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Hope (is a Dangerous Thing)

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Slender hands reaching into the washing bin, she wrung the blood from the scarf and looked up at the two, "If you idiots are gonna keep running headfirst into trouble like this, then I'm gonna need to actually get paid… or ya hire another girl to wash the blood off your clothes." She said dryly.

"When we actually get funding, ya can hire all the staff you want," Her old friend retorted in the same tone before the men she was wringing the clothes of could say anything, rolling his eyes when she stuck her tongue out childishly. "So you lost the ronin, you said?" He asked to resume the conversation.

"Yeah, and then the stupid clerk kept sayin' for us to get the local police instead! The hell're the people of Kyoto thinking, defending ronin?" Shinpachi wondered annoyedly.

San'nan-san reminded them all, "never mind that we lack funding, or patrons, and the imperial nationalists –namely the Choshu ronin—are said to grease people's fingers."

Tossing a towel to her as she had finished with helping Shinpachi and took the cloth to wipe her hands, Souji looked over at her fellow lefty who had been silent the whole time, huffing quietly, "Ne, ya seem really calm considerin' you just drew someone else's blood, Hajime-kun." He observed.

Saitou remained quiet as he continued to scrub the blood off his yukata.

"What do you make of them, then, Saitou-kun?" Kawa wondered, speaking before her old friend could goad the man into answering.

Undoing the ties that kept his sleeves dry, Saitou answered, "they lacked skill with a sword but, considering our limited numbers, I'm more concerned about what should happen if the enemy surrounded us."

Toshi minded her scowl at the possibility and instructed them all, "for now, don't go out alone. Gettin' yourself killed won't do any good."

"At any rate there's not enough stuff we can do," Shinpachi commented from checking on the once-stained clothes, thinking on something as he looked to San'nan-san, "hang on, what happened with gettin' in with the Aizu Domain?" He asked.

"We'll soon be sending an official petition to the Lord of Aizu to remain in Kyoto." San'nan-san informed, looking a bit crestfallen at first. "Depending on their response, it's possible we'll have to leave… as unfortunate as it looks, our fate rests on Serizawa-san's connections and course of action." Minding his fellow vice-commander whose frown deepened at the thought, he advised him, "just tell yourself that we're only using him."

Toshi scoffed and remarked, "I can't make myself be so emotionally detached from this! Ya can say that's what pisses me off, but I swear that someday I'll outwit that old dog and lift Kondou-san to power."

Minding the determined furrow of his brow, too familiar of a look at this point in time, Kawa smiled for him.

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Turning to face the wall, she exhaled tiredly.

Most nights she slept like a baby, but tonight was one night where sleep seemed illusive and thus explained why she was trying to get comfortable. Screwing her eyes shut tight until she saw stars, she cracked them open when sleep evaded her again.

"Shit…" the woman growled under her breath, tossing the blankets off and sighing as she sat up and loosely ran her fingers through her hair, scowling at the wall before her where her swords stood propped. Maybe I just need a walk, she thought.

Getting to her feet and securing the sash for her sleeping robe at her waist, she quietly padded to exit the small room and step out onto the wooden walkway to start walking.

The whole manor was asleep it seemed, and she half-wondered for a second if that man had actually spent the night in Shimabara… Okay, maybe not the whole manor, in all fairness.

Coming to a halt when passing by a bush as she had heard the sound of someone grunting, the swordswoman raised both brows at the source. She calmed at recognizing her old friend, curious on why he was practicing so late, shuffling to sit on the porch where his discarded towel was and coincidentally near the steps that deposited into the small courtyard. She remained silent as she watched him, his drawn katana stabbing the night air as he gutted an enemy she couldn't see, retrieving his extended arm only to turn and repeat the motion again.

"I think the invisible intruders are dead now." She softly called to him when he took a brief respite, kicking her feet as her legs dangled over the lip, smiling for him when green found grey.

Souji relaxed at recognizing her, lowering the katana in hand to return it to its scabbard at his hip. "Gotta make sure they really are dead and not just fakin' it," he retorted with a sniff, causing her smile to turn patient, shuffling to kick his sandals off and join her on the porch. "Couldn't sleep either?" He asked, barely stifling a quiet groan when he sat down and felt his tired muscles creak, accepting the towel she handed him to wipe his face.

