Chapter 2: Epiphany
The world was cruel. It took Jon many years to finally understand it. This epiphany started when he and King Rhaegar talked for the first time. One couldn´t really call it a talk, it was rather just five words which the King muttered under his breath so only Jon heard it.
"It should have been you."
Back then, the young Dayne was not able to comprehend these words. Only after his father told him about his birth Jon finally understood their meaning. It all began at the Tower of Joy.
Jon would need to be deaf to have never heard of the famous story of Arthur Dayne defending Lyanna Stark and the prince and beating 4 men on his own. However, the young Dayne never heard it from his father lips. Every time he asked about it, his father would make a remorseful face of shame instead of the pride the people expected him to wear.
When Jon told Arthur about King Rhaegar´s words he nodded and asked his son to sit down. The face of his father spoke volumes, he was angry at first, but soon the rage turned to bitterness and sorrow. His clenched fists relaxed.
Jon could only look to the floor as his father was about to cry – something Jon only had seen after first picking up two swords in the training yard. He stood up from his stair and hugged his father deeply, still not knowing what truly made him feel this way.
After a couple of minutes just embracing each other his father nodded his head, "Okay…". After Jon sat back down and looked in the red face of his father the tale began. It shattered the young Dayne´s world. Jon Dayne, son of Arthur Dayne was in reality the son of the dead Ashara Dayne and Eddard Stark, Warden of the North. And everybody but him seemed to know.
"Lyanna Starks screams saved me Jon. Not my swordsmanship. Otherwise Howland Reed would have stuck his knife through my throat and killed me. The Queen birthed the healthy looking babe Jaehaerys Targaryen, but when Reed, Stark and I finally got to the top of the tower she was already hallucinating and preparing to die. Stark ran to her and took the babe out of her hands. Her joyful eyes were dull and sweat was forming all over her body. Lyanna kept repeating the name of the babe until her last breath.
As Starfall was close to the tower Stark and Reed agreed to go there as the babe had to get to safety. Both of them finally understood that the rebellion was for nothing. Lyanna Stark hadn´t been abducted, but rather went with Rhaegar willingly. Not that it mattered as the uprising has already fallen apart after her Grace won at the Trident.
When we finally arrived at my ancestral home, wet nurses ran to me, saying that my sister Ashara Dayne has birthed a little boy of the seed of Lord Stark called…", his father halted, looking at him, "Jon Dayne. I am so sorry, Jon, I just… I couldn´t…"
The truth hurt a lot. That day Jon finally understood the slurs that were thrown at him all the time or how his father could have a son when the Queensguard was forbidden to sire children.
The young Dayne had to swallow hard, but still no words could leave his mouth. A shiver ran down through his body, his eyes were wide open, staring at the floor like if he was searching for a lost Silver Stag. His lungs were breathing fast and soon he sobbed. Jon did not know when he started crying or for that matter stopped – he only felt his father embracing him, apologizing again. His tears were still burning a trail down his cheeks.
"So… I killed my mother?", Jon stated rather than ask. He felt weak and raw, his mind was unclear – thinking did not work that moment.
"No, No, No, No Jon you did not.", his father instantly said, "You mother, my sister, was a sickly woman. Upon seeing you she smiled. Gods… the last time I saw her smiling was years before. Ashara adored you with all of her being."
"She would have been a great mother.", Arthur added, smiling to himself.
"Why did I not grow up in the North?", Jon said accusingly, finally connecting the dots.
"Ned Stark had married Catelyn Tully and was expecting a second son, Robb Stark – "
"But why did he leave mother?!", Jon cut him off. His face was red of anger, not directed at Arthur, but at Eddard Stark, his sire.
"I do not know if he really loved your mother, you will have to ask that question himself.", his father took a deep breath to calm himself, "I only know that he left your mother for that Tully woman. When Eddard heard the news of your birth he looked both sad and happy at the same time. However, he did not want you to come north with him. As you were the firstborn son he feared Catelyn would see you as a danger to their heir, Robb Stark. Eddard was afraid what she may do to you. And he didn´t want to raise him as his bastard as Ashara would never forgive him. So he gave you to me, the brother of your mother. I hope that one day you can forgive me Jon."
