Again, a huge thank you to my beta krut09. Couldn't do this without you, you are a real gem and the saviour of this fic (and ever so patient with my many, many typos!)
2:37
The numbers on his clock glowed in the dark as Zed stared, silent as death. Ghosts of the night whispered on the air, shifting through the shadows around him, only his breathing left to remind him he wasn't as dead as people believed.
2:38
It had taken a long time to walk home after that evening, Zed had barely staggered in through the door, mind racing as he'd thrown himself into the bathroom, cold water splashing on his face as nausea burst in his gut.
Nonononononono.
Not her.
Not Addison.
No.
His chest had heaved, his fingers digging into the cracked porcelain sink. The reflection staring back was haggard, hair falling into his eyes and skin a paler grey than he was comfortable with, the red stark around his eyes. The first cracks beginning to creep down over his cheekbones, as another chip sprang free from the sink, slicing into his finger.
It had taken a full hour to calm down.
Another hour to move out of the bathroom.
And the rest had been spent lying in bed. The events from the day playing in his mind; a crystal clear movie he wanted nothing more than to get away from. But he couldn't, every blink sending flashes searing through his skull, thorns cutting his skin as those damned vines twisted and locked around his body, scratching away at him with agonizing slowness.
2:39
Zed swallowed, his throat dry and eyes itching. He couldn't bring himself to sleep. Not that he'd really tried, but it didn't matter. His appetite was gone, and all he could think about was Addison.
Was he really so selfish?
He didn't think so. He loved her. Loved Addison more than anything. In the universe, he had been lucky enough for her starlight to brush his endless darkness, and she'd somehow chosen to embrace him all the same. He wanted only to see her smile. Make her happy.
Was he really just being selfish?
He had always said no. But...the niggle lingered just out of reach, hovering shadows inches from his flesh that he couldn't see, just barely pressing against his back.
2:40
Zed rolled away onto his back, holding his hands up in the dark, turning them this way and that. They were just hands. The same as everyone else. He curled his fingers into fists, clenching hard enough his knuckles turned white before unfurling them. His eyes stung and his arms fell limp at his sides.
A headache was starting to pulse at his temples. Zed dug his nails into the covers, pulling them tight around himself and turning away from the glowing red numbers on his nightstand. The ticking still clicked over in his head and he groaned, shoving his face into his pillow.
What was he supposed to do?
The laughter rang in his head, the throbbing behind his eyes getting worse as weight built against his chest, forcing him down into the bed. Was he overthinking it? Was he not thinking about it enough? Had he put Addison in danger from the very first time they met? From the second he'd laid eyes on her? Had he doomed her before she even knew it? Or had he saved them both? Brought them into a new age.
The pipes clattered deep in the house.
Zed could feel his throat closing up, curling into himself. He didn't know. He didn't know. He was lost, stranded in the dark as he fumbled, mere inches from a precipice ready to plunge him into inky depths he'd never claw free from. She was waiting for him, her hand outstretched, and he knew it. But he had to find her.
Zed closed his eyes, the blackness enveloping him, and prayed to see starlight.
2:41
The next day, his hands were shaking as he rolled up to the school. Eliza had been bugging him since they'd started walking, but Zed refused to talk about it. Wasn't going to chance anything. Not when Addison was on the line.
Speaking it out loud could make it real.
Whose noose tightened-
He shook his head free of the fog. He wasn't going to let that happen. Addison was everything good in his world. In the world. She was brave and gentle; fierce and kind. A veritable potpourri of contradictions, but in the best way imaginable. She was just everything.
He would protect her. Had to. It was what he was born to do.
To love her. And protect her.
No matter what.
Even if he had to fight off the whole world to do it.
Eliza was talking to him, proudly declaring she'd managed to get another detention for her English essay regarding zombie-phobia and calling out the blatant hatred her teacher had for her, backing her into a corner until she'd screamed for her to go to the Principal. He couldn't understand the joy she got out of it, but if Eliza was happy then he supposed that was all that mattered.
Seabrook High loomed above them, and Zed stopped to take it all in.
It seemed so long ago that they were taking their first steps through those segregated doors.
