Thank you so much to everyone for your kind reviews and for taking the time to read, It's really sweet of you all and I truly appreciate it. =)
It took me awhile to get out of my shock of losing my job and my apartment following the pandemic and I sure as hell hope all of you are staying safe ! Stay inside and don't hoard TP and food and hang in there 3
This is all me, warning because it's kinda super cheesy but hear me out. I live in a different country from my entire family (by choice, and it's been over 10 years, but still). And I miss them dearly. Especially in those situation. I also lost my mother 9 years ago and a few days ago was her birthday... So I need me some fluff.
I suck at timelines so discrepancies are also all mine. And not that In my universe Sharon Raydor had a heart transplant, which she recovered from because she is Sharon Raydor (Flynn). There's a bit of Shandy fluff because they're too damn cute.
Some warning for mention of child abuse (Rusty's past), violence (mentioned) and drug abuse (mentioned)
Here goes nothing!
The week following Rusty's request seemed to go by quickly.
Sharon had talked to Andy about the young man's wish for his birthday, and Andy had been nothing but understanding.
He and Rusty had an amiable relationship. Not quite father and son, but not estranged either.
It had taken Rusty some time to warm up to the idea of the lieutenant dating his mother. Mainly because he didn't trust people as a general rule, but also because he always felt protective of Sharon.
His concerns over Sharon losing interest in being his mother as she moved forward with her relationship with Andy turned out to be unfounded, and he almost laughed at how ridiculous it sounded, now a few years down the road.
As time went by, Andy and Rusty found common ground as two important member of Sharon's family and as such, it made them family.
The detective envied Sharon's relationship with her children. He knew he'd made plenty of mistakes with his own, and he was in awe of Sharon's devotion and endless love and support for her brood.
He had told Rusty long ago, that he knew Sharon and Rusty were a packaged deal, he wouldn't want it any other way either.
Rusty had told Sharon he would tell Gus himself. She had always pushed and insisted on him fighting his own battles and standing on his own two feet, and as hard as it was at times, he was working hard on handling what he could himself. Gus had been happy to let him do this with Sharon and they had plans on going away for a birthday getaway the following weekend.
A soft knock on the door barely stirred him from his sleep. Soft light entered the room as quiet steps could be heard. He felt a weight next to him on the bed, followed by a hand softly brushing his messy hair.
"Rusty honey?"
He groaned.
"Well good morning to you too, birthday boy". Sharon said, laughing softly.
Rusty slowly open his eyelids and his vision focused on the woman sitting on his bed. Sharon smiled and her hand brushed his cheek.
"23 years old. I can't believe it. Oh honey, where has the time gone. I am so, so proud of the man you've become".
Rusty sat up and Sharon stood up, turning away to open the curtains, and hiding her tears. Rusty thought. The commander always got teary when she talked about her children, for some reason.
"Alright alright mom I love you too. And I'm up". Rusty tried to sound grumpy, for good measure, but his smile betrayed him. It just felt good, to be loved and all.
"Perfect. There is breakfast waiting for you in the kitchen, and I was thinking about heading out around 9 AM?"
"Sounds good to me, I'll be out in a minute".
Sharon smiled and nodded as she walked towards the door. She was about to exit when she turned and looked at him.
"Happy birthday, Beckin'".
Rusty snort laughed- a trait he'd gain from her, to his dismay.
"Thanks, mom".
He opted for a shower right away, needing to compose himself and get ready for the day. Rusty wasn't sure it was a good idea after all. No. It is time. He reasoned as he stared at himself in the mirror, smiling faintly at the reflection in the mirror. A faint attempt at conveying strength and resolve he couldn't feel at the moment.
It had been eight years since He'd been to the zoo, almost a decade but he remembered it vividly. It was one of those life-altering moment he would never forget.
***
The light in the bathroom was flickering and it made it hard to see. The young boy was tempted to open the door, to try and get some light from the hallway, but decided against it.
The cries and screams had stopped, and he was almost certain he was alone in the rundown apartment, or that her mother and asshole of a boyfriend were too high to get to him at this point. But he wasn't about to take the risk.
Rusty sighed as he turned the tap on and brownish water came out of the sink - It'll have to do, he thought. He had managed to find hand sanitizer and figured the alcohol content inside would take care of the cuts on his face. His right eye was swollen but not quite shut. Yet.