A unpleasant quietness settled between them. Jon thought long about he just heard.
"I don´t think I can forgive you father, for there is nothing you have to feel sorry about.", Jon shook his head. While this revelation certainly changed specific views for Jon, it did not change the fact that Arthur Dayne was his father. He couldn´t care less who sired him, if the person threw him away like the leftover of an eaten apple. At least his mother loved him, after all these years of questioning her existence he finally knew she really had loved him, Jon thought, and he still had a father who adored him like if he was his own.
"I see your face Jon, don´t think too much of Eddard Stark´s actions. Maybe if you speak to him one day you might understand."
"I do not ever want to talk to him.", Jon muttered. The conversation got quiet as feelings had to settle. The young Dayne tried to organize his mind and breathed out deeply.
"I still don´t understand her Grace´s words though.", normality settled between him and his father again. Jon would have a lot of sleepless nights before accepting the truth of his heritage, but did not want to think about it right now.
His father nodded, "As you may have heard, Jaehaerys Targaryen third of his name died very young. At Starfall both of you lay in a special room designated to shield you from the others – a safety measure. However, cutthroats were able to unlock the door. I do not know how and to this day after years of investigating still no one knows who sent them. They killed Jaehaerys Targaryen, I think they knew which babe to stab because of the golden crib he laid in. Both of you looked very similar. Your crib was much more mundane I believe. Neither I nor Lord Stark were able to protect the prince. I could only bring a mutilated corpse to my best friend Rhaegar Targaryen who waited for his healthy son in King´s Landing.
The loss of Lyanna and Jaehaerys broke him and he hated me and himself for not protecting them well enough. In stories Rhaegar is described as solemn, but happy nonetheless. He would play the harp for hours and the whole Red Keep would swoon. Death changes a man and his Grace became bitter. I cannot remember a day where smiled after I brought Jaehaerys to him. His face only darkened after I asked to leave the Kingsguard to raise you. He did not allow me to, for he said that I did not sire you and therefore broke no oath. He legitimized you too under the promise of forfeiting all rights to Winterfell. The King still holds all his hatred and it seems he now faults you too for Jaehaerys death, not that you could have changed anything."
So that´s why the Kingsguard and close to everyone dislikes me – simply because his Grace does. I always wondered why the normally kind Ser Barristan Selmy chose to ignore all of my questions…
Jon kept quiet, pondering about what he had heard.
"I feel like it really should have been me the cutthroats killed… The prince would still live...", Jon murmured.
"Don´t say that. It does not matter."
"Of course it does! I live and the prince is dead!", the young Dayne all but screamed in disbelief.
"I wouldn´t want to change it. The princesses and prince neither, they love you and as do I. We cannot switch the past as it is history. Learn from it my son and live for today. Today is a gift for that is why it´s called present. You are here now and the prince is not.", Arthur said calmly, "Do not pity the dead Jon and don´t feel guilty for things that are out of your power to change. Accept it and move on."
"I´m going to protect them all father, Aegon, Dany, Rhae. I will make up for the death of Jaehaerys Targaryen and honor him by serving the crown.", Arthur could see the tightened fists of his son becoming white, "Father, I want to be the best person I can possibly be.", Jon finally looked up, with determination in his eyes.
"You will be my son, I know it. It does not matter what they call you Jon. You are going to determine who you are."
"Ashara Dayne´s trueborn son, Lord Stark´s bastard, Jon Sand, Jon Dayne… for all I know it´s all the same – me. Father, I am going to show them what happens when a star rises above all."
His father smiled at him proudly and ruffled through the long locks of Jon´s hair, "And if I ever hear someone calling you bastard again I will cut his head cleanly off."
"Common Dagger of the Day!", Jaime smirked after beating him at the spar – as usual. Jon could not remember the last time he even had a chance to overcome his older brother. To make the situation even more dire, the lion took a liking to taunt him every single time the training sword fell on the dirty floor they trained on.
