Kakashi: the perverted, Shakespeare obsessed, introvert that is the Daimyo of the Fire Nation and Iruka's number one fan. He's cute, an idiot, and affectionate. What's not to like? A lot of things, apparently, because he and his crazy charges are responsible for most the shenanigans in the tower. They are just being their eccentric selves, and they'll be damned if they allow some disturbed cult freaks get in the way of that.
The Eccentricities Chapter 2: Uchiha's, Crushes, and Crazy Cults.
The Fire Lord's tower itself was not only a sight to behold, but the mass of greenery behind it teeming with life attracted visitors like a magnet. The North Wing of the tower was the most ancient part of it; constructed by cobblestone back when Konoha was just an infant. Vines crept up the walls of the wing, covering the stained glass windows. Bunches of crimson sage and sweet potato bore witness to the Gardner's as they fed the plants water. Rice, roses, and various life grew plentiful as The Fire Nation was the ideal climate for crop growth.
However, the most abundant plants were eggplants. The Lord loved eggplants.
Mizumi sat heavily at one of the gardens many tables, an umbrella shielding her from the mild sun. Sighing, the woman pushed her bangs from her face in exasperation.
"Tea hour has arrived." Said the soft voice of a brown-haired woman who set a steaming cup of oolong in front of her. Mizumi nodded thanks to her.
As a maid herself, Mizumi normally would not be served but being the Daimyo's childhood friend had its perks.
Mizumi drank the tea cautiously, the liquid sloshing in the cup as she set it down on the table. Brown eyes met hazel ones, a fit of weary anger lingering within them. "Tsunade-San, good hour."
The blonde woman palmed her forehead. "Yes, good hour to you as well, Mizumi-san."
Mizumi did not know Tsunade well, personally. To her, the woman was just the angry lady who worked as her Lord's personal medic. She also happened to be a good substitute for armed guards, but everyone refrained from speaking about it. Kakashi only hired his guards for show. Mizumi wished she would get paid for doing nothing. Despite this, Mizumi had heard things (scandalous things) around the castle and in spite of her innate warning bells she insisted on having her curiosity quenched.
"The woman," Mizumi says and Tsunade peers up at her inquisitively. "The maid, Shizune, is it?" She gestures to the brunette who had recently served her.
"What about her?"
Mizumi grins. "You are totally smitten, are you not?"
Tsunade gains a tick mark on her forehead. "Where did you hear that?"
"You mean to say you do not know?" She replies, feigning shock.
"Know what?"
"Every person in the tower knows about your crush on Shizune-san." Mizumi cooed. "We all think it is simply adorable!"
Tsunade blanched, then turns all shades of red and pink before steam exits her orifices in columns. Her fist clenches hard enough to draw blood from her palm and her cold glare-
Mizumi shudders. If looks could kill.
"What did you say?"
...
"Iruka-San!"
Iruka turns around just in time to get a faceful of crotch, the scent of citrus surrounding him immediately. Oh, he thinks idly to himself. That's the body wash I use.
Naruto sandwiches Iruka's head between his thin thighs, cradling it with his arms so Iruka's face is pressed into his belly. "It is so so so so so nice to finally meet you!" He chirps excitedly. "The last time you visited, I was only a month old."
Groping blindly and taking quick, shallow breaths, Iruka sincerely hopes this person realizes they are a minute from asphyxiating him.
"Did you know that Kakashi talks about you like all the time?!"
Interesting.
Iruka's struggles weaken slightly, but the blond bombshell rattles on.
"And I-" Naruto stops to shriek with joy. "Neji!"
A lavender eyed boy comes up behind Iruka, but it's not like he notices with the way he is still being mercilessly strangled.
Dead via thighs. Squeeze, squeeze. Very soft thighs; not a bad way to go. Iruka wonders how nice that will look on his tombstone.
"Iruka this- ohh."