He'd been used to regular beatings from her mom's partners over the years. It was all a part of the deal. His mom had told him he should feel grateful she was managing to find them people that would give them food and shelter. Some Shelter, The teenager thought sarcastically as he lifted his shirt, wincing. A large bruise in the shape of a size 11 shoe could be seen. He couldn't be sure, but was experienced enough to suspect at least one of his ribs was broken.
Rusty didn't feel grateful, despite what his mother had said. As the years went by, he had gotten accustomed to the beatings, although he was generally good at avoiding them. He would make himself really small, invisible, and mostly out of reach of his mother's boyfriends.
But he was 15 now. And He was bigger, stronger and he hoped that soon enough, he'd be independent enough to earn enough money to support the both of them. He had even already looked at halfway houses that could have them for a bit, and rehab centres that would take his mother in.
Rusty has learned not to take the beatings personally, if that made sense. Sharon Beck's boyfriends were often either drug dealers or users (or both) and they saw him as a nuisance. He knew his smart mouth got him in trouble more and more as he transitioned from child to adolescent, but he couldn't always help it.
He could never tolerate them being violent to his mom, though. So when Gary, the new low life his mom had met grabbed Sharon by the hair, calling her every ungodly name he could mutter while spinning her around, Rusty rushed in the room and shoved Gary roughly.
"Who do you think you are, you little shit?!" Gary spat, getting up from the floor.
"Someone your size, asshole". Rusty all but growled, getting ready for a fight.
"How you think so uh?" ***
Rusty sighed as hot water ran down his body. Gary was strong and gave Rusty a good enough beating that day. He responded in kind. He wasn't sure what he expected after the altercation, but surely not to be dropped off at the zoo and left behind for good. He turned the water off after a while, Sharon would be checking on him soon if he wasn't hurrying up. This Sharon would never let him down. He knew that now.
He could hear small talks coming from the kitchen as the smell of pancakes and bacon entered his nostrils. His favourite. Today was gearing up to be quite the emotional turmoil.
"All I mean is that it has to Emily's choice to come back here, hon'".
Sharon's response to the old argument stopped when Rusty entered the kitchen. With a lack of response from his wife, Andy turned around from the stove .
"Hey, Birthday boy! Happy Birthday Champ"!" Andy cheered as he skillfully flipped a pancake.
"Thanks….Mom?" Rusty answered, pointing to the Apron the lieutenant wore. A red apron with "Best Mom" written on it. One of Ricky's mother's day gift from years ago.
Sharon snort laughed - definitely a family trait- as she put a glass of OJ in front of Rusty.
Andy smiled at them and winked at Sharon. These two definitely deserved each other. Rusty meant that. They were painfully affectionate with each other, but madly in love. They both needed a second chance. Sharon to be an integrant part of a relationship that truly went both ways, and Andy to see that his recovery had led to better tomorrows.
"You okay Honey?"
"Uh yeah, yes I am, thanks mom."
The three of them had a nice breakfast talking about easy topics. Rusty's siblings, Nicole and her stepsons, whom Andy was taking out today to give his daughter and her husband a bit of a reprieve.
Time flew faster than Rusty could comprehend and before he knew it, they were ready to go.
Andy stopped them before they left.
"Alright, here guys I've got a backpack, kid you'll carry it yeah?" He handed the heavy pack to Rusty and before either of them could answer, went on to describing the content of the bag.
"It's got plenty of water, and aspirin in case Sharon, you get a headache. There are nuts and granola bars and bananas, and apples. In case you don't like the food there. Also two hats- you two are notorious for sun strokes and we do not want a repeat of Christmas in Hawaii last year.
I snuck in the small first aid kit from the kitchen, and some electrolytes. Ah and sunscreen".
Sharon all but rolled her eyes as she moved to her bedroom to fetch something.
Rusty was about to tease Andy but stopped in his tracks when he looked at his stepfather.
Sharon's heart transplant was in the past, but had left Andy terrified of losing her. He had eased off hovering about a year after the surgery - only because Sharon had mentioned something about shooting him. Rusty all but understood his concerns though. He too, had spent countless nights laying awake, wondering what his life would be like should his mother be taken away from him.