The young Dayne raised his brows, "Dagger? Of the day? I truly thought you had a way with words, Jam." Both of them sniggered, before Jaime bowed exaggerated.
"I only wanted to call you with your rightful title. For as you one day will wield both Dawn and Dusk, the people might combine the Sword of the Morning and Evening to Day. Can´t really call you a sword yet as your manhood is probably shorter than your finger – thus Dagger of the Day!", his older brother couldn´t hold his laughter after looking at Jon´s disturbed face, "Don´t make such a face, I am merely stating facts."
Jon´s whole body got warmer, he blushed. His beet red face probably did not help the situation as Jaime laughed even harder. Jon glared at his older brother. The young Dayne cursed under his breath and threw away one of the training swords. The other one he took into both if his hands and pointed it at the lion. "You became better at jesting than I thought dear Jam. I might as well wipe that smile out of you face!"
Only one hit to shut him up, Jon thought, I only have to hit him one single time! Jon readjusted his grip on the sword, holding it tightly. He took the tension out of his shoulders before breathing out slowly and drawing air into his lungs. We sparred so many times, I know how Jaime fights. The young swordsman closed his eyes. Jaime gets lazy during the end of a fight. If his opponent is not strong enough to hold his own, Jam often sneers and becomes cocky, losing a bit of his reflexes and creativity with the blade. That´s the moment I strike him.
Jon opened his eyes to see Jaime offer a salute with mock seriousness. They started to circle each other.
"What´s gotten into your mind now Dagger? Did you thought about the taste of mud in your mouth after I beat you again?"
"I think your hair will get a shade darker today.", Jon answered steeling his mind.
"Is that supposed to make me feel – ", before Jam could end his sentence, the young Dayne lunged at him.
Jon struck lazily at the torso of his older brother. Jaime parried sharply, frowning at the sloppiness of the attack and thrusted at the Jon. The boy moved out of the way of the blade and parried it, before slashing in a vertical line. The lion only scoffed bringing his own blade up and successfully defended himself from Jon´s sword.
"I thought you wanted to wipe that smile of my face? With such ridiculous attacks nothing of the sort will happen."
The banter fell on deaf ears as Jon ignored everything around him. Only Jaime sword and his sword mattered. Everything else was blocked by his mind. The young Dayne had entered a state of sheer determination and concentration. He had no use for the unnecessary information.
The lion only shook his head and slashed with his sword at Jon. The Dayne sidestepped just enough as the blade passed a hairs breath from his face. I wanted to be sloppy, not look like I have a death wish. The both of them traded quick blows, before Jon tried to strike at Jaime´s feet, intentionally aiming to short. The blade connected to nothing and the two swordsmen circled each other again.
Jaime scoffed and Jon could see his muscles relaxing. The lion stopped walking altogether and just stood opposite of him. Good, arrogance will make him slow. The young Dayne used a quick slash upwards to open up Jaime´s front. The lion´s arrogance played right into his hands: His older brother scoffed and slowly raised his own sword to parry downwards. Now. Jon used this moment to this fullest extent and put all of his power to make the strike harder than it looked like in the beginning. Jaime´s sword was pushed back a little further than normally and Jon instantly kicked into the knight´s stomach, doubling him over. The young Dayne used the momentum of his body to slash horizontally at his older brother. The maneuver had caught the lion off guard and while Jaime, who finally recovered his wits, was on his way to block the Jon´s sword, the younger swordsmen changed the trajectory of his sword slightly. The blunt side of the blade hit Jaime´s hand and made him drop the sword.
Breathing hard, the tip of Jon´s sword was brought to the neck of his older brother who looked at him proudly.
"You finally…", Jaime breathed deeply, still recovering from the hard kick, "… you finally did it… And here I thought that I would never see the skill I always expected you to have…"
"Yield.", Jon himself could not talk more than one word, his head was spinning, his concentration coming to an end. He was exhausted and still couldn´t fully comprehend what he just achieved. I beat him. I won against Jaime fucking Lannister.
