Whoooooo! I was about to give up on this project, but Groundon, mah boi, you gave me hope! Now, this will be an admittedly short chapter, but, who knows, maybe I'll throw in my own dares. Alright, so this wasn't really liked by you guys, I think, but, enjoy!
It was almost noon in the lakeside cabin, and, luckily for the Naruto cast, there had been no dares. Yet. Ender and Kurenai were, unfortunately, still in their new personality states, and were constantly bickering. Shiffna was sitting on one of the couches, the always lit fire roaring beside him. Tinny music played from his ear buds as he scrolled through something. His eyes widened and he jumped up.
"Yes, Groundon, mah boi, you pulled through, thank you!" Shiffna started hopping up and down excitedly, before he took another look at the laptop. "Oh, and you brought your helium fetish, yes!" The last part bewildered everyone. For a brief moment of clarity, Ender snapped out of his new personality.
"Oh, that guy… he's the first one to review… well, whoever gets pumped full of helium, Rest in Pepperonis," Ender said before he reverted back to his new personality.
"Wait, pumped full of-" Naruto was cut off violently as Shiffna snapped, putting everyone underwater. Luckily, they could still breathe.
"No point in not starting now. I'm bad at introductory sequences anyway," Shiffna said his voice perfectly clear. "Anyway, Cthulhu! C'mere boy! If you're wondering why I'm acting like Cthulhu is a dog, don't ask, it's easier," Shiffna cast a sideways glance at the hypothetical camera before a large shadow began to appear on the horizon.
"Uh, what's that?" Hinata asked, hiding behind Naruto.
"Oh, Naruto has to fight that thing," Shiffna said.
"WHAT!? ARE YOU CRAZY!?" Naruto yelled.
"Maybe… but relax, I'll age you up to your old self, and you can use Kurama," Shiffna said. The figure slid to a stop, giving the group a very good look at it. It had the body of a human, the head of an octopus, and bat wings.
"I don't wanna fight that thing!" Naruto yelled. Shiffna snapped, and immediately Naruto was aged up. Shiffna stepped back with the rest of the group and put up a barely seeable barrier.
"3… 2… 1… GO!" Shiffna did his best interpretation of the announcer's voice from Smash, and Cthulhu let out a roar. Naruto activated… well, everything, to even give him a fighting chance. He began to charge up a powerful Rasengan, but began to… deteriorate, would be the best word.
"N-Naruto… what are you doing," Hinata asked, pressing up against the barrier. Shiffna smiled, snapped, and took a handful of the crunchy popcorn that had now appeared.
"Wh-what's h-happening to me!" Naruto screamed, before a flying tentacle pierced him in the heart.
"NARUTO!" Hinata screamed, while everyone else either looked like they were about to puke, or scream, or fight, or all three. Shiffna began to spin around, cackling. Hinata, tears flowing down her face, turned on him.
"Why would you do that!?" Hinata's normally quiet and strong voice cracked.
"Hey, hey, in my defense, that was Cthulhu's doing. Thanks bud!" Shiffna waved Cthulhu off, who left with a roar. "*ahem* Now, we need to go back to the cabin. Let's go!" Shiffna opened a portal this time.
"Wait, why are we going through a portal?" Shikamaru asked.
"Cause we're cutting to another segment," Shiffna answered simply.
0-0-0-0-0
The disgruntled and pained Naruto stumbled into the broken down dive bar, where he found a plethora of odd figures, such as the group in the back playing a card game, one of them with a small mustache, the other with some sort of towel around his head, yet another looking similar, but not similar to Naruto. He had squinty eyes and was large, but he looked to be of the same race as him. At the bar, two men were having a heated discussion, one of them dressed in grey cotton clothes, the other in a sharp suit. They both looked very important and somewhat regal, but the most interesting thing was the dressed in all-white human behind the bar drying glasses, looking annoyed as an older man in an orange suit threw compliments at him. Oh, and then Naruto noticed the wings behind the human… confusedly, Naruto stepped closer to the counter. The angel's eyes lifted and leveled on Naruto with a confused look.
