Letter to my beautiful, dear readers

Hello everyone. Long time no see. This chapter is not a chapter; however, it is a letter. One that I have given much thought over, and one that I will not sugarcoat.

I no longer enjoy writing smut. I feel that I have important things to say with my writing, and they get drowned out and cheapened by copious sexual scenes that are unnecessary to the plot. It feels to me like I am writing pornographic material and while that's great for other writers, it's just not me. I don't enjoy it. I feel like it's for a niche group of people, and it alienates a lot of teenagers, young adults, and male readers who prefer to read smutless things.

I will write love and sex scenes when the plot warrants it, but gratuitous sex scenes are not something I feel comfortable writing any longer. I have not understood why my writing block was so bad, yet I was coming up with so many smutless plots. I have 6 really amazing Dramione stories I want to write, with messages of recovery, hope, healing, drama, angst, family, etc… But I felt like I couldn't write them because everyone wants smut. But I decided… I want to be known for my prose; not my ability to write passable porn.

Again, it's all well and good if erotica is what you enjoy! More power to you! But it just isn't me. A story does not need sex to be good. I asked myself a lot why the other "top dog" Dramione authors disliked me and then I realized it's because the things that I write are coming across pornographic, irresponsible, and juvenile. My writing capabilities are none of those things, but I cheapened myself by taking heavy subject matter like sexual assault and inserting smut into it like Botox. As a result, those writers shunned me for using my gift to cheapen instead of share awareness, and that is why my writer's blocks kept returning.

I reiterate: if you write erotica, that is fine. There is nothing wrong with it. That is a valid genre, is publishable, and matters, too. But I was irresponsible to sexual assault victims like myself for writingHome and Invisible the way that I did. The guilt has been eating me up. For that, I deeply apologize and plan to do better.

This being said, I have chosen to discontinue these stories: Home, Invisible, and Sunlight on the Snow. Cupere will be completed with only 1 more chapter, instead of the 5 I had planned. I will be writing new stories that fit more into the T and M ratings, and any sex scenes will be plot-pivotal and will focus more on emotion and dialogue than action. Many plots will resurface in new fics, such as a Voldemort Wins AU I have planned, as well as an eating disorder-centric AU, and a Vampire/Werewolf hybrid fic. But I will write them more geared towards the young adult genre, and sex will be the seasoning and not the main course.

Thank you so much for reading my work and becoming one of my readers. If you were only here for the smut, there is no shortage of amazing works to read on my Alpha, mayghaen17's page! There is also tons of it on AO3! If you are here because you enjoy my work and want me to actually finish something, then please support me by continuing to follow me. I am starting work on Monday on the final chapter of Cupere, as well as the first chapters of my newer works.

I am by no means leaving the fandom, though I did leave the Dramione FB groups and remained only in my own writing group, and the Dramione Fanfiction Writers group. I am just stepping down from the E ratings, and going back to T and M.

I do not plan to delete these stories. I do value the work I put into them, and I value the fact that these stories did bring a lot of people joy. They are just abandoned stories now. For those of you who wanted to know what I had planned for this particular story, keep reading because I have added a summary to the bottom of this note. That way you will know what was going to happen. I do understand that I could write these stories out without smut in the endings, it's just that I don't want to. I feel that everything I have written so far, while it was good prose, was irresponsible to victims and survivors, and I no longer wish to complete them and continue to support work I no longer stand by.

Thank you again so, so much for following, favoriting, reading and supporting! I love all of you and plan to continue writing and bringing you guys impactful, emotional stories that will hopefully offer you reprieve from the pandemic, even if the smut diminishes and shrinks down. Thank you so much for understanding.

Read on to see what was supposed to happen in the discontinued stories. If you have any questions about these, please feel free to leave them on my Facebook group post that I have made about this letter!

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Home: On the day of the final battle, after Harry left the castle with the stone to go to the forest and meet Voldemort, Draco approached him on the hill. He was going to defect because of his fear and grief over Crabbe's death. Harry knew that he was a Horcrux, and he decided that he could not risk the stone interfering in his destruction, just in case. So he decided in that moment to give Draco the stone, his memories, and the truth about the Elder Wand. He made Draco promise to find Hermione after the war and protect her. Then he went to his death.