"My room's too small, I think… that or I knew you were too restless to sleep." Kawa mused, tilting her head as she looked up at him, "what is it?"

"Could always bunk with me, I've got plenty of room, princess…" Souji offered innocently as he closed his eyes only to crack one open at her and see her cheeks color at the thought.

Shaking her head slightly, Kawa deadpanned and started in a tone that sounded eerily like her look-a-like's, "Okita Souji…"

"Keep scowling like that and you'll really look like 'im; I'd personally rather ya not because you're too good-looking." Souji pointed out, smirking when seeing the stern line her lips were drawn into crack at his words, lifting a hand to brush locks from her cheek.

Closing her eyes at his gentle touch, even though she considered clocking him for comparing her to Toshi, Kawa returned to her main question and opened her eyes as she looked up at him. "Souji, come on, tell me. Y'know if you overexert yourself you'll get sick." She reminded.

Pouting somewhat at her stubbornness, he lowered his hand to the wooden floor and looked out at the courtyard before them, "Considerin' we've known each other so long, ya should know by now that I wouldn't pull that. I just…" Hearing her silence as he glanced at her bare feet that kicked a little, he sighed slightly, "Shinpatsu and Hajime-kun were lucky to finally get to kill some dumbass ronin, and I guess I'm jealous that I wasn't with them." He explained with a hard edge in his voice that sounded strange to her.

Brow furrowed with concern for him, she kicked her feet again and guessed, "Like you should know by now that I know you hate that dog more than I do, for humiliating Kondou-san like he has." She glanced down at his hand that gripped the edge a bit as he nodded, and she looked up at him, "I hated that look in Toshi's eyes, and in yours too, and I don't wanna see it again… don't do anything stupid, Souji." She requested quietly.

Souji looked at her to see her stubbornness was back full-force, finding worry also present as it darkened her grey eyes, and he looked away to the green of the nearby bushes to vainly get her burning stare out of his mind. "What makes ya think I'm gonna pull something stupid, princess…?" He scoffed.

"Because you'd do anything for Kondou-san, even when we were kids, you dumbass… even kill, if ya had to." Kawa stated, her hardened voice soft on the last six words.

"What the hell's wrong with killing if it's to keep by his side? 'Sides, you're one to talk considering you'd also do the same for Hijikata-san too." He asked pointedly, knowing he was right by all standards, never mind that she respected both men enough to do whatever was necessary.

Opening her mouth to snap back, she closed it until her lips pursed and her hardened eyes looked elsewhere.

It was quiet, awkwardly so, between the two. Whenever they argued in the past, which happened maybe once or twice if either could remember correctly, the silence only lasted so long before one would cave; the very last time they had argued and made amends afterward it was both of them who did so.

Hearing the quiet sniff come from her, the brunette looked to his companion and watched her hastily wipe her nose with her sleeve, and he puffed quietly. "I didn't think you hated killin' people, if you're getting emotional…" He started to say.

"I don't, mostly because I've never had to do it. Don't be an ass for once." She cut across, looking away to the stars above and huffing. "Can't help it sometimes, especially when I start dwelling on the possibilities regarding them… and you, too, considerin' you're important to me." She added, cheeks red with the heat that had crept up her neck to occupy her face.

Quieting at the last bit, he followed her stubborn gaze. "We're both morons, though, ain't we?" He asked thoughtfully. She was important to him, firstly because of their friendship, but he had been soft on her since they were fourteen… at this point it was extremely difficult for him to be away from her for long.

She looked away from the stars to him when it clicked, cheeks still rosy as grey met green, before a smile curled her lips upward and she glanced away. "Gods know you're a bigger moron, though, considerin' your height." She mused.

Brow twitching slightly at her jab, Souji pouted playfully, "now that ain't nice at all, princess…" He trailed off when she leaned up to kiss him softly.

Just as he was about to return the favor, something she wagered he had been wanting to do for years, Kawa planted a hand palm-first on his chest, "it's late, kitty. 'Sides, you smell like sweaty laundry." She pointed out.

Cheeks pink as some part of his brain was still processing that she had kissed him, Souji closed his eyes and sighed wearily as he drew away. "Guess you're right, ne, considerin' I can't kiss ya silly while smelling bad." He mused, pouting at watching her shuffle away to get to her feet.

Kawa smiled serenely when he straightened as well, lifting a hand to touch his cheek, her smile softening when he kept her hand only to kiss her palm. "Wash up and go to sleep, dummy." She advised gently as he let go of her hand with reluctance.