"Uh… you must be new here, right? Uh, anyway, what can I get ya?" The angel asked.
"Uh, are you Pit? Shiffna told us about you," Naruto asked.
"Uh… 14shiffna… how do you know him?" Pit asked.
"Oh, uh, my name's Naruto. Shiffna killed and kidnapped me and some of my friends for a Truth or Dare game. He said if we ever come down here, look for an angel named Pit," Naruto said.
"Ah, I get it… okay, well, tell him I send my regards. And uh… thanks for not being too much of a sadist to me," Pit whispered the last part to Naruto.
"Oh don't worry Pit, you're next on my list," Shiffna disappeared from the counter almost as suddenly as he appeared, leaving with a chilling chuckle. He left Pit whimpering and Naruto spooked.
"Well, anyway… what can I get ya?" Pit asked.
"Hm… an uh, Sunrise Tequila?" Naruto asked.
"Sure, coming right up," Pit said.
0-0-0-0-0
Shiffna stepped back through the portal he had made, and cleared his throat.
"Sorry, just had to go and spook Pit a bit. Anyway, next dare," Shiffna snapped and a pump appeared in his hands. He tossed it to Hinata, who caught it and fumbled, before eventually just dropping it.
"Did we revive Neji yet? Hang on," Shiffna's body went gray as he seemed to disconnect from the reality. Shiffna came back a moment later after traveling backwards in time to see if Neji was there. "Alright, so we haven't revived him yet… be right back," Shiffna said, before opening a portal of pure light and stepping through. A moment later, a body flew through the portal, screaming, and hit the kitchen countertop.
"NEJI!" Hinata rushed over to her brother to check if he was alright.
"I'm okay Hinata… Hinata?" As his eyes finally comprehended the sight, and he saw the others, a small smile broke out on his face. Hinata fell into a hug on Neji before helping him up. Shiffna let everyone have their moment before clearing his throat again.
"Alright, Hinata, your dare is to pump Neji, Sasuke, and yourself with helium," Shiffna said.
"Um, who are you?" Neji asked.
"Long story short? I killed everyone here and brought them here to play Truth or Dare, as submitted by perverted FanFiction reviewers. I brought you back for a dare, but I'm sure there will be more dares for you later on," Shiffna said.
"Not on my watch," Neji said, before activating his Byakugaan.
"Yawn," Shiffna said before snapping and opening a portal to Super Hell under Neji's feet. Neji popped back out a moment later, visibly shaken.
"Ya still wanna fight?" Shiffna asked, to which Neji hurriedly shook his head no. "Good. Hinata, start pumping," Hinata reluctantly stuck the pump in Neji's mouth, who, I forgot to mention, is his kid self. They're all their kid selves. I think it's funnier that way.
"Sorry Neji," Hinata said as she started to pump. Neji kept his regular form, but he began to float into the air.
"Woah, this is weird… and what's up with my voice!" Neji said, as his voice got higher in pitch. Hinata did it to Sasuke next, who was very against it, but didn't want to go to Super Hell. And finally, Hinata did it to herself, leaving us with three floating bodies.
"Sasuke, what's it like up there?" Sakura asked, but there was no response.
"Sasuke?" Shikamaru asked.
"Wait, hold up," Shiffna opened a portal and stepped through.
"HEY! That's my pulse sensor!"
"Chill, chill, I'll give it back, Jesus,"
"INTRUDER ALERT! INTURDER ALERT!" Alarms went off and the sound of bullets whizzed through the air. Shiffna jumped through and closed the portal behind him hurriedly. He heaved a sigh and took the device and flipped down the camera. Looking at Neji, Hinata, and Sasuke thoroughly, he then put up the camera, reopened the portal, and tossed the device in.
"There assholes!" Shiffna yelled as he closed it. "*ahem* Anyway, it would appear Sasuke, Hinata, and Neji are dead," Shiffna said with ease.
"Wait what!?" Was the general reaction.