"Thanks Andy, I've got her I promise. We'll come back if she's too tired or too hot or whatever".
"I know you've got her kid."
"And hum, listen, I hope you don't take it the wrong way, that I only asked mom to..To come with me".
"Ush, none of that pal'. I know what it's like to have to face your demons. And I'm mighty proud of you for doing it. I hope you're proud of yourself too. Hell of a road you've walked young man, hell of a road".
With that, Andy pulled him into a bear hug. Rusty was still hesitant to personal touch- except from his mom, or Gus. Or Emily. But hugged Andy back, at a loss of words.
"Well well would you look at that". Rusty rolled his eyes as he grabbed his mother's keys and moved on towards the door. Andy all but smiled at her, he always did.
Sharon smiled back this goofy grin she seemed to have only for her husband and moved towards him.
"Have a good day with the kiddos, don't let them have too much ice cream, and tell them I love them." She said as she hugged her lieutenant and kissed him softly.
"Will do commander, will do".
"Retired" She sighed - god she hated that word.
"Yet still flawless".
Andy's goofy smile is met by another two sets of snort laughs and rolling eyes to match before Rusty replies.
"Ok ok can we please go before I have to once again witness my parents making out?. There's never a good time for that."
He is out of the door and pressing on the elevator button before he can see Andy's face. Touched and speechless at Rusty's choice of words.
Sharon smiles sweetly at him and kisses him one more time, hugging him tight.
"I love you, I'll see you tonight". She whispers in his ear, and the words he heard so many times still makes his heart swells.
"Love you too".
Rusty hands the keys to his mother in the elevator, a silent plea for her to drive - she is more than happy to oblige- If only for the fact that her youngest's driving capabilities are next to nonexistent.
The drive itself is quiet, Sharon even lets Rusty pick the radio station. Pop culture is blasting in her car and if she misses the "pam papapam pam pam pam" from the nutcracker, or any other classical usually playing, she doesn't say.
"You okay Beckin?" Sharon finally says as the car stops, parked near the entrance of the zoo.
"As I'll ever be mom, as I'll ever be".
His heartbeat is going faster than normal and Rusty takes a few minutes to get out of the car. Sharon waits patiently, giving him time and space. When he joins her, his hands are shaking and Sharon tentatively grabs one of them.
She half expected Rusty to shied away from her or let go as they walk towards the entrance, but he doesn't. He is passed the point of caring what other people might think or say of a grown man holding his mother's hand.
He's never been so glad of his mother's organizational skills. Sharon - I have a sense of occasion and I am ready to use it -Raydor-Flynn had booked the tickets online and they skip the line, making their way inside the zoo so fast he doesn't have time to run away.
Her hand still in Rusty's, Sharon accepts the map she is being given as they are being let in. She smiles politely and half listens to the woman explaining her about feeding times and talks about giraffes and otters.
It had been years since Sharon visited the place herself. She used to take Ricky and Emily when they were little. Usually around their own birthdays, or whenever Jack would disappear. It was a nice treat and almost always succeeded in making them forget their dad's recurring abandonment.
"Anywhere in particular you want to go honey?"
"No..Hm, not really. But we should probably put our hats on before Andy appears from a bear enclosure to scold the both of us".
He lets go of Sharon's hand to open the backpack and they both laugh as he pulls out two Dodger's hats.
"He means well" Sharon says sweetly.
"He really does".
They take the time to apply sunblock and laugh some more.
"Mom your face is all white".
"Oh my god help me".
The whole process takes more or less 15 minutes, with a trip to the bathroom to get sunscreen out of Rusty's eyes and Sharon to get her contact out from behind her eyeball. They laugh at the situation - a welcome break from the tension they've both been feeling.
"Let's take a selfie and send it to Andy". Rusty says as he grabs his phone. Both of them have red eyes- from the contact lense escape and sunscreen attack and Rusty has all but given up on the extra sunscreen making him look even paler than usual. They are all smile though and he sends it right away.
"Arrived at the zoo, hats and sunscreen on".
They laugh at the prompt answer - a flurry of thumbs up, a heart, a baseball and a camel.