Now they were there, stood in front of it, and he wondered if anything had really changed.
Had he made a difference at all?
Icy fire licked at his heart, Eliza walking in ahead as he stumbled up the front steps, feeling the stitches of his backpack strap pop and tear under his grip. He was walking forwards, despite the whisper that he ought to be running far away. They both jolted to a stop as a freshman zombie ran past, tears in their eyes and bursting into the ever-present sunshine outside, heading right out the gates. Laughter rang out behind them and they found a gaggle of girls by the lockers, letting several pieces of paper flutter to the floor as they strutted off, sharing high fives and draping across each other.
A smiling zombie woman's face stared at them in fragments from the floor.
She had such vivid blue eyes.
Neither he nor Eliza said another word as they headed for their lockers.
I have to protect her. No matter what it takes.
The morning passed without incident.
Tension thrummed across every inch of his skin, the clock grating on his ears as he waited for something, anything. Justification. He waited for the comments, the whispers. Expected the trips and shoves and sneers. His teeth on edge, Z-band pulsing against his skin.
Zed waited.
And waited.
He'd texted Addison throughout his classes, barely needing to pay attention since he knew his Maths teacher never cared and his Geography grades were good enough he didn't need to listen to whatever she was saying about mountain range formations. Addison was always more important.
His fears began to soothe as she replied, complaining about their dull History project and how she wished they shared more classes because she was missing his cuddles and how it would make Mr. Macnamara's classes so much easier to put up with.
He felt his smile grow larger and larger the longer they talked. She was right; those guys were just idiots. A few mean words. He'd let himself get so worked up, but Addison knew what she was talking about. They would back off sooner or later, it was just their bad luck at the time. But they'd be fine. They were fine; better than fine. They could do anything.
No matter what those neanderthals thought.
It was with a newfound spring in his step that led Zed over to Addison's locker when the bell rang at long last, sharing a high five with one of his football buddies on the way out the class, homework unceremoniously stuffed into his bag in favour of a more pressing issue.
Surprising his girlfriend.
He should never have doubted her to begin with. Students were trickling into the halls for the lunch period as he swerved around them, offering waves and hellos to the ones who recognised him, and simply sidestepping the rest. Of course Addison was right. She always was. His heart hammered just a little harder, biting his lower lip when he turned the corner, his beautiful girlfriend talking to Bree by her locker, her own things seemingly packed away. He sighed.
Still as beautiful as always.
Zed knew he'd never stop being in awe of her.
A chuckle burst from him when someone passed by the pair, whatever they said quickly shot down as Addison snapped back without flinching, not even tearing her gaze from Bree, but her words enough to make the girl cower and rush off with a scowl.
No, he would always be in awe of Addison.
Sneaking through the steadily growing crowds around them, Zed put his finger to his lips as he crept up behind Addison, Bree's eyes widening but staying silent. He held his breath, hovering just behind until Addison raised her arms to gesture as she spoke about the Mighty Shrimp's latest routine.
"Grah!" Zed growled, leaping at her from behind and snatching her to his chest. Addison shrieked and flailed, elbow making contact with his gut even as he nuzzled into her neck, both he and Bree laughing as she struggled for a second longer. "Hi there." He mumbled as she settled down.
"You. Are. The. Worst." She punctuated every word with a barely there smack against his arms, leaving Zed free to hum in agreement, kissing his way up her neck. "Why you insist on doing that, I'll never know…"
"Because you have the best reactions, beautiful." He murmured, kissing her cheek and straightening up. She pouted playfully and he winked. "Even if it means an elbow to the gut on occasion."
Bree was still giggling. "He's got a point, Addy." The two of them shared a look and started laughing again as Addison pouted, whining as she turned and threw her head into Zed's shoulder.
"You're both so mean…" She grumbled, hugging Zed regardless of her complaints. "I need new friends…"
"Whatever you say, gra gargiz." Zed was still chuckling, accepting the swat he got with a kiss to the top of her head. "You ready for lunch?"
"If it means you two will knock it off, then yes. And if not…" she paused, then cuddled closer. "Still yes. I'm hungry."
