A/N: I hope you're all staying safe. I have more time on my hands these days, so I hope to have more updates for everyone soon. Thanks everyone for your patience, and I hope you like the ending to a nine month cliffhanger!
Rey woke up before Ben, and she stared at him in awe. In the early morning light, he looked beautiful. She brushed some of his hair out of his face and remembered running her hands through it before pulling the night before.
Through their bond, Rey could feel Ben's happiness and love. It was what she had felt from him in the throne room when she had said yes, she would rule with him.
And she realized she loved him, too.
Maybe she always had, and that's why she had wanted his hand in the first place. Why she had run from Luke. Why she had never felt known until Ben reached into her mind and she had gone into his.
Being with Ben felt like being completed. Like she had been functioning without a piece of her engine.
That's why she felt so guilty looking at Ben.
None of this happiness was real. Sure, she could play Supreme Leader all she wanted and spend her days tangled up with Ben ignoring the Galaxy, but she had gone with him for two reasons.
Stop a war. A war that was still very much going on, though the Resistance was still cleverly hidden away. She could only hope they remained hidden for as long as it took her to make the First Order collapse inward.
Save Ben Solo.
Had she done it?
He was a different man than who she had met three- had it only been three?- weeks ago. He smiled, he laughed, he slept peacefully next to her. She looked at his lips and wanted to kiss him again. And again.
Even then, she could sense the Light growing stronger within him. It had always been there, but now it was overtaking the Dark.
Did that part of her mission make whatever was between them fake? She had lied to him, she had actively undermined and manipulated him. That didn't mean she loved him any less.
Could he still love her when this was all over?
Or was she throwing away the only person who had ever made her feel at home for the Resistance?
Was that a sacrifice she could make?
Ben stirred next to her, and when he opened his eyes, Rey smiled at him softly. And though Ben smiled back, Rey felt how nervous he suddenly became.
"Good morning," he said.
"Good morning," Rey said back, placing a hand over his heart. Ben was silent for a moment before placing his hand over her's.
"Do you… regret what happened?" Ben asked, and Rey made a confused face. "I just… felt some sort of complicated emotion. Something close to regret."
Rey sighed, because of course her own guilt over manipulating Ben had woken him up, and of course he immediately thought she wanted to take last night back, which was far from the truth.
"Ben, I don't regret anything, I swear."
A lie. A complete lie, because she regretted putting him in this position, one where if she came clean and succeeded, she would break his heart. Rey shoved that thought aside and kissed him again.
Rey wanted to suggest they ditch all of their responsibilities again and stay in bed for the day. She knew Ben would say yes, especially once she made it clear what her plans for staying in bed were, but Ben suddenly broke away from their kiss.
"What would you think about running away?" Ben asked, and when he saw Rey's confusion, he added, "From all of this, I mean. The First Order, the throne."
Rey's heart stopped.
"And if you don't want to, if you want to stay here and end this war, then just forget I said anything," Ben said.
"I want to, Ben. Running off into the Galaxy with you is a dream," Rey said, quickly. She didn't want him to doubt himself or this feeling, and, surprisingly, she found herself believing what she was saying.
Maybe after the war, once everything was right, she would run off with him. Adopt an identity as a nobody, see everything there was to offer, just be happy with Ben Solo.
"I don't know if we can," Ben said. "At least, not now. Hux would send every bounty hunter in the Galaxy after us, and I don't want to live my life looking over my shoulder."
"So, let's end the war," Rey said, smiling, and her heart leapt into her throat when Ben smiled back at her.
That was the moment someone picked to pound on the door to the suite, and both Ben and Rey groaned when they realized it was Hux.
"I've had enough of this man," Rey said as Ben hopped out of bed.
She took her time admiring him as he located his pants. She had known his body was impressive after catching him shirtless, and swimming with him the day before had provided yet another glimpse. But neither compared to this- his bare skin. Ben caught her looking and blushed.
Rey sighed and looked around. It would take too long for her to get dressed into her clothes from the day before, and she didn't feel like finding a new outfit if she planned on staying in bed with Ben all day.
She grabbed Ben's undershirt off the floor, slipped it over herself, and, when she saw it reached close to her knees, decided it would work for the purpose of glaring Hux.
Ben stared at her with the same expression he had worn the night of the casino.
Raw desire.
Rey grinned at Ben and tried to push past him, but he pulled her back to him and kissed her. Rey stood on her toes, realizing for the first time how their height difference would mean she would always be on her toes if they kissed standing.
"Let's go see what he wants," Rey said once they had broken apart. Ben nodded and held the door open for her.
The common room had been cleared of their dinner the night before, and Rey blushed as she realized the servants could have entered the suite at any point the night before, and she and Ben wouldn't have noticed.
"I don't appreciate being kept waiting," was the first thing Hux said when Ben opened the door and the General stormed in.
It took him several seconds to process what he was looking at, and when Rey saw the understanding go off in his eyes, Hux looked like he was about to faint.
"Something the matter, Armitage?" Rey asked, slyly, enjoying the General's discomfort.
"Only that you two are ignoring all of your responsibilities in favor of… of…."
"Having sex, Armitage. That's the expression you're looking for," Ben deadpanned and Rey bit back a smile.
"We have a war council that is currently waiting on you two. You knew this was on the schedule, so I suggest getting dressed and joining us," Hux said before turning on his heel and storming out of the suite, letting the door slam behind him.
Rey started laughing. She couldn't stop herself, she just enjoyed making Hux uncomfortable so much.
And then her mind caught up with the situation.
A war council?
She looked at Ben, her laughter dying down. Ben was staring at the floor, looking a little awkward.
"Since when did we have a war council?" Rey asked.
"Since Hux spoke to me yesterday."
"You said that wasn't about anything important."
Ben was silent, shifting his weight between his feet. Rey crossed the room to him and took his hands.
"Ben, I'm not mad. I just wish you had told me."
Ben still wouldn't meet her eyes. She could feel pain radiating off of him.
"I just wanted to ignore everything except you for a while," Ben admitted, and Rey hugged him, resting her head against her chest.
She wanted the same.
Just Ben Solo. No war, no Force, no Light or Dark Sides.
They found themselves fully dressed and meeting with the war council only twenty minutes later, both still looking a fair bit disheveled. Rey didn't care too much about that fact, most of the Galaxy probably thought they had been sleeping together the entire time.
Hux was clearly fuming as they entered and took their spots at the table.
Rey waited for the spark of satisfaction from Ben that would usually come at that sight.
There was none.
"Thank you for joining us, Supreme Leaders. Now, to begin, as I explained to Supreme Leader Ren yesterday, we have located the remaining Resistance fleet hiding out on Corellia," Hux said, and shock rocked through Rey.
She knew better than to snap her head around to look at Ben, but she wanted to look him in the eye to know if Hux was telling the truth. If he had known and kept this from her.
Rey realized they had both been keeping secrets this morning.
"A few days ago, I proposed to the Supreme Leader that we launch an immediate attack as soon as we learned where the Resistance is. This is that time," Hux said, and Rey remembered the conversation. It seemed so long ago. Time was passing differently when she was around Ben.
She wished it would stop altogether.
"I'm in agreement," one of the higher ups said, and everyone around the table made noises of approval
Rey knew she and Ben were powerless to disagree.
If they did, it would be treason. It would be weakness.
It would be the fastest way to blow Rey's cover.
So she remained silent, trying to figure out how to save the Resistance.
It turned out that she might have done that already.
"Unfortunately," Hux continued, pulling up a holo, "the Supremacy is in no position to go into battle, no matter how easily that would end it. Guyai and GravStar have fallen far behind schedule on their repairs, and she keeps coming up with excuses."
Rey tried not to let her relief ring down the bond between her and Ben. Her work on the third engine had evidently worked, and if Ben realized she had anything to do with it, then he was keeping his mouth shut.
"The other issue would be the Stormtroopers," Hux continued. Rey must not have hidden her confusion well enough, because she caught Hux's look of complete hatred when their eyes met.
"As you've read in the reports sent to you yesterday evening, a large troop of Stormtroopers staged a rebellion last night. The final headcount this morning was at 546 defected soldiers, which wouldn't be a problem if not for the fact that these Stormtroopers were part of the fleet we would have taken with us to Corellia."
Rey's heart was about to beat out of her chest. Her other gamble had paid off. Mentioning Phasma and her cowardice felt like it might have been for nothing, but it had worked. The First Order was down some of their best Stormtroopers, and she was sure Finn would find his way to the troop.
He would teach them how to be human again.
He had taught himself, after all.
She missed Finn so much. She hoped he would catch the Stormtroopers and know it was Rey's doing, that Rey was still with them.
"What does that mean for this attack, General?" Ben asked, snapping Rey out of her thoughts.
"Since we will proceed with the attack," Hux said, shutting down the holo. "It means that we will need to be part of it."
Ben shrugged, but Rey felt the sudden spike in his anxiety.
"I've been on the front lines for years, General. It's about time you joined me," Ben said, but his voice was far from casual.
She knew what was different this time.
He would have to kill Leia, because there was no way the Resistance would win this one. There was no chance of a lucky escape, or enough confusion in battle for Ben to avoid it.
It would be Ben against Leia.
Rey would need to find a way out of this. And if she couldn't find a way out of the battle, then she would find a way to get Ben out of doing the inevitable.
It would break him, Rey knew it.
"Supreme Leader Rey, if you'll forgive my ignorance, are you able to pilot a ship?" Hux asked, and every eye in the room shifted to Rey.
"Just because I grew up on Jakku, General, doesn't mean I'm completely incompetant. Yes, I can pilot," Rey snarled. "But the Supreme Leader and I will be in the same ship. We can pilot a double."
"Are you so sure that's a good idea?" Hux asked, but one glare from Rey kept him from raising the issue further.
That, or he realized that if the ship went down, both Supreme Leaders would be out of the way.
"When?" Ben asked, finding his voice. "When do we launch the attack?"
"That's up to you, Supreme Leader," Hux said.
Rey wanted to buy time, but this was in Ben's hands. He was the one who would have to face Leia. She would have to let him take the lead and hope the Light in him was strong enough to keep everything from falling apart.
"Tomorrow morning. We have the element of surprise, we can afford less than 24 hours. Give myself and the Supreme Leader time to prepare and look into the Force," Ben said, and Rey was impressed at how steady his voice came out.
"Very good, Supreme Leaders," Hux said, a smug grin on his face. Rey wanted to hurt him. He had Rey and Ben right where he wanted them.
He was suspicious of Rey's allegiances and he knew Ben was on edge- Ben had told her that Snoke made it no secret that there was Light in him.
Hux held the power, and Rey truly hated him.
Leaving the meeting was a blur to her, because she kept imagining leaping across the table and killing Hux, but then the image of the Caretaker she had cut down on Ahch-To would flash in her mind. The only thing keeping her grounded to reality, from slipping to the Dark part of her she liked to pretend didn't exist, was Ben's hand on the small of her back.
Funny, she thought that she would be the one keeping him in place.
Rey didn't register anything as they made their way back to the suite, Ben's touching her the whole time. She kept flexing her hands, curling them into fists, feeling that Darkness inside her, the one she had felt on Ahch-To again and again.
But Ben's hand was on her back.
Ben, who was the whole purpose of being here. The whole reason she had double crossed everyone she knew. The only person who knew her.
Ben Solo.
Her anger evaporated as they made their way back to the suite, and it was altogether gone when Ben closed the door behind them and kissed Rey.
It wasn't like the night before. That had been curious, fun, like there was something new and precious between them.
This was desperate. This was a plea, this was hunger. It was what Rey had felt every day when she had brought in her picks and was waiting for her portions and thinking more, please. Just give me something more.
Rey translated each of Ben's kisses in her mind as she was backed against the door.
Please.
Please.
Please, Rey.
She met each of his kisses with her own, pulling his hair to bring him closer. It was too much, it was all too much, and Ben was the only thing that made sense.
It was all falling apart. Everything was falling to pieces, but she had Ben.
She would not lose Ben.
Rey made that statement to the Force, to the Light and the Dark.
You can't take him from me. You can have anything else, but you can't have Ben.
Ben started to pull at Rey's shirt, and as she pushed his up, she broke from the kiss long enough to say, "We have to get ready for tomorrow."
"Later," Ben said, and there was a need in his voice. She felt it, too.
Just for a while, they wanted to pretend it was only them. No wars, no conflicts, no Force pulling them back and forth.
So they did.