Souji's pout returned somewhat, earning a quiet giggle from her, at her ordering him around, leaning in to kiss her forehead before making himself step back. "Get some sleep too, princess." He winked at her before turning to leave her in favor of his room.

Kawa shook her head at his wink and smiled in his wake, turning about to return to her own room with a soft sigh.

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She grumped.

Kondou had announced that they finally got backing from the Aizu Clan, which was great. The best news she had heard in months… what wasn't the best news she got was being looped in with the boys to go with Serizawa to celebrate their achievement at Shimabara.

She hated the Red-Light District, namely because if it hadn't been for latching onto Toshi and the others, it would have been the unfortunate fate for an orphaned girl like her. Never mind that the men that frequented it were otherwise-detestable on most fronts… Serizawa being one of them.

Shinpachi owed her big for dragging her along, she vowed.

"Damn-well ridiculous…" Kawa muttered as she chewed on a big bite of fish, downing it with the remnant of sake in her designated cup, slightly bristling at the burning sensation the drink gave off.

"I strongly sense that Nagakura will be saddled with chores for the foreseeable future for this," Saitou commented quietly at her right side.

Kawa puffed at overhearing him and agreed, "Only for the rest of eternity."

"Oi, Okita, ya sure are a strange brat to be eyein' us after comin' to the Red-Light District." Serizawa's somewhat-slurred voice drew both lefties to the room, namely to the brunette in question who had been strangely brooding.

Souji huffed and looked at the older man with a mirthless smirk, "Nah, I'm really not interested in these kinds of places." At least not for looking at women who weren't the tomboy seated at his right.

"So then why'd ya tag along?" Serizawa pressed.

"Ain't it obvious? I came in the hopes of killin' ya." Souji replied honestly.

Mentally whacking herself out of shock, which was shared by the rest of their friends present, Kawa looked at him sharply, "Souji…"

Serizawa's booming laugh cut her off, then, adding to the uneasy vibe that had settled on the room. "'Cut me down', a snot-nosed shit like you? You're joking!" He crowed, relishing the death glare from the younger man, "yer death threats mean nothin' to me… at least in comparison to that Hijikata bastard." He added blandly, the mere thought seeming to steel him sober if for a moment. Minding he had not just Souji's attention but also Kawa's, he piled on, "when that man glared at me at the Honjo-Inn, I even felt chills! Threaten me all ya want, brat, but it's just childish prattle." He stated, chuckling at Souji's narrowed gaze.

"I'd be willing to kill ya for real if ya don't believe me…" Souji drawled with venom.

"Souji." Saitou put in, knowing for a fact that Souji didn't appreciate being berated and even less by a bully like Serizawa.

"He's killed more than one or two men, though," Serizawa turned his attention to the placating swordsman who clammed up at the right time, "he's much more imposing than a barking dog like you."

Kawa bristled, her dislike for her surroundings plus that man fueling her disgust, "Serizawa-san, please give it a rest for once…" She requested.

"You shut your mouth, stray. Instead of sticking up for your boytoys ya should be thanking me for being allowed to come to Kyoto, even if your only purpose is to be a lapdog for that inept fool Kondou…" Serizawa growled at her, trailing off when a clump of rice smacked him right between the eyes.

The silence in the room was near deafening as he brushed the food from his face, his beady grey eyes dangerous as he met the incensed glare of the lone woman who had stood to face him.

"That felt good, actually." Kawa mused quietly, a cold smile crossing her pretty face as she gauged the palpable rage coming from the bully present and continued, "I'd rather die than thank a worthless asshole like you. And for the record, don't insult my friends… It'd be a disgrace on your part if you died by my hand." She straightened the hem of her grey haori and turned to leave the room in favor of returning to the manor.

With or without the boys, she didn't care... she had lost her appetite.

"Kawa!" Souji called when Serizawa shot up to drag her into the room to make her apologize, scrambling to his feet to go to her defense, stopping at seeing she didn't need it.

Amber light from above glinted on the short blade of her concealed knife she had trained on Serizawa's jugular, and cold anger screamed in Kawa's steely eyes that dug into his alarmed beady gaze. She had expected such a response from the old dog, and what kind of woman would she be if she didn't have knives on her person?