Zed frowned, looking down. "Tough practice?"
Bree groaned instead, leaning into the locker. "The worst. I swear, the Aceys are just tyrants now that Bucky's gone." Addison was nodding along as she spoke. "They made us practice the entire routine over and over for an hour before we spent another going over the specific parts they weren't happy with."
"Two." Addison's muffled voice chimed in. "It was two hours of specifics." Zed couldn't hold back his wince at that, knowing how hard drilling could be from the practice sessions he'd sat in on.
Bree softened, rubbing Addison's shoulder. Zed frowned her way. "Since Addy's lined up as the next Captain, they keep making her do extra so she's 'up to standards'." She rolled her eyes. "It's beyond stupid."
"Not really…"
"Erm, yes it is!" Bree stomped her foot. "We all know you cheer circles around those dictators! They're just pouty 'cause it took Bucky leaving to get them to the top, when you've been ready since freshman year!"
"Anyway," Zed butted in, leaning out to look down at Addison. "How about we head to lunch, and we can get a power nap in before class starts? We have study hall after, so it won't be too bad to skip out."
"You. Are. Everything." She groaned, squeezing tighter still. He wondered if she had the strength to break his ribs the way she appeared to be trying to hug the life out of him, and laughed.
"You need me to carry you?" He asked, but she shook her head. The two of them stayed like that for a while, swaying side to side a little as Zed allowed himself to melt into the hug that he'd never admit to really needing too. Bree's eyes were fixed on them, and Zed could already see her shaking her head at them without even needing to look. He hummed and pressed his face into Addison's long white hair. "You know we're gonna need to walk to the cafeteria, babe." He mumbled, chuckling as she whined in protest. "That tired, huh?" Zed muttered. "You sure you don't want that piggyback?" He checked.
"...Can walk. Mostly."
His smile seemed like it couldn't stretch any wider as he peeled his reluctant girlfriend off his torso. "Alrighty then. Come on. Food first, then we can nap." He winked as she frowned, mouthing the word 'we' back to him. "You think I'd miss out on a cuddle with you?" Zed whispered, raising her hands and pecking the heel of her hand.
Addison winced.
A spark sprang across the back of his head. "Addy?"
"Sorry. Tired." She mumbled, lowering their hands despite gripping his a touch harder, just for a second. "Let's go. I'm hungry." She tried to pull her hands away again, and another wince flashed over her face.
"What's wrong?" He asked. Just when he thought his smile could never fade, he could feel it clouding over as Addison's jaw clenched. "Did you get hurt at practice?"
"No, not really. Just...over worked, and tired."
Lies. It was more than that. He could tell. Addison was always an open book to him. "Let me see," he urged, turning her hands palm up in his grip. Now he noticed the faint scrapes, barely visible unless you knew to look for them, and already half healed. "A-Addy?"
"Zed, it's nothing," she was trying to pull back. "I strained a couple muscles, an ice bath will fix it. There's no need-!"
He pushed up her sleeve despite her protests.
Black bruising, mottled in shades of black and purple, filled his vision. And the more he looked, the worse it became.
He rolled her uniform back up to her elbows, and the colours continued to spill over her flawless, pale skin. Black and purple, hints of blue and faded yellow and green in places. It looked almost like one of those abstract art pieces, colour blotched and bloomed across white canvas. Small ones, large sprawling stains, there were all manner of shapes and sizes to see.
Some of them looked like fingers.
"It's not as bad as it looks…" Addison said, trying to lift his head.
"What happened?"
"Zed…"
"What happened?" His voice was hoarse. "You're hurt, and...why?"
Addison finally raised his head, cradling his cheeks until he would look her in the eye. "It's just Seabrook being Seabrook. I promise. A bunch of idiots who don't like me being me, or the fact that you make me feel happier than I've ever been." She rolled her eyes. "My hair is apparently a sign I'm an abomination destined for hell, and our relationship is disgusting and no human should ever be within ten feet of a zombie, blah blah blah." She sighed. "They wouldn't understand love if it threw itself at them and bit them on the nose."
"Y-Yeah…"
No human should ever be near a zombie.
"Zed?"
