I own nothing but my own words.

Chapter 2: Intimacy Not Your Strong Suit?

"You're mad."

"Obviously," Hope said, giving Clarke a perturbed look.

"I think Alyssa Chang makes a lovely roommate," Clarke smirked, strolling over to Alyssa's side of the room, snooping even though he couldn't pick up anything as he discovered when he tried.

She rolled her eyes, "Not what I meant, but if you know about me and Alyssa than you know why I'm talking to you right now."

Hope wasn't having the best day. She finally moved back into the Salvatore School to find that she no longer had a single. Her new roommate hardly inspired peace and love. It was going to be a long semester dealing with that. Plus, this was the school she grew up in, but she had no idea where anything was. How could an entire school change in the little time she was away? Knowing things were weird with Josie again didn't help either. She knew it wasn't going to be easy, but she was hoping Josie wouldn't close off from her completely. She needed to find a way in, a legit reason to talk to Josie.

That reason came in the form of Lizzie, the twin she'd become surprisingly close with recently. After she listened to the blonde's latest crisis—namely sleeping with Sebastian even though she was pretty sure she hated him—she told her that the Malivore portal was, in fact, closed. She was happy to report that she found it dormant last night. She was going to segue into telling her the current predicament with Clarke, but she never got that far. It seemed Clarke, in the form of their headmaster, had prompted Josie to create an hourglass filled with all of her excess dark magic.

Hope promised Lizzie to look into it and find a way to help. She spoke with Vincent first to get all the pertinent details on the mora miserium. Before she went to Josie though, she wanted to see if Clarke could shed some light on how to defuse the sand clock. He helped create it, he clearly knew more than everyone. She had just the incentive to prompt him too.

"There isn't a way to nullify the power," Clarke affirmed. "Not that I know of."

It bothered her a bit that Clarke knew everything that was happening around her, and even knew her thoughts. It didn't bother her quite as much as she thought it would, but it did bother her. She had to live with it for now though.

"So there's nothing floating around in that memory of yours?" Hope insisted. "Not even if I said it would be a show of good faith to help you get that body you want so much?"

"Given how much I want a body, I'd tell you anything you want to know. Alas," he sighed, wondering back over to Hope's sparse side of the room. He surveyed the bed curiously. "I don't know."

"What are you doing?" Hope asked, unable to ignore his movements any longer.

"I can't pick up any objects but I could sit on the dock last night, so I wonder…" Clarke turned and sat on the edge of the bed. "Interesting."

Hope looked heavenward. "Focus, Clarke, can you tell me anything to help us destroy the sand clock?"

"You could break it?" he suggested, bouncing on the edge of the bed. The bed didn't move, but he did.

"But if we break it, all that power will go rushing back to Josie," she argued.

"So? Josie becomes more powerful. I don't see the problem," he shrugged.

"That's not the kind of power any of us want."

"Speak for yourself."

Hope made eye contact with him, all sarcasm gone.

"How could you do that to her?" she asked softly.

"I was doing her a favor," he explained, eyes flashing at the insinuation that he'd done anything wrong. "She made the choice to siphon all the magic from that samurai sword. I simply gave her a place to put it."

"She wouldn't have been messing with dark magic in the first place if you hadn't encouraged her," Hope said.

"Because she never once did dark magic before I arrived?" Clarke asked, knowing full well she had.

Hope bit her lip. He was right. Josie had been dabbling in dark magic and a lot of those times it was Hope playing the instigator. Clarke just convinced Josie to take it to a level she wasn't comfortable with.

Clarke smirked, "Now I ask, how could you do that to her?"

Infuriated that he, once again, knew what she was thinking before she said it, she had to ask, "How does this subconscious thing work? Do you know everything that I'm thinking and feeling?"

"Pretty much," he answered smugly.

Knowing it and hearing it were two different things. She wasn't quite as okay with this as she was five seconds ago.

"Even more an incentive to get me a body," Clarke insisted. "You should've told Lizzie when you wanted to earlier. She could help."

"She's terrible at keeping secrets from Josie," Hope replied. "And before you say it, no. I'm not telling Josie. Not yet anyway." She didn't think Josie would take kindly to knowing Clarke was still alive. She'd insist on doing the unlinking spell immediately, say Clarke was just manipulating them with merge information.

"What about Landon?" Clarke was on his feet again, wondering over to the window and looking out at the view.

"What about Landon? He can't help," she said quickly.