"Kawa-chan, don't!" Shinpachi advised, looking around Souji as he and the others had scrambled into action, he and Saitou and Sano acting as a buffer between Serizawa's men and their friend.

"Relax, Shinpatsu." Kawa returned, having slid the door open with her free hand, lowering her knife to leave the room and slam the door in her wake. She strode down the hall, breezing past two maikos and calling an apology over her shoulder seconds later, continuing her fast pace until she was on the city streets and she broke into a run.

She didn't stop running until she was safely back at the manor.

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Closing the door in his wake, he sighed, "We got him to calm down, finally."

"You'd think he would be used to women pulling a knife on him…" She mused as she was combing her hair out, looking up at him when being met with silence and lifting a brow at the scolding look on his handsome face. "Did I mention purple really is your color? It brings out your eyes…" She added nonchalantly.

His brow twitched at her attempt to lighten things and he groaned as he shuffled to sit across from her, "what in hell am I going to do with you, Yasakawa…?" He asked at large.

"I had no choice, Toshi…" She lamented.

"Like you had no choice but to beat the shit out of those other morons when we were kids? You've really gotta come up with better excuses in the future if ya keep pulling stunts like this." Toshi cut in knowingly, watching her opened mouth close until her lips pursed, cocking a brow in return.

Kawa fiddled with the teeth on her brush as she remarked albeit vainly, "if we weren't depending on that asshole then you'd gut him first considerin' the mutual loathing… Noone would bat an eye if ya did it." It was no mystery that Toshi loathed that man more than she did, granted she was the one with the balls to knife said bully.

Quieting at her words as silence began to enter the room, her look-a-like puffed. "Souji seemed pretty pissed about what happened… doesn't surprise me though, considerin' he's been sweet on you for so long. But it seems like we can't be happy for shit these days." He observed with some bitterness.

Cheeks rosy at mention of Souji, she sobered at the last bit and folded her arms at her chest. "We've made it this far, Toshi, that's what matters most… isn't it?" She countered, looking up at him from glancing downward.

Minding the spark of hope in her grey eyes, hope for him to see the silver lining and focus on it, he exhaled shortly and rubbed his neck, "Yeah." Their eyes met and his face softened at the brightening of her gaze.

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"Those rules are too restrictive, if y'ask me," Sano complained.

"If Kondou-san approves of 'em then I'll obey them." Souji mused.

Heisuke nodded along and added pensively, "I will too, I just don't like seein' my friends get tied down by them. It's kinda different from how I imagined, to boot…"

Saitou spoke up as he looked to their female comrade, "I trust you'll also heed those rules, Kawa-chan? You're still the only woman in the Roshigumi, as far as I know." He asked.

Pouting somewhat at being singled out, Kawa let her legs dangle over the walkway edge. "I strongly sense that Toshi put those rules together to try and muzzle that dog, but considering they're meant for more than that, yeah. Never mind that my being a woman hasn't stopped me in the past." She answered with a bemused puff.

"So speaketh the resident badass," Souji commented, meeting her softened gaze with a wink, before looking to the newest addition to their ragtag pack who looked deep in thought. "Ya should prolly be careful from here on, y'know, considerin' you're still serving that man." He added to him.

Perking up at being looped in with them, Ibuki bristled slightly as he scowled and snapped, "it's not like I'm a member of the Roshigumi!"

"Souji's right, though," Kawa countered patiently, ignoring the surprised glances from her friends plus the named man, continuing, "until you're dismissed by him, if he jeopardizes his life by pulling another stunt, then you'll also be required to commit seppuku for his actions."

Balking slightly at having reality sucker-punch him as it had, Ibuki looked away with a scoff, "w-well I'm leaving before I ever have to deal with that crap!" He then turned to storm off and away from the group.

"Come on, guys, that was a little harsh, wasn't it?" Heisuke piped up in defense of his age-mate, sorely looking between the couple.

"Might just die in shock at having the princess agree with me, to be fair," Souji rolled his eyes at the ruffled teen.

Kawa shook her head at that, "keep gloating and I'll take it back."

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an: i wrote a bunch of Hakuouki fics like six yrs ago and i was reading them this weekend to get into this series. honestly was starting to miss these prettiful dorks lol
* "Hope is a Dangerous Thing for a Woman Like Me to Have - but I have it" - Lana del Rey (it was stuck on repeat in my head when writing this chap)