He shook free of the fog misting the edge of his vision. "Huh?"
She sighed, grabbing his hands and placing them around her waist, Zed pulling her tight without hesitation. "Listen to me." She said, voice so stern he obeyed without question. "Those people? They don't matter. They don't. They're just hateful jerks who can't stand the fact that I'm pro-zombie, and that I'm pro-integration, and want everyone to be treated with respect, and I'm right. They hate it. And they're lashing out at anyone who's like me, like us." She waved a lock of her hair in his face. "I'm just a particularly easy target to find."
Target.
I'm pro-zombie.
I'm a target...they're lashing out...
"Addy...you can't…" he shook his head. "This is my fault."
"Don't you dare." She hissed, gripping his hands so tight they turned white around the edge of her fingers. "Don't even think that, not for one second Zed Necrodopolis." She snapped. "This is not your fault. This had nothing to do with you."
"How can you say that?" He asked.
The fight drained out of her in seconds. "Because you didn't make those guys come after me. You didn't fill them with hate, or rage, or whatever bullshit they've got going on." Her palm slid to his cheek, and he couldn't tear his eyes from her arm as her sleeve slid back, exposing the darkened, angry looking skin once more. Her words became muffled.
Girls like her look so pretty when they cry.
A succession of quick, light taps to his cheeks drew the fog away to the edge of his vision, Addison's face filling his view instead. "There you are." She whispered. "I was worried I'd lost you for a second."
"Never." He croaked.
She smiled, though it wasn't as bright as normal.
Your fault.
"I'm glad. Because I'm not going anywhere, Zed." She said, her eyes so blue he felt like he was drowning. "I'm not. This is going to pass. We're strong enough to get through it. We can get through anything. Together." She looked down at her shoes. "I know you're scared. Scared of what they might do, and...it scares me too. The thought of you being hurt, and because of me? God, I'd rather die. But…" Addison gave a full body shudder. "We can't let that control us! Then they win! I believe in you, and everything we're working for." She gripped his arm in a tighter hold than he'd expected. "Don't you?"
"Y-Yes, but…"
"No buts. No more."
"Yes more!" It was like a switch was flipped, the words exploding out of him. Even Addison reared back. "I...this is my fault! I can't not think about it! Not now! You- those are bruises Addison. Those people laid hands on you and...it's my...it's my…"
"Zed…" her mouth was moving but he couldn't hear the words. The fog was creeping back, everything cast in shades of grey.
What have I done?
What have I done?
The words echoed and bounced around his head all through lunch. Addison had stopped talking to him a while ago, or at least stopped trying to bring him around. He wasn't sure exactly how, but they'd ended up in the cafeteria together.
She'd perched on his lap, kissing his cheek while their friends appeared. He didn't know when they got there, but the table was full so their classes must have finished at some point. In the back of his conscious, he noted Bree and Bonzo were way more affectionate than usual, and Addison was engaging in way more PDA than they usually risked.
It's a risk just being near a monster.
The black vines had choked him into silence, pushing his food around. It felt like each limb was coated in tar, viscous and thick as it dragged him down and rooted him in place, forcing silence and stillness into every pore.
What have I done?
The only clear part of his vision were those bruises. Purple and blue and black, mottled across Addison's wrists and god knows where else. Each time her sleeves shifted, he'd see them. So vibrant against the grey of the world. He wondered what her hands had looked like before he saw them. Were the scrapes deep? Had it been painful? Had there been anyone to patch her up?
What had even happened to her?
It could have been a gang. They'd popped up in recent months. Restoration groups, they called themselves; wanting to put back the 'natural order of the world'. In reality it was just thugs and bullies who wanted an excuse to be exactly that; thugs and bullies. Intimidation and violence weren't uncommon where they were concerned.
Had they got to Addison?
Or what about something smaller? Their peers weren't all exactly friendly; it depended who you found if you'd be greeted with a handshake or a slap. Equality supporters and Restoration fanatics clashed more than once in the halls. Zed could still remember when that big fight had broken out a couple weeks back. More than one kid had come back to school in a cast after that, zombie and human alike.