"Why haven't you told him about me yet?" he asked.

Hope didn't want to answer that, at least not out loud. She should've told Landon immediately, but she didn't want him to be weird around her. She just got him back. If Clarke knew everything that was happening to her, then he also knew…

"Yeah, that was…disturbing," he said. "The awkward hug thing. Can you try not to make out with my brother while I'm still in here?"

That was why.

"This is impossible," she mumbled.

"You know how to make it stop," he reminded her.

Grabbing and deactivating the prism was her only answer.

PLEASE make it stop.

Experiencing Hope and Josie making up was kind of excruciating. Hope knew she had to be open with Josie if she wanted to reach her, but it had hurt Hope on a subconscious level to reveal something so personal.

Within Hope's subconscious, Clarke didn't appreciate reliving the moment she discovered Landon and Josie had moved on without her. It felt like a thousand tiny little daggers were stabbing him all at once.

In the end, it was worth it to Hope because she got to a good place with Josie. Clarke was just relieved it was over.

He was still adjusting to being a part of someone's subconscious. It was kind of fascinating. He'd spent centuries observing humans, but he could never really experience what it was like to be human from the inside. The emotions were overwhelming at first. He marveled at the many different places her psyche took him. One second she was annoyed, then regretful, then loving, then uncertain, and the emotions went on and on.

For the longest time, he'd only ever felt few emotions. Maybe that was all he was capable of? He knew anger, rejection, and vengeance. At one point, he'd felt a complete lack of emotion, that was when he returned to the pit to be with his father. After that, there was nothing but loneliness. Even when his father set him free, there was only this mind numbing urge to do anything to please his father in the hope that he would one day see his value. He hadn't felt many other emotions until he'd been dragged back into the pit of Malivore.

Scared of what awaited him, he arrived to find that things had changed and he wasn't alone this time. She was there. He found himself revealing things to her that he'd never told anyone else about himself. How could he? No one else would ever believe such a farfetched story. And if they did, they wouldn't have stuck around long enough to learn how he felt about it.

The truth was, arguing and verbally sparring with her was the first time he'd felt truly alive in…well, forever.

When Hope opened her dorm room door and saw Josie and Landon in her room, Clarke tried to brace himself for any sudden pain.

Instead, he experienced something quite different.

"What's all this?" she asked.

"Just a little something to make you feel more at home," Landon explained.

Looking around, Hope—and Clarke—took in the school supplies neatly arranged, the photos of family and friends, the sign on the wall declaring her name, and…the Christmas lights. The hitch in Hope's breath at taking in the Christmas lights was the only indication that they affected her differently and Clarke was the only one to notice it. She was thinking of her dream from last night—flashes of the gala, her family, and dancing with Clarke.

"Not exactly how it was but we thought maybe you might like it if we changed it up a little bit," Josie said hopefully.

Clarke was suddenly flooded with an emotion that could only be described as pure happiness.

Everything else fell away as Hope reached for two of the most important people in the world to her, holding them tightly. Everything got so messed up when she'd jumped into the pit. This was the moment when everything was finally right again. All of her fears were for naught.

The experience shook him to the core.

She was back to wondering down corridors.

When she was awake, he had no control, but it was different in her dreams. He could talk and move at his own pace. For instance, as she once again passed the glowing blue door, he gave pause. He could see her in the distance, wondering aimlessly. He knew eventually something interesting could happen, but he'd been wondering about this door too much. He wanted to give in to his curiosity.

When she told him that someone else had taken over her body as a child, he'd wondered what great evil had escaped Triad's notice. Admittedly, Triad knew of the Mikaelsons, but they tended to leave them alone. The pit wasn't a place for vampires after all.

He gripped the door handle, preparing to struggle to open it, but it gave easily.

The entire room held the same blue glow. He glanced around, walking further into the room. He didn't see anyone at first, but then he noticed the child in the furthest corner of the room. She was sitting on the floor against the wall. Her eyes were closed and she was shivering.

As he watched, a man approached the girl on the floor and tried to take her in his arms. Clarke recognized him as Klaus Mikaelson from the last dream. The man appeared greatly worried and troubled, especially when he couldn't hold her.

"I'm here," the hybrid said, making his presence known to the little girl.

Barely able to open her eyes, she murmured, "The Hollow came. I tried to fight her…everything is so dark, so cold… I'm tired." She was clearly fading fast.