Suddenly, the thighs clamp tighter around Iruka's neck, his temples are squeezed hard enough to cause head pains. He grabs at the thighs frantically, but that supple-
Neji steps forward menacingly, glaring harshly at Iruka but again: It's not as if the man can actually see him. "Naruto." He says. "Let the man go."
The blond concedes immediately, launches himself off of Iruka and jumps into Neji's awaiting arms. It turns out what Iruka had actually been grabbing was Naruto's buttocks, but Neji doesn't bother telling him that.
Gasping desperately for air, Iruka clutches at his throat with tears pricking his eyes. "You-" he says between breaths. "You! You have ...ha...good taste in soap brands..."
Curiously, Naruto sniffs his wrist and shrugs. He offers his arm to Neji, who promptly smells him.
"And-" Irukas not done. "What ...
moisturizer do you ...use?"
Naruto beams. "Neji's cream, of course!"
Oh.
That fills Iruka's head with hundreds upon thousands of terrible, coma-inducing images and, needless to say, Neji is promptly rendered unconscious via excessive blood loss.
"Neji?" The blond is frantic. "Neji my darling?"
Iruka can tell the two are very attached. But still, cream?
...
"Mizumi-chan?" Kakashi is clad only in a large t-shirt, his legs in the air as he holds open a paper-back book. "What happened? Your bangs are uneven."
Mizumi flinches, touching her two-inch long bangs and then grabbing the three-inch-long ones. It's a cruel, cruel world.
"This definitely warrants a visit to the stylist."
...
It's late in the evening; she's wondering what clothes to wear
Snip. Large chunks of thick, black hair fall to the floor.
She puts on her make-up and brushes her long blonde hair
Snip. Thin strands of yellow hair float gently to the floor.
Simultaneously, two chairs spin to face their respective mirrors. Twin gasps sound through the otherwise empty room, squeals are heard and thanks are given.
As blonde and black blurs rush through the door, Mizumi is left standing awkwardly in the doorway with her snipped off bang in one hand.
The room is modestly sized, with black couches pushed up against the far wall. To the East and West walls salon styling chairs and mirrors are set up. Dead smack in the center of the room is a rotating pole with protruding shelves, a multitude of supplies filling each of them.
The stylist, from what she can see, has spiky black hair with blue highlights. He has broad shoulders, a white apron and baggy navy blue pants. Around his waist is a purple bow of fine lace, his left hand holding a pair of gleaming scissors.
"Mizumi-chan." The man says and turns slightly to face her. His black pupil has revolving tomoes that root her to the spot.
"I have been expecting you."
Her eyes widen.
He beckons her toward him, and in spite of herself Mizumi moves forth. In the blink of an eye he is pushing her into a chair, turning her away from the mirror. With his red eyes studying her so intently, Mizumi has a much better close up viewing of the handsome man.
The man begins trimming her longer bang.
"Oh, honey.." He cooed. "Who committed such a grievance against you?"
He doesn't give her time to speak. "My poor baby." The raven snatches a tool off of the rotating shelf without even looking.
All Mizumi can see is a blur of color until the chair spins, her hair falling perfectly into place. Mizumi's eyes widen once again.
"What..." Her dry lips part in astonishment. "What is your name, mister?"
The man's maternal demeanor is suddenly gone, replaced by a cold, vacant glare. "Sasuke Uchiha."
...
Kakashi blinks owlishly, looking up from his Shakespeare. Predictably, he's standing outside the stylist's room like the clingy barnacle he is. He swears he can't go a day without his dear Mizumi-Chan by his side and after her earlier disappearing act, there's no way he's letting her out of sight. Too bad the stylist has requested his privacy.
However, that's not what has Kakashi distracted.
The man before him smiles, attractive red lips stretching and making his black eyes sparkle genuinely. He has on a patterned, black high collared jacket with a red zipper. The sleeves are wide and hang off his hands, thin fingers peeking out from the sleeves. Black hair with a gray hue is held back in a single low ponytail that runs off into the collar.