Three years later, Draco finds Hermione on the street and makes a plan with his mother to smuggle her and Aurora into the palace and into his rooms. This is why he had children's books in his room - Aurora and Hermione were meant to be hidden there. Privo Maglioni was the wrench in their plans, and Draco and Blaise had to work together to come up with a solution. Blaise took Aurora to his rooms, where she has been alive and safe with Ginny the entire time. Draco could not tell Hermione this without risking Voldemort seeing it in her head, because she is not an Occlumens. He had to let her think that Aurora was dead.

The person Hermione saw with the cloak leading the shorter person into the woods? That was Blaise leading Aurora to the Apparition point, to bring her to the Manor. On Christmas, when Voldemort's guard was down, Draco planned on smuggling Hermione out, and then Blaise, Ginny, Draco, and Hermione were going to escape to the Manor and Portkey to another country.

Side note: Voldemort wants Hermione's spirit broken, because a witch with a broken spirit is separated from her magical core. He planned on siphoning out her magic and absorbing it. If it worked, he planned on doing it to every single Muggleborn in Britain, and then taking over the world by being the most powerful wizard of all time. Hermione was his guinea pig, and he was using Draco to achieve this goal.

Anyway, after Hermione stabbed Draco, Voldemort went to the Manor while Draco was recovering, and he told him he knew that Draco was in love with Hermione. Voldemort also knew he had Harry's memories. He confiscated the memories, but Draco was able to hide the truth about the Elder Wand, making that knowledge their only weapon against him. Voldemort then cursed Draco to "act upon his darkest desires," and that is why when he returned to the palace, he sexually assaulted Hermione, and gave into his anger and rage. He fought it and continued to fight it, and at the point of the snow day outside, he has almost completely fought it off.

After Christmas, Voldemort, who still believes that Aurora is dead and who still has no knowledge of the Elder Wand's true owner, decides to put the nail in the coffin. He tells Hermione that Aurora is dead and since Draco can't risk anything, he doesn't say anything yet. Hermione's will is finally broken. Voldemort then lifts the curse on Draco, and tells them both that Hermione is required to wear the collar at all times now, and that they are being sent to handle a situation in Romania the day after Christmas.

In Romania, there was to be a lot of things happening with Theo, who was also sent with them to keep an eye on Draco, and then they were going to have a Mud Hunt (that will be in a different story that I have planned, so don't worry about missing out!). After the Mud Hunt, they were to return to Buckingham, where Narcissa was going to be there to help smuggle them out.

Long story short, there was to be a battle. The stone that Harry gave to Draco is inside of Harry's chest, wrapped with his cloak and other things. Hermione and Draco were going to utilize it and their knowledge of the Elder Wand to defeat Voldemort, and then they were going to flee. The exact ending I had planned is murky, because I was going to let it unfold as I wrote, but in the end, Hermione was going to be reunited with Aurora and learn that home is truly wherever the heart is, and that Draco fell in love with her through watching Harry's memories of her in the Pensieve in Dumbledore's old office (he used to go there just to watch them and look for signs of how to find her). In the end of the story, they were going to live in a hidden cottage with no magic, and with Aurora, for a year while they waited for Blaise and Ginny, and then when Blaise and Ginny arrive with the Portkey, they all leave together and live Happily Ever After.

Invisible: I won't go too in-depth, because it is a plot I may recycle for a different story, but basically, everything you suspected is true. Greyback is trying to build a hybrid army, and he purchased the laboratories so he could take three different demon's souls (demons that Voldemort had in captivity before he died) and splice them. The souls - their magic - can be split a large number of times and retain full brain capacity, therefore when a demon's soul is split and put into the body of a magical creature, if the soul doesn't destroy the body, it becomes almost clonelike. Draco's demon, however, is the only one, because he escaped by possessing Crabbe with his entire soul, rather than a split. It's a little hazy, what I had planned because I took on too much, but I just wanted you guys to know that most of your suspicions were right, there were multiple demons that you hadn't met, and that Draco's demon was selfish. If you have any specific questions about Invisible, comment on the post in my FB group and I will tell you!

Sunlight on the Snow: Draco's Dark Mark is leaking darkness into his magic, and Hermione was going to help him siphon it out and put it into an artifact, almost like a shadow of a Hrocrux. Then, they were going to destroy that artifact. Meanwhile, Hermione is severely Bulimic and Draco was going to help her with that. The issue with Ron was him exacerbating her disorder through stress and emotional abuse. Any specific questions, just let me know!

Cupere: Cupere will have 1 more chapter to wrap things up, but I don't know when. I will be starting it next week. There will be the culminating smut scene, and then it will be completed.