"Yeah, uh, helium kills you if you take too much of it… who knew… bah, we need Sasuke back at least, we'll bring 'em all back," Shiffna snapped his fingers and all three of them took a deep breath.
"We're alive!" Hinata squeaked. Sasuke began to float back to the ground.
"What the…?" Sasuke stared at the ground and listened to his voice as everything went back to normal.
"We need you for another dare, so, you get off the hook for now," Shiffna said.
"Next order of business, Choji… wait, hang on," Shiffna opened yet another portal and stepped through. "Ted!"
"Jesus Christ Shiffna! The fuck do you want!?"
"Are you doing a Session right now?"
"No, why?"
"I need to borrow Kirby,"
"Uh, sure, go ahead,"
"Thanks," Shiffna closed that portal and opened another, stepping through and coming back with a pink puffball with eyes and a mouth.
"Alright, Choji, you're gonna have an eating contest with this thing," Shiffna said.
"Aright, easy win for me!" Choji said. Shiffna then turned to the camera.
"Foreshadowing. I'ma twists this a little Groundon, alright? *ahem* Loser goes to Super Hell," Shiffna said.
"Aw man, now I feel bad about sending this little guy to Super Hell," Choji said.
"I could just send you straight there now," Shiffna said.
"I'm alright, survival of the fittest, y'know? No hard feelings, right little guy?"
"Poyo!"
"Alright, let's get ready," Shiffna put down Kirby and clapped, creating a stage with two small tables, Choji at one, Kirby at the other.
"Alright ladies and gentlemen, we are here at the first ever 14shiffna ToD Eating Contest. Our competitors are Choji Akimichi, and Kirby… he doesn't have a last name, whaddya want me to say, puffball?" The invisible crowd roared earsplittingly loud, and startled the actual, visible spectators.
"Alright, for Round one, the competitors will be eating… drum roll please… pizza!" A mound of pizza was spawned in front of each competitor, and their mouths watered at the sight.
"Ready… Set… GO!" Shiffna let his arm fall, and Choji began to shovel pizza into his mouth. His eyes fell to his side as he heard a sucking sound, and they widened when they saw Kirby literally inhaling the pizzas. As a result, Choji hands went into auto drive, matching Kirby's speed. It came down to the last pizza, and Kirby, in the nick of time, inhaled his last slice, and gave a burp. The invisible crowd roared once again as Kirby smiled and waved.
"Round two, our competitors will be eating… Bean Boozled Jelly Beans! Only the flavors are a thousand times better or worse," Kirby whined as he thought back to what had happened to him before, but brightened a bit at what Shiffna said next.
"But, only one competitor will get the good ones. The other will get all the bad ones," Shiffna said.
"Sounds easy, gimme a real challenge," Choji said. Shiffna smirked, and snapped, putting two bowls in front of Choji and Kirby.
"Ready… Set… GO!" Shiffna let his arm fall again and Kirby and Choji both took a tentative bite of one jelly bean. Kirby's eyes lit up and he began to inhale the Jelly Beans, meanwhile Choji gagged and grimaced. Squeezing his eyes shut, Choji began to shovel mouthfuls of the Jelly Beans in, the taste getting worse each bite and handful. Eventually, the last Jelly Bean was eaten, and Choji earned the point for Round Two. Choji smiled, raised his arm weakly, then leaned over the side and puked, violently.
"Alright, well, on to Round three. Both competitors will be eating… Carolina Reapers! Let's not prolong this any longer, Ready… Set… GO!" Shiffna's arm fell and both competitors took a tentative bite. Kirby turned entirely red, and went through a flashy transformation, turning him into Fire Kirby. The mysterious voice that had taken over as narrator disappeared, as Shiffna shooed away the Kirby anime Meta Knight. Choji's mouth lit on fire, and flames spewed forth, but both of them continued to eat. Finally, on the last pepper, Kirby inhaled his, but Choji couldn't finish his last.
"The point goes to Kirby! On to Round four-"
"How many more rounds are there," Choji whined.