"Hope!" Klaus called out gently. "Listen to me. You have to stay awake. You need to stay with me. Can you do that?" He was trying to insist without scaring her. She needed to understand the importance of his words.

"I'll try," she struggled to keep her eyes open, wanting to do as her father asked.

"Open your eyes. You can't fall asleep," Klaus instructed again, seeing her eyes fall shut for a moment. "I'm going to tell you a story… Before you were born, I was a very different creature. I was cruel. I was mean, and I would revel in the terror which I inspired in others. But, Hope, from the moment I saw you I wanted nothing more than to be worthy of being your father."

Hope stared up at him, wide-eyed, listening avidly.

"I'm afraid, Hope," he admitted. "I'm afraid without you, I'll return to the darkness. So I need you. I need you to fight."

"I will, Daddy," she promised.

"What are you doing!?"

Clarke turned around swiftly, spotting Hope in the doorway.

"You shouldn't be in here!" she marched into the room, grabbing his arm to drag him out.

"Hope—" Before he could say anything else, the world starting spinning.

They both spun wildly into a void of shades of blue. Her grip became impossibly tighter on his arm. He grabbed hold of her other arm with his free hand. They couldn't do much else but grit their teeth and try to hold on. The spinning kept going faster and faster until it finally cut off with a thump.

"Are you serious?!"

Hope woke abruptly, sprawled on the floor rather ungracefully. She whimpered at the pain in her big toe from kicking something hard on her way down.

Alyssa, who had pushed her facemask up to rest on her head, turned her nightstand lamp on and leaned forward. "Did you seriously just fall out of bed? Could you be anymore of a loser?"

"Go back to sleep, Alyssa," Hope grumbled as she climbed back up into bed.

"Like I can sleep through all that noise," her roommate said. "You are ruining my beauty sleep. And the great Hope Mikaelson fell out of bed. Wow, I'd be angrier if I didn't have the perfect story to entertain my friends with tomorrow."

"What friends?" she said sarcastically, trying to refashion her blankets from the twisted mess they'd become.

Alyssa drew herself up. "Don't worry, Hope, I'm sure everyone will only laugh a little."

Giving up on her blankets with a frustrated sigh, Hope stood and pulled sweats atop her pajama shorts.

"What are you doing?"

"Whatever I want," Hope replied. She walked into her slip-on shoes, grabbed her sweater and prism before leaving as quickly as possible.

She pulled the sweater over her head and walked quickly down the hall. She figured she'd be able to crash in Landon's room again so she wouldn't have to chance facing Alyssa once more that night. But first, she needed to have a little talk with Clarke.

"We need to establish some boundaries."

"I'll try," Clarke said with a smug little quirk to his lips. He sat on the bench by the dock this time. "Not sure it's possible given the circumstances."

"You could've stopped yourself from going into that particular memory," Hope said sternly. She decided not to sit, she was too restless. "It's not locked, but I know it's not a place my mind goes. I built it that way."

"You built a room inside your mind?" He was even more intrigued.

Hope sighed. "I learned it from my grandmother, just added a few bits of my own."

She'd spent so much of her life dealing with The Hollow, losing so much; it was easy for her to slip into intense memories of that time. She didn't like thinking about it, so she tucked those memories away. She remembered her uncle's red door and decided to do a variation of her grandmother's spell on herself. Too much of her life was intertwined with The Hollow for her to pull out that memory altogether. Even if she wanted to, the lesson she'd learned from it needed to stay with her. She never wanted to repeat that again.

"I did, you know?" her voice grew soft, lost in the memories, seeing the end of the scene that played out for Clarke in that room.

"When Dad asked, I fought, and I kept fighting," she explained. "Eventually a plan was formed to get her out of me. I had nothing to do with it. But I fought with everything I could to keep her from sealing herself inside of me until I didn't have to fight anymore.

"It didn't help him though," she continued. "I fought for him, but he still had to go. The Hollow was too strong. They split her power into four and put her into my family members, four original vampires, the only ones strong enough to keep her contained. Then they couldn't be near each other, or me, ever again. They stayed apart.

"Or, at least they did until a rebellious teenager decided she was tired of never seeing her father and then took the steps to get him to come home, which led to the death of said teenager's parents and uncle," she finished grimly. She didn't know why she was telling Clarke the story, maybe to assuage his curiosity so he wouldn't open that particular door again. Maybe because she had to get it off her chest now that she was flooded with the memories. Either way, it was done.