"He is getting better at this emoji business" The comment is innocent enough but Sharon rolls her eyes as she gives the phone back to her son.
She is still lagging behind on that particular matter. Rusty had been appointed as her emoji coach when, about two years ago she had sent a picture of Andy holding a dish of homemade moussaka with 3 eggplants emojis in the family group chat.
Ricky was horrified, Emily wouldn't answer her mother's calls for 2 weeks and Rusty couldn't stop laughing for a whole week. Andy was forbidden from even mentioning it. It was still a favourite story at Christmas and left her so scared -and scarred- that she all but stopped using them horrible little pictures for a whole year.
Still, though the whole ordeal had been humiliating, her heart was plenty full with her family's antics.
They're still laughing when they finally leave the zoo entrance and stroll along the pathways.
The morning goes by quickly. They stroll around the place lazily, stopping here and there for talks. Sharon gets her phone out when Rusty is being handed a leaf by a keeper and a massive giraffe is licking half his arm. The picture is blurry and her son's face is conflicted. Halfway between happy and disgusted. They laugh when they find hand sanitizer in the depth of the backpack. He takes a picture of her, equally as blurry in the darken reptile house. Commander Raydor, Fierce and Fearless in front of the worst murderers all but hides behind Rusty and almost runs out of the place when her eyes meets with a gigantic tarantula. They leave when she almost passes out in front of a boa constrictor wrapped around a dead chicken.
Sharon talks to Rusty about Jane Goodall and her work with the chimpanzee in Tanzania in front of the great apes enclosure, and they decide on watching the documentary about her sometime - Rusty makes a quick note in his phone to track the older woman's appearance and talks in LA and intends to offer tickets to Sharon for her birthday.
They break for lunch and while Rusty orders his usual burger, Sharon settles for Andy's granola bars, apple and nuts. It's still a special day and she indulges in a few of her son's fries, and he only grunts when she sips half his milkshake.
"Where to, now?"
His face is troubled and she can see a bit of the anxiety he felt in the morning resurfacing.
"Or, we can go honey, it's your day."
"No I mean. Hm. Last time I, uh I don't know. It seems so dumb mom. I mean I know it was a long time ago. I know you're not going to leave me here and pack up and disappear with Andy."
Sharon struggles, but she keeps quiet. She's not immune to panic attacks, ptsd and trauma. And while her story is completely different from Rusty's, she knows that there is no rational in trauma.
If she could take from her own experience to empathize with him, she often compares it to her insecurities in her marriage. She knows Andy loves her the way Jack never could. She knows Andy doesn't use her insecurities as weapons in arguments. She knows he wouldn't leave and not come back. And yet every time they argue, she worries he might walk out and take back his love and promises and leave her alone, heartbroken and blaming herself.
She concentrates back to the present and on Rusty. Her marriage is perfectly fine and her husband one of a kind. This is not about her.
Sharon grabs Rusty's hand from across the table.
"That's right beckin, you're stuck with us, for better or worst" She says tentatively when he doesn't continue.
"It's just. Ah. It's all coming back you know?"
Sharon squeezes his hand and he finally looks up at her.
"I had no money for food and only had a half bottle of pop to last me for the day. My ribs and face hurt from the beating Gary gave me and I was so hungry. People were looking at me like I was one of those animals in the enclosure. I felt bad for them that day."
She closes her eyes and it takes her everything she has not to cry and not to hate Sharon Beck. She's not one for hating. The other Sharon is in a good place now. She has job and a daughter she's taking care of. Gary is locked up and incapable of harming anyone but himself. But she has a hard time coming to terms with the abuse Rusty had to endure for much of his childhood and early teenage years.
"I'm okay mom." He can read her face pretty well by now, just as she can his.
"I know honey, I know".
"Anyway. The last place I went to see, before I realized I was being left behind was the lion's enclosure. Would you..Would you mind if we went there? Then we can go home".
"Of course. Anything you want honey".
They need some time to compose themselves and Rusty grabs the remnant of the food and dutifully puts it away in the bins and compost.
The LA heat is almost unbearable when they step out, and they chase the shade the trees provide as they make their way to the lions. Rusty slows his pace as they get near, and Sharon grabs his hand once more. He looks at her and smile.
They walk hand in hand when a small group of teenagers bump into his shoulders.