"This one and then one more… anyway, Round four, both competitors will be eating… uh, let's say some bugs," Shiffna snapped and two plates with hundreds of bugs on them appeared in front of the two competitors. Choji and Kirby both groaned as Shiffna started the match. Both of them took a tentative bite, but only Kirby seemed to somewhat like the bugs. He half-heartedly inhaled the whole thing, leaving Choji in the dust.
"And the score is three to one! Oh man, sorry Choji, but even if you win this next round, you're going to Super Hell. Anyway, Round five, our competitors will be eating this cactus," Shiffna snapped and two plants appeared in front of Kirby and Choji.
"Uh, okay?" Choji said.
"Ready… Set… GO!" Shiffna's arm fell and Choji took a bite. Immediately his mouth was hurting, like something was stabbing it in multiple places. Choji spat it out, violently coughing. Kirby just inhaled the damn thing, and went through another transformation, turning him into-
"Spike Kirby," Anime Meta Knight said, appearing at the door again.
"Meta Knight, shoo, you're cool and all, but go, please," Shiffna said.
"Apologies," Meta Knight Dimensional Cape'd away. Choji was groaning on the floor, and as Shiffna stepped over him to get to Kirby, groaned even more.
"We have a winner!" The invisible crowd roared as Shiffna held up Kirby's stub of an arm. "Choji, come on up here and face your punishment like a man," Shiffna said. Painfully, Choji stood up, before puking all over the table. "Let it out… let it all out," Shiffna said, rubbing Choji's back like a mother. Eventually, Choji stopped and Shiffna continued. "Anyway, like I said, the loser goes to Super Hell. Have fun Choji," Shiffna said. As Choji sunk into the portal, dragged down by the souls of the Damned, Choji flipped off Shiffna. Shiffna chuckled before turning to the camera.
"Groundon, if this didn't go the way you liked it, or any of your other dares, I'm sorry. This is my first ToD fic that actually got some dares (the last time I tried this it was with Avengers), but, I hope you enjoyed my spin of things," Shiffna said. "Now, we cut to the next segment,"
0-0-0-0-0
Choji stumbled into the bar filled with the dead people and saw Naruto and a winged person having a lively chat at the counter. Stumbling over, Choji slumped into a seat next to Naruto.
"Wow, Choji, what happened to you?" Naruto asked.
"This one of your friends?" The angel asked.
"Yeah, this is Choji," Naruto responded. "Choji, this is Pit, the angle bartender Shiffna told us to look for if we ever came down here,"
"Ohhhhhh," Choji said.
"Anyway, what happened to you?' Naruto asked.
"Well, I had to have an eating contest with some alien named Kirby," Choji said.
"Oh, ohoho, man, I feel bad for you," Pit said.
"You know him?" Choji asked.
"Yeah. Here, let me explain. Me and Kirby are not from the same world, but we are in the same tournament. You see, there's this tournament/universe defense force called the Super Smash Brothers, where heroes and villain, such as me and my Goddess, Lady Palutena, and my clone/brother Dark Pit, or Kirby and his mentor Meta Knight and King Dedede, or people like Mega man, Mario, Link, Zelda, Ganondorf… do you know them?" Pit asked as Naruto and Choji stared at him with confused looks. "Hm… alright, then I guess our universes are different… anyway, us all, heroes and villains alike, duke it out on maps or different landmarks from our worlds, to see who is the best. It's always really awesome, and a great way to establish ties with people who don't even come from your world. Oh man, I can't tell you how many interesting people I've met… okay, well, some of them are just plain scary…" Pit trailed off a moment and shuddered as a certain purple dragon flashed in his mind's eyes. "Anyway, I'm rambling. Me, Kirby, and this guy named Ike, and one other guy named Wario are known as the Big Four, and by Big Four, I mean Big Four Eaters. We've had countless eating competitions, and the winner is always different. Anyway, the point I'm getting at is, Kirby has a literal universe for a stomach. No kidding, I've been in it outside of matches, he has a literal universe," Pit rambled a moment before Naruto stopped him.
"Wait, then why are you down here?" Naruto asked.