His opponent let out a slight laugh, "I yield you little shit. Heard me? I finally said it, now sheathe your sword."
Jon´s legs gave out and he let himself fall onto the dirty ground, the training blade laying besides him. He looked at the cloudy, grey sky and wiped the sweat of his face. "Seven hells, I did it."
His intention was not to say the words aloud, but somehow his mouth wouldn´t oblige.
"Aye. Now get you shit together. Just because you learned to fight both gracefully and dirty doesn´t mean you should take root on this muddy ground. If you don´t display the same skill tomorrow or tell anybody but your father that you beat the mighty Kingslayer I will make you one head short."
Jon never really got to know his family. He knew their names of course since House Dayne became very small over the last decades. He had a cousin, Eldric Dayne, who was only twelve name days old. The young boy reigned over Starfall anyways, with the help of two maester.
Jon envied his cousin. It was a bad character trait and Jon despised feeling that way, but he could not help it. Starfall did not matter to him, as he never saw the castle, but people often compared Eldric to Jon. His cousin was born to rule the lands of his family and naturally gifted with the sword. It was all but a fact that Eldric would wield Dawn one day. Jon was terrified of losing Dusk to Eldric too. To be overshadowed by his cousin and therefore losing the love of his father was one of Jon´s deepest fears.
Then there was of course his father Arthur and Jon´s aunt Allyria who he had yet to meet.
His father always praised her in high tones. She had a very sharp mind – the art of words came easy to her. Allyria excelled at politics. Arthur described the young woman as thoughtful, but still fast to make decisions ultimately leading to her goals with ease. If she wanted something, Allyria wouldn´t stop before obtaining what she dearly sought. Just like him, his aunt seemed to love books and had a keen sense of strategy. She had to be quiet the lady for his father to compliment her when she was just three years older than Jon.
Lastly, there was Ser Gerold Dayne or Darkstar as he called himself. Jon wished he had never met the man who only sowed doubt in his mind.
Ser Gerold envied his father or so he was told. Jon could not entirely wrap his head around the stories surrounding both of them, but he understood the gist. Ser Darkstar thirsted for the fame of the Sword of the Morning, wielder of Dawn.
He was a spiteful man with angry eyes and a bitter face. Nevertheless, they young Dayne would describe the Ser as good looking. Despite his pretty face and actually formidable skill with the sword, his life was dictated by jealousy of his cousin, Ser Arthur Dayne. He often searched for glory, hoping that people would finally give him the cheers and looks he though he deserved.
While the young Dayne had always thought the title Darkstar to be absolutely ridiculous and inflated, he still admired the years of training Ser Gerold put into swordsmanship. The knight was truly one of the best he had ever seen, maybe only second to both Jam and his father. His movements were like those of water, fluidly, but still deadly like the hard waves of the sea. His stance was impeccable and Jon could not see an error in his style no matter how many spars he watched. But the admiration was one sided, Jon recalled.
Ser Gerold Dayne had only one word to say to Jon and he repeated it every single time they met…
"Pathetic."
His words were poison for Jon´s determination and ambition.
The young Dayne questioned his own swordsmanship that night. And the next night. And the night after that one. However, Jon soon got to know that the fault did not lay at him, but at Ser Gerold himself. He despised him for being Arthur Dayne´s son and for wielding one of the two swords made out of fallen stars, Dusk. Ser Gerold probably wanted it for himself to obtain the name of The Sword of the Evening or maybe he just hated Jon´s guts because he saw him as Eddard Stark´s bastard – a stain that was legitimized and now wears the name Dayne.
"Did you ever thought about what our relationship would be like, if I wasn´t a prince?", Aegon asked somberly, sipping on the wine he had brought for the both of them.
Jon and Egg sat on top of the wall and overlooked the sea before them. The sun dipped just below the horizon as the last lights of the day were swallowed by the darkness of the night, painting the sky in beautiful colors of red and purple. The puffed up clouds seemed to hold the last tints of golden sunshine. Seagulls sung songs of lands from far away while he and Egg enjoined the dornish wine. Out here no one noticed them, it was their location of true fraternity. Where they could be open to each other, not minding their words or actions and could truly let their souls wander.