He'd been terrified when Addison had jumped into the fray to settle it.
His hand ran up and down her back as she sat on his knee, playing with his hair as she chatted with all their friends. Eliza kept stopping and staring at him, her lunch also abandoned, but he couldn't find anything to say to her. How could he? She wouldn't understand.
Another flash of black and purple filled his vision as Addison shifted, leaning in closer.
What have I done?
This was his fear. He never wanted her to be hurt. Not because of him. And that's exactly what had happened. It didn't matter she was pro-equality. It didn't matter she'd been to every protest for the stupid monster laws. Didn't matter she'd taken on the whole debate squad when they asked if they should still ban other monsters from Seabrook and make zombies the exception (and won, a thrilled Eliza had assured him). None of that was important. Because the only reason Addison ever got involved in that was because of him.
When they'd met, he'd pushed her into it all.
Into the conflict.
Into the danger.
She ripped off her wig because of him, exposed herself for his sake. She'd been completely safe before then, nothing could have touched her. Her Mom was the Mayor. Her Dad was the Chief of the Z-Patrol. She'd been the safest girl in Seabrook.
He took that all away from her.
The thoughts plagued him all throughout the school day. No one came after him, but they didn't need to. They'd already shattered his heart. They'd stolen all willpower from him, sapped the energy from his limbs and sucked the air from his lungs until he was just a gasping, hollow husk muddling through the hours. Not even Eliza had been able to break the fog as it coalesced around him, her shouting incoherent noise on the way home, and her softly spoken words incomprehensible, leaving him staring blankly before he turned and went inside, dragging himself up to bed and throwing himself down atop the covers to stare at the ceiling in utter silence.
What have I done?
The night had descended so suddenly.
Without realising, Zed's room had fallen into the black of night, the moon and stars gone as his curtain fluttered in the breeze, window still cracked open.
He sat up, leaning heavily on his knees as he tried to avoid the ache spreading down his back and up his legs, tension tight across his lungs.
Zed didn't know how long it took him to get up, time irrelevant to the gnawing on his gut and slither across his skin as he shut the cold air out with a sharp bang, wood slamming against wood and rattling the glass in the pane. His breath misted, blotting out a haggard reflection.
Light burst to life behind him.
A text message:
Hlep me
His blood ran as ice.
Scrambling to pick up the device, Zed punched the call button.
It cut off.
He called again.
It cut off.
His fingers tightened around it as another text, more garbled than the last, burst through.
Another second passed.
And he was out the door.
The streets were even darker than normal as he raced past the houses he'd known all his life. They all blurred together, the same doors flashing by again and again as he tried to contact Addison over and over.
He skidded around a corner and crashed to the floor, feet slipping from underneath. The air burst from his chest in a single pained gasp, gravel digging into his palms as Zed forced shaking arms to push him up.
The world fell away to murky shadows.
Addison was being held up by faceless men, a whole hoard surrounding her. She was bleeding, a gash cut into her cheek and her hair falling around her face, head hung low as punch after punch was driven into her stomach, leaving her gasping and spluttering, hacking against the blows and laughter echoing in the air. Her phone lay abandoned on the ground nearby.
"A-Addison…!" It hurt to breathe, and his arms gave out before he could stop them, body resolute and unmoving despite the screamed commands inside his head.
Addison choked as one of them smacked her hard enough to send her head snapping around, blood trickling from her mouth as her chin was grabbed and she was wrenched up with a pained cry.
"You proud, Necro?" Zed could hear their words clear as day. "You still love your precious monster now? You still proud to be a fucking freak?"
"I...I…" She could barely stutter, sounds garbled as blood seeped from her lips.
Another punch landed on her face, her head swinging back down and eyes flickering shut for the briefest of seconds. Zed was clawing at the gravel, willing himself to stand up, to stand up and move. But nothing would happen.
"The answer is no, bitch." One of them spat at her, and a frightened whimper escaped Addison, tearing Zed's heart to shreds. "We've been at this for a while now. No one's coming to save you."
I am. I'm here, Angel. I'm here, I promise.
Silver flashed in the dark. One of them had a pocket knife, twisting it this way and that. "Might as well put you out of your misery…" Without warning, the silver swished through the air.