"Watch where you going. Hey what's this, afraid of losing your mommy, jerk?".
He is too focused on his anxiety for a smart ass comment, and Sharon just glares at them. He thinks the infamous Darth Raydor look must still be intact despite Sharon having retired for a few years now, because they quickly leave and go on.
A decent group has gathered by the lions and a little boy tugs on Rusty's shirt. He looks down.
"Don't listen to them. You should always hold your mom's hand in a big place like this. You could get lost."
Rusty just stares at him and Sharon smiles.
"That's right honey, what a nice and polite little boy you are" She says kindly.
His mother looks up at her and smiles back.
"At least you didn't have to put a leash on yours" She answers. Sharon thinks she must be joking when the woman lifts her other hand. The second child -who's pulling on the leash and trying to climb the barrier -has a monkey shaped backpack wrapped around him, with a leash attached to it, securely held by the mother.
"ADHD, that's all I can do not to have him climb inside that enclosure" The woman says, sighing heavily. They laugh and Sharon looks pointedly at her son.
"To think that's all I needed instead of assigning you a protection detail".
He looks horrified at the thought and she laughs, trying to picture the rebellious (rightfully so, he had reasons) teenager in a monkey attire.
The little boy tugs at his shirt once more and gestures for Rusty to come down so he can whisper in his ear.
"That's why I don't let go of mommy's hand. I don't want the leash. But don't worry. Even if you're big you can still be scared of being lost. But your mommy will keep you safe"
It's not as quiet as he thinks and Sharon and the mother exchange a sweet look and smile.
"I know" Rusty says, squeezing Sharon's hand and looking briefly at her.
"My mommy always makes me feel safe. And she never lets me get lost".
It's around 9 in the evening when Andy gets back to the condo. He is exhausted from his day at the beach. Those little boys have more energy than he ever remembers having. Or maybe he is just that old. He smiles though, the day was really good. They had ice cream- but not too much. And the fact that "Granny Sharon" said so was enough to stop the whining. His wife really had authority attached around her name and persona. One mention of her and everyone got in line. They played at the beach and he even went swimming with them for a bit - Not that Provenza ever needed to know.
He takes his shoes off and looks around. The condo is quiet saved for the TV, Images of Africa flash up while the soft voice of Jane Goodall narrates - He recognizes her from a book Sharon had been reading a few weeks back.
Andy finds his wife asleep, resting against a cushion while Rusty is snoring away, his head on her shoulder.
The picture is sweet and he thinks that they too, must have had a good day. He laughs when he sees they are wearing matching T shirts from the Zoo. She wears a simple V neck and he can somewhat see a bear and suspects it reads "Mama bear" under it, and he can't quite see what Rusty's is but his talents as a detective leads him to believe it's something to do with a bear cub. He knows he'll have to wake them soon, lest Sharon will be rewarded by a sore neck, back and he'll endure a case of bad mood. But he leaves them be for a little longer. He smiles as he notices the new addition to the fridge's array of magnets and pictures - The two of them, all teeth and badly applied sunscreen, Dodgers hats askew as they precariously hold a couple of parrots and cockatoos each, It must have been a good day indeed.
There's a shirt neatly folded on the counter behind him, with his name on it. He unfolds it and smiles. It's a matching set to the one they are wearing, dark grey with a massive grizzly bear that reads " Papa Bear". It is so cheesy he should really be laughing but he must be getting emotional in his old age, because that's just about enough to make him cry of happiness and he doesn't cry.
He puts the shirt on and decides to join them on the couch. Sharon is awake by now and she nudges Rusty softly.
He sits down and moves away from her as Andy takes his place next to his wife. She smiles at his shirt and says nothing. He snuggles close as Rusty grabs the popcorn bowl.
They all look at Jane and her adventures in the Gombe stream, oh how it's good to be home.
Fin.
Ah don't be too harsh, I warned ya I needed some easy fluff.
Please note to whomever might be reading this and has had to use one of those kid's leash, that I don't judge one bit. I'm an Early Childhood Educator and I've had my head spinning doing headcount til' the cows come home in crowded swimming pools and zoos and parks and what not. Whatever works for you.
Anyway, thanks for reading if you have come this far. Stay safe everyone!