Eyeing the clouds the man is sporting, Kakashi sighs internally. Another one of Nagato and Yahiko's eccentric entourages.
"Can I help you?"
"Your name," the man begins. "Is it Hatake Kakashi?"
Kakashi nods.
"Such a pleasure to meet you." He beams. "Leader speaks quite a lot about you, Hatake-sama."
"Of course he does!" Kakashi laughs. "I pursued his first follower."
"Quite persistently, at that."
Kakashi blushes at the reminder. Twelve-year-old him had no shame. And, to be frank, he still doesn't. Rather, his previous mental state was transcendent of all definitions of crazy. "And you would be?"
"Itachi Uchiha." The man, now identified as Itachi tells him. "Of the Akatsuki, that is. My brother was recently hired by you."
"Oh." Kakashi thinks briefly back to the stockpile of files he had looked through. "The one with the superiority complex?"
"That's on his file?"
"No, I could just tell," Kakashi says jokingly.
There is a single, brief moment in which Itachi's warm aura turns ice cold. As soon as it appears, it's gone as the man's eyes are now neutral. Kakashi wonders why he always seems to be getting into some kind of trouble with the Akatsuki and their members.
"Well, I'll be going then." Itachi nods respectfully. Mizumi exits the room just as he is going to open the door, and their eyes meet minutely. Itachi brushes her off easily, bumping shoulders with the girl as he passes by.
After he's gone, Mizumi scoffs. "What's his deal?"
"Another crazy cult member I have to fight," Kakashi responds with a sigh.
"Oh!" Mizumi's eyes gleam in recognition. "Like that guy you stalked-"
She can hardly finish because Kakashi is already walking away, his face burning with shame.
...
"Senju-San?" Shizune blinks with recognition up at the blonde before her.
Tsunade blinks back. What do you say when the source of your drunken ramblings looks at you all innocent like that?
Suddenly she becomes very sheepish. Her eyes flicker to the book in her hand. "You wanted this?"
"Oh-" Tsunade's daze leaves her abruptly. "Yes, I do."
Shizune chuckles. Tsunade feels her heart flutter at the sound. "Sometimes I forget you're a renowned medic."
"So I can have the book now?"
The brunette blushes, looking mortified by her rattling. "Yeah, sorry." She says and hands it over.
"So you're studying poisons, huh?"
Shizune nods. "My cousin is very skilled with poisons. And I-" something flashes in her chocolate brown eyes. Tsunade can tell she doesn't want to talk about it.
"Is your cousin a shinobi, or a medic?" She asks despite her curiosity.
"A shinobi. Perhaps you've heard of him, or even met him once."
"What's he like?"
"Warm, protective." She smiles gently with a placid look in her eye. Tsunade is immediately jealous. She hopes to one day evoke the same reaction. "Kind, generous. Handsome too!"
The older woman jokes, "Sounds like a keeper."
"He is, actually. Been in a relationship for four years."
"Oh-" Tsunade thinks of something to say; anything to keep the conversation going just a bit longer. "Can I get a name?"
Shizune smirks. "Sasori of the Red Sand."
Wow.
Tsunade blinks owlishly. Generous? Warm?
And worst of all: protective.
"I've met the guy a couple of times. Crazy one he is."
Shizune is unable to respond before her name is called raucously from across the room. The librarian shushed the voice but it is persistent. "That's Deidara: Sasori's boyfriend. There's this guy who's been sending Deidara flowers." Shizune laughs. "Sasori beat him bad enough to bruise."
Tsunade blanched.
Even as Shizune leaves, all she can think about is that the chances of her winning the woman over are increasingly low.
...
To be continued...
The reason for the description being in here is because there's a limit to how wordy a description can be when uploading to , which I did not know because I usually upload to Wattpad or Quotev. Also, I do not know how to edit the first chapter. Apologies!
A/N: Leave a hoot and a comment, thanks!