And plunged into Addison's torso.
A scream tore itself from Zed's throat as bloodshot blue eyes snapped open wide, more red spilling down her chin, slow trickles growing faster and faster. The man had his back to Zed, as he ripped the knife out. Red blossomed on her pale blue shirt.
And then it slammed back into her.
"Doing us all a favour, Princess." He sneered as Addison choked, twitching in their grasp. Zed roared as the blade was twisted deep, Addison twitching uncontrollably as the red spread farther and farther over her front. "You'll see. It's all for the best." And with that, the knife was dragged out again. Silver painted with ruby gleamed in the little light they had.
Addison was dropped in a crumpled heap on the floor, the men all but melting into the shadows, leaving only laughter behind. Zed's gaze followed only his girlfriend, as she lay curled onto her side, the scent of copper and life heavy in the air, one arm sprawled out across the floor, palm up like she was waiting for something. Someone.
Life burst into Zed, fire burning in his core as he dug deep and snapped through the restraints his body caged him with.
And he ran.
He ran so fast, his legs burned and his muscles screamed, throat raw as roars burst from deep inside, his veins pulsing and every cell seared in acid agony.
The air felt like treacle as he forged towards her.
Hurry.
Hurry.
Hurryhurryhurry.
He was by her side, catching Addison as she choked and spluttered, chest heaving as the red- there was already so much- spread around her, lifting her up and onto his lap. A retch tried to heave out of his throat, sending his chest into spasms at the red blooming over her shirt, a crimson blossom coating her torso, already so dark, and sticky as he felt out across to try and help. But he didn't know how. He didn't know how. The streets were empty, and help was so far away, he'd never make it in time.
Her eyes were fluttering, slivers of blue beneath her lids. "Zed-!"
"I'm here, I'm here Princess, I promise." He swore, stroking through her hair with bloodstained fingers. "We're going to be alright. It's alright."
"Hurts…" she looked up, blinking sluggishly. "Why?"
"I don't know. They're monsters Addy. I'm sorry, but it'll be alright." But there was so much red, coating the ground, seeping through his jeans, covering everything. He didn't know what to do; how to make it slow, make it stop. He wracked his brains for something, anything, to stop it. To save it. Save her. She was already so pale, trembling as her lips tried to form words.
"Why did you do it?" And just like that, it all started to crumble. Zed looked down, blood spilling from between her lips as she coughed. "Why, Zed? What...did I do...why?"
"Addy? Addy, I...I didn't…" tears were already falling as he grasped her hand. "I wouldn't hurt you, Addy I swear, I wouldn't-"
"You did." The crimson was dripping down her chin. His arms were being soaked, red tracks slowly taking over where pale grey flesh had once been. "You did." He was shaking his head, in fact his whole body was shaking. "I...needed you...and you...hurt me." Red splattered her face as she coughed. "Zed…"
"I don't understand." He choked. "I didn't, Beautiful, I promise! I love you! I would never! I love you! I love you."
"You did." Each time she said it it hurt a little more. "You let them...I saw." Her chest was heaving as he pulled her closer. "You stood by...and they were hurting me...you wanted me to…" No. He wanted to throw up. Wanted to blot it all out, but her voice was persistent in his ears, the pain clawing at his heart. "You left me to die, Zed. I don't understand...I don't understand...what did I do...why did you...why...why…"
"Addy? Addy, please," her lashes were fluttering, and her body was getting heavier in his arms. "Addy, please, hold on. Hold on, I didn't- I love you, I wouldn't- Addy please, just wait and I'll fix this. I love you, please...please…"
"Wh...y…" her blue eyes were hazy as they sought out his, finally meeting his gaze with effort he didn't want to think about. "I thought...you loved me." She choked out.
She went limp.
"A-Addy...I...Addy…" he brushed her hair from her eyes. Bright blue eyes, the depths of the oceans dulled to hard ice. The glazed blue reflected his own tear streaked face, staring far past him.
No.
No.
Please.
The world faded to black, darkness absolute as the floor collapsed and Zed fell away to nothing.