the power switches to ignite the ship to life, all of the controls shimmering and glowing around him – but it was just him up here, his friends watching him leave for the last time, while she did not dare show her face.
She had no absolute reason to. The former queen of Naboo secluded herself in the cockpit, locking the door as she sat in the cold depths of space, horrified, angered, confused at the fact that every aspect of her, all of her passions, the memories, everything that defined her life, that was engraved into her very soul was stripped from her, the remnants resembling something almost completely unrecognizable, and she wondered then why she did not die when they all presumed her to be lifeless.
Only the Force cursed her to live another day.
Leaving the rock world of Polis Massa, the skilled pilot steered around the rocks, watching all of the controls and the flying objects around them on his own, not having little droids or captains assist him. The man wanted to be isolated, yet he had never felt so alone in his life.
He veered left and right, only to have a giant asteroid suddenly pop up in front of him, the Force suggestively warning him of the surroundings to the vastness of space, only to sharply back to the left at a right angle, a manner in which the golden protocol droid's fussy shouts would follow in pursuit as the blue astromech would stammer panicked beeps while both of them would crash into the wall with a metallic thud which one would get an annoying headache from all of the ruckus, but the silence was louder than any other droid that could be shouting seemingly impossible statistics whilst arguing with the other metal counterpart in a series of sassy beeps.
They were not here.
His hands tightly griped the steers, the soreness ripping his muscles as he intently concentrated on the imaginary routes in front of him, darting side to side as sweat began to drip from his brow.
And after several rounds of twists and turns later, there were only stars that decorated the space in front of him, which he revved the hyperdrive to enter the dimension of hyperspace, the streams of light streaming in front of him as the ship hummed, leaving him in a deathly silence.
And for the first time in what seemed like a millennia, Obi Wan Kenobi sat, realizing how sore he truly was, the bandages around his legs and arms tensing around his ligaments, almost as if they were telling him that the wounds of the final battle would heal, but the pain would remain for a long time, something that he did not even know would ever heal.
The woman laid in the small bed in the back of the ship, staring at the ceiling above her, her hands on her still swollen belly that throbbed with the even beats of her heart, her throat still seemingly sore, so much that she had not spoken a word since she was previously conscious, when she said there was still good in him, when she thought that Obi Wan Kenobi would be the last thing she saw in this universe, but the woke to physical and emotional pain, so intense that she could not bear to breathe when she had realized what happened, screaming the children's names when they were then several parsecs away, and she somehow knew it.
She only screamed her children's and husband's names in her sleep.
Both souls were in different rooms of the ship, yet they still felt all of the pain, all of the anguish that swam within them, as if their minds shared their thoughts. But they built walls, so tall that no one could breach them, except each other.
They sat there for a long time – deep in their thoughts, too anxious and exhausted to sleep because they both acknowledged the fact that the nightmares would haunt them once more, something their sanities could not bear. Both looked at the door, wondering what it would be like to walk in and comfort the other, but that action and thought itself was entirely out of the question, because they both felt as if they did not even deserve to be in each other's presence.
As the hours ticked into just over a day, the ship's humming abruptly stopped, taking them to the correct coordinates that the Master entered. As the sore hands grasped the controls again, the dusty outer-rim planet came into view, just as it did so many years ago, the two binary stars brilliantly scorched the reflective sands that blanketed the entire planet itself as the three meager moons protectively guarded it – Tatooine.
But the man decided to merge into the shadows, hidden in the vast darkness of the night sky upon entering the dry atmosphere, not wanting to be spotted. But he was thankful, thankful that he had calculated and planned their departure upon arriving in their night, which the dark rocks of the Jundland Wastes almost camouflaged themselves with the sky, only for the speckles of stars to hint their presence.
Descending from the darkness, the small ship landed with a slight and subtle thud, in which he thanked the Force for their save arrival on the desolate planet, but also slightly quivered at the thought of informing the former senator of their location, for he had not informed her of such things for the sake of her compliance, something that seemed rather questionable until Master Yoda somehow convinced her.
How? He did not know.
Hesitantly moving his sore legs, he paced towards the back, sliding the door with the swiftness of his fingers to reveal the paled woman sitting at the side of the makeshift bed, her face drained and emotionless as the brown eyes managed to find the treacherous blue oceans beaming in his very own and all of a sudden they both felt as if they were back in the space yacht on the salt lands, whilst the wind whistled around them, two young people that only understood the innocence of the light.
The light that was no more.
The man cleared his sore throat, "We have arrived," he paused before continuing, "milady," the word that signified her formality slid off of his tongue, something she always chastised him for even using in the past, but it did not even pertain to her anymore, because she was merely nothing in this galaxy now, only a broken woman.
But she saw the brokenness in him too. She looked up at him again, no words escaping her lips, but she felt the agony in his heart, but also saw it too, the confident stature of someone so powerful now flailed whilst dark crescents shadowed beneath his azure eyes, the strawberry blonde hair disheveled as the man had allowed his beard to grow unevenly. He was a mess. Yet she found herself wondering why she would even be concerned for the man that took everything away from her, allowing the anger to consume her, something, he too, felt.
She brushed past him, walking towards the front of the darkened ship to gaze out the blackened windows, only there was nothing to see, merely due to the fact that it was too dark to take note of the landscape.
Obi Wan thanked the Force once again for prolonging her realization, but soon acknowledged the given the matter in which she would only find out in just several seconds – he had deceived her again.
The woman lifted the hood of her dark cloak over her slick updo, as it shadowed her emotionless, resembling the wretched Sith Lord from the holograms, sending a shiver down the Jedi's spine, not because of the bitter cold air around him.