"Oh, well lately, we've been kidnapped by this guy named Ted, and he's been forcing us to do Truth or Dare. Actually, 14shiffna is a prominent darer for us, and he's kinda sadistic… and perverted somewhat. A-anyway, Ted is where he probably got the idea to do a ToD with you guys. But the reason I'm down here is because of a dare. I had to make a deal with the devil, or Ted, and as a result, I ended up loaning my soul, so while one of the regular worker demons here is on vacation, I'm here, and I work the night shift. Super Hell is Ted's place, Shiffna's probably just borrowing it," Pit explained.
"That was a chunk," Naruto said.
"And it's gonna be a bitch to transcribe," Shiffna said, appearing suddenly at the countertop again. "Alright, go back to what you all were doing, talk to you guys later," Shiffna said before snapping open a portal and stepping through.
0-0-0-0-0
Shiffna stepped back through the portal and cleared his throat. "Alright, let's get moving to the next dare," Shiffna said. Sasuke, you get to let out some rage that may have been burdening you. You get to kill the council members who ordered Itachi to destroy the Uchiha!" Shiffna said.
"But… why? I've let go of that rage and I understand why Itachi did it. Besides, Danzo is already dead," Sasuke protested.
"Hm… yeah, I guess you're right. Plus, I really don't wanna have to transcribe a fight scene. I suck at 'em… Hm… alright, sorry Groundon, I think I'm gonna have to skip this one, sorry mate. Sasuke brings up some good points. I guess we'll just do these last few dares then call it a day," Shiffna said. Shiffna then snapped, teleporting the group to the edge of a volcano.
"Okay, Sai, jump into this," Shiffna said.
"Are you crazy?" Sai asked.
"… I always say maybe, but, yes, definitely, I am crazy," Shiffna said. "Listen, there's no point in trying to not do this dare, either way you'll end up in Super Hell," Shiffna said.
"Okay, nope, my husband is not jumping into a volcano!" Ino said, standing in front of Sai.
"I have something for you, so chill," Shiffna said.
"Sai, what'll be? Here, actually, think of it this way, you don't do this, Groundon will probably keep daring people to do this," Shiffna said.
"Wait, so that helium thing was a one-time deal… right?" Hinata squeaked, being held onto by Shikamaru with Neji being held onto by Sakura.
"Oh no, that's Groundon's fetish, you can expect much more of that," Shiffna said.
"Alright, fine, I'll jump," Sai said.
"Okay. By the way, you return to bed every morning, so, find some solace in that maybe?" Shiffna said.
"Thanks," Sai rolled his eyes before hopping off the ledge, a lot more suddenly than everyone expected.
"Is it just me, or has the pacing kinda… slowed down?" Shikamaru asked.
"Oh, it definitely has. I've been working on this damn thing since like, noon. It's 4:30 now. I'm getting lazy. Okay, Sakura, you can no longer hit Naruto… I might disable that sometime. Ino, you're now a chicken,"
"Wait what-" Ino was cut off as there was a pop and poof of smoke and now in her place was a chicken. Ino looked around strangely and tried walking. While she was distracted, Shiffna picked her up, and tossed her over the edge of the volcano.
"INO!" Hinata yelled.
"The Hell did you do that for!?" Sakura yelled.
"Uhm, because she wanted to be with Sai?" Shiffna answered.
"Bullshit," Shikamaru said.
"… I'm too tired for this shit anymore. Alright, we're gonna leave it there. Let's go home," Shiffna snapped open a portal and the remainder of the Naruto cast followed.
Again, terribly sorry that this probably didn't play out the way you wanted it Groundon. Bob and Ted are better and I will never top them, trust me. But, if you want to keep reviewing, go right ahead. I loved writing this! And that goes for anyone else. We could have much more fun chapters if you all just review, please, I beg of you. I'll take as many reviews as I can, but if you review and don't get featured in the next chapter, apologies, I just couldn't get to you. Anyway, hope you all liked it, I'm gonna go see if I can play on mah Xbox. Peace!