It was still summer, the air was moist with a faint breeze coming from the sea. He and Egg both loved the sunset – it was a sign from the gods, that no matter what happened during the day, it would always end beautifully.
"I suppose we would talk more. Spar more. Ride more. Live together.", Jon gazed at the horizon, thinking about the question.
"We would race each other on different boats to the lands of Essos, Sothoryos and what lays behind Mossovy.", they both smiled without looking at each other.
"Aye, a great competition it would be, but I fear you´re not a worthy opponent, dear Egg.", the young Dayne jested.
"At least I can find the way to Essos. You would surely forget your food and had to sail back.", Egg countered, both of them sniggering. A pleasant tranquility settled between the both of them.
"Dany and Rhae might follow us as well."
"They definitely would. We could tell them today that I do not care about the Iron Throne at all and both of them would bribe the next fisherman to get us to Essos. Might aswell invite this aunt of yours, Ser Arthur said she is a beauty.", Aegon smiled, "Sometimes I wish the world was simpler for me, you know Jon? When I was little I hoped we both could travel the world with Ser Arthur and see the wonders our own. Cause mischief like in our childhood only to be lectured by your father."
They snorted while their minds filled with these nostalgic memories.
"Aye, maybe when we are both old and senile, we might as well die during an adventure. Better than in a bed I suppose.", Jon offered, to which Egg nodded his head.
"I really want to see Valyria. The Great Moraq. I want to wear one of those silly monkey hats of Yi-Ti and climb the high mountains to see the Five Forts with my own eyes. I want to fight pirates near the Summer Isles or clash against the brindled man of Sothoryos. I´d like to see the dark city of Asshai were dragons are still supposed to live. Or kill a basilisk and skin it.
"Maybe even visit the yellow King in Carcosa to see his magic.", Jon has always wondered what magic truly was.
"You think there are really men with wings there?"
"I don´t know, sounds silly, but then again, dragons have lived in this world for thousands of years.", the young Dayne answered, "We could take a swim in the Bleeding Sea, fight the men with green skin of the thousand isles."
"We would probably count them too, to see if the name speaks truth.", Egg joked, "What do you think lays west of Westeros and east of Mossovy?"
"Something truly magnificent I suppose."
"Aye.", when Jon looked at his brother he saw tears in his eyes. The burden of being born an heir. He either has to forsake his duty or go through with it, living a life he doesn´t want.
When tears fell down Egg´s cheeks, Jon put his arm around him and they both looked at the waves crashing into the charcoal stones of the shore.
"I really want nothing more but to leave Jon, you know? Pack my things, get my sisters and just leave these lands behind.", Aegon´chin trembled as he was about to cry, "I don´t want to rule. I am not made for it and this live is not worthwhile just sitting in a damn castle listening to every single plague of a country with men I could care less about. Do you think I´m selfish?"
Jon shook his head, "I believe all of us have something they want to do with their lives. It is up to us to decide if we truly want to go through with these plans. It doesn´t make you selfish for wanting to live your life after your own ideas."
"We decide our own fate and not the gods. That´s what Rhae always told me."
"She is rather direct with that, but aye, essentially what I think too."
Egg wiped the tears out of his face, "Than I am sure of my decision. I cannot let duty decide my entire life without me having part in it. If I have to rule then so be it, but I at least want to see those lands we spoke of before settling here. I will go on an adventure with you brother. Not when we are old and senile, but soon. Nothing can stand in our way and truly I don´t care what father and mother might say. Imagine the joy we two would have."
Aegon smiled again and Jon joined him. The stars had settled on the sky and they both looked upwards, admiring their beauty.
"Promise me brother… we are going to go on an adventure, aren´t we? And after that we will rule Westeros together.", Egg looked right into his eyes.
"Aye, we will.", Jon grinned at him while Egg grinned back.
Changed some small words in chapter 1, nothing to exciting. Next chapter in 2 days where the real story may truly begin. We will have a time skip of about 2-3 years to the start of Game of Thrones.