She knew something was not right the moment he opened the platform, to walk down the slope of the planet, only to have the chilly dry air graze her hollowed cheeks, the characteristics that completely contrasted the warm and humid aromatic winds of Naboo, that would have brought the endearing fragrances of the fresh bloomed flowers and the waterfalls gurgling near the wineries in the distance, all of it so full of life, while the desolation slapped her in the face.
"This is not home," her voice stern and monotone blew with the evening winds, resembling the composure she bore as the Queen of Naboo.
Obi Wan lifted his robes over his head, standing next to her as her eyes scanned the black rocks around the ship, the stars decorating the sky, the dust whistling in the distance, "This is your home now."
He took the only thing I hold dear from my heart away from me too. Her thoughts scream and shout within her consciousness as she then realized that she would never walk through the vivacious green gardens of Varykino, the reflection of her sun on the lakes and waterfalls that splashed, watch the people walk about the bustles of Theed as the flowers budded along the green vines of the walls, the smiles, the joy, the arts, the exquisite beauty of such a quaint planet's efflorescence possessing a special place in her heart, only that it was snatched from her too.
"Nothing belongs to me now," she responded, the coldness of her voice even more frigid than that of the air around them. She walked forward before he could even process what had just occurred, guilt consuming him.
Noticing how far he was from the specified location, he noted the position the ship being out in the open, realizing he'd have to move it within the next twenty four hours or so, to prevent their discovery or having it stolen.
Padmé Amidala waited for him to finish the necessary tasks before walking towards her silhouette that gazed at the lifeless soil, passing her and beginning the trek over to the dwelling. It was too late for her to do anything other than abiding by his plans – for her green friend told her why she must be here.
Plans, the force has, for you and Master Kenobi.
Obi Wan Kenobi noted the brief conversation with his green friend, wondering why she could not join him on the swampy planet of Dagobah, all of the anger, guilt, and confusion that undeniably churned between both of them – yet the ancient master almost smiled at him.
Anger, fear, hate empower the dark side. Useful to the force she has been, is, and will be, just as you.
His words echoed in their thoughts as they climbed over scores of rocks overlooking escarpments, cliffs that rimmed other features that surprisingly adorned the planet.
The walk took longer than he had presumed, quickly transitioning to an arduous hike for the exhausted souls as the elevation and questionable paths directed them towards the mountains in front of them. What seemed like hours of silence and trudging soon passed, the exhaustion prevalent with every exerted breath that escaped their worn lungs, their aching muscles draining after every short climb. For both the former senator and master were still healing from their physical wounds, and solely relied on the Force to give them strength, well the Master shared it with her, even when she did not directly feel it, that was until her weighted legs tripped over a rock, when his arms instinctively found her torso as he held her, their faces inches apart and their choppy breaths steaming their frosted cheeks, brushing their hairs to the sides of their faces.
Only she did not look into his eyes, no, she merely searched, searched in desperation at the expansive bands of the galaxy before her eyes, perilously searching for the beloved Chommell sector of the mid-rim to find her star glimmering in the distant, something so dear and cherished in her heart so severely out of her reach.
Placing her on her feet, she nodded her head as he passed her again, leading her towards the towering features only that there was a gash in the escarpments, as if someone had ripped the planet into two, surrounded by the protective rocks and dunes of endless sand.
He hated sand. She thought.
After more arduous steps and climbs, the sky had begun to lighten, hints of pink and purple tinting of what remained the dark landscape whilst their feet trickled through the gradients and rocks to bear a cliff at the edge of what appeared to be a gorge, an extensive overlook to the sands that swirled with the winds that had died down – early hints of a hot day becoming known.
The woman watched the unsuppressed features of the dry planet while the Master paused his pace, noticing the rocks that blocked what appeared to be the 'cave' his dear friend informed him about, slipping a peak between the cracks of the rocks to find anything inside only that there was darkness.
Closing his eyes and taking three deep breaths, he connected with the spirit of the galaxy allowing its peaceful energy to fill his exhausted body as it greeted him with warmth, warmth that gave him the strength to rile within him. Lifting his hands the woman realized what the man was about to do as the ground under her subtly trembled. Large boulders drifted in the air, into the opening of the canyon as they softly landed, one-by-one until the façade of a cave home was revealed still camouflaged with the rocks themselves.
She had never seen a Jedi move such things so peacefully.
Exhausted the man slightly moved his fingers to slide the metal door to the interior of the hut-like home, lights illuminating with the swift flick of his fingers while the woman followed.
Grabbing the lightsaber on his belt, he realized that he had two, side-by-side, and his heart suddenly sunk with the realization as he checked the home, dusty from its lack of use.
But the woman almost disregarded him as she swiftly passed him, her cloak dancing with her as she found the bedroom and slid the door shut behind her, not to reveal her face for a long duration of time.
Both of them sat once again – separate from each other as they sulked in their own pain while the suns of their first simmering day rose from their slumber, the angled lights illuminating the orange rocks of the house to illuminate a pinkish color. But they felt each other and that was entirely unbearable.
But then it hit her like a herd of banthas – the last time she roamed the planet was with him, when she saw who he truly was, but decided to ignore it for the sake of herself.
And it hit him likewise, for the last time he was here he had the child in his arms, her child to deliver him to safety the safety in which he vowed himself to protect. But something even bigger dawned to him; for he did not associate this dusty and barren planet with the man that brought so much darkness into his life, no, he associated this wasteland with the woman that changed his life – her.
Then suddenly memories dating back to thirteen long years found them again, when a monopoly invaded a beautiful planet, when two Jedi and the Queen narrowly escaped their grasps, when two innocent hearts saw the light and optimism this this universe in the midst of so much darkness, even when the Force led them to such a desolate place. For this instance of darkness and upheaval shed so much radiating light – an older Padawan and a young queen – on the whistling, dusty, desolate sands that scorched the surrounding surface that found something so alive.
Tatooine.