She went silent as she tucked the memories away and closed the door.

"So, boundaries," she said, voice a little lighter.

Clarke struggled with the change in emotions again. Before she closed them off, he was filled with remorse and guilt, two emotions he most definitely had never felt.

"I won't go there again," he promised. He squirmed a little. She had closed off the remorse and guilt, so why did he still feel the guilt? She definitely didn't look or feel guilty now. No, she was only mildly annoyed. So why…he realized he was the one feeling guilty for intruding upon her memory. Huh.

"It's more than that," she said. "I took Dream Interpretation. Spinning into an endless void? I don't feel in control of my own mind anymore, and you knowing everything is too…awkward."

Intimate. The word flashed through her head although she said something different at the last minute. He still 'heard' it. And he couldn't deny it. He was probably closer to her than any other person had ever been. He was learning all there was to know about Hope Mikaelson.

"Intimacy not your strong suit?" He asked with a lopsided grin.

"Clarke!" she groaned. "That's what I mean!"

"Look, I don't know what you want me to do," he said. "I can't turn it off."

"Have you tried?" she asked. "Have you tried to just not pay attention to at least what I'm thinking?"

"Not even remotely," he said. Why would he want to?

"Then do it!" Her eyes flashed in warning.

She didn't have to say the rest, she thought it. If he couldn't find a way to give her some space, she would perform the spell to unlink him—merge information be damned.

Well, as long as she believed he found a way, that problem was easy enough to get around.

"I'll do my best," he agreed, already formulating a plan.

She nodded.

"But couldn't you, just, I don't know…" he drew out. "Give me a body and then you'll be done with all this?"

"I haven't decided yet," she said.

"What's the hold up?"

"I don't trust you. How can I give you what you want knowing you could just turn around and make me regret doing it? And do you really know about the merge?" she said. "How can I believe anything you say?"

"Why would I lie?" he asked. "If I can't fulfill my end of the deal, what's to stop you from just destroying me? And, from my point of view, what's to stop you from destroying me after you get what you want?"

"I would never do that," she said. "I don't break my promises."

"Like you said you'd find a way to get us both out of Malivore?" he asked.

"That was before I found out you were lying to me, keeping me there, when I could've been out months earlier," she defended.

"I tried to plead with you then," he said. "Actually, twice now I've begged you to help me and made a promise in return. Both times you couldn't be bothered."

"That's not fair," she said. "I would've taken you with me out of Malivore if I could, but there wasn't any way. I told you, I had to get back."

"In a rush to get back to the very friends who betrayed you, right?" he said a little too harshly.

"They didn't know what they were doing," she said.

"But, they should have right? At least Landon should have," he said, unapologetically speaking her thoughts aloud just to make it more painful for her—no matter how much it hurt her subconsciously. He wanted to feel the pain. "If it really was an epic love, he never would have looked elsewhere. He told you he'd seen glimpses of you every time he died. But he didn't try to find you."

Her eyes stung, and she hated that he was using her own insecurities against her.

"Why are you saying that?" she asked. "Are you trying to make me angry enough to unlink you?"

"Did you once think about finding a way to get me out of Malivore after you left?" he asked.

"No…" she trailed off, realizing suddenly why he was acting this way. "I didn't think of you at all until you dropped the illusion."

"That's what I thought."

"I hurt your feelings," she said, a bit astonished at the revelation.

He glared at her.

"I left you behind, never thought of you at all, and I hurt your feelings," she said again, still wrapping her mind around it.

"You made that deal with Malivore to get out of the pit not because Malivore wanted me gone, but because you wanted to hurt me back," she said.

"You screwed me, Hope," he didn't deny her words. "And not in the good way."

"I'm sorry," she said wholeheartedly. She hadn't realized she actually had the power to hurt his feelings. If she did though, that meant… Clarke was a lot lonelier than she ever realized. He'd told her so himself, she just didn't realize the true extent.

"Place your pity elsewhere," he smirked. "We're long past that."

"Right…" She didn't mention that the only reason they were talking about this now was because his bitterness brought it to the forefront. She didn't have to mention it, of course. He already knew.

"I'll work on blocking your thoughts tomorrow," he mumbled glumly.

"And undisturbed sleep until then?" she asked hopefully.

"If you dream, I won't follow," he gave in.

He didn't much feel like exploring more at the moment anyway. He suddenly had the desire to get as far away from her as possible